3rd time quitter. First time using what I know.

[kubiackalpha]

Post day 50. I honestly didn't even realize that I had made it 50 days +. i am very grateful for every bodies support. The few times people have had to text me I am extremely grateful for. in my previous times of quitting the struggle was daily. However, with this, it has been a relative breeze (Not saying that withdrawals have been fun). This is purely a marking of a milestone for me. Not because I have never made it this far without it. But, I have never been this far in recovery.

Stay vigilante, stay strong, drink water.




Just for today, Self.

[kubiackalpha]

Really at a loss today. Partially because I have to work tomorrow as well. If it holds true to form it might be a month until I do get a day off. My eating schedule is way off. Headaches are back. Sweet Tooth has kicked it up a notch. I have not taken my vitamins today and I can tell. No one knows the damage that that evil shite does to a body until one quits. NEWBIES. I know it sounds horrible. However, do not use this as an excuse to go back. Excuses are like butt holes. Everyone has one and they all stink. Well, using what this post or any other journal entry as an excuse would smell like a jalapeno, bean, cheese, egg infused butthole. So, just don't. Keep quitting. The days that I feel amazing far outweigh the ones I feel horrible.

Keep at it one day at a time brother. You are kicking ass and taking names. The future is bright, but there are some pains in getting here.

Thanks for sharing all of this with us. You'll look back on this soon and shake your head. Nicotine can suck it.

" The days that I feel amazing far outweigh the ones I feel horrible"

Perspectice. You gots it. Keep rolling over this stuff, man. Soon enough it's all just a speck in the rear view mirror. Rock on...

Really at a loss today. Partially because I have to work tomorrow as well. If it holds true to form it might be a month until I do get a day off. My eating schedule is way off. Headaches are back. Sweet Tooth has kicked it up a notch. I have not taken my vitamins today and I can tell. No one knows the damage that that evil shite does to a body until one quits. NEWBIES. I know it sounds horrible. However, do not use this as an excuse to go back. Excuses are like butt holes. Everyone has one and they all stink. Well, using what this post or any other journal entry as an excuse would smell like a jalapeno, bean, cheese, egg infused butthole. So, just don't. Keep quitting. The days that I feel amazing far outweigh the ones I feel horrible.

Keep at it one day at a time brother. You are kicking ass and taking names. The future is bright, but there are some pains in getting here.

Thanks for sharing all of this with us. You'll look back on this soon and shake your head. Nicotine can suck it.

" The days that I feel amazing far outweigh the ones I feel horrible"

Perspectice. You gots it. Keep rolling over this stuff, man. Soon enough it's all just a speck in the rear view mirror. Rock on...




Keep at it Kubiack. The fog wrapped its cloudy tendrils around my brain for months only giving me brief glimpses of the freedom I feel daily now.

CJ

Thanks guys. One day at a time. I couldnt do this if it wasn't for one day at a time. This morning was a minute by minute ordeal. Your Atypical Monday.

This is funny. So, this last week I pulled about 90 hours (just under) and I was so tired by the time I got home that I tried to flush the toilet with the light switch. HAHA! I kept staring at it wondering why the fu(k it isn't going down. LOL! Kept flipping the switch and nothing was happening. I was getting a head ache and was wondering why the lights kept flashing. Oh, geez.

Gotta love the fog! I really did think i had brain damage and life was going to be that way, but still resolved to quit. It lasted a long time for me. Then, eventually things started to get so much better. Seriously, in unimaginable ways. Makes sense i guess, that i couldn't imagine it, because i had spent my adult life a slave to my addiction. Keep at it, this is how you beat it for good!

You have some of the best quitters I know in here supporting you!

This Sundays happenings with the Light Switch was because 90hrs in one week. But, yeah. Totally understand.

