Daily affirmations-updated daily

[klark]

The last thing I want to do is to draw attention to you but I have had enough. Let me get out the most important part, as of right now, i would NEVER TRUST YOU with any part of my quit. You portray this image of the fact that you ignored a message from me? Try 6 over a 2 month period. WE DECIDED to ignore each other in chat? No, I put you on ignore the second I saw you there, if you said something I did not see it so do not protray anything that happen was a mutual decision. Also, do not take anything I say and use it to pretend you are helping people, I don't want my reputation damaged.

You had the chance to become a better person, you didn't take it and I will not let you drag me with you. You are a hypocritic scum bag who wants everyone to feel sorry for you, the problem is you had support and ignored it. I suggest you go look up the definition of brotherhood, you practice the opposite and I will not let you take away from here what people with a soul built.

[Kdip]

In full disclosure...I posted a smart alec post late last night mentioning klark.  klark and I were in chat together last night and we blew each other off.  I got pissed and posted that post.  That was wrong of me.  There are legit reasons klark won't talk to me.  There are legit reasons mj and most of the mods are looking at me with a great deal of intensity.  I apologize to them and to klark.

As to everything else, my stressors and triggers aren't major...i.e. no relative dying of some disease or anything.  I do have a lot going on at once right now.  Things that, individually, would be no big thing.  However, I have found thoughts creeping through my head when things happen like, "God I could use a dip," or "One won't hurt."

It scares the piss out of me, I will not lie.

I know there is a fair amount of hypocrisy to be had in coming back here.  It wasn't an easy decision.  I was a jackass that said bad things and did bad things.  All I can do is apologize. 

But I will not cave. 

Mj, I was wrong earlier in my post to you.  I do need a mod.  That is, I need and want anyone on here to call me out when my focus gets shifted.  If I'm being a douche in here or on chat, lay me out.  Quitting is the only reason I am back and that is where I need to stay.

Thanks for listening.

Most of us on this site have been dicks to each other at some point or another. It's part of being a family. All you can do is forgive from your side. If it is not reciprocated, it's on them. Let them carry the angst. It's their burden. Not yours bro. Let it go from your side and move on with life.

Personally, LOOT's all but forgotten why you once made his shit list and frankly has no interest in dredging it up. Your current intentions will reveal themselves in due time. If your intentions are impure, you, like others before you, will find yourself on the outside looking in, permanently.

Just do yourself a favor. Identify those that are going to hate irregardless and steer clear. We find ourselves with much of the same hate club bro, you are in good company...the difference is LOOT can poke with a stick...you can't. Don't engage the haters, in your intro or in chat. If it finds its way in here from outside your keyboard, it can and will be cleaned up.

Families are awesome most of the time. They can be a bummer at others. Just remember, it takes two bro. You have to be a willing participant either way.

If you need an ear, LOOT will turn on your PM long enough to get you an email addy so we can talk outside the public eye. Just say the word. The last thing we need is for you to be an active addict.

There...that's LOOT's nugget for you today. Heed it or don't, your call.

PS. You've apologized enough. Move on. Let the haters hate.

Loot I'll take that offer any day. Shoot me an email please. I appreciate it greatly.

Sent an email to the AOL acct you used to register.

PS. Who the hell use AOL anymore? So gay....

'embarrassed'

I still have Hotmail account as my primary email. I opened it in 1995.

me too back when all the letters you could have where what I have for a name my is supposed to be trauma magnet... traumagnet@hotmail Gator if you need an extra Email to send to.
T

Thank you, trauam. Thanks, loot, waste, all you folks.

MJ...couldn't find your medidation group.

However, did hit the gym this morning bright and early. Felt great. ONce certainly is not the cure all, but I get it. Refocus on all the positive goals. All I do and stay quit.

Gator.

Gator, I am like loot. I don't even remember all the details from the past that got you on the wrong side of certain folks. I was never directly a party to any of that. What I remember is you were very active in chat during the day and I used to like to talk to you. Its time for both sides to bury the hatchet and get on to quitting and helping others at the same time you strengthen your quit!!! Send me an email to the GAY email address of kabldg@aol.com and I will send you my digits.

