Derk40

[traumagnet]

All I have to say is AWESOME POST QLF w you today and everyday Derk!

[srans]

There is honor amongst quitters.   If there is no honor ... then why are we here?

Think about that.  Do you have what it takes?  

I hit 200 days back on Jan 8th.  I fell asleep on the couch on the 7th, woke up at around 0130... Decided to post roll for day 200 before I went to sleep.  I closed my eyes feeling pretty good about myself.  Little did I know that I would sleep thru the worst dip nightmare imaginable.  You see in this dip dream I had caved and I was sitting with my laptop and began to write out the answers to the 3 questions.   At that point in the dream I picked up my laptop and threw it across the room.  I remember being really  pissed, not knowing what to say to all of you and I just couldn't believe I was back at square 1.  I remember breaking down and sobbing ... and at that moment I woke up. 

For the entire day on the 8th of January I was a mess.  I was walking around mad at the world.   I just hit the 2nd floor but felt light total garbage because of this nightmare.  At some point during the day I finally regrouped and recognized that it was a dream.  I remembered being a kid and having weird dreams that would throw me off a bit... They usually happened when I was sick.  Got me thinking about what a sickness that this addiction is and then realized my brain is still rewiring from the years of abuse.  It was clear to me at that point that the fight is not over.  In fact, this is probably where I actually really learn what I am made off.  The days feel better than when I first quit but any moment of weakness could bring my quit and me to my knees.

There is no caving on this my agenda today.  Over my dead body.    I posted roll this morning and that means something.  My word means something. 

Another thing happened to me that I need to remember. 

I was out of town in NYC on 1/13/2014... Just over a week ago.   I woke up in a mad rush, ran out of the hotel to get to my meeting.   At around noon I got a text from Californiaslim asking me if I was ok.   I couldn't believe it... For the first time since I quit I actually forgot to post roll first thing in the am.  I am thankful to have a guy like that in my corner... I thanked him for looking out for me and went ahead and posted roll.  I have to say that weirded me out for the rest of the day.  I did not know whether I should be happy that for a few hours I had not thought about this addiction and was living my life or should I be ticked off that I was late posting roll on this day.  At home... I have a routine and it works.  So maybe since I was out of town and my routine was broken it is ok to be late for roll.

I've reflected on this for over a week and I am flat out pissed off at myself for letting my guard down that morning.  That is how it starts.   One day you decide you can post later in the day.   Then maybe you decide that it is ok to skip a day.   Then maybe you decide that a week of no posting is ok.   Next thing you know your emptying your wallet out at 7-11 and stuffing your face.  Well, screw that!

KTC has given me back my life and it is all about establishing a routine.  As an addict we have to work our quit Every Day.  That means every damn day!  Your work and routine starts with posting roll.  Posting roll is on par with brushing your teeth.  You wake up and you just flat out do it.  And you do it first thing.  If you ain't gonna do it then why are you here?

So I had a bad dream and was 4 hrs late posting roll.  Maybe not a big deal to many of you but they both got my blood boiling.   You see... I'm a race car and I'm in the red.   You don't mess with a race car in the red.   These 2 post 2nd floor events have me running a little hot these days.   They are fueling my quit.  I have more resolve for my quit right now and there is no way I will go against my word today. 

I am here today to quit.  How bout you?

Great post. I'll go post my roll now.

you my friend have honor in your blood, Even after 574 days if I don't post by noon, I get a strange feeling that I am missing something. I am not sure that is it the actual posting that brings about that feeling or if it is knowing that I have not given my word to the others.

head held high as you absolutely can be proud of what you have accomplished.

'clap'

Damn glad to have you as a friend.

[SirDerek]

There is honor amongst quitters.  If there is no honor ... then why are we here?

Think about that.  Do you have what it takes? 

I hit 200 days back on Jan 8th.  I fell asleep on the couch on the 7th, woke up at around 0130... Decided to post roll for day 200 before I went to sleep.  I closed my eyes feeling pretty good about myself.  Little did I know that I would sleep thru the worst dip nightmare imaginable.  You see in this dip dream I had caved and I was sitting with my laptop and began to write out the answers to the 3 questions.  At that point in the dream I picked up my laptop and threw it across the room.  I remember being really  pissed, not knowing what to say to all of you and I just couldn't believe I was back at square 1.  I remember breaking down and sobbing ... and at that moment I woke up. 