[brettlees]

Really at a loss today. Partially because I have to work tomorrow as well. If it holds true to form it might be a month until I do get a day off. My eating schedule is way off. Headaches are back. Sweet Tooth has kicked it up a notch. I have not taken my vitamins today and I can tell. No one knows the damage that that evil shite does to a body until one quits. NEWBIES. I know it sounds horrible. However, do not use this as an excuse to go back. Excuses are like butt holes. Everyone has one and they all stink. Well, using what this post or any other journal entry as an excuse would smell like a jalapeno, bean, cheese, egg infused butthole. So, just don't. Keep quitting. The days that I feel amazing far outweigh the ones I feel horrible.

Keep at it one day at a time brother. You are kicking ass and taking names. The future is bright, but there are some pains in getting here.

Thanks for sharing all of this with us. You'll look back on this soon and shake your head. Nicotine can suck it.

" The days that I feel amazing far outweigh the ones I feel horrible"

Perspectice. You gots it. Keep rolling over this stuff, man. Soon enough it's all just a speck in the rear view mirror. Rock on...

Really at a loss today. Partially because I have to work tomorrow as well. If it holds true to form it might be a month until I do get a day off. My eating schedule is way off. Headaches are back. Sweet Tooth has kicked it up a notch. I have not taken my vitamins today and I can tell. No one knows the damage that that evil shite does to a body until one quits. NEWBIES. I know it sounds horrible. However, do not use this as an excuse to go back. Excuses are like butt holes. Everyone has one and they all stink. Well, using what this post or any other journal entry as an excuse would smell like a jalapeno, bean, cheese, egg infused butthole. So, just don't. Keep quitting. The days that I feel amazing far outweigh the ones I feel horrible.

Keep at it one day at a time brother. You are kicking ass and taking names. The future is bright, but there are some pains in getting here.

Thanks for sharing all of this with us. You'll look back on this soon and shake your head. Nicotine can suck it.

" The days that I feel amazing far outweigh the ones I feel horrible"

Perspectice. You gots it. Keep rolling over this stuff, man. Soon enough it's all just a speck in the rear view mirror. Rock on...




Keep at it Kubiack. The fog wrapped its cloudy tendrils around my brain for months only giving me brief glimpses of the freedom I feel daily now.

CJ

Thanks guys. One day at a time. I couldnt do this if it wasn't for one day at a time. This morning was a minute by minute ordeal. Your Atypical Monday.

This is funny. So, this last week I pulled about 90 hours (just under) and I was so tired by the time I got home that I tried to flush the toilet with the light switch. HAHA! I kept staring at it wondering why the fu(k it isn't going down. LOL! Kept flipping the switch and nothing was happening. I was getting a head ache and was wondering why the lights kept flashing. Oh, geez.

Gotta love the fog! I really did think i had brain damage and life was going to be that way, but still resolved to quit. It lasted a long time for me. Then, eventually things started to get so much better. Seriously, in unimaginable ways. Makes sense i guess, that i couldn't imagine it, because i had spent my adult life a slave to my addiction. Keep at it, this is how you beat it for good!

You have some of the best quitters I know in here supporting you!

[kubiackalpha]

Really at a loss today. Partially because I have to work tomorrow as well. If it holds true to form it might be a month until I do get a day off. My eating schedule is way off. Headaches are back. Sweet Tooth has kicked it up a notch. I have not taken my vitamins today and I can tell. No one knows the damage that that evil shite does to a body until one quits. NEWBIES. I know it sounds horrible. However, do not use this as an excuse to go back. Excuses are like butt holes. Everyone has one and they all stink. Well, using what this post or any other journal entry as an excuse would smell like a jalapeno, bean, cheese, egg infused butthole. So, just don't. Keep quitting. The days that I feel amazing far outweigh the ones I feel horrible.

Keep at it one day at a time brother. You are kicking ass and taking names. The future is bright, but there are some pains in getting here.

Thanks for sharing all of this with us. You'll look back on this soon and shake your head. Nicotine can suck it.

" The days that I feel amazing far outweigh the ones I feel horrible"

Perspectice. You gots it. Keep rolling over this stuff, man. Soon enough it's all just a speck in the rear view mirror. Rock on...

