WW Introduction

[Dagranger]

Day 95..

posted in April 2016...

This weekend my wife and daughter are heading out of town. That leaves me and my son at home. I was a ninja dipper and in the past this weekend would have been golden. I would have sat around and dipped all weekend with nothing to hide. I would have killed my quit in the past. For what? Did that make my life better and happier? No. Did I enjoy making sure that I hid all the evidence before she come home? No. Did I enjoy feeling like shit on Monday and knowing that I better buy tin? No. Did I really think that I could just do it that weekend and stop? I wished that was the case but now I know that IÂ’m an addict and that line is total BS. I woke up this morning with no fear of losing this battle. I know that the Nic Bitch will be calling but I will be ready. I will hear her but I will not listen. For the first time in my life, I have the tools and desire to win. I am quit today.

It wasn't bad at all...I had some craves but nothing major. I had the attitude that "I'm Quit"...why would I use that nasty shit? I also had "The Talk" with my 13 year son that weekend...one thing I will say about that talk is that I hope I pounded into his head about the evil of nicotine. I even told him that I was a ninja dipper. Which he had no idea. It feels good having nothing to hide.

that is cool WW. I was a ninja too, only about 5 people knew i dipped. So after I quit, many more know now, i've come clean with some just to try to get them to quit mainly, but it does feel good come out of hiding.

Good post. I was a shitbird ninja dipper as well. The single greatest part about being quit, is it allows me to be honest, truly honest, with everyone I love.

If it helps, my wife left for an overnight business trip today and dipping didn't enter my mind....so dealing with an empty house will get easier for you as well.

[ChickDip]

Day 95..

posted in April 2016...

This weekend my wife and daughter are heading out of town. That leaves me and my son at home. I was a ninja dipper and in the past this weekend would have been golden. I would have sat around and dipped all weekend with nothing to hide. I would have killed my quit in the past. For what? Did that make my life better and happier? No. Did I enjoy making sure that I hid all the evidence before she come home? No. Did I enjoy feeling like shit on Monday and knowing that I better buy tin? No. Did I really think that I could just do it that weekend and stop? I wished that was the case but now I know that IÂ’m an addict and that line is total BS. I woke up this morning with no fear of losing this battle. I know that the Nic Bitch will be calling but I will be ready. I will hear her but I will not listen. For the first time in my life, I have the tools and desire to win. I am quit today.

It wasn't bad at all...I had some craves but nothing major. I had the attitude that "I'm Quit"...why would I use that nasty shit? I also had "The Talk" with my 13 year son that weekend...one thing I will say about that talk is that I hope I pounded into his head about the evil of nicotine. I even told him that I was a ninja dipper. Which he had no idea. It feels good having nothing to hide.

that is cool WW. I was a ninja too, only about 5 people knew i dipped. So after I quit, many more know now, i've come clean with some just to try to get them to quit mainly, but it does feel good come out of hiding.

[walterwhite]

Day 95..

posted in April 2016...

This weekend my wife and daughter are heading out of town. That leaves me and my son at home. I was a ninja dipper and in the past this weekend would have been golden. I would have sat around and dipped all weekend with nothing to hide. I would have killed my quit in the past. For what? Did that make my life better and happier? No. Did I enjoy making sure that I hid all the evidence before she come home? No. Did I enjoy feeling like shit on Monday and knowing that I better buy tin? No. Did I really think that I could just do it that weekend and stop? I wished that was the case but now I know that IÂ’m an addict and that line is total BS. I woke up this morning with no fear of losing this battle. I know that the Nic Bitch will be calling but I will be ready. I will hear her but I will not listen. For the first time in my life, I have the tools and desire to win. I am quit today.

It wasn't bad at all...I had some craves but nothing major. I had the attitude that "I'm Quit"...why would I use that nasty shit? I also had "The Talk" with my 13 year son that weekend...one thing I will say about that talk is that I hope I pounded into his head about the evil of nicotine. I even told him that I was a ninja dipper. Which he had no idea. It feels good having nothing to hide.

[brettlees]

Day 80...the ebbs and flow of quitting are exhausting. The other day...I'm feeling like shit but then today rolls around and I feel on top of the world. The seasonal / event triggers are real. Last Thursday was Day 1 of March Madness. The whole day that nic bitch never left me alone. The next day...no problems. I find I have to go through the event once to correct the thought process. Almost like I did this once already and survived...so no big deal.

