This Time Is For Real

[Candoit]

Right now my plan is...

Apply non stop for jobs. Stop this AFLAC shit now
Apply for unemployment benefits
Make enough money to support more than my share any way possible
Work on me. Dedicate time to working on me. Going to the gym, going out and being social again

Showing through actions that I have changed.

We all change, that is the nature of the beast when we quit nicotine. The addiction that covers up so much, we just need to take the deep breath and re-learn a lot about ourselves.

But as we all see, we are not alone when we quit. We let other know that we do. That will let them know that when our behavior changes, it explains a little of why we are doing what we do.

And as I have texted you, when I say we are not alone, that includes the families from all of us, as that is the point we should all strive to get to. I included my wife and kids in my quit, as I believe you have (and others). And it is with this involvement I mentioned for the significant others to reach out to one another. They have that unique perspective that can help in so many ways from their help to us, with just conversing with others.

We all came from a similar background, we turned to a poison to help. Now lets turn to each other and our families to help.

Never look too far down as there is much there for you (in life and work). The sun will shine. Just keep looking for it.

I thank you again SD. I can do this, I have to do this. I didnt quit for anyone but me. I need to fix this for me.

Let me find the me that was hidden behind the lies and addiciton.

[SirDerek]

Right now my plan is...

Apply non stop for jobs. Stop this AFLAC shit now
Apply for unemployment benefits
Make enough money to support more than my share any way possible
Work on me. Dedicate time to working on me. Going to the gym, going out and being social again

Showing through actions that I have changed.

We all change, that is the nature of the beast when we quit nicotine. The addiction that covers up so much, we just need to take the deep breath and re-learn a lot about ourselves.

But as we all see, we are not alone when we quit. We let other know that we do. That will let them know that when our behavior changes, it explains a little of why we are doing what we do.

And as I have texted you, when I say we are not alone, that includes the families from all of us, as that is the point we should all strive to get to. I included my wife and kids in my quit, as I believe you have (and others). And it is with this involvement I mentioned for the significant others to reach out to one another. They have that unique perspective that can help in so many ways from their help to us, with just conversing with others.

We all came from a similar background, we turned to a poison to help. Now lets turn to each other and our families to help.

Never look too far down as there is much there for you (in life and work). The sun will shine. Just keep looking for it.

[Candoit]

Right now my plan is...

Apply non stop for jobs. Stop this AFLAC shit now
Apply for unemployment benefits
Make enough money to support more than my share any way possible
Work on me. Dedicate time to working on me. Going to the gym, going out and being social again

Showing through actions that I have changed.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

I'll tell you. Toastmasters is great. I love it. It's cheap too. I recommend it if you're looking to gain confidence. Plus you'll meet some cool people.

I will.

After spending the last hour crying my eyes out, I cant come to grips with just letting things go and happen. I want her to tell me right now how to fix it. I want to know that we will always be a family. I want to know that we will come out of this more in love than ever before. I keep asking her the same questions over and over.

But she is in a different place right now, I just need to hold onto her long enough to prove that I am worth loving.

Develop a plan. Develop a system. Tell your wife your plan and your system to get the income back up to where it needs to be. It's a process. It's a system. Tell her your system. Stick to your system every single day. It's just like quitting. Same dedication and same systematic behavior. Build your framework. Share with your wife. Get up every damn morning and work the fuck out of your system. Don't take no shit from no one. You are special. You can go out there and do whatever you want. Tackle it head on.

[Mcarmo44]

I just need to hold onto her long enough to prove that I am worth loving.

I know you are in a tough place and I'm here for you too man. But never forget your self worth comes from within not from another person. Is she is not in love with you it does not make you unworthy of it, it just means it's not the right fit.

[basshaug]

I'll tell you. Toastmasters is great. I love it. It's cheap too. I recommend it if you're looking to gain confidence. Plus you'll meet some cool people.

I will.

After spending the last hour crying my eyes out, I cant come to grips with just letting things go and happen. I want her to tell me right now how to fix it. I want to know that we will always be a family. I want to know that we will come out of this more in love than ever before. I keep asking her the same questions over and over.

But she is in a different place right now, I just need to hold onto her long enough to prove that I am worth loving.

Candoit:

I went through this 17 years or so ago (with my first wife). I heard some of the same things.

I don't know what to tell you . . it was one of the darkest periods of my life.

But I will be thinking about you.

Me too brother. I'm always a text or phone call away.

You are a smart guy. You will land on your feet and eventually work your way into a position where you are truly happy and satisfied. Keep on fighting. Keep on trudging through.

[Grievous Angel]

I'll tell you. Toastmasters is great. I love it. It's cheap too. I recommend it if you're looking to gain confidence. Plus you'll meet some cool people.

I will.

After spending the last hour crying my eyes out, I cant come to grips with just letting things go and happen. I want her to tell me right now how to fix it. I want to know that we will always be a family. I want to know that we will come out of this more in love than ever before. I keep asking her the same questions over and over.

But she is in a different place right now, I just need to hold onto her long enough to prove that I am worth loving.

