SRains918

[wildirish317]

This came up in our quit group today and I didn't want to lose it. GREAT info!!!

Nice
Now that we got that all cleared up.
Answer the three questions.

....

The Three Questions

and

Answering the three questions - Reprise

These links might help you understand what we're asking.

While you're reading those, feel free to read the rest of my intro. Like you, I am documenting my quit with an "Intro-journal".

It's therapeutic and will also help those close to you at KTC.

[SRains918]

This came up in our quit group today and I didn't want to lose it. GREAT info!!!

Nice
Now that we got that all cleared up.
Answer the three questions.

....

The Three Questions

and

Answering the three questions - Reprise

These links might help you understand what we're asking.

[SRains918]

Day 21. Three fucking weeks!!! Damn, it feels good to say that.

The cravings aren't as bad as they were. Still there obviously along with a LOT of the normal things people go through at this point. Gotta love all the "What to expect" info on KTC. It makes me feel as "normal" as possible I guess.

Weirdest thing to happen in the last few days was that I reached for a can (that didn't exist) after I finished eating lunch at my desk one day. Bent over and started opening my laptop bag before I realized what I was doing. The crazy thing is that I wasn't even CRAVING, it's just such a habit that I did it instinctively. That's the only time I've reached for a can that wasn't there over the last few weeks, so I guess I'm doing pretty well as far as that goes.

I'm starting to try to be more active in my quit group. I honestly believe that it's going to help make my own personal quit stronger, and I feel like it's time to start helping the newer newbies while all this crap is still fresh in my mind. Not that I'm ever going to forget it... I also appreciate everything the vets on this site have done for me, and I want to give back as much as I can. I see this (KTC) as something that takes up a fair portion of my time going forward, although I AM probably going to have to get some actual work done at some point.

Day 21 (And Counting). I quit with you today!

[SRains918]

Day 18 - Made it through my third nicotine free weekend! The first one I can honestly say I don't really remember. Last weekend was tough simply because of all of the real nicotine free "firsts" that were bigger triggers than I expected. Weeding, mowing, trimming bushes... It seems crazy that these were things that triggered cravings. This weekend was far better, although there were still a few that were really intense. I think I can chalk part of that up to trying to wean myself off of sunflower seeds over the weekend. Big mistake, even though I tried substituting hard candies in their place. Stopped for more seeds on my way to work this morning and ditched the candy for now...

I have felt much better the last few days. I'm not really sure whether or not my sleep patterns are still off because my allergies kicked in and I've started on Benadryl before bed so I can breathe all night... Either way, I've slept well for the last few days.

I know I'm only 18 days in, but I have yet to miss a roll post since my first (I think day 4 or 5). If you've stumbled across this while thinking it's time to quit (or I'm rereading so I can remember what I went through) - Posting roll daily makes all the difference. Don't miss a day. For any reason. Ever. Make that daily promise and then keep it. Thinking about quitting dip forever is incredibly daunting and will send you into a panic attack (at least it does for me). Quitting one day at a time? That's comparatively easy. Just make that promise every fucking day and keep it.

Support from people on KTC has been incredible and I have singled a few people out in previous posts and thanked them. I need to acknowledge two people at home though... My S/O Patty (who I have also thanked before) has been so incredibly supportive of this quit. She has done at LEAST as much research as I have and I can honestly say she's been one step ahead of me so far. The second one is my son. It occurred to me the other day that he has never had a father that wasn't hopped up on nicotine (other than a year or so that I'm sure he doesn't remember). Seeing how happy he is that I've been quit even for this short period of time really feels good.

I have posted roll today and made my promise. Have you?

[Dundippin]

Srains,

Congratulations on your quit and your succcess thus far and welcome to the group.

As you know, the main way to be successful is to just decide that you have quit. Once you stop the negotiating in your head as to whether you will do one more or not the rest becomes far more simple.

Next, you will learn to distract your attention from your desire for a dip to anything else that interests you. This ability to change your focus will guarantee your success and make your quit that much easier.

When you place a dip in your mouth, your brain releases sugars. Well, those sugars are now going to be gone.

However, you can replace them with OJ or other fruit juices with sugar. This will provide some comfort, especially in your initial quit days.

Make sure to exercise with weights and cardio when you feel that nagging tension in your muscles, you feel that rage, when you can not sleep and when you can not focus. Exercise really helps.

Here is one that most people overlook. Get at least 3 square meals a day. Hunger can really bring on those urges so squash those urges before they come. Eat full healthy meals and do not let yourself get excessively hungry. You will see this helps a great deal.

I waited until I was 59 quit after using tobacco for 40 years. You are wise to quit now.

I quit with you today.

