I guess I'll do an intro

[tls37010]

Here is how I interpreted the answers to the 3 questions...... Woe is me, I messed up but I am a great and mighty person. I won't do it again unless I put myself into the same situations that I caved in, which I know will happen but I want to pretend I am strong enough to quit. I did mess up and use nicotine again, but it doesn't count because I don't feel like I caved, but I will say I did to appease this forum.....

Seriously, in your own statement, you say that you feel like you are still on day 48. Have you not read any of the information on this site and what nicotine does to your brain? It doesn't matter if you dipped, smoked, or inhaled a cigar through your butthole, nicotine is NICOTINE. You are not sorry for caving and everything you wrote is a bunch of fluff. KTC does not have to be a full time job like you stated. You get up, post roll, and check back throughout the day. However, staying true to your quit IS a full time job. You just don't get it at all.

And to fuckin send me a message and say that I should text you because you can provide me insight and accountability because you caved and know what it is like? How about you read the intro's and stories of your "fellow quitters" before you go extending a bullshit hand of help and make yourself look like an assclown.

Looking back over my post, I can certainly see how you interpreted it that way. That said, it certainly wasn't intended to be read like that. I was trying to relay a number of different messages at the same time and I think a lot of it just got caught up in itself. So I'll lay them out below.

-All blame and responsibility ultimately falls on me.
-I didn't protect my quit like a baby. Although this is NOT the reason I failed, it certainly contributed to it greatly.
-The reason I failed myself, my family, and my quit brothers goes no further than myself.
-I don't feel bad for myself, I feel like a complete dipshit.
-I can go partying all I want, but that's not the actions I need to take if I'm quitting actively.
-I need a lot more humility. Humility will get me a long long way.

Ultimately though, I think you need to reread that post. I did not say I still feel like I'm on day 48. I said that when I came back to KTC after caving in May, I felt like I was still on day 48 and that my quit was still strong. I did not recognize it as the threat it was, and did not take the situation entirely serious.

As far as whether or not you give me your phone number, and what not I could honestly give a shit. I'm looking for some brothers to help hold me accountable and to do the same for them. If you're not into that then so be it. I figured me and you had something in common as well as we're both military and your posts remind me very much of my first few days on this site. There's no need to get all huffy puffy toughy in the face of a legitimate hand of friendship.

[tls37010]

A lot of words here with nothing much said. I'll give you credit! It had to take awhile to type this up and try to sound like you understood and had a plan to quit this time. So whats the plan? I mean really? If you want to play the role and fake it till you make it then there are other places to post up. Here, we expect ONE thing! Honor your word daily! If you stay here I suggest you be quiet and do some soul searching. Ive learned that caving is more about your own deficiencies as a man then it is about outside influences. I.e.... Drinking, partying, pressure from friends. Only good news for you today is that you can strengthen that backbone of yours. It takes ball to quit!

Jake Frawley - 195
I agree that at the end of the day the blame falls on me and me alone. I'm not trying to avoid that whatsoever. What I am trying to say is that I was often going out partying and drinking hardcore regularly when my quit was so damn fresh. I'm trying to say I did not approach my quit smart enough. Ultimately the blame rests on me, but there was no need to be putting my quit in such a delicate position.

[UH60Chief107]

Here is how I interpreted the answers to the 3 questions...... Woe is me, I messed up but I am a great and mighty person. I won't do it again unless I put myself into the same situations that I caved in, which I know will happen but I want to pretend I am strong enough to quit. I did mess up and use nicotine again, but it doesn't count because I don't feel like I caved, but I will say I did to appease this forum.....

Seriously, in your own statement, you say that you feel like you are still on day 48. Have you not read any of the information on this site and what nicotine does to your brain? It doesn't matter if you dipped, smoked, or inhaled a cigar through your butthole, nicotine is NICOTINE. You are not sorry for caving and everything you wrote is a bunch of fluff. KTC does not have to be a full time job like you stated. You get up, post roll, and check back throughout the day. However, staying true to your quit IS a full time job. You just don't get it at all.