These craves that I have are real though. Just today I thought...yippie...three day weekend...time to relax and dip all holiday weekend. That is so crazy because I love being quit. I'm at peace with being quit. I quit today.

So for all you quitters or potential quitter...you need to be 100% committed to this quit. It is a mindset. It is a lifestyle. When a temptation comes along...All you have to think or say is "I'm Quit". There is need to put any thought or logic on why you should have just one because you are quit. Simple right?

The quit roller-coaster my friend. Enjoy the struggle: it means you are winning :) Keep +1ing until the suck and craves are gone, and hate that nasty poison people.

Keep logging your experiences- it helps others! and, it'll be great to look back and see how far you've come, for a long time!

Like you're experiencing, the bitch's claws were apparently deep in me too- I had a lot of symptoms for a long time. I still get a stupid flash of a crave or "what if" thought once in a while, at nearly 900 days. One way to see it is that it keeps you on your toes... much better than being complacent!

CBird was like a quit sherpa to me, guiding me along the path. One important thing he told me- 100 days means that you should have the quit tools gathered up and know how to use them. You still have to work at your quit though. I found that to be so true- and the tools keep saving me.

Glad you are here, doing this your way- because it helps others!

Keep hanging in there, it's pretty normal to have some temptations around this time, and right around HOF time. Just smack them down, get help, or do whatever it takes for whatever happens.

[B-loMatt]

Day 80...the ebbs and flow of quitting are exhausting. The other day...I'm feeling like shit but then today rolls around and I feel on top of the world. The seasonal / event triggers are real. Last Thursday was Day 1 of March Madness. The whole day that nic bitch never left me alone. The next day...no problems. I find I have to go through the event once to correct the thought process. Almost like I did this once already and survived...so no big deal.

These craves that I have are real though. Just today I thought...yippie...three day weekend...time to relax and dip all holiday weekend. That is so crazy because I love being quit. I'm at peace with being quit. I quit today.

So for all you quitters or potential quitter...you need to be 100% committed to this quit. It is a mindset. It is a lifestyle. When a temptation comes along...All you have to think or say is "I'm Quit". There is need to put any thought or logic on why you should have just one because you are quit. Simple right?

The quit roller-coaster my friend. Enjoy the struggle: it means you are winning :) Keep +1ing until the suck and craves are gone, and hate that nasty poison people.

[Cantoo]

Day 80...the ebbs and flow of quitting are exhausting. The other day...I'm feeling like shit but then today rolls around and I feel on top of the world. The seasonal / event triggers are real. Last Thursday was Day 1 of March Madness. The whole day that nic bitch never left me alone. The next day...no problems. I find I have to go through the event once to correct the thought process. Almost like I did this once already and survived...so no big deal.

These craves that I have are real though. Just today I thought...yippie...three day weekend...time to relax and dip all holiday weekend. That is so crazy because I love being quit. I'm at peace with being quit. I quit today.

So for all you quitters or potential quitter...you need to be 100% committed to this quit. It is a mindset. It is a lifestyle. When a temptation comes along...All you have to think or say is "I'm Quit". There is need to put any thought or logic on why you should have just one because you are quit. Simple right?

I know what you mean. The nic bitch is telling you this whole quit thing was too easy and you can quit again if you caved. But I have to remind myself why I quit. Heck yeah I enjoyed dipping but man have I ever enjoyed not dipping. The raw lip, the nasty breath, the mind telling you that sore in your mouth is probably not cancer....or is it, walking away from family to take a dip by myself. My mouth feels great, I think my breath is better, not worrying about mouth sores, and hanging with the wife and kids when I normally wouldn't. But the ultimate was convincing my 17 year old son to quit dipping. He may still do it but he doesn't do it around me or the family. And I haven't seen any signs he is doing it and I think I would know. Anyway, glad people like you are here and I quit with today.
Cantoo - 84

[Sacksyboy]

Thanks for the update dude. Guys like you add strength to my quit. Day 6, head is pounding, but giving in is not an option. I'm quit. It is that simple. I can grab some gum (not nicotine), throw in some seeds, go for a run, naw on my damn lip, but throwing in a dip? No sir. That is not an option. And I couldn't be more excited to have found this site and begun developing that mindset.