Dundippin day 760

[BrianG]

Yep srains, one day at a time. You are doing great. hopefully you are starting to experience some good days. The roller coaster of emotions is very real. I did that crap for 35 years and it is amazing how much of a pull it can have on you after such a period of time.

Proud to quit with you!!

[SRains918]

Day 14 - I made it two weeks!!! Next goal: three weeks quit.

You know what? That's not true. I'm at 14 and I've posted roll for today. The next goal is day 15. Then day 16. Then day 17...

I already knew in the back of my mind that once I got past the first few days things were going to be up and down for quite a while. This isn't my first quit. It's my first quit with KTC though. Posting roll, texting other quitters daily for support, accountability. These are the things that make this quit different for me.

If I'm honest, day 13 was my toughest so far. Not the physical cravings or the fogginess or any of the actual physical things associated with quitting. Yesterday was the first real "mental" hurdle day for me. Stress at work, crap in my personal life, everything seemed to just come to a head all at once. I heard the whispers of the nicotine bitch in the back of my mind. Any other quit in the past, this is where I would have caved. I didn't. Part of that was my personal commitment to this quit. Part of that was my promise to KTC via roll that I wouldn't use nicotine. Part of that was because I woke up yesterday and texted FishFlorida and JeffW and INKcogKNEEdough and promised THEM PERSONALLY that I wouldn't. Accountability. I kept my word.

Today is Day 14. I will NOT use nicotine today. I have made my promise. I will keep my word. I will make the exact same promise as soon as I get up tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. I will WUPPEDD, and I will stay quit one day at a time.

[SRains918]

Day 11 - I made double digits!!! Next goal: two weeks quit.

I probably won't post as much on weekends but I will get on and post roll (I did this past weekend). I live on my laptop for work and try to keep my weekends as "electronics free" as possible. Hopefully I'll get to the point that I'm comfortable posting from my phone and I can go back to leaving my laptop in the bag over the weekend. I'll do what I have to do to post roll EVERY DAMN DAY!!!

It sucked seeing JTack drop out. He got about to where I am now and I haven't seen him back yet for a new "Day 1". It sucked seeing a Day 1 post from the Colonel after him having quit for so long. Both of those were very sobering to me, and neither was particularly surprising. I don't mean that I wasn't surprised because of them personally. I don't know either one. I mean that it's not particularly surprising to see someone drop out within a couple of weeks, or even after a year or more. I've done both in the past. Like probably everyone on KTC I've got more "two week quits" than I can count, and one that I caved after more than a year (probably closer to a year and a half).

So, why should things be different for me this time around? I've shown in the past that I can't do this. Honestly, KTC. That's what's different for me this time. As ridiculous as it may sound to someone thinking about quitting, a simple fucking promise to a bunch of strangers every morning posting roll is enough to make me think twice. FishFlorida and JeffW are getting texts from me first thing every morning with my Day # and that same promise. Accountability. That's the difference for me this time.

Having made it through Day 10, most of the worst physical parts are done. I'm still not sleeping worth a damn, but I expected that. I'm taking naps and going to bed earlier (who knew as kids that we'd appreciate naps and spankings later in life ;) ). It's not ideal but even though I wake up a lot, when you add it all up I'm probably sleeping enough. I had my first ever "dip dream" over the weekend. That was weird. I honestly thought whoever posted that was full of crap because I'd never experienced it before. Well, now I can tell you that it's a real thing. I still have cravings several times a day, some pretty intense, but I've been able to power through them all with sunflower seeds and finding distractions. They pass pretty quickly for the most part, although for some reason I'm freaking useless and really craving between about 5:00p-6:00p daily. If someone gets a text because I need support, it's going to be that time of day. I have no idea why that time is bad for me (I'm normally in a place I wouldn't have been dipping anyway) right now, but it is. For now, I'm just going to make sure I'm not in a place where I even CAN buy crap during that time to minimize the temptation.

I'm proud of the Jan '18 Ball Droppers. This is the worst part. The first few weeks and the first 100 days. We can do this together with help from past quitters. Post roll EDD. Text or call someone BEFORE you buy a can and cave. PM me for my number if you don't have enough support already. I'm happy to talk you down off the cliff and to have you do that for me when I need it.

[SRains918]

Today is Day 8 - I have posted roll and promise to remain nic free today. It's funny how simple yet incredibly powerful that is to do.

Day 7 was much, much easier in terms of the cravings and the mood swings. The hardest part was staying focused and staying awake at work because I haven't been sleeping as well as I normally do. I did sleep better last night, so I'm hopeful that I'll be a little more alert today. I did find myself standing at a counter looking at the dip rack last night (we were in the store for something completely unrelated to that, but they always seem to have the dip right there behind the register). I excused myself and left my S/O to purchase what she needed and walked outside. I wasn't tempted to buy, but didn't want to stand there and tempt fate either. I think if it had been a couple of days ago I'd be here trying to explain why I was an idiot and starting my count over. Yesterday, no problem.