Really at a loss today. Partially because I have to work tomorrow as well. If it holds true to form it might be a month until I do get a day off. My eating schedule is way off. Headaches are back. Sweet Tooth has kicked it up a notch. I have not taken my vitamins today and I can tell. No one knows the damage that that evil shite does to a body until one quits. NEWBIES. I know it sounds horrible. However, do not use this as an excuse to go back. Excuses are like butt holes. Everyone has one and they all stink. Well, using what this post or any other journal entry as an excuse would smell like a jalapeno, bean, cheese, egg infused butthole. So, just don't. Keep quitting. The days that I feel amazing far outweigh the ones I feel horrible.

Keep at it one day at a time brother. You are kicking ass and taking names. The future is bright, but there are some pains in getting here.

Thanks for sharing all of this with us. You'll look back on this soon and shake your head. Nicotine can suck it.

" The days that I feel amazing far outweigh the ones I feel horrible"

Perspectice. You gots it. Keep rolling over this stuff, man. Soon enough it's all just a speck in the rear view mirror. Rock on...




Keep at it Kubiack. The fog wrapped its cloudy tendrils around my brain for months only giving me brief glimpses of the freedom I feel daily now.

CJ

Thanks guys. One day at a time. I couldnt do this if it wasn't for one day at a time. This morning was a minute by minute ordeal. Your Atypical Monday.

This is funny. So, this last week I pulled about 90 hours (just under) and I was so tired by the time I got home that I tried to flush the toilet with the light switch. HAHA! I kept staring at it wondering why the fu(k it isn't going down. LOL! Kept flipping the switch and nothing was happening. I was getting a head ache and was wondering why the lights kept flashing. Oh, geez.

[ChristopherJ]

Keep at it Kubiack. The fog wrapped its cloudy tendrils around my brain for months only giving me brief glimpses of the freedom I feel daily now.

CJ

[AppleJack]

Really at a loss today. Partially because I have to work tomorrow as well. If it holds true to form it might be a month until I do get a day off. My eating schedule is way off. Headaches are back. Sweet Tooth has kicked it up a notch. I have not taken my vitamins today and I can tell. No one knows the damage that that evil shite does to a body until one quits. NEWBIES. I know it sounds horrible. However, do not use this as an excuse to go back. Excuses are like butt holes. Everyone has one and they all stink. Well, using what this post or any other journal entry as an excuse would smell like a jalapeno, bean, cheese, egg infused butthole. So, just don't. Keep quitting. The days that I feel amazing far outweigh the ones I feel horrible.

Keep at it one day at a time brother. You are kicking ass and taking names. The future is bright, but there are some pains in getting here.

Thanks for sharing all of this with us. You'll look back on this soon and shake your head. Nicotine can suck it.

" The days that I feel amazing far outweigh the ones I feel horrible"

Perspectice. You gots it. Keep rolling over this stuff, man. Soon enough it's all just a speck in the rear view mirror. Rock on...

[rdad]

Really at a loss today. Partially because I have to work tomorrow as well. If it holds true to form it might be a month until I do get a day off. My eating schedule is way off. Headaches are back. Sweet Tooth has kicked it up a notch. I have not taken my vitamins today and I can tell. No one knows the damage that that evil shite does to a body until one quits. NEWBIES. I know it sounds horrible. However, do not use this as an excuse to go back. Excuses are like butt holes. Everyone has one and they all stink. Well, using what this post or any other journal entry as an excuse would smell like a jalapeno, bean, cheese, egg infused butthole. So, just don't. Keep quitting. The days that I feel amazing far outweigh the ones I feel horrible.

Keep at it one day at a time brother. You are kicking ass and taking names. The future is bright, but there are some pains in getting here.

Thanks for sharing all of this with us. You'll look back on this soon and shake your head. Nicotine can suck it.

Good thoughts man. Yes there are some tough days on the road to freedom. The further along the path you get the further apart the shitty days get. Good job on venting here in your intro. You are doing good. You are active here and you are winning!