And to fuckin send me a message and say that I should text you because you can provide me insight and accountability because you caved and know what it is like? How about you read the intro's and stories of your "fellow quitters" before you go extending a bullshit hand of help and make yourself look like an assclown.

[jake frawley]

1)What happened?
I came into KTC rather quiet at first. I just sat and absorbed the knowledge – raged out in chat a couple of times in a fit of rage. Soon after that though, I found some solace in making posts that were rather pointed towards cavers and others. I began to take a sort of peace of mind in ranting on here on KTC whether that be in my quit thread, my intro thread, or on chat. It seemed healthy, but in reality it wasn’t. I don’t think that was a behavior that was conducive to my quit.

That said, what happened was essentially that I caved on a night of drinking. After a lot of introspection – I knew that I had a problem. I’m not going to lie – as soon as I came on here and posted day 1 I lost a lot of motivation. I wasn’t into my quit, I honestly felt like I was trying to climb an insurmountable wall and that no matter what I did I couldn’t climb it. I may have physically posted a second day one, but I sure as hell didn’t mentally post a second day one. For me, mentally I was still on day 48 or whatever the fuck. Part of me felt that my slip up was no big deal; part of me felt that I was just doomed to failure. I was honestly demoralized and didn’t frankly care anymore. I quit protecting my quit, eventually I quit coming on KTC as often. Eventually I convinced myself I was better off without KTC. Eventually I was back to using nicotine full time with no end in sight.

2) Why did it happen?
Like I said – humility is a big thing. I quit reading after a while. I quit trying to understand my addiction – AS IF THE FIGHT WAS OVER! I quit guarding my quit! I often went out drinking heavily during even the earliest days of my quit. I quit making KTC a priority and my quit a priority – I hated that I had to guard my quit so closely. A part of me secretly loathed that, why couldn’t I just be like everyone else and go about a normal day. Why couldn’t I enjoy a meal and a beer without cringing to death? I secretly hated that. Part of me began to loathe my quit I think – even more so after I came on here and physically posted a day one. Yet like I said above I don’t think I really mentally posted a day one, because I don’t think I even made it two weeks! I was just trying to continue what I had going! I should have done a lot lot more introspection before I came back around. Frankly I don’t think I was serious and to be honest I think I was wasting my time and KTC’s.

3) What are you going to do differently this time?
Well, first off I plan on being present with a lot more humility in mind – I don’t need to be telling respected members of the community to fuck off, nor do I need to be the one casting judgment – as I have no room to be casting judgment. I’m going to be avoiding alcohol and other major triggers for a long time, and when I do decided to put myself around those certain triggers I plan on preparing myself adequately for it an only weaning myself into the situation. All that said though, I’m going to hold myself accountable above all else, because I can do everything else right, but still be wrong if I’m not holding myself accountable. I need to be on here on KTC first thing every morning. I need to read every day in length about addiction, and reflect on that. Killing the can needs to be a full time job and taken seriously as such.
I know a lot of you guys don’t want to see me around. I know a lot of you have no faith in me. I understand that. I know you guys are expecting me to cave. You want me to post in a separate section for “serial cavers” or whatever. I get that, honestly I do. I’m okay with that – perhaps that’s what’s best. If that’s what’s required of me, then so be it. If that’s what’s desired of me, so be it. I understand that many of you have absolutely 0 trust and faith in me, but I hope I can regain some of that with time and dedication.

