Day 1...again

[dunwit]

Day 50...I wish I could sit here and say..."wow, 1/2 way to HOF and things are amazing!". When looking back, the first 10 days were hell on earth...but I got through. Days 11 to 20 felt like hell with much less heat. Days 20 through 40 were a breeze...honestly, there were many days in there where I never thought about dip or nicotine...sincerely. I felt great and I never even thought about it and when I did...my brain quickly said, no way dude! And that was that.

Now today at day 50, I can tell you the last 5 days have been as hard as days 6-10. I have had horrible and multiple craves. I don't know what it is...the weather, my mood, the fact I am this far along and my body knows I mean business? Not sure, but I want to at least document it here and thank all of you for your continued support.

If this was the case for any of you vets, it would be good to know..

Sounds about right. Stay pissed and keep up the battle. Bad days come and go for quite a while it seems, it does get easier for sure.

[CBus50]

Day 50...I wish I could sit here and say..."wow, 1/2 way to HOF and things are amazing!". When looking back, the first 10 days were hell on earth...but I got through. Days 11 to 20 felt like hell with much less heat. Days 20 through 40 were a breeze...honestly, there were many days in there where I never thought about dip or nicotine...sincerely. I felt great and I never even thought about it and when I did...my brain quickly said, no way dude! And that was that.

Now today at day 50, I can tell you the last 5 days have been as hard as days 6-10. I have had horrible and multiple craves. I don't know what it is...the weather, my mood, the fact I am this far along and my body knows I mean business? Not sure, but I want to at least document it here and thank all of you for your continued support.

If this was the case for any of you vets, it would be good to know..

[mb289]

Way to quit, CBus!

mb289

[kayakdude]

Cbus...I felt just like you...

Day 10 seems like such a huge milestone.

Next thing I knew I was on Day 36...and so will you be in no time.

Every day gets better.

[Doc Chewfree]

Walked right into the Lion's Den last night.  It is a move many of you vets would have warned against.  The Tuesday before the NCAA tourney for the last 20 years, me and my college friends meet up at a bar and draft teams for a pool.  I look forward to this night because it is the only time I see some of these guys all year.  I didn't want to miss this night but I knew going in it was going to be a test.

There are individuals in this group that chew/dip and I knew this going in.  Upon arrival I informed them that I was quit and please not to offer it to me and if I lost my mind and asked, please don't give it to me.

I have to admit, it was tough to watch...but the urge was not overwhelming.  This site has proven its worth.  Although there was an urge, no doubt, the thought of letting guys down that quit with me yesterday was stronger.  Perhaps the non-stop cave stories coming through lately and the day 1 re-post were in my mind, but I am proud I did not cave.  Even better, I am proud of how easy it was compared to the past quits.  I did not allow myself to drink alcohol which helped.  Most importantly, I want to thank all of you that supported me in my first 10 days...that is what rose above and let me go on first thing this morning and post day 10, not day 1.

Excellent! And it keeps getting better

Way to go Cbus.
Another obstacle conquered.
Quit with you.

[Sh4string]

Walked right into the Lion's Den last night. It is a move many of you vets would have warned against. The Tuesday before the NCAA tourney for the last 20 years, me and my college friends meet up at a bar and draft teams for a pool. I look forward to this night because it is the only time I see some of these guys all year. I didn't want to miss this night but I knew going in it was going to be a test.

There are individuals in this group that chew/dip and I knew this going in. Upon arrival I informed them that I was quit and please not to offer it to me and if I lost my mind and asked, please don't give it to me.

I have to admit, it was tough to watch...but the urge was not overwhelming. This site has proven its worth. Although there was an urge, no doubt, the thought of letting guys down that quit with me yesterday was stronger. Perhaps the non-stop cave stories coming through lately and the day 1 re-post were in my mind, but I am proud I did not cave. Even better, I am proud of how easy it was compared to the past quits. I did not allow myself to drink alcohol which helped. Most importantly, I want to thank all of you that supported me in my first 10 days...that is what rose above and let me go on first thing this morning and post day 10, not day 1.

Excellent! And it keeps getting better

[CBus50]

Walked right into the Lion's Den last night. It is a move many of you vets would have warned against. The Tuesday before the NCAA tourney for the last 20 years, me and my college friends meet up at a bar and draft teams for a pool. I look forward to this night because it is the only time I see some of these guys all year. I didn't want to miss this night but I knew going in it was going to be a test.

There are individuals in this group that chew/dip and I knew this going in. Upon arrival I informed them that I was quit and please not to offer it to me and if I lost my mind and asked, please don't give it to me.