I found this a while back and thought it was appropriate for here. I'm not sure where it came from originally, so I can't give it proper credit:

An addict fell in a hole and couldn't get out. A businessman went by. The addict called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him to buy a ladder, but the addict could not find a ladder in this hole he was in. A doctor walked by. The addict said, "Help, I can't get out." The doctor gave him some drugs and said, "Take this, it will relieve the pain." The addict said thanks, but when the pills ran out he was still in the hole. A renowned psychiatrist rode by and heard the addict's cries for help. He stopped and said, "How did you get in there? Were you born there? Did your parents put you there? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness." So the addict talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he'd be back next week. The addict thanked him, but was still in his hole. A priest came by and heard the addict calling for help. The priest gave him a Bible and said, "I'll pray for you." The priest got down on his knees and prayed for the addict, then left. The addict was very grateful and he read the whole Bible, but he was still stuck in that hole. A recovering addict happened to be passing by. The addict cried out, "Hey, help me, I'm stuck in this hole." Right away, the recovering addict jumped in the hole with him. The addict said, "What are you doing? Now we're both stuck here!" But the recovering addict said, "It's okay. I've been here before. I know the way out."
- Anonymous


I'm proud to quit with you all today. Thank you to those that have jumped down into this hole with me!!!

[Jeff W]

SRAINS if you do every single thing you just laid out in that post then you will be successful! Post Roll EDD, Post Roll EDD, Post Roll EDD! I cannot stress this enough. Digits sent

[SRains918]

A few people have pointed out that I'd been "counting" wrong and shorting myself a day because I wasn't counting the first day I actually quit. I'm sure most people outside KTC don't give a rats ass, but to this 30+ year addict day 7 sounds a hell of a lot better than day 6 for some reason so I'm gonna take it!

Thank you to all that have reached out so far. I want to apologize for what I'm sure have been some incoherent rambling replies. I'm happy to exchange digits with anyone, and especially encourage those in my Jan18 Quit Group to hit me up if I miss you over the next few days. I'm doing my best to figure out the ins and outs of the site (while pretending to work), but have been having a tough time focusing on anything for too long as I know you've all been through (or are going through).

I'm going to document my journey through this intro feed at least every few days (probably more often in the beginning). I think being able to go back and look at what I've been through so far will help me when I have rough days down the road.

I'm going to post my roll call daily. No excuses. One thing that has been mentioned to me repeatedly is accountability, and I already see the benefits of that. Quit one habit, start a new one (roll call). That seems like a fair trade.

I'm going to send my digits to everyone in my quit group. More accountability. Quit as a group. Support each other. Talk each other down when necessary.

I'm going to keep reading as much as I can on here; Your stories and your journey. It helps so much to read something and realize the crap I'm dealing with is normal for the day range of my quit and that I'm not alone and that it is possible to beat this daily.

I'm open to any other suggestions or ideas or resources!!!


My Day 6 yesterday started out great! Mornings have been tough for me; that first dip always came almost as soon as I opened my eyes. Oddly enough, this has been the easiest one to avoid so far. As long as I don't buy a can of shit the day before, I don't have a can in the morning to be tempted by. Yesterday (and today) have been the first two days it really hasn't bothered me in the morning. I was more social at work yesterday. Pretty much everyone knows I've quit and they've been incredibly supportive. I'm able to keep to myself at work when I need to and that's really helped because I can just walk away and compose myself when the tension gets to be too much. For the most part yesterday was a good day until I went grocery shopping with my S/O, and then panic set in. Stupid things that set me off. Too many people. Not knowing what was on our list so I didn't know where to go. We started on the wrong side and didn't do the store in the right order. We went down aisles, moved on, and realized we needed other things down that aisle and had to go back. Stupid. Meaningless. Shit. Fortunately she was incredibly patient with me and helped ease me through it. By the time we got home I could feel the stress leaving my body and the rest of the night was fairly uneventful. I don't remember the fog from my first quit (well, I guess that was a one year "stop" and not a quit), but it's a bigger part of this quit so far than almost anything else. I can't focus. I'm easily distracted. I find myself staring off into space and wonder how long I've been doing that. Walking helps a lot. I'm normally desk bound, so I've tried to make myself get up and walk around to help clear my head a little.

Today is day 7. I am quit today, so tomorrow I can add a day to that number. Right now my first goal is 10. Baby steps.

Thank you all for your support and encouragement!!!

[RDB]

Welcome.

The formula is simple - Post your promise. Keep your promise. Repeat daily. The freedom is worth the price.