Please get out. This place isn't for you. I hope you stay quit, but more than that, I hope you aren't here for it. You're an arrogant hypocrite and there is no place on this site for that attitude. I don't need to hear your excuses any more than the previous 9 guys that came through here and told us the same thing. I know I know, you're a special butterfly, the rules don't apply to you like everybody else, you have more willpower, you're different, blah blah blah. Please go to Lite and get your participation trophy. I'm quitting my ass off for myself and the quitters that want to be here. I don't need anything other than the satisfaction that I'm saving my life one day at a time. Seems like you want somebody to play with your Prince Albert every time you post your name. I won't be playing with that Prince Albert you're sporting. Take it elsewhere.

J2thaZ

A lot of words here with nothing much said. I'll give you credit! It had to take awhile to type this up and try to sound like you understood and had a plan to quit this time. So whats the plan? I mean really? If you want to play the role and fake it till you make it then there are other places to post up. Here, we expect ONE thing! Honor your word daily! If you stay here I suggest you be quiet and do some soul searching. Ive learned that caving is more about your own deficiencies as a man then it is about outside influences. I.e.... Drinking, partying, pressure from friends. Only good news for you today is that you can strengthen that backbone of yours. It takes ball to quit!

Jake Frawley - 195

[Diesel2112]

As I said before...

Go play with dolls. Stop wasting our time.

[AppleJack]

I am rarely a guy who takes the hardline. Forgiveness is a beautiful thing. Grace is even more beautiful.

You... Are a waste of time.

You don't get it.

Bye.

[J2thaZ]

1)What happened?
I came into KTC rather quiet at first. I just sat and absorbed the knowledge – raged out in chat a couple of times in a fit of rage. Soon after that though, I found some solace in making posts that were rather pointed towards cavers and others. I began to take a sort of peace of mind in ranting on here on KTC whether that be in my quit thread, my intro thread, or on chat. It seemed healthy, but in reality it wasn’t. I don’t think that was a behavior that was conducive to my quit.

That said, what happened was essentially that I caved on a night of drinking. After a lot of introspection – I knew that I had a problem. I’m not going to lie – as soon as I came on here and posted day 1 I lost a lot of motivation. I wasn’t into my quit, I honestly felt like I was trying to climb an insurmountable wall and that no matter what I did I couldn’t climb it. I may have physically posted a second day one, but I sure as hell didn’t mentally post a second day one. For me, mentally I was still on day 48 or whatever the fuck. Part of me felt that my slip up was no big deal; part of me felt that I was just doomed to failure. I was honestly demoralized and didn’t frankly care anymore. I quit protecting my quit, eventually I quit coming on KTC as often. Eventually I convinced myself I was better off without KTC. Eventually I was back to using nicotine full time with no end in sight.

2) Why did it happen?
Like I said – humility is a big thing. I quit reading after a while. I quit trying to understand my addiction – AS IF THE FIGHT WAS OVER! I quit guarding my quit! I often went out drinking heavily during even the earliest days of my quit. I quit making KTC a priority and my quit a priority – I hated that I had to guard my quit so closely. A part of me secretly loathed that, why couldn’t I just be like everyone else and go about a normal day. Why couldn’t I enjoy a meal and a beer without cringing to death? I secretly hated that. Part of me began to loathe my quit I think – even more so after I came on here and physically posted a day one. Yet like I said above I don’t think I really mentally posted a day one, because I don’t think I even made it two weeks! I was just trying to continue what I had going! I should have done a lot lot more introspection before I came back around. Frankly I don’t think I was serious and to be honest I think I was wasting my time and KTC’s.

3) What are you going to do differently this time?
Well, first off I plan on being present with a lot more humility in mind – I don’t need to be telling respected members of the community to fuck off, nor do I need to be the one casting judgment – as I have no room to be casting judgment. I’m going to be avoiding alcohol and other major triggers for a long time, and when I do decided to put myself around those certain triggers I plan on preparing myself adequately for it an only weaning myself into the situation. All that said though, I’m going to hold myself accountable above all else, because I can do everything else right, but still be wrong if I’m not holding myself accountable. I need to be on here on KTC first thing every morning. I need to read every day in length about addiction, and reflect on that. Killing the can needs to be a full time job and taken seriously as such.
I know a lot of you guys don’t want to see me around. I know a lot of you have no faith in me. I understand that. I know you guys are expecting me to cave. You want me to post in a separate section for “serial cavers” or whatever. I get that, honestly I do. I’m okay with that – perhaps that’s what’s best. If that’s what’s required of me, then so be it. If that’s what’s desired of me, so be it. I understand that many of you have absolutely 0 trust and faith in me, but I hope I can regain some of that with time and dedication.