[Instigator]

In full disclosure...I posted a smart alec post late last night mentioning klark.  klark and I were in chat together last night and we blew each other off.  I got pissed and posted that post.  That was wrong of me.  There are legit reasons klark won't talk to me.  There are legit reasons mj and most of the mods are looking at me with a great deal of intensity.  I apologize to them and to klark.

As to everything else, my stressors and triggers aren't major...i.e. no relative dying of some disease or anything.  I do have a lot going on at once right now.  Things that, individually, would be no big thing.  However, I have found thoughts creeping through my head when things happen like, "God I could use a dip," or "One won't hurt."

It scares the piss out of me, I will not lie.

I know there is a fair amount of hypocrisy to be had in coming back here.  It wasn't an easy decision.  I was a jackass that said bad things and did bad things.  All I can do is apologize. 

But I will not cave. 

Mj, I was wrong earlier in my post to you.  I do need a mod.  That is, I need and want anyone on here to call me out when my focus gets shifted.  If I'm being a douche in here or on chat, lay me out.  Quitting is the only reason I am back and that is where I need to stay.

Thanks for listening.

Most of us on this site have been dicks to each other at some point or another. It's part of being a family. All you can do is forgive from your side. If it is not reciprocated, it's on them. Let them carry the angst. It's their burden. Not yours bro. Let it go from your side and move on with life.

Personally, LOOT's all but forgotten why you once made his shit list and frankly has no interest in dredging it up. Your current intentions will reveal themselves in due time. If your intentions are impure, you, like others before you, will find yourself on the outside looking in, permanently.

Just do yourself a favor. Identify those that are going to hate irregardless and steer clear. We find ourselves with much of the same hate club bro, you are in good company...the difference is LOOT can poke with a stick...you can't. Don't engage the haters, in your intro or in chat. If it finds its way in here from outside your keyboard, it can and will be cleaned up.

Families are awesome most of the time. They can be a bummer at others. Just remember, it takes two bro. You have to be a willing participant either way.

If you need an ear, LOOT will turn on your PM long enough to get you an email addy so we can talk outside the public eye. Just say the word. The last thing we need is for you to be an active addict.

There...that's LOOT's nugget for you today. Heed it or don't, your call.

PS. You've apologized enough. Move on. Let the haters hate.

Loot I'll take that offer any day. Shoot me an email please. I appreciate it greatly.

Sent an email to the AOL acct you used to register.

PS. Who the hell use AOL anymore? So gay....

'embarrassed'

I still have Hotmail account as my primary email. I opened it in 1995.

me too back when all the letters you could have where what I have for a name my is supposed to be trauma magnet... traumagnet@hotmail Gator if you need an extra Email to send to.
T

Thank you, trauam. Thanks, loot, waste, all you folks.

MJ...couldn't find your medidation group.

However, did hit the gym this morning bright and early. Felt great. ONce certainly is not the cure all, but I get it. Refocus on all the positive goals. All I do and stay quit.

Gator.

[traumagnet]

In full disclosure...I posted a smart alec post late last night mentioning klark.  klark and I were in chat together last night and we blew each other off.  I got pissed and posted that post.  That was wrong of me.  There are legit reasons klark won't talk to me.  There are legit reasons mj and most of the mods are looking at me with a great deal of intensity.  I apologize to them and to klark.

As to everything else, my stressors and triggers aren't major...i.e. no relative dying of some disease or anything.  I do have a lot going on at once right now.  Things that, individually, would be no big thing.  However, I have found thoughts creeping through my head when things happen like, "God I could use a dip," or "One won't hurt."

It scares the piss out of me, I will not lie.

I know there is a fair amount of hypocrisy to be had in coming back here.  It wasn't an easy decision.  I was a jackass that said bad things and did bad things.  All I can do is apologize. 

But I will not cave. 

Mj, I was wrong earlier in my post to you.  I do need a mod.  That is, I need and want anyone on here to call me out when my focus gets shifted.  If I'm being a douche in here or on chat, lay me out.  Quitting is the only reason I am back and that is where I need to stay.

Thanks for listening.

Most of us on this site have been dicks to each other at some point or another. It's part of being a family. All you can do is forgive from your side. If it is not reciprocated, it's on them. Let them carry the angst. It's their burden. Not yours bro. Let it go from your side and move on with life.

