I'm A Douche

[jonathanrivers]

No more. The white trash folks can move quicker to the register with their Keystone Light and endless lottery purchases. Ramdeep can forget the difference between Classic and Wintergreen. And I can drive the fuck on by, every time.

Just for shits, maybe I'll drop in and lick the pin pad like SWJ suggests. If you think about it, as nasty as that sounds, it's probably a better use of your oral facilities than stuffing the unspecified components contained in a dip in your mouth.



'crackup'  'crackup'  'crackup'  'crackup'  'crackup'

Classic!!!!

LOOT has better use for your oral facilities....'bj'

You a pillow-biter, Loot?

'crackup'

It would seem so, Russ. Funny shit right here....hahah

[rgross298]

No more. The white trash folks can move quicker to the register with their Keystone Light and endless lottery purchases. Ramdeep can forget the difference between Classic and Wintergreen. And I can drive the fuck on by, every time.

Just for shits, maybe I'll drop in and lick the pin pad like SWJ suggests. If you think about it, as nasty as that sounds, it's probably a better use of your oral facilities than stuffing the unspecified components contained in a dip in your mouth.



'crackup'  'crackup'  'crackup'  'crackup'  'crackup'

Classic!!!!

LOOT has better use for your oral facilities....'bj'

You a pillow-biter, Loot?

[shortround]

Unless, of course, you find that the only thing that keeps your mind off tobacco is to pack your ass-crack with peanut butter and lurk around outside the local Wal-Mart with your gramma's panties on your head.

In that case, you should do something else.

Now wait a minute. Next to KTC this has been instrumental in my quit. Gmann taught me this little trick and though it may be a little unorthodox compared to some methods, its been getting the job done. :huh:

Welcome dave, glad to be quit with you man. Like SWJ said, do whatever you gotta do to keep that shit out of your mouth one day at a time. We're all with you.

Drop me a PM if you need anything, except my peanut butter. I don't share that.

[SWJ]

Not really sure why I'm writing this - maybe it's my desire to write an HOF speech in 96 days.

Dude, I'll admit that I'm perhaps the last guy who should be giving advice around here, but it's my page, so I'll holla anyway.

1. You'll get to 100 days. I'll get there with you  we'll do it together.

2. You keep writing. Whatever keeps you quit, you keep doing it.

Unless, of course, you find that the only thing that keeps your mind off tobacco is to pack your ass-crack with peanut butter and lurk around outside the local Wal-Mart with your gramma's panties on your head.

In that case, you should do something else.

3. Lean on the dudes here. Especially after 100 days. Trust me.

Congratulations on your decision, bro.

I'll be quit with you tomorrow.

[swimmerdave]

The creative writing skills in this forum are awesome - thank you for the great laughs.

Since I am starting a new quit - 4.7563 days anything that helps - helps.

I just put some Decaf coffee grounds into a can of three year old Bacc Off (that I kept since my last failed quit). I don't remember St. Pattys day too much - no I wasn't drinking - I don't hardly drink - it was day Uno.

The dog tried to bite me last night - my daughter says I am mean - my wife wonders what is going on and that I am Incorrigible - which by the way I had to look at the text to just see how that was spelled again.

All this to say that I think this quit is going to work better than any other quit.
I've got a goal - a reward if you will - from my wife - the okay to plan a trip in October if I can make 120days - I had a quit date and last chew - that helped.

I've got some people praying for me - yes I believe in a Creator and a Savior and a Helper.

The cravings last about 3 minutes - that little info has helped a bunch.

Not really sure why I'm writing this - maybe it's my desire to write an HOF speech in 96 days. Oh well later

[loot]

No more. The white trash folks can move quicker to the register with their Keystone Light and endless lottery purchases. Ramdeep can forget the difference between Classic and Wintergreen. And I can drive the fuck on by, every time.

Just for shits, maybe I'll drop in and lick the pin pad like SWJ suggests. If you think about it, as nasty as that sounds, it's probably a better use of your oral facilities than stuffing the unspecified components contained in a dip in your mouth.