[FISHFLORIDA]

I'm Steve, and my last dip was Friday 9/29/17. I have been nicotine free since.

I have been dipping for far longer than I care to admit (30 out of the last 31 years). I quit for over a year 8 years ago, but caved. If I had known about this site and had these kinds of resources I think I would have been able to get the help I needed then to stay quit. I'm glad that I've found it now and will be on here daily checking in, encouraging others, and looking for help when I need it. I have been trying to read and research through the fog and the moods and the lack of focus over the past couple days and have already found incredible stories and have seen how supportive everyone is of each other. It's amazing how dead accurate the list of symptoms is for me so far, and I appreciate that as a resource to know what to expect in the future.

I joined my quit group and added my name to roll call. Thank you to everyone that has encouraged me so far!!!

Today has been my best day so far, but I can feel the "fog" rolling in. Hopefully it didn't cause me to ramble too much!

Welcome Steve and congrats on making the best decision of your life. A couple of things yer' gonna' need ta' know.. Exchanging digits is part of the accountability part of this site. Don't be scared, your fellow quitter nor anyone else want to stalk you. We're quite sure you've got skid marks and a drawer in your house that we don't want to know about. What we do want is you commitment to quit every day by posting your day quit number and your promise not to use nicotine. The phone numbers of fellow quitters in your month (as well as some other vets) are your lifeline to quit. More than once have I called a fellow quitter in my early month when I thought I couldn't take it. They talked me down and got me through the suck. I too dipped for just over 30 years with one year in between. If this sorry bastard can do it, so can you. Digits are in you inbox (located in the upper right hand of your screen)

[SRains918]

I'm Steve, and my last dip was Friday 9/29/17. I have been nicotine free since.

I have been dipping for far longer than I care to admit (30 out of the last 31 years). I quit for over a year 8 years ago, but caved. If I had known about this site and had these kinds of resources I think I would have been able to get the help I needed then to stay quit. I'm glad that I've found it now and will be on here daily checking in, encouraging others, and looking for help when I need it. I have been trying to read and research through the fog and the moods and the lack of focus over the past couple days and have already found incredible stories and have seen how supportive everyone is of each other. It's amazing how dead accurate the list of symptoms is for me so far, and I appreciate that as a resource to know what to expect in the future.

I joined my quit group and added my name to roll call. Thank you to everyone that has encouraged me so far!!!

Today has been my best day so far, but I can feel the "fog" rolling in. Hopefully it didn't cause me to ramble too much!

[Broccoli-saurus]

501

Holy shit. Half a fucking comma. A half dangle. 5 fucking hundred. I've spent the last 16 or 17 months in awe of and congratulating people that have made it to this point in their quit. It's truly one hell of an accomplishment!


Except that I know it really isn't for me. See, I made it about a year and a half on my own once. That was "pre-KTC". My personal high water mark in my mind is roughly 548 days. While I know in my heart and soul that this quit is different, there's that nagging part in the back of my mind that keeps saying "You've made it farther and caved. You haven't proven SHIT yet". And that voice is right. I'm not in uncharted territory for me for another 48 days or so. I made it farther than this and did the unthinkable. I know I'm not cured now.

What I DO know is that this quit IS different. When I made it this far before I was on my own. I had forgotten by now what it was like to stuff that shit in my face. I had forgotten virtually everything, at least consciously, about what that poison did to my body. I never even had a second thought that I can remember when I stopped and picked up that first can again. All I knew is that my life at the time was going to shit, and stuffing that crap back into my face was going to be what helped me get through it. At that point in my life I didn't really understand that I was an addict. I didn't recognize the lie for what it was when it happened. I hadn't burned my boats. I hadn't torched those bridges. I didn't have a support system. I had stopped because I wanted to, but there wasn't anything preventing me from starting back up except for me not wanting to dip. Until I did want to.


KTC has given me the tools that I need to be free from those horrible chains of addiction. It has given me some of my closest friends. It has brought me together with my January FURY brothers and sisters (to conquer this together), as well as folks from older groups (so I know what's coming) and newer groups (to remind me where I've been). The people I text with, talk to, and have and will meet are not just random internet strangers. They are my family. They are the people that know me better than most others. They give me strength and inspire me to continue this journey.

Thank you. All of you. I can honestly say that I would not have made it this far without you, and I am proud as FUCK to be quit with you each and every day!

Day 549 won't be a day of celebration for me. It's just another day of quit. Except that it's not...

Keep killing it brother!

Sorry I missed your 500 on here, but really doesn't matter.  ODAAT adds up, fuck the milestones, you're quit and I'm so glad to be quit with you bro!  Thanks for all you do around here to build yourself and others!