Personally, LOOT's all but forgotten why you once made his shit list and frankly has no interest in dredging it up. Your current intentions will reveal themselves in due time. If your intentions are impure, you, like others before you, will find yourself on the outside looking in, permanently.

Just do yourself a favor. Identify those that are going to hate irregardless and steer clear. We find ourselves with much of the same hate club bro, you are in good company...the difference is LOOT can poke with a stick...you can't. Don't engage the haters, in your intro or in chat. If it finds its way in here from outside your keyboard, it can and will be cleaned up.

Families are awesome most of the time. They can be a bummer at others. Just remember, it takes two bro. You have to be a willing participant either way.

If you need an ear, LOOT will turn on your PM long enough to get you an email addy so we can talk outside the public eye. Just say the word. The last thing we need is for you to be an active addict.

There...that's LOOT's nugget for you today. Heed it or don't, your call.

PS. You've apologized enough. Move on. Let the haters hate.

Loot I'll take that offer any day. Shoot me an email please. I appreciate it greatly.

Sent an email to the AOL acct you used to register.

PS. Who the hell use AOL anymore? So gay....

'embarrassed'

I still have Hotmail account as my primary email. I opened it in 1995.

me too back when all the letters you could have where what I have for a name my is supposed to be trauma magnet... traumagnet@hotmail Gator if you need an extra Email to send to.
T

[wastepanel]

In full disclosure...I posted a smart alec post late last night mentioning klark.  klark and I were in chat together last night and we blew each other off.  I got pissed and posted that post.  That was wrong of me.  There are legit reasons klark won't talk to me.  There are legit reasons mj and most of the mods are looking at me with a great deal of intensity.  I apologize to them and to klark.

As to everything else, my stressors and triggers aren't major...i.e. no relative dying of some disease or anything.  I do have a lot going on at once right now.  Things that, individually, would be no big thing.  However, I have found thoughts creeping through my head when things happen like, "God I could use a dip," or "One won't hurt."

It scares the piss out of me, I will not lie.

I know there is a fair amount of hypocrisy to be had in coming back here.  It wasn't an easy decision.  I was a jackass that said bad things and did bad things.  All I can do is apologize. 

But I will not cave. 

Mj, I was wrong earlier in my post to you.  I do need a mod.  That is, I need and want anyone on here to call me out when my focus gets shifted.  If I'm being a douche in here or on chat, lay me out.  Quitting is the only reason I am back and that is where I need to stay.

Thanks for listening.

Most of us on this site have been dicks to each other at some point or another. It's part of being a family. All you can do is forgive from your side. If it is not reciprocated, it's on them. Let them carry the angst. It's their burden. Not yours bro. Let it go from your side and move on with life.

Personally, LOOT's all but forgotten why you once made his shit list and frankly has no interest in dredging it up. Your current intentions will reveal themselves in due time. If your intentions are impure, you, like others before you, will find yourself on the outside looking in, permanently.

Just do yourself a favor. Identify those that are going to hate irregardless and steer clear. We find ourselves with much of the same hate club bro, you are in good company...the difference is LOOT can poke with a stick...you can't. Don't engage the haters, in your intro or in chat. If it finds its way in here from outside your keyboard, it can and will be cleaned up.

Families are awesome most of the time. They can be a bummer at others. Just remember, it takes two bro. You have to be a willing participant either way.

If you need an ear, LOOT will turn on your PM long enough to get you an email addy so we can talk outside the public eye. Just say the word. The last thing we need is for you to be an active addict.

There...that's LOOT's nugget for you today. Heed it or don't, your call.

PS. You've apologized enough. Move on. Let the haters hate.

Loot I'll take that offer any day. Shoot me an email please. I appreciate it greatly.

Sent an email to the AOL acct you used to register.

PS. Who the hell use AOL anymore? So gay....

'embarrassed'

I still have Hotmail account as my primary email. I opened it in 1995.

[loot]

In full disclosure...I posted a smart alec post late last night mentioning klark.  klark and I were in chat together last night and we blew each other off.  I got pissed and posted that post.  That was wrong of me.  There are legit reasons klark won't talk to me.  There are legit reasons mj and most of the mods are looking at me with a great deal of intensity.  I apologize to them and to klark.