Please get out. This place isn't for you. I hope you stay quit, but more than that, I hope you aren't here for it. You're an arrogant hypocrite and there is no place on this site for that attitude. I don't need to hear your excuses any more than the previous 9 guys that came through here and told us the same thing. I know I know, you're a special butterfly, the rules don't apply to you like everybody else, you have more willpower, you're different, blah blah blah. Please go to Lite and get your participation trophy. I'm quitting my ass off for myself and the quitters that want to be here. I don't need anything other than the satisfaction that I'm saving my life one day at a time. Seems like you want somebody to play with your Prince Albert every time you post your name. I won't be playing with that Prince Albert you're sporting. Take it elsewhere.

J2thaZ

[tls37010]

1)What happened?
I came into KTC rather quiet at first. I just sat and absorbed the knowledge – raged out in chat a couple of times in a fit of rage. Soon after that though, I found some solace in making posts that were rather pointed towards cavers and others. I began to take a sort of peace of mind in ranting on here on KTC whether that be in my quit thread, my intro thread, or on chat. It seemed healthy, but in reality it wasn’t. I don’t think that was a behavior that was conducive to my quit.

That said, what happened was essentially that I caved on a night of drinking. After a lot of introspection – I knew that I had a problem. I’m not going to lie – as soon as I came on here and posted day 1 I lost a lot of motivation. I wasn’t into my quit, I honestly felt like I was trying to climb an insurmountable wall and that no matter what I did I couldn’t climb it. I may have physically posted a second day one, but I sure as hell didn’t mentally post a second day one. For me, mentally I was still on day 48 or whatever the fuck. Part of me felt that my slip up was no big deal; part of me felt that I was just doomed to failure. I was honestly demoralized and didn’t frankly care anymore. I quit protecting my quit, eventually I quit coming on KTC as often. Eventually I convinced myself I was better off without KTC. Eventually I was back to using nicotine full time with no end in sight.

2) Why did it happen?
Like I said – humility is a big thing. I quit reading after a while. I quit trying to understand my addiction – AS IF THE FIGHT WAS OVER! I quit guarding my quit! I often went out drinking heavily during even the earliest days of my quit. I quit making KTC a priority and my quit a priority – I hated that I had to guard my quit so closely. A part of me secretly loathed that, why couldn’t I just be like everyone else and go about a normal day. Why couldn’t I enjoy a meal and a beer without cringing to death? I secretly hated that. Part of me began to loathe my quit I think – even more so after I came on here and physically posted a day one. Yet like I said above I don’t think I really mentally posted a day one, because I don’t think I even made it two weeks! I was just trying to continue what I had going! I should have done a lot lot more introspection before I came back around. Frankly I don’t think I was serious and to be honest I think I was wasting my time and KTC’s.

3) What are you going to do differently this time?
Well, first off I plan on being present with a lot more humility in mind – I don’t need to be telling respected members of the community to fuck off, nor do I need to be the one casting judgment – as I have no room to be casting judgment. I’m going to be avoiding alcohol and other major triggers for a long time, and when I do decided to put myself around those certain triggers I plan on preparing myself adequately for it an only weaning myself into the situation. All that said though, I’m going to hold myself accountable above all else, because I can do everything else right, but still be wrong if I’m not holding myself accountable. I need to be on here on KTC first thing every morning. I need to read every day in length about addiction, and reflect on that. Killing the can needs to be a full time job and taken seriously as such.
I know a lot of you guys don’t want to see me around. I know a lot of you have no faith in me. I understand that. I know you guys are expecting me to cave. You want me to post in a separate section for “serial cavers” or whatever. I get that, honestly I do. I’m okay with that – perhaps that’s what’s best. If that’s what’s required of me, then so be it. If that’s what’s desired of me, so be it. I understand that many of you have absolutely 0 trust and faith in me, but I hope I can regain some of that with time and dedication.