For the entire day on the 8th of January I was a mess.  I was walking around mad at the world.  I just hit the 2nd floor but felt light total garbage because of this nightmare.  At some point during the day I finally regrouped and recognized that it was a dream.  I remembered being a kid and having weird dreams that would throw me off a bit... They usually happened when I was sick.  Got me thinking about what a sickness that this addiction is and then realized my brain is still rewiring from the years of abuse.  It was clear to me at that point that the fight is not over.  In fact, this is probably where I actually really learn what I am made off.  The days feel better than when I first quit but any moment of weakness could bring my quit and me to my knees.

There is no caving on this my agenda today.  Over my dead body.    I posted roll this morning and that means something.  My word means something. 

Another thing happened to me that I need to remember. 

I was out of town in NYC on 1/13/2014... Just over a week ago.  I woke up in a mad rush, ran out of the hotel to get to my meeting.  At around noon I got a text from Californiaslim asking me if I was ok.  I couldn't believe it... For the first time since I quit I actually forgot to post roll first thing in the am.  I am thankful to have a guy like that in my corner... I thanked him for looking out for me and went ahead and posted roll.  I have to say that weirded me out for the rest of the day.  I did not know whether I should be happy that for a few hours I had not thought about this addiction and was living my life or should I be ticked off that I was late posting roll on this day.  At home... I have a routine and it works.  So maybe since I was out of town and my routine was broken it is ok to be late for roll.

I've reflected on this for over a week and I am flat out pissed off at myself for letting my guard down that morning.  That is how it starts.  One day you decide you can post later in the day.  Then maybe you decide that it is ok to skip a day.  Then maybe you decide that a week of no posting is ok.  Next thing you know your emptying your wallet out at 7-11 and stuffing your face.  Well, screw that!

KTC has given me back my life and it is all about establishing a routine.  As an addict we have to work our quit Every Day.  That means every damn day!  Your work and routine starts with posting roll.  Posting roll is on par with brushing your teeth.  You wake up and you just flat out do it.  And you do it first thing.  If you ain't gonna do it then why are you here?

So I had a bad dream and was 4 hrs late posting roll.  Maybe not a big deal to many of you but they both got my blood boiling.  You see... I'm a race car and I'm in the red.  You don't mess with a race car in the red.  These 2 post 2nd floor events have me running a little hot these days.  They are fueling my quit.  I have more resolve for my quit right now and there is no way I will go against my word today. 

I am here today to quit.  How bout you?

Great post. I'll go post my roll now.

you my friend have honor in your blood, Even after 574 days if I don't post by noon, I get a strange feeling that I am missing something. I am not sure that is it the actual posting that brings about that feeling or if it is knowing that I have not given my word to the others.

head held high as you absolutely can be proud of what you have accomplished.

'clap'

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

There is honor amongst quitters. If there is no honor ... then why are we here?

Think about that. Do you have what it takes?

I hit 200 days back on Jan 8th. I fell asleep on the couch on the 7th, woke up at around 0130... Decided to post roll for day 200 before I went to sleep. I closed my eyes feeling pretty good about myself. Little did I know that I would sleep thru the worst dip nightmare imaginable. You see in this dip dream I had caved and I was sitting with my laptop and began to write out the answers to the 3 questions. At that point in the dream I picked up my laptop and threw it across the room. I remember being really pissed, not knowing what to say to all of you and I just couldn't believe I was back at square 1. I remember breaking down and sobbing ... and at that moment I woke up.

For the entire day on the 8th of January I was a mess. I was walking around mad at the world. I just hit the 2nd floor but felt light total garbage because of this nightmare. At some point during the day I finally regrouped and recognized that it was a dream. I remembered being a kid and having weird dreams that would throw me off a bit... They usually happened when I was sick. Got me thinking about what a sickness that this addiction is and then realized my brain is still rewiring from the years of abuse. It was clear to me at that point that the fight is not over. In fact, this is probably where I actually really learn what I am made off. The days feel better than when I first quit but any moment of weakness could bring my quit and me to my knees.

There is no caving on this my agenda today. Over my dead body. I posted roll this morning and that means something. My word means something.

Another thing happened to me that I need to remember.

I was out of town in NYC on 1/13/2014... Just over a week ago. I woke up in a mad rush, ran out of the hotel to get to my meeting. At around noon I got a text from Californiaslim asking me if I was ok. I couldn't believe it... For the first time since I quit I actually forgot to post roll first thing in the am. I am thankful to have a guy like that in my corner... I thanked him for looking out for me and went ahead and posted roll. I have to say that weirded me out for the rest of the day. I did not know whether I should be happy that for a few hours I had not thought about this addiction and was living my life or should I be ticked off that I was late posting roll on this day. At home... I have a routine and it works. So maybe since I was out of town and my routine was broken it is ok to be late for roll.