Candoit:

I went through this 17 years or so ago (with my first wife). I heard some of the same things.

I don't know what to tell you . . it was one of the darkest periods of my life.

But I will be thinking about you.

[Candoit]

I'll tell you. Toastmasters is great. I love it. It's cheap too. I recommend it if you're looking to gain confidence. Plus you'll meet some cool people.

I will.

After spending the last hour crying my eyes out, I cant come to grips with just letting things go and happen. I want her to tell me right now how to fix it. I want to know that we will always be a family. I want to know that we will come out of this more in love than ever before. I keep asking her the same questions over and over.

But she is in a different place right now, I just need to hold onto her long enough to prove that I am worth loving.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

I'll tell you. Toastmasters is great. I love it. It's cheap too. I recommend it if you're looking to gain confidence. Plus you'll meet some cool people.

[pab1964]

And another thing. I just left Popcorn pick up for Cub Scouts. And I volunteer for fundraising for the Cub Scouts and I volunteer for fundraising for Little League. I think if you volunteer with whatever organization do the fundraising. Not many people want to do it. It'll give you good practice for sales and you'll find that raising funds for yourself is much easier. What I mean is: you'll learn that doing fundraising help should be passionate about pulling out money for the organization. And then you will hopefully realize that you can apply that's
M

Grizz my father was the Kernel for years. I am an Eagle Scout and Vigil Honor, also was lodge chief. I have two girls 7  4, so I dont think Scouting is in my immediate future. I am considering getting back involved in Masonary. I need to get out of the house and stop being a hermit more than practice sales skills. My biggest issue is that when I quit forced me to deal with all of the shit that it hid. Add on top of that my career coming unraveled. I have been grasping at straws to try and regain some kind of foothold.

My wife is right that I am not the same person I was 13 months ago. I need to change. I need to find that new medium between what I was and what I need to change.

I am way to stubborn and need to prove that I can do it on my own. That has to change.
I used to be able to see the big picture and now I cant.
I used to be confident but now I am timid.
I used have no fear of failure, now it consumes me.
I know spend more time thinking than doing.

There is a happy medium and I don't know how to get there. I will someday.

Wow, timid and fear are 2 words I would have never thought of to describe you! Use some of your knowledge and wisdom you put in here in real life. You can be very smart and at times intimidating on here. Stumbling blocks happen in almost everyone's life, you can choose to fight or lay down and I damn well know you're a fighter. Get off your ass and get it done whatever it is and whatever it takes. As far as your wife goes, stop and take time to see if it's you and don't wallow in your self pity! Sometimes we say things that sound a little harsh but often it takes a good swift kick in the nuts to wake us up! If I didn't give a shit, I wouldn't have already posted on this a half dozen times.

[Candoit]

And another thing. I just left Popcorn pick up for Cub Scouts. And I volunteer for fundraising for the Cub Scouts and I volunteer for fundraising for Little League. I think if you volunteer with whatever organization do the fundraising. Not many people want to do it. It'll give you good practice for sales and you'll find that raising funds for yourself is much easier. What I mean is: you'll learn that doing fundraising help should be passionate about pulling out money for the organization. And then you will hopefully realize that you can apply that's
M

Grizz my father was the Kernel for years. I am an Eagle Scout and Vigil Honor, also was lodge chief. I have two girls 7  4, so I dont think Scouting is in my immediate future. I am considering getting back involved in Masonary. I need to get out of the house and stop being a hermit more than practice sales skills. My biggest issue is that when I quit forced me to deal with all of the shit that it hid. Add on top of that my career coming unraveled. I have been grasping at straws to try and regain some kind of foothold.

My wife is right that I am not the same person I was 13 months ago. I need to change. I need to find that new medium between what I was and what I need to change.

I am way to stubborn and need to prove that I can do it on my own. That has to change.
I used to be able to see the big picture and now I cant.
I used to be confident but now I am timid.
I used have no fear of failure, now it consumes me.
I know spend more time thinking than doing.

There is a happy medium and I don't know how to get there. I will someday.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

And another thing. I just left Popcorn pick up for Cub Scouts. And I volunteer for fundraising for the Cub Scouts and I volunteer for fundraising for Little League. I think if you volunteer with whatever organization do the fundraising. Not many people want to do it. It'll give you good practice for sales and you'll find that raising funds for yourself is much easier. What I mean is: you'll learn that doing fundraising help should be passionate about pulling out money for the organization. And then you will hopefully realize that you can apply that's
M

[cbird65]

Echoing all the thoughts, prayers. LinkedIn is another great business networking platform

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

Why not get a regular job and keep doing Aflac on the side? Join some networking groups too. I do BNI and toastmasters. Works well with my regular sales job and side business. With the networking you will make new friends and land some new business. Plus volunteer with your kids activities and stuff too. I was in a bad place about a year ago and I resolved to get out in the world and mix it up. Things have gotten better. More people are buying from me. I'm now thinking of joining Kiwanas or something like that on top of the other stuff. just some thoughts in what helped me a while back. Thought maybe it would help you.

[howgoodgodis]

Go to the wedding brother. Go to the wedding.