[worktowin]

Really at a loss today. Partially because I have to work tomorrow as well. If it holds true to form it might be a month until I do get a day off. My eating schedule is way off. Headaches are back. Sweet Tooth has kicked it up a notch. I have not taken my vitamins today and I can tell. No one knows the damage that that evil shite does to a body until one quits. NEWBIES. I know it sounds horrible. However, do not use this as an excuse to go back. Excuses are like butt holes. Everyone has one and they all stink. Well, using what this post or any other journal entry as an excuse would smell like a jalapeno, bean, cheese, egg infused butthole. So, just don't. Keep quitting. The days that I feel amazing far outweigh the ones I feel horrible.

Keep at it one day at a time brother. You are kicking ass and taking names. The future is bright, but there are some pains in getting here.

Thanks for sharing all of this with us. You'll look back on this soon and shake your head. Nicotine can suck it.

[kubiackalpha]

Really at a loss today. Partially because I have to work tomorrow as well. If it holds true to form it might be a month until I do get a day off. My eating schedule is way off. Headaches are back. Sweet Tooth has kicked it up a notch. I have not taken my vitamins today and I can tell. No one knows the damage that that evil shite does to a body until one quits. NEWBIES. I know it sounds horrible. However, do not use this as an excuse to go back. Excuses are like butt holes. Everyone has one and they all stink. Well, using what this post or any other journal entry as an excuse would smell like a jalapeno, bean, cheese, egg infused butthole. So, just don't. Keep quitting. The days that I feel amazing far outweigh the ones I feel horrible.

[kubiackalpha]

Lying in the Hospital waiting for the nurse to come do my vitals...yet again. I stumbled upon a re run of Elementary. Love that show. Holmes is in recovery for his drug addiction and attends 12 step meetings for it. He realized that Bill(Founder of AA) had it right even though he was just a common person. Not mental giants or anything. Holmes also discussed what the coin was all about. The coin is plastic representing it can easily be damaged. It is about the size of other coins to it can easily be lost. All of this represents the fragile existence of recovery whether it be alcohol, drugs, tobacco. Just one slip. Like a hole in your pockets that change and 'coins' can fall out that represents your coping skills. A belt to keep your pants up represents the support of you peers. So, you see. Even meetings, in our case posting our promise daily, can represent washing the jeans because we start fresh everyday. The coin, small, fragile is our sobriety. Our pants represents what is around us to maintain our sobriety.

BTW, My Name is Bill is an amazing movie. I highly suggest everyone watch it.

[kubiackalpha]

Eureka moments happen all the time. Sometimes we don't have the where with all to deal with it at that moment. So, here it is. Acceptance. Acceptance is such a great thing. I mean, serenity comes at the craziest times and one of those times is when acceptance happens. It just happened. I accept that some people will not have acceptance. Ha ha ha. Yeah. That is a twister of the ol noggin. The nit picking, the circular logic, the avoidance of topics...all of that. I have to accept that no one will have this same thought process. I have to accept that some people just want to do stupid things. I have to accept a lot of things in my recovery process. I know that some of you will read this and say 'Welp, I am going to accept this guy is an idiot' or some other such words. So, yeah. A wave of calmness just washed over me. I wish I could share this. It is quite a great feeling.

[brettlees]

To show that being there is no set time to recover or that 30 days is it. Here I am at 36 days and I totally forgot what I was going to put here. Another bit of knowledge. Maybe, this is what I was actually supposed to put here. Maybe someone asking if enough is enough is reading through this. My guess is that maybe I need it as well. I know I have said it before just when you don't think you need it is when you need it the most. So much forgetfulness has happened I missed taking my vitamins the past 4 days. Well. Keep the quit on guys and gals. it is worth it. Even with withdrawal still happening for me, I can tell everything is clearer. I feel better except for the massive weight gain, HAHAHAHA. I think two more weeks of this BS sweet tooth and I will diet and start working outisde as much as possible. SO, those of you that gave me your number. I will be texting you. i will be using the support I have gained from being in this group. I know I will be tempted more than previously. I want a healthier life all around. I want, need, have to have. Nothing can stop me. I am on a minute by minute basis kicking that fucking Nic Bitches Ass. Some rounds are tougher than others. Just for today, Self is my Mantra. I am my strength. You all are my support and I am damn proud to be quit with you.