[UH60Chief107]

I appreciate the support guys.

I've come back to this thread, because I needed somewhere other than June Group to occupy my thoughts. Especially, since this is in regards to recent caves within the group.

You guys are a bunch of pussies. I don't care what happens in your life, I don't care how long you chewed for. I don't give a shit if your mom, daughter, and father all fall over dead on the same day. I don't give a shit if Fido gets run over by a fucking car. I don't give a shit your home gets foreclosed on or your car gets impounded. No matter what happens, nicotine isn't going to make it better.

You're a fucking idiot if you think nicotine is going to solve your damn problem. At this point in your quit, it's gonna fucking compound your problem. You're going to start to feel dizzy, your head is going to spin, and you won't be able to see or think straight. Then the guilt will set in. You're going to realize that you let your brothers here at KTC down. You let your wife/significant other down. You let your children down. You let everyone who you've surrounded yourself with down. The can really is more important than your dearest fucking loved ones, huh? Just remember that you let your loved ones down. Remember the look in child's eyes when they see you with the can in. Remember that your wife does think less of you as a man, now. Your wife wants a man with a back bone, a man who can stand up to life's challenges and face them down. She wants a man she can count on to support her, not the other way around.

No, I don't want you back in my fucking quit group. No, the fuck I don't. I don't give a shit. You gave up. You quit. Every other mother fucker on this site has gone through this shit, some of us 10x worse than you. You had no reason to cave, except for the fact that you are a baby backed bitch. You are a selfish mother fucker. You chose the nic bitch over every one who loves and surrounds you. You know the dangers, and risks associated with tobacco, yet you still took it. You said your word wasn't worth a damn. You said you had no will power. You said that quitting is not important to you. You specifically described just how selfish you are, without even using a single fucking word!

I don't care if you just took one dip, and it made you feel dizzy and light headed. No shit, that's what a foreign substance will do when your body is not dependent on it. I don't give a shit if you threw the rest down the toilet, or in the trash. That's not a sign of a recovering addict; that's the sign of an addict attempting to hide. I don't give a shit about any of your lame ass excuses. I don't give a flying hoot-shit and I hope none of my brothers do.

All this stuff I am quoting is what YOU wrote....... what happened? Where is the person that wrote that post?

[Evil_Won]

Caved again, huh?

Time for Quitsmokeless.org for you.

You have been given ample support and far too many breaks. Been coddled too much too in my opinion. Spare me your updated version to the three questions, go tell Lite. They'll listen.

[Thumblewort]

tls, I see very similar traits in us, you are a 20+ younger version of me in attitude. Please allow me to dispense unasked for advice.

You came to this site on your own, and by the nature of creating an account asked for help. The rules here are very simple, post roll, and don't use nicotine. Anything else is a bonus. You wrote a strongly worded post on caving, which was well received and appreciated, but by doing so you put yourself out there as a leader, so when your cave came, it hit us double hard. You came back, but have seemed to fail again, mainly due to not being humble enough to take your medicine and own up to the hard core quitters who are trying to save your life.

When I was in my early 20's and in college, I knew everything. It's funny now that I am 45 I seem to know less and less each day, but I gain more because I listen to people who do know what they are talking about. Case and point is the KTC. I created an account, posted day 2 of roll, all with a reported nic patch on. I caught the well deserved ration of shit, humbly removed myself from roll all while thinking in my head what a bunch of dicks. Because on March 6th 2014 I knew everything about quitting even though I wasn't an addict. And now it's May 14th, I am a nicotine addict who has chosen and promised thousands of unmet people that I will not use nicotine today, and I'd rather go blind than to break that promise to them.