I've reflected on this for over a week and I am flat out pissed off at myself for letting my guard down that morning. That is how it starts. One day you decide you can post later in the day. Then maybe you decide that it is ok to skip a day. Then maybe you decide that a week of no posting is ok. Next thing you know your emptying your wallet out at 7-11 and stuffing your face. Well, screw that!

KTC has given me back my life and it is all about establishing a routine. As an addict we have to work our quit Every Day. That means every damn day! Your work and routine starts with posting roll. Posting roll is on par with brushing your teeth. You wake up and you just flat out do it. And you do it first thing. If you ain't gonna do it then why are you here?

So I had a bad dream and was 4 hrs late posting roll. Maybe not a big deal to many of you but they both got my blood boiling. You see... I'm a race car and I'm in the red. You don't mess with a race car in the red. These 2 post 2nd floor events have me running a little hot these days. They are fueling my quit. I have more resolve for my quit right now and there is no way I will go against my word today.

I am here today to quit. How bout you?

Great post. I'll go post my roll now.

[Derk40]

There is honor amongst quitters. If there is no honor ... then why are we here?

Think about that. Do you have what it takes?

I hit 200 days back on Jan 8th. I fell asleep on the couch on the 7th, woke up at around 0130... Decided to post roll for day 200 before I went to sleep. I closed my eyes feeling pretty good about myself. Little did I know that I would sleep thru the worst dip nightmare imaginable. You see in this dip dream I had caved and I was sitting with my laptop and began to write out the answers to the 3 questions. At that point in the dream I picked up my laptop and threw it across the room. I remember being really pissed, not knowing what to say to all of you and I just couldn't believe I was back at square 1. I remember breaking down and sobbing ... and at that moment I woke up.

For the entire day on the 8th of January I was a mess. I was walking around mad at the world. I just hit the 2nd floor but felt light total garbage because of this nightmare. At some point during the day I finally regrouped and recognized that it was a dream. I remembered being a kid and having weird dreams that would throw me off a bit... They usually happened when I was sick. Got me thinking about what a sickness that this addiction is and then realized my brain is still rewiring from the years of abuse. It was clear to me at that point that the fight is not over. In fact, this is probably where I actually really learn what I am made off. The days feel better than when I first quit but any moment of weakness could bring my quit and me to my knees.

There is no caving on this my agenda today. Over my dead body. I posted roll this morning and that means something. My word means something.

Another thing happened to me that I need to remember.

I was out of town in NYC on 1/13/2014... Just over a week ago. I woke up in a mad rush, ran out of the hotel to get to my meeting. At around noon I got a text from Californiaslim asking me if I was ok. I couldn't believe it... For the first time since I quit I actually forgot to post roll first thing in the am. I am thankful to have a guy like that in my corner... I thanked him for looking out for me and went ahead and posted roll. I have to say that weirded me out for the rest of the day. I did not know whether I should be happy that for a few hours I had not thought about this addiction and was living my life or should I be ticked off that I was late posting roll on this day. At home... I have a routine and it works. So maybe since I was out of town and my routine was broken it is ok to be late for roll.

I've reflected on this for over a week and I am flat out pissed off at myself for letting my guard down that morning. That is how it starts. One day you decide you can post later in the day. Then maybe you decide that it is ok to skip a day. Then maybe you decide that a week of no posting is ok. Next thing you know your emptying your wallet out at 7-11 and stuffing your face. Well, screw that!

KTC has given me back my life and it is all about establishing a routine. As an addict we have to work our quit Every Day. That means every damn day! Your work and routine starts with posting roll. Posting roll is on par with brushing your teeth. You wake up and you just flat out do it. And you do it first thing. If you ain't gonna do it then why are you here?

So I had a bad dream and was 4 hrs late posting roll. Maybe not a big deal to many of you but they both got my blood boiling. You see... I'm a race car and I'm in the red. You don't mess with a race car in the red. These 2 post 2nd floor events have me running a little hot these days. They are fueling my quit. I have more resolve for my quit right now and there is no way I will go against my word today.

I am here today to quit. How bout you?

[brettlees]

2 - friggin' - hundred!

Well done my brutha! Super proud of you man.

X2 ^^^...

200 days ago you decided to make a decision. Easy to make, but not so easy to execute. Congratulations on hitting a big number today. The first 100 seems impossible, but so worth it... And each new 100 is a learning experience. Take a minute today to look back at where you were. You should be proud.