Just for today, Self.

you'll see some of that crazy stuff we have to get through in some of the intro threads here too man. It's really amazing how deep this addiction roots into our minds and subconscious. I had a bad fog about as deep in as you are. I thought for a long time that I had damaged my briain chewing, and had resigned to learn to accept life feeling slightly off. I still have a dip dream now and then, and i'm close to 900 days in. As a great guide to me to explained (Cbird) by the HOF time you should have and know how to use the tools. You still have to build your quit past that. It's ongoing. But it can be fun -- that's an added benefit of building a network. There are all sorts of clowns and whackos here who you'll share this most heroic thing most of us have ever done in common with you. Keep it up! Keep logging, building, and beating back cravings, one by one- forging new neural pathways for a happier life. You wont' believe how amazing it gets- you can't you've never experienced it yet--- but true freedom from the chains is a.maz.ing.

[kubiackalpha]

To show that being there is no set time to recover or that 30 days is it. Here I am at 36 days and I totally forgot what I was going to put here. Another bit of knowledge. Maybe, this is what I was actually supposed to put here. Maybe someone asking if enough is enough is reading through this. My guess is that maybe I need it as well. I know I have said it before just when you don't think you need it is when you need it the most. So much forgetfulness has happened I missed taking my vitamins the past 4 days. Well. Keep the quit on guys and gals. it is worth it. Even with withdrawal still happening for me, I can tell everything is clearer. I feel better except for the massive weight gain, HAHAHAHA. I think two more weeks of this BS sweet tooth and I will diet and start working outisde as much as possible. SO, those of you that gave me your number. I will be texting you. i will be using the support I have gained from being in this group. I know I will be tempted more than previously. I want a healthier life all around. I want, need, have to have. Nothing can stop me. I am on a minute by minute basis kicking that fucking Nic Bitches Ass. Some rounds are tougher than others. Just for today, Self is my Mantra. I am my strength. You all are my support and I am damn proud to be quit with you.


Just for today, Self.

[brettlees]

Recent drama in groups have brought back memories of my days as a counselor. I was remembering when one of my first clients in outpatient used. For me, once they left my tutelage in residential, they were on their own and if they used, they used. Nothing I could do about it (although I had an over 90% success rate). Outpatient, if they used I felt like I failed at my instructional duties. Failed to enforce how important support groups are. Failed at explaining the importance of coping skills. Then, my supervisor told me this, "If they really want to stay clean and sober then they will do what is necessary to remain clean and sober. They wont need to remember what was discussed in group. it will be natural." "They will do whatever it takes to remain clean and sober. Because they will be proud of what they have become. They understand the struggle they have gone through" . Relapse may be part of recovery, but the times you wanted to quit in the past or that time you quit for one hour in the past is your relapse. learn from it.

Fine post. Newbie quitters and drama queens :DQ: pay heed!


Keep up the good work KA! Glad to be quitting daily with you!

[kubiackalpha]

Recent drama in groups have brought back memories of my days as a counselor. I was remembering when one of my first clients in outpatient used. For me, once they left my tutelage in residential, they were on their own and if they used, they used. Nothing I could do about it (although I had an over 90% success rate). Outpatient, if they used I felt like I failed at my instructional duties. Failed to enforce how important support groups are. Failed at explaining the importance of coping skills. Then, my supervisor told me this, "If they really want to stay clean and sober then they will do what is necessary to remain clean and sober. They wont need to remember what was discussed in group. it will be natural." "They will do whatever it takes to remain clean and sober. Because they will be proud of what they have become. They understand the struggle they have gone through" . Relapse may be part of recovery, but the times you wanted to quit in the past or that time you quit for one hour in the past is your relapse. learn from it.