'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'

Classic!!!!

LOOT has better use for your oral facilities....'bj'

[Grizzly25]

No more. The white trash folks can move quicker to the register with their Keystone Light and endless lottery purchases. Ramdeep can forget the difference between Classic and Wintergreen. And I can drive the fuck on by, every time.

Just for shits, maybe I'll drop in and lick the pin pad like SWJ suggests. If you think about it, as nasty as that sounds, it's probably a better use of your oral facilities than stuffing the unspecified components contained in a dip in your mouth.



'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'

Classic!!!!

[SWJ]

I'm on day 755 and rolled in here because I had a small fleeting crave today. I figured  proactive visits like this have worked the past couple of years so no reason to break the streak now right? 

I thought a quick visit might help and it did.

Welcome back bro, see you tomorrow then eh?

Roger that.

[rgross298]

Dang. 

As it turns out, I fucking hate Day 6.

I spent some time this morning looking through the Words Of Wisdom and have set aside some time later this afternoon to kick my own ass.

Reading my posts from before make me feel like complete shit.

I should have paid attention.  I should have listened. 

I should have stayed accountable.

Now I'm back here.  In the basement. 

Typing shit randomly to keep my mind off chew, like a Grade-A fucktard.

If I could challenge myself to a fight in the parking lot after work, I assure you, I would wreck my own shit. 

Just for being a dumbass.

I must have passed like a zillion convenience stores today.

I swear they're multiplying. 

At one point this morning, I thought I could actually taste wintergreen in my pie-hole.

Then I thought of a couple of things...

First, I've proven that I can let people down once, but it would really suck to do it twice.

Second, I really want to give my wife the gift of 150 Days Quit on our anniversary this year.

And third, I tried to come up with some things that would be appropriate alternatives to me asking the convenience store clerk for a can of dip...

1.  Lean over and lick the PIN pad thing on the counter.

2.  Use one of the rebel flag lighters in that rack thing to light my ball-fro on fire.

3.  See how much coffee I can drink...right from the tap.

4.  Bash my head through the scratch-off ticket glass on the counter.

Any of these sound awesome...?  No.  They don't.

Well, neither does asking the clerk for a can of dip.  I won't do it.  Not today.

And the reason I won't is related to the reason I fucked up before.

I won't because I'm here. 

And I fucked up because I wasn't.

Let that be a lesson, bitches.  I learned it the hard way.

Day 6 does suck and its these times you wrote that will remind all of us of our promise!

Like it or not, you have a gift, reading how your struggling will remind everyone here what not to do. 'zombie' I am amazed by the way you can sum up not only how you feel right now but how everyone feels when they are at those early stages and to some extent the later down the way craves that sneak up on ya!


One day at a time brother, one day at a time.

SWJ and I seem to have something in common (yes, I am reaching here. Bear with me); those of you who have been paying attention for the paltry 31 days I have been roaming these hallways may have noticed it as well. I have a disproportionate store of anger reserved for convenience store clerks, the agents who have been the physical enablers of my addiction. And yes, in my case, a particular distaste for the Indian ones, the guys who wore Polo shirts and didn't know the difference between pouches, fine, and long cut, let alone flavors. By the time I finally navigated Suresh to the correct tin, a queue of 5 or 6 impatient white-trash folks had always built up behind me, fully engaged in my tobacco selection and navigation process, and I ultimately felt like a complete fucking idiot.

No more. The white trash folks can move quicker to the register with their Keystone Light and endless lottery purchases. Ramdeep can forget the difference between Classic and Wintergreen. And I can drive the fuck on by, every time.

Just for shits, maybe I'll drop in and lick the pin pad like SWJ suggests. If you think about it, as nasty as that sounds, it's probably a better use of your oral facilities than stuffing the unspecified components contained in a dip in your mouth.

--Russ

[dippshit]

Dang. 

As it turns out, I fucking hate Day 6.

I spent some time this morning looking through the Words Of Wisdom and have set aside some time later this afternoon to kick my own ass.

Reading my posts from before make me feel like complete shit.