I have to admit, it was tough to watch...but the urge was not overwhelming. This site has proven its worth. Although there was an urge, no doubt, the thought of letting guys down that quit with me yesterday was stronger. Perhaps the non-stop cave stories coming through lately and the day 1 re-post were in my mind, but I am proud I did not cave. Even better, I am proud of how easy it was compared to the past quits. I did not allow myself to drink alcohol which helped. Most importantly, I want to thank all of you that supported me in my first 10 days...that is what rose above and let me go on first thing this morning and post day 10, not day 1.

[MonsterMedic]

Day 8...one week in and boy what a week it has been!   Days 1-3 were horrid but full of excitement as each our represented losing the physical grip nic had on me. 

Days 4-5 were actually easier than I would have thought...some craves...but nothing too overly substantial.

Then the f-ing weekend hit...the weather was breaking in the midwest.   I was off a schedule and driving around town with my daughter.   It was as if all the gas stations were Sirens trying to pull my boat into the rocks.   It was a brutal, brutal weekend and even worse than day 1-3.   I had trouble sleeping, cold sweats, I was so antsy, short tempered and I couldn't concentrate.   I almost felt like I wanted to handcuff myself to something so my brain couldn't talk me into anything.  

For the first time in my life, I'm glad it's Monday and I'm back at work.   Also, I'm glad I have some time before another weekend.  

The best news though is NO CAVE here.   I'm focused on getting through this Monday.

Great job making it through. You are fighting for your life brother, and you are winning the battles. Failure is not an option. I quit with you today.

Great job Cbus!
You can beat this shit! Just keep breaking it into small bits that you can handle. Every little victory you get makes you stronger and the nic bitch weaker.
Proud to quit with you bro!
PM me if you need anything.

Keep fighting, man. We're right beside you.

[Doc Chewfree]

Day 8...one week in and boy what a week it has been!   Days 1-3 were horrid but full of excitement as each our represented losing the physical grip nic had on me. 

Days 4-5 were actually easier than I would have thought...some craves...but nothing too overly substantial.

Then the f-ing weekend hit...the weather was breaking in the midwest.   I was off a schedule and driving around town with my daughter.   It was as if all the gas stations were Sirens trying to pull my boat into the rocks.   It was a brutal, brutal weekend and even worse than day 1-3.   I had trouble sleeping, cold sweats, I was so antsy, short tempered and I couldn't concentrate.   I almost felt like I wanted to handcuff myself to something so my brain couldn't talk me into anything.  

For the first time in my life, I'm glad it's Monday and I'm back at work.   Also, I'm glad I have some time before another weekend.  

The best news though is NO CAVE here.   I'm focused on getting through this Monday.

Great job making it through. You are fighting for your life brother, and you are winning the battles. Failure is not an option. I quit with you today.

Great job Cbus!
You can beat this shit! Just keep breaking it into small bits that you can handle. Every little victory you get makes you stronger and the nic bitch weaker.
Proud to quit with you bro!
PM me if you need anything.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

Day 8...one week in and boy what a week it has been! Days 1-3 were horrid but full of excitement as each our represented losing the physical grip nic had on me.

Days 4-5 were actually easier than I would have thought...some craves...but nothing too overly substantial.

Then the f-ing weekend hit...the weather was breaking in the midwest. I was off a schedule and driving around town with my daughter. It was as if all the gas stations were Sirens trying to pull my boat into the rocks. It was a brutal, brutal weekend and even worse than day 1-3. I had trouble sleeping, cold sweats, I was so antsy, short tempered and I couldn't concentrate. I almost felt like I wanted to handcuff myself to something so my brain couldn't talk me into anything.

For the first time in my life, I'm glad it's Monday and I'm back at work. Also, I'm glad I have some time before another weekend.

The best news though is NO CAVE here. I'm focused on getting through this Monday.

Great job making it through. You are fighting for your life brother, and you are winning the battles. Failure is not an option. I quit with you today.

[CBus50]

Day 8...one week in and boy what a week it has been! Days 1-3 were horrid but full of excitement as each our represented losing the physical grip nic had on me.

Days 4-5 were actually easier than I would have thought...some craves...but nothing too overly substantial.

Then the f-ing weekend hit...the weather was breaking in the midwest. I was off a schedule and driving around town with my daughter. It was as if all the gas stations were Sirens trying to pull my boat into the rocks. It was a brutal, brutal weekend and even worse than day 1-3. I had trouble sleeping, cold sweats, I was so antsy, short tempered and I couldn't concentrate. I almost felt like I wanted to handcuff myself to something so my brain couldn't talk me into anything.