As to everything else, my stressors and triggers aren't major...i.e. no relative dying of some disease or anything.  I do have a lot going on at once right now.  Things that, individually, would be no big thing.  However, I have found thoughts creeping through my head when things happen like, "God I could use a dip," or "One won't hurt."

It scares the piss out of me, I will not lie.

I know there is a fair amount of hypocrisy to be had in coming back here.  It wasn't an easy decision.  I was a jackass that said bad things and did bad things.  All I can do is apologize. 

But I will not cave. 

Mj, I was wrong earlier in my post to you.  I do need a mod.  That is, I need and want anyone on here to call me out when my focus gets shifted.  If I'm being a douche in here or on chat, lay me out.  Quitting is the only reason I am back and that is where I need to stay.

Thanks for listening.

Most of us on this site have been dicks to each other at some point or another. It's part of being a family. All you can do is forgive from your side. If it is not reciprocated, it's on them. Let them carry the angst. It's their burden. Not yours bro. Let it go from your side and move on with life.

Personally, LOOT's all but forgotten why you once made his shit list and frankly has no interest in dredging it up. Your current intentions will reveal themselves in due time. If your intentions are impure, you, like others before you, will find yourself on the outside looking in, permanently.

Just do yourself a favor. Identify those that are going to hate irregardless and steer clear. We find ourselves with much of the same hate club bro, you are in good company...the difference is LOOT can poke with a stick...you can't. Don't engage the haters, in your intro or in chat. If it finds its way in here from outside your keyboard, it can and will be cleaned up.

Families are awesome most of the time. They can be a bummer at others. Just remember, it takes two bro. You have to be a willing participant either way.

If you need an ear, LOOT will turn on your PM long enough to get you an email addy so we can talk outside the public eye. Just say the word. The last thing we need is for you to be an active addict.

There...that's LOOT's nugget for you today. Heed it or don't, your call.

PS. You've apologized enough. Move on. Let the haters hate.

Loot I'll take that offer any day. Shoot me an email please. I appreciate it greatly.

Sent an email to the AOL acct you used to register.

PS. Who the hell use AOL anymore? So gay....

[LionHeartedGirl]

Jesus Christ I thought this was RTCG or AN's intro with all the drama in here 'crackup'

You've had my number, use it if you need or speaking of AN, if you pull your pants down sext me 'winker'  'boob'

I am actually waiting for the singing of Kumbaya while sitting around the campfire 'crackup' .

Gator you can shoot me pms anytime you need.

Was really hoping it would get more exciting so all the girls could pile in and yell for y'all to jump in jello together and send pics. Dogfight! woof

Sorry, LHG, but it's 'cockfight'. :P

Yes! Ha!!

[Nolaq]

Jesus Christ I thought this was RTCG or AN's intro with all the drama in here 'crackup'

You've had my number, use it if you need or speaking of AN, if you pull your pants down sext me 'winker'  'boob'

I am actually waiting for the singing of Kumbaya while sitting around the campfire 'crackup' .

Gator you can shoot me pms anytime you need.

Was really hoping it would get more exciting so all the girls could pile in and yell for y'all to jump in jello together and send pics. Dogfight! woof

Sorry, LHG, but it's 'cockfight'. :P

[Mjollnir]

I opened a roll in the Meditation Group. I'm inviting you to join me there. It may help you get your feet back on the ground, or atleast get enough control of your eating that you can see them again...

[Instigator]

So now you are having trouble, but you've been clean for a while.  I think I know what is going on.  This is very common in AA, and is usually a critical point in sobriety.  It will make it or break it. 

People get in there, get cleaned up and do the first ten steps, everything seems honky dory.  The 12th step, passing it on is important in keeping AA alive, and keeps you on your toes.  The 11th step, many ignore.  This is "prayer and meditation".  Just keep reading.

The problem you are experiencing is that for many years you relied on a drug to keep you calm, help you think etc.  Now it is gone and you have not replaced it.

Nature abhores a vaccuum and that is what you now have, so many of the problems the drug solved for you are continuing.  These are not outside issues, they are inside issues.  Dealing with stress and anxiety etc.  It isn't always a "hostile" stress or anxiety either.  My most dangerous times for my sobriety are when things are good.  I want to make them better and what could do a better job then a large frosted glass of St. Pauli Girl Dark...

