Ok...it's Tuesday, July 2, and today's daily affirmation will be in the form of an actual affirmation and not the low-rent melodrama that has so far marked my return.
Ahem...
So today I'm coming in to work. I work in the city, so I have to walk past all of these office buildings. Invariably, there are people standing outside, first thing in the morning, smoking.
At first, gator shakes his head in judgment. I mean, come on. Think about being a slave to a little white stick of tobacco to the point where you gotta walk outside, whether it is 10 degrees or 110 degrees, and smoke. You people gotta be the dumbest sheep on the planet.
Uh...not so fast there, gator. There was a time where I too was a sheep. I didn't have to go outside in inclement weather to engage in stupidity, but my stupidity was marked by spitters, fatties and empty cans of dirt in my garbage can.
Ladies and gentlemen...it is time to reclaim your life. If you buy a pack of smokes or a tin of dip today, you are giving in to the bizarre hold tobacco has on your body. This hold makes you do very dumb things just so you too can possibly win cancer, gum disease, emphysema (???), heart disease, etc.
It is not worth it. Many people on here, especially 'newbs', that read this post will at some point today think about dip. Some may even struggle with the thought of buying a tin. One won't hurt. I'll quit again tomorrow.
Baloney. It is not worth it under any circumstance. Think twice and don't. If that doesn't work, find you a desk drawer, slip your nuts in it, and then slam shut repeatedly until you pass out or the crave goes away.
It works I promise.