I can't ask you to buy in to the KTC as hard as I did, but what I can ask is to consider swallowing your pride and explaining yourself to the many folks who have used their precious time to support you. I hope you are quit today.

[Doc Chewfree]

I'm still quit. I didn't fucking cave. I'm about fed up with ya fucks though. That's for damn sure. I was online yesterday reading Words of Wisdom. Yeah I didn't fucking post roll.

Well you have now been relegated to the cave/mia list of yet another quit group. I see you are still lurking though. I guess "we fucks" (your words not mine) speak too much truth for you. See you in ten years when your balls finally drop. Revisit this intro when you crawl back and be humble next time you might make it. Enjoy the cancer turds buddy.

I want to join an accountability site but get upset when quitters on the site try to help and hold you accountable.

Oh yeah, I get that fucked up addiction logic. 'finger point'

Very disappointing!

[cbird65]

I'm still quit. I didn't fucking cave. I'm about fed up with ya fucks though. That's for damn sure. I was online yesterday reading Words of Wisdom. Yeah I didn't fucking post roll.

Well you have now been relegated to the cave/mia list of yet another quit group. I see you are still lurking though. I guess "we fucks" (your words not mine) speak too much truth for you. See you in ten years when your balls finally drop. Revisit this intro when you crawl back and be humble next time you might make it. Enjoy the cancer turds buddy.

I want to join an accountability site but get upset when quitters on the site try to help and hold you accountable.

Oh yeah, I get that fucked up addiction logic. 'finger point'

[E&C's Dad]

I'm still quit. I didn't fucking cave. I'm about fed up with ya fucks though. That's for damn sure. I was online yesterday reading Words of Wisdom. Yeah I didn't fucking post roll.

Well you have now been relegated to the cave/mia list of yet another quit group. I see you are still lurking though. I guess "we fucks" (your words not mine) speak too much truth for you. See you in ten years when your balls finally drop. Revisit this intro when you crawl back and be humble next time you might make it. Enjoy the cancer turds buddy.

[rdad]

I'm still quit. I didn't fucking cave. I'm about fed up with ya fucks though. That's for damn sure. I was online yesterday reading Words of Wisdom. Yeah I didn't fucking post roll.

Why not?

???

Roll is posted today.

because he's a boy. Boys don't make promises...boys take quitting something like nicotine as a game, like go fish or sorry. Problem is, when you have a boy playing games, those boys don't understand that the ramifications of losing this "game" is death, and a pretty horrible one at that. By not posting roll TLS, you are saying to us that you don't really give a shit about what this place is about. How were you on here reading the words of wisdom yesterday and not post roll? That just doesn't make sense. Considering it takes about 5 seconds to post roll and about an hour or longer to read all the words of wisdom. Funny thing is when i came back as a retread you were a complete ass to me. Then when you caved i was one of the first ones to reach out to you and offer my support. I told you to post roll every day and honor your word...then you don't post roll, the very foundation of this support site, and then you get all pissy when people call you out? Are you just that big of an arrogant prick? I don't think that is what your problem is...see...Diesel is and arrogant prick...but he's a bad ass quitter. He's weathered the storm and came out on top...thats what men do. You are a boy. And a fucking whiny ass boy at that. When your nuts drop and you want to be a man, then be an arrogant prick if thats who you want to be. But right now, there hasn't been one thing said to you that isn't true so far...hypocrite is the one that comes to mind.

Did anywhere in the words of wisdom talk about posting roll? I bet it did...

Saw you posted up day 10 today. Keep that going and quit F-ing around.

Why would the words of wisdom, written by some monster quitters, mention posting roll? Its not really that important is it? 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head'