I should have paid attention.  I should have listened. 

I should have stayed accountable.

Now I'm back here.  In the basement. 

Typing shit randomly to keep my mind off chew, like a Grade-A fucktard.

If I could challenge myself to a fight in the parking lot after work, I assure you, I would wreck my own shit. 

Just for being a dumbass.

I must have passed like a zillion convenience stores today.

I swear they're multiplying. 

At one point this morning, I thought I could actually taste wintergreen in my pie-hole.

Then I thought of a couple of things...

First, I've proven that I can let people down once, but it would really suck to do it twice.

Second, I really want to give my wife the gift of 150 Days Quit on our anniversary this year.

And third, I tried to come up with some things that would be appropriate alternatives to me asking the convenience store clerk for a can of dip...

1.  Lean over and lick the PIN pad thing on the counter.

2.  Use one of the rebel flag lighters in that rack thing to light my ball-fro on fire.

3.  See how much coffee I can drink...right from the tap.

4.  Bash my head through the scratch-off ticket glass on the counter.

Any of these sound awesome...?  No.  They don't.

Well, neither does asking the clerk for a can of dip.  I won't do it.  Not today.

And the reason I won't is related to the reason I fucked up before.

I won't because I'm here. 

And I fucked up because I wasn't.

Let that be a lesson, bitches.  I learned it the hard way.

Day 6 does suck and its these times you wrote that will remind all of us of our promise!

Like it or not, you have a gift, reading how your struggling will remind everyone here what not to do. 'zombie' I am amazed by the way you can sum up not only how you feel right now but how everyone feels when they are at those early stages and to some extent the later down the way craves that sneak up on ya!


One day at a time brother, one day at a time.

I love how you sneak a 'zombie' in there without skipping a beat. 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'

[Tabasco]

Dang. 

As it turns out, I fucking hate Day 6.

I spent some time this morning looking through the Words Of Wisdom and have set aside some time later this afternoon to kick my own ass.

Reading my posts from before make me feel like complete shit.

I should have paid attention.  I should have listened. 

I should have stayed accountable.

Now I'm back here.  In the basement. 

Typing shit randomly to keep my mind off chew, like a Grade-A fucktard.

If I could challenge myself to a fight in the parking lot after work, I assure you, I would wreck my own shit. 

Just for being a dumbass.

I must have passed like a zillion convenience stores today.

I swear they're multiplying. 

At one point this morning, I thought I could actually taste wintergreen in my pie-hole.

Then I thought of a couple of things...

First, I've proven that I can let people down once, but it would really suck to do it twice.

Second, I really want to give my wife the gift of 150 Days Quit on our anniversary this year.

And third, I tried to come up with some things that would be appropriate alternatives to me asking the convenience store clerk for a can of dip...

1.  Lean over and lick the PIN pad thing on the counter.

2.  Use one of the rebel flag lighters in that rack thing to light my ball-fro on fire.

3.  See how much coffee I can drink...right from the tap.

4.  Bash my head through the scratch-off ticket glass on the counter.

Any of these sound awesome...?  No.  They don't.

Well, neither does asking the clerk for a can of dip.  I won't do it.  Not today.

And the reason I won't is related to the reason I fucked up before.

I won't because I'm here. 

And I fucked up because I wasn't.

Let that be a lesson, bitches.  I learned it the hard way.

Day 6 does suck and its these times you wrote that will remind all of us of our promise!

Like it or not, you have a gift, reading how your struggling will remind everyone here what not to do. 'zombie' I am amazed by the way you can sum up not only how you feel right now but how everyone feels when they are at those early stages and to some extent the later down the way craves that sneak up on ya!


One day at a time brother, one day at a time.

I'm on day 755 and rolled in here because I had a small fleeting crave today. I figured proactive visits like this have worked the past couple of years so no reason to break the streak now right?

I thought a quick visit might help and it did.

Welcome back bro, see you tomorrow then eh?

[Grizzly25]

Dang.

As it turns out, I fucking hate Day 6.