Proud to quit with you today, brother. Praying for your quit specifically today.

[walterwhite]

Day 80...the ebbs and flow of quitting are exhausting. The other day...I'm feeling like shit but then today rolls around and I feel on top of the world. The seasonal / event triggers are real. Last Thursday was Day 1 of March Madness. The whole day that nic bitch never left me alone. The next day...no problems. I find I have to go through the event once to correct the thought process. Almost like I did this once already and survived...so no big deal.

These craves that I have are real though. Just today I thought...yippie...three day weekend...time to relax and dip all holiday weekend. That is so crazy because I love being quit. I'm at peace with being quit. I quit today.

So for all you quitters or potential quitter...you need to be 100% committed to this quit. It is a mindset. It is a lifestyle. When a temptation comes along...All you have to think or say is "I'm Quit". There is need to put any thought or logic on why you should have just one because you are quit. Simple right?

[Mogul]

Thank you for an excellent read. I quit stronger because there are people like you that "get it".

Mogul

[walterwhite]

Day 65Â…I feel like shitÂ…I canÂ’t tell if IÂ’m getting sick, the funk coming back or a combo of the two. It seems like I only post when I feel like I do today. I find it helps so IÂ’m back.

For the most part, IÂ’m really enjoying my quit. Most days are easy and not too bad. Today sucks but I donÂ’t have any crazy craves. I had some this past weekend. I cleaned out the basement and I would always have a dip in. Not this past weekendÂ….nopeÂ…IÂ’m quit. IÂ’m proud of that win. The more I win the easier it gets to win those battles. I know I will continue to have these battles but I have the tools and desire to win. There is no room for failure in my quit.

Some things I have read that I would like to shareÂ…

Give me this drama all day long. This is healing. This is real. This is honest. This is the rocky road to freedom.

This is not locker room, frat bullshit, this is what is supposed to be here. Many of us never lived as adults with out nicotine in our system. So everything here is not "relearning" but learning how to be functional adults. *if rky and waste are our bench marks we have a long way to go.

So, keep it up, own it!

This is so true. I have lived longer with nicotine controlling my life then without. How fucked up is that? So for everything I do and maybe for the rest of my life, I will be training my body and mind without nicotine.


I also had my first dip dream last night. I dreamed that I cave and I was OK with that. I wasnÂ’t angry at myself and I started to write my answers to the 3 questions. How fucked up is this addiction? FU nicÂ…not today. I QLF today.

Some things IÂ’m happy about and have greatly improved since day 1Â…

1.   When I driveÂ…I donÂ’t crave
2.   After I eatÂ…I donÂ’t crave

Some things that IÂ’m still ashamed aboutÂ…I was a ninja dipper

1.   Wife is going away all day this SaturdayÂ…first thoughtÂ…oh goodyÂ…I can dip all day.
2.   SonÂ’s asks me to throw the baseball aroundÂ…first thoughtÂ…I can grab a dip.

Hoping with time these ashamed moments go away. But they are constant reminder on why this is an addiction and not a habit.

[ChickDip]

Day 53...I feel shitty....but not that shitty if you know what I mean. I have come a long way since day 1. When I look back at the past 50 days I feel proud of myself. This is the first time that I have taken ownership of my quit. I have tried quitting in the past and have failed everyone of them. I always felt that I could have just one dip and go back to being quit. Nope...I am an addict and I can never have just one. I have told my wife that I was a ninja dipper...probably the best thing I have ever done. It has strengthen our marriage and made quitting real for me. I have nothing to hide. I enjoy being dip free. I enjoy not hiding from my family to get my fix. I enjoy not worrying if I have enough tins to last the weekend. I love being me!

The other day I was out for a run. I didn't have it. You runners know what I'm talking about. Every muscle burns and you feel you can't keep going. Every house you are saying...just one more house and I will stop but you keep on going and enduring the suck. The week before I had the best run in awhile. It felt like I was unstoppable and I could just run and run. I remember thinking...the suck....that is what quitting is about too. If every time I went for a run and it sucked I would probably never run again. But I continue to run because of those days that I feel unstoppable. You get this joy and sense of accomplishment that I am the biggest, baddest mother f'er out there and nothing is going to stop me. We must endure the suck...to get stronger. If we didn't have the suck...we wouldn't appreciate the good days. Most days running(quitting) is no big deal...some days it really sucks...and other days it's just plain easy and it just fucking rocks.