I couldn't be happier for you Derk. You are what QUIT is all about. Congrats on 200 days brother. You earned it.

Way to go bro this is a nice milestone. Keep up the good, strong work on your quit and support/guidance for others, you're changing lives for the better!

[KC_Guy]

2 - friggin' - hundred!

Well done my brutha! Super proud of you man.

X2 ^^^...

200 days ago you decided to make a decision. Easy to make, but not so easy to execute. Congratulations on hitting a big number today. The first 100 seems impossible, but so worth it... And each new 100 is a learning experience. Take a minute today to look back at where you were. You should be proud.

I couldn't be happier for you Derk. You are what QUIT is all about. Congrats on 200 days brother. You earned it.

[worktowin]

2 - friggin' - hundred!

Well done my brutha! Super proud of you man.

X2 ^^^...

200 days ago you decided to make a decision. Easy to make, but not so easy to execute. Congratulations on hitting a big number today. The first 100 seems impossible, but so worth it... And each new 100 is a learning experience. Take a minute today to look back at where you were. You should be proud.

[srans]

2 - friggin' - hundred!

Well done my brutha! Super proud of you man.

X2 ^^^...

[AppleJack]

2 - friggin' - hundred!

Well done my brutha! Super proud of you man.

[brettlees]

Day 195 posted roll this morning.  I am quit all day long.

Yesterday I took a bit of time  read thru my entire intro thread.  Man, it was like re-living my quit all over again. 

I remember vividly the situations  battles I went thru the past 195 days.  I remember the time of day, weather, how I felt, what was going thru my head... really weird.  These trials are hammered into my memory.  It is like one of those childhood memories that you just never forget, or a life changing event that is forever locked in.

I never want to forget day 1!  I don't want to forget why I quit... never!  As time rolls on, memories fade -- I am glad I used my Intro to document my quit because I can reflect on what I was vs. what I now am.  I really like the person I have become.  I will never go back!

The best part of yesterday was the memories of the KTC brotherhood coming to my aid during the most difficult times.  I wanted to take a moment  thank all of you for having my back the last 195 days.  I really appreciate it!  Know that I have yours as well.  Quit on!

I also just breezed through your into. That's quitting at it's finest brother. I've been proud to walk this walk with you. I pulled this from early in your quit. I remember reading it and it helping me. I thought it would be good for some newbies to read so i'm putting it here. Thanks for the memories,, which weren't to long ago.

QUOTE (Skoal Monster @ Oct 30, 2012, 12:57 pm)
Spongebob Mantra

There is only one thing that I must accomplish today, and that is to not chew.
If I get other things done today, great.
But everything else has second priority for now.
Soon I'll be able to focus on those other things too.
But for right now, for today, this is the only thing that matters.
I won't demand more of myself, and I won't get down on myself for not doing anything else if I don't get to it.
This is damn damn damn hard work, and it's the most important work that I have right now.
I'll be truly and sincerely proud if I meet no goals today other than keeping that crap out of my mouth

Rock on bro...

What AJ says X2

[AppleJack]

Day 195 posted roll this morning.  I am quit all day long.

Yesterday I took a bit of time  read thru my entire intro thread.  Man, it was like re-living my quit all over again. 

I remember vividly the situations  battles I went thru the past 195 days.  I remember the time of day, weather, how I felt, what was going thru my head... really weird.  These trials are hammered into my memory.  It is like one of those childhood memories that you just never forget, or a life changing event that is forever locked in.

I never want to forget day 1!  I don't want to forget why I quit... never!  As time rolls on, memories fade -- I am glad I used my Intro to document my quit because I can reflect on what I was vs. what I now am.  I really like the person I have become.  I will never go back!

The best part of yesterday was the memories of the KTC brotherhood coming to my aid during the most difficult times.  I wanted to take a moment  thank all of you for having my back the last 195 days.  I really appreciate it!  Know that I have yours as well.  Quit on!

I also just breezed through your into. That's quitting at it's finest brother. I've been proud to walk this walk with you. I pulled this from early in your quit. I remember reading it and it helping me. I thought it would be good for some newbies to read so i'm putting it here. Thanks for the memories,, which weren't to long ago.

QUOTE (Skoal Monster @ Oct 30, 2012, 12:57 pm)
Spongebob Mantra

There is only one thing that I must accomplish today, and that is to not chew.
If I get other things done today, great.
But everything else has second priority for now.
Soon I'll be able to focus on those other things too.
But for right now, for today, this is the only thing that matters.
I won't demand more of myself, and I won't get down on myself for not doing anything else if I don't get to it.
This is damn damn damn hard work, and it's the most important work that I have right now.
I'll be truly and sincerely proud if I meet no goals today other than keeping that crap out of my mouth

Rock on bro...