I spent some time this morning looking through the Words Of Wisdom and have set aside some time later this afternoon to kick my own ass.

Reading my posts from before make me feel like complete shit.

I should have paid attention. I should have listened.

I should have stayed accountable.

Now I'm back here. In the basement.

Typing shit randomly to keep my mind off chew, like a Grade-A fucktard.

If I could challenge myself to a fight in the parking lot after work, I assure you, I would wreck my own shit.

Just for being a dumbass.

I must have passed like a zillion convenience stores today.

I swear they're multiplying.

At one point this morning, I thought I could actually taste wintergreen in my pie-hole.

Then I thought of a couple of things...

First, I've proven that I can let people down once, but it would really suck to do it twice.

Second, I really want to give my wife the gift of 150 Days Quit on our anniversary this year.

And third, I tried to come up with some things that would be appropriate alternatives to me asking the convenience store clerk for a can of dip...

1. Lean over and lick the PIN pad thing on the counter.

2. Use one of the rebel flag lighters in that rack thing to light my ball-fro on fire.

3. See how much coffee I can drink...right from the tap.

4. Bash my head through the scratch-off ticket glass on the counter.

Any of these sound awesome...? No. They don't.

Well, neither does asking the clerk for a can of dip. I won't do it. Not today.

And the reason I won't is related to the reason I fucked up before.

I won't because I'm here.

And I fucked up because I wasn't.

Let that be a lesson, bitches. I learned it the hard way.

Day 6 does suck and its these times you wrote that will remind all of us of our promise!

Like it or not, you have a gift, reading how your struggling will remind everyone here what not to do. 'zombie' I am amazed by the way you can sum up not only how you feel right now but how everyone feels when they are at those early stages and to some extent the later down the way craves that sneak up on ya!


One day at a time brother, one day at a time.

[SWJ]

Dang.

As it turns out, I fucking hate Day 6.

I spent some time this morning looking through the Words Of Wisdom and have set aside some time later this afternoon to kick my own ass.

Reading my posts from before make me feel like complete shit.

I should have paid attention. I should have listened.

I should have stayed accountable.

Now I'm back here. In the basement.

Typing shit randomly to keep my mind off chew, like a Grade-A fucktard.

If I could challenge myself to a fight in the parking lot after work, I assure you, I would wreck my own shit.

Just for being a dumbass.

I must have passed like a zillion convenience stores today.

I swear they're multiplying.

At one point this morning, I thought I could actually taste wintergreen in my pie-hole.

Then I thought of a couple of things...

First, I've proven that I can let people down once, but it would really suck to do it twice.

Second, I really want to give my wife the gift of 150 Days Quit on our anniversary this year.

And third, I tried to come up with some things that would be appropriate alternatives to me asking the convenience store clerk for a can of dip...

1. Lean over and lick the PIN pad thing on the counter.

2. Use one of the rebel flag lighters in that rack thing to light my ball-fro on fire.

3. See how much coffee I can drink...right from the tap.

4. Bash my head through the scratch-off ticket glass on the counter.

Any of these sound awesome...? No. They don't.

Well, neither does asking the clerk for a can of dip. I won't do it. Not today.

And the reason I won't is related to the reason I fucked up before.

I won't because I'm here.

And I fucked up because I wasn't.

Let that be a lesson, bitches. I learned it the hard way.

[Sioux]

The beauty of KTC is that you can pretty much say whatever the fuck you want.

There's only one requirement, you make your daily promise, and you stay QUIT.

You may display your badassery and awesomeness all you want.

But it don't mean shit if you're not maintaining your QUIT.

Glad you're back and that you've owned your cave, I'm quit with you today.

We Quit Like Fuck.

In that case I can say that 40 is gay.


WOW that felt good.


B)

[Grizzly25]

Also, to hell with the pissy, funny stories of the past -- the 'fro in the avatar absolutely rocks.

I still bring the fro-licious thunder.

Your avatar has this Egon from Ghostbusters thing going on that even just looking at it makes me laugh my ass off!

Good to the the fro-licious thunder comming back!!!!

It will help everyone including yourself.