To my future self...when the days are shitty like today...don't give up...because look how far you have come and look how many BAQ's are here supporting you. You never want a day 1 again. Remember that feeling of caving last year after 7 months of freedom. Remember those 6 months of feeling like a shithead for using until you took back control of your life and posted Day 1 - January 4, 2016.

P.S. Exercise really helps with THE SUCK.

ODAAT

You are the biggest, baddest mother f'er out there and nothing is going to stop you.
BAQ Walt!

[walterwhite]

Day 53...I feel shitty....but not that shitty if you know what I mean. I have come a long way since day 1. When I look back at the past 50 days I feel proud of myself. This is the first time that I have taken ownership of my quit. I have tried quitting in the past and have failed everyone of them. I always felt that I could have just one dip and go back to being quit. Nope...I am an addict and I can never have just one. I have told my wife that I was a ninja dipper...probably the best thing I have ever done. It has strengthen our marriage and made quitting real for me. I have nothing to hide. I enjoy being dip free. I enjoy not hiding from my family to get my fix. I enjoy not worrying if I have enough tins to last the weekend. I love being me!

The other day I was out for a run. I didn't have it. You runners know what I'm talking about. Every muscle burns and you feel you can't keep going. Every house you are saying...just one more house and I will stop but you keep on going and enduring the suck. The week before I had the best run in awhile. It felt like I was unstoppable and I could just run and run. I remember thinking...the suck....that is what quitting is about too. If every time I went for a run and it sucked I would probably never run again. But I continue to run because of those days that I feel unstoppable. You get this joy and sense of accomplishment that I am the biggest, baddest mother f'er out there and nothing is going to stop me. We must endure the suck...to get stronger. If we didn't have the suck...we wouldn't appreciate the good days. Most days running(quitting) is no big deal...some days it really sucks...and other days it's just plain easy and it just fucking rocks.

To my future self...when the days are shitty like today...don't give up...because look how far you have come and look how many BAQ's are here supporting you. You never want a day 1 again. Remember that feeling of caving last year after 7 months of freedom. Remember those 6 months of feeling like a shithead for using until you took back control of your life and posted Day 1 - January 4, 2016.

P.S. Exercise really helps with THE SUCK.

ODAAT

[ChristopherJ]

Walter, I am glad to see you here to quit, but I am confused by your intro. What do you mean by "I used the roll call on KTC website but never joined the forums"? I assume that means that you have not been in a prior quit group?

Congrats on posting in April! Posting roll is the heart and soul of KTC. It is great to see you clearly state that you know you are addicted. That was half the battle for me and the cause of so many failures before joining KTC. Rest assured that there will be voices from the nic bitch whispering in your ear agin telling you it is oK to have just one . . . That's where the tools and accountability here with your brothers at KTC can really help.

I was never in a prior quit group. I used this site...

http://blog.killthecan.org/2016/01/roll ... -6th-2016/

and posted mostly daily until I hit 100 days.

OK - got it - I never knew that was even there. It sure lacks the accountability that really makes quitting work. Great that you came back and dug a little deeper into the site. Know that "mostly daily" doesn't work anymore. You have to be in this full bore. Are you this time Walter? If so, I'm quit with you ODAAT, but every freakin day. Check your PM

[walterwhite]

Walter, I am glad to see you here to quit, but I am confused by your intro. What do you mean by "I used the roll call on KTC website but never joined the forums"? I assume that means that you have not been in a prior quit group?

Congrats on posting in April! Posting roll is the heart and soul of KTC. It is great to see you clearly state that you know you are addicted. That was half the battle for me and the cause of so many failures before joining KTC. Rest assured that there will be voices from the nic bitch whispering in your ear agin telling you it is oK to have just one . . . That's where the tools and accountability here with your brothers at KTC can really help.

I was never in a prior quit group. I used this site...

http://blog.killthecan.org/2016/01/roll ... -6th-2016/

and posted mostly daily until I hit 100 days.

[mattapric]

I quit with you Walter.

One day at a time.