For the first time in my life, I'm glad it's Monday and I'm back at work. Also, I'm glad I have some time before another weekend.

The best news though is NO CAVE here. I'm focused on getting through this Monday.

[Shorthorn]

Thats good stuff Cbus... I quit with you brother!

I, like you, made a promise this time to my youngin's... 2 and 7 year old boys in my case. Made them both promise to kick me in the shins if they ever see me with that crap again.

[Scowick65]

But I explained to her I now understand that I'm an addictÂ….there is no denying that now and I can never, ever have another drop of nicotine in my life.

The day I admitted I was an addict was the day I controlled nicotine instead of nicotine controlling me. It did not make quitting easy, but it did mean that I called all of the shots.

...a big step.

[Sh4string]

One day at a time ....and hell yes be selfish!! I'll quit with you !!

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

Currently on day 2 and going strong.   I would like to sincerely thank all of you that posted here with words of encouragement, incredible advise, and tough love.   I also went into the chat room yesterday and met some amazing individuals.  

On all of your advice, I have done the following.   I have called my family members who do not live locally and informed them of my quit.   I have told my significant other last night of the quit which was incredibly difficult as she was the one who helped me through the last time.   This was a tough conversation as she feels hurt that I've been sneaking around during my relapse.    I understand her feelings and it does hurt me to know that I have failed her.   But I explained to her I now understand that I'm an addict….there is no denying that now and I can never, ever have another drop of nicotine in my life.    Lastly, I had a conversation with my 5 year old daughter who I've never hidden around before and calls it "chewin' tobacca".   I explained to her that the stuff I put in my mouth is bad for me.   I also told her that I love her more than that "stuff" and that I will promise to her to never do it again.   If she ever sees me doing it again, I want her to remind me of my promise to her.   Tears were running down my face as they are now.   

So some of you asked about my plan.  

#1 – I am doing this for me.   I'm selfish.   I want to see my daughter grow up, play in the band/sports, graduate high school/college, get married, have children of her own and be a grandfather someday.   If I get taken out early because of something I could have prevented…I will not only die painfully, but I will do with more guilt and anger than any one should.

#2 – I have made a promise to my daughter.  I did not make this promise during my first quit…probably because in my head I wasn't sure I could follow through.   This time, I know I can.  Thus, I'm willing to promise her…the little girl I've never let down and never will.

#3 – I've printed my contract.   It is powerful.   I have shared this with my SO and family.   If I dip again, I will sign this before doing it and scan and email to all of them.   They are aware of this.   I am aware of this.   It will be a declaration that nicotine is more important than anyone else in my life.  

#4 – I've got some numbers of some amazing people on this site…some even local.   I have put these in my phone and I will call/text them before I cave.  

#5 – I've changed my lifestyle immediately.   I got up this morning and ran on my treadmill.   My middle console in my car is filled with more life savers / jolly ranchers / blow pops than you could imagine.   I actually enjoy my drive.   I drink lots of water all day.   It both keeps the oral fixation satisfied but flushes and makes me feel better.    I pack my lunch.   I don't want to leave work...lunch is a trigger.   I found a lunch group that packs and I have even told them about my situation.   It is now essentially another group of people I am accountable to.  

#6 – I time and track my craves.   I had 5 major and 4 minor ones yesterday on my first day.   None of them lasted for more than 3 minutes.   At worst, that is 27 minutes out of the day.  I can handle that.    I also have things ready to do when they come on…laundry, dishes, walking, pushups…whatever.    The sad thing is I like the craves.   It's weird I know, but as the crave hits, I am visualizing it being the result of strangling that monster inside me around the neck…begging for its lifeblood and I deprive it and it withers away.

So yes…day 2…feeling GREAT!   Looking forward to another day of strangling that beast some more.   Thanks again to all of you amazing people!

CBus you've got this! Keep active and use those numbers you have daily. Build those relationships.

Reading this just gave me quit wood.

I like what you said about being selfish and owning your quit, that is what you have to do to be successful. Lunch was a big trigger for me. I used to avoid going to lunch in groups or group settings because I knew I wouldn't be able to dip. I would prefer to drive and eat somehwere and dip in my car over eating with coworkers. That seems so insane to think about. I have people I eat with at the same time everyday and bring my lunch as well and they are aware of my quit.

Those craves will ease up over time but do not let your shield down. Keep the mentality of fighting and find what works for you to get past them.

The conversation I had with my significant other when about as promising as yours... But we understand what you are going through, post roll and keep your promise for today. Look forward to seeing more of you on here.

You are on the right track brother. This is a great read, and it is great to see that you have such a good understanding of this.

I quit with you today.