[srans]

Day 195 posted roll this morning. I am quit all day long.

Yesterday I took a bit of time  read thru my entire intro thread. Man, it was like re-living my quit all over again.

I remember vividly the situations  battles I went thru the past 195 days. I remember the time of day, weather, how I felt, what was going thru my head... really weird. These trials are hammered into my memory. It is like one of those childhood memories that you just never forget, or a life changing event that is forever locked in.

I never want to forget day 1! I don't want to forget why I quit... never! As time rolls on, memories fade -- I am glad I used my Intro to document my quit because I can reflect on what I was vs. what I now am. I really like the person I have become. I will never go back!

The best part of yesterday was the memories of the KTC brotherhood coming to my aid during the most difficult times. I wanted to take a moment  thank all of you for having my back the last 195 days. I really appreciate it! Know that I have yours as well. Quit on!

I also just breezed through your into. That's quitting at it's finest brother. I've been proud to walk this walk with you. I pulled this from early in your quit. I remember reading it and it helping me. I thought it would be good for some newbies to read so i'm putting it here. Thanks for the memories,, which weren't to long ago.

QUOTE (Skoal Monster @ Oct 30, 2012, 12:57 pm)
Spongebob Mantra

There is only one thing that I must accomplish today, and that is to not chew.
If I get other things done today, great.
But everything else has second priority for now.
Soon I'll be able to focus on those other things too.
But for right now, for today, this is the only thing that matters.
I won't demand more of myself, and I won't get down on myself for not doing anything else if I don't get to it.
This is damn damn damn hard work, and it's the most important work that I have right now.
I'll be truly and sincerely proud if I meet no goals today other than keeping that crap out of my mouth

[Derk40]

Day 195 posted roll this morning. I am quit all day long.

Yesterday I took a bit of time  read thru my entire intro thread. Man, it was like re-living my quit all over again.

I remember vividly the situations  battles I went thru the past 195 days. I remember the time of day, weather, how I felt, what was going thru my head... really weird. These trials are hammered into my memory. It is like one of those childhood memories that you just never forget, or a life changing event that is forever locked in.

I never want to forget day 1! I don't want to forget why I quit... never! As time rolls on, memories fade -- I am glad I used my Intro to document my quit because I can reflect on what I was vs. what I now am. I really like the person I have become. I will never go back!

The best part of yesterday was the memories of the KTC brotherhood coming to my aid during the most difficult times. I wanted to take a moment  thank all of you for having my back the last 195 days. I really appreciate it! Know that I have yours as well. Quit on!

[B-loMatt]

Dear KTC,

I have thought about this for some time now.  This has been weighing heavily on my mind.  I want to be totally honest with all of you because you all mean so much to me.  I mean you have supported me for 171 days and I just need to make sure everything is on the table.  I can't live without getting this off my chest.

So, here it goes.   I am QLF today.  I know that waking up in the morning to post roll takes me 60 seconds.  1 minute of my day to save my life.   Anyone who says they don't have time is just full of it. I also want to pound my chest as I tell you that this daily promise to myself and to you means something.  I will not go back on my word today.  I expect the same from you.  For 171 days I have have stayed quit following a simple plan that works.  It is tried and true.  You don't like it... then that is your issue.  There are many quit programs out there but this one is mine.  I am not going anywhere.

If you have a problem with that then you can pound sand. I mean it... Get out of my face.   I'm not gonna discuss this issue ever again. 

Signed, derk

I have seen a thousand quitters come through here. You are just like the rest, posting roll each day and getting it done. Blah, blah, blah. No excuses, just working the system.

The nic bitch must hate you. ;)

'worship'

now this is the way it should be.....

Very nice Matt, I used to use the phrase "put out to get out" and hell it works here too, just intended a different way.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make a jackass drink.

Stop lovin all over my slut. You see we are bound together by this site and it works. Derk just figured it out a little sooner than me. Nice quit wood there bro.

http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s Rock on Derk and that mile of quit cock!

Is there room for one more in this Turkish bath house full of ghey quitters today...? 'sos'

Quit with all you crazy bastards today!

That might be the most disturbing emoticon I've ever seen. Otherwise, good stuff Derk.

Good stuff here as usual. http://www.picgifs.com/smileys/s