Enough of the problem, now for a solution.  I mentioned the eleventh step of AA for a reason.  This incorporates a new coping mechanism.  My weapons of choice are meditation, and the gym.  The meditation is a foundation of my spiritual/religious beliefs and so is suprisingly the gym.  To have a healthy mind, you must have a healthy body.  Both of these increase endorphines which help you deal with stress and anxiety. 

Basically, add something to your life that will help you deal with the stress.  This is a normal function, that we, as addicts have put off or not used because we have our little helper to take care of it for us.  Now the little helper is gone.

What is this, Freudian breakdown?

I'd hate to have you "break me down". I actually pay someone to do that.

The guy was here, he left for whatever reasons, and now is back.

Some questions were raised and answered by him and even Loot.

Why does this have to keep going like the energized bunny? Guys not a Sith Lord...I hope

Let the man be. Let his actions here speak, and let him work out whatever struggles he is having.

This isn't AA, either. My Goodness.

Diesel...there is a reason I appreciate thor's post. Thor and I go back to the beginning and I know his struggles in not only tobacco but alcohol. Were it not for the fact he and have discussed this many a time in chat, I too could possibly blow this off.

But I can't. I know he knows of what he speaks from both perspeectives.

Let me give you an insight into what's going on with me right now, because this does actually fit right in with what mj says.

Here are my primary stressors right now. Please remember in a previous post I said that none, by themselves, are that big a deal. However, added up, I've been struggling.

First, for you old timers, you remember a couple of years ago I went through a few months of serious neck issues. The issues are back with a vengeneance. I am in pain every waking moment of the day. However, my wife has a herniated disc and will likely need surgery in the fall. Therefore, can't even risk a doctor's visit because I don't want the prognosis.

Second, when I took this special assignment at work, I was told when it was over I would come back to my old job. Now, a year and half later, my boss tells me I still got a job, but he doesn't know where. That wasn't the original agreement and now the uncertainty and distrust is causing major anxiety.

Next, I have ballooned to 210 pounds from 182. In the old days, mid meal snacking was replaced with dip. Now as I become bloated Elvis, there is a dark side telling me I can kill my appetite by dipping.

My spiritual life has become quite shallow. My blood pressure issues has gotten out of control again.

I don't say all of that because I expect anyone to actually care that much. I guess it just felt good to get all that out there and also demonstrate that mj is quite right. If I don't refocus on outlets, I will continue to struggle.

Actually, part of why I am back here. This place was one of the greatest outlets for me. Chat, fighting with newbs and vets alike. Getting involved in other people's quits. Staying involved is a big help.

And I do appreciate all the support from all of you. Like a 'newb', I drink it all in.

Enraged Thor?

I'm sorry...I meant mj...in the old days, he was 'thor's hammer'...which is the same as mjollnir. still in chat sometimes I slip and call him thor.

[Diesel2112]

So now you are having trouble, but you've been clean for a while.  I think I know what is going on.  This is very common in AA, and is usually a critical point in sobriety.  It will make it or break it. 

People get in there, get cleaned up and do the first ten steps, everything seems honky dory.  The 12th step, passing it on is important in keeping AA alive, and keeps you on your toes.  The 11th step, many ignore.  This is "prayer and meditation".  Just keep reading.

The problem you are experiencing is that for many years you relied on a drug to keep you calm, help you think etc.  Now it is gone and you have not replaced it.

Nature abhores a vaccuum and that is what you now have, so many of the problems the drug solved for you are continuing.  These are not outside issues, they are inside issues.  Dealing with stress and anxiety etc.  It isn't always a "hostile" stress or anxiety either.  My most dangerous times for my sobriety are when things are good.  I want to make them better and what could do a better job then a large frosted glass of St. Pauli Girl Dark...

Enough of the problem, now for a solution.  I mentioned the eleventh step of AA for a reason.  This incorporates a new coping mechanism.  My weapons of choice are meditation, and the gym.  The meditation is a foundation of my spiritual/religious beliefs and so is suprisingly the gym.  To have a healthy mind, you must have a healthy body.  Both of these increase endorphines which help you deal with stress and anxiety. 

Basically, add something to your life that will help you deal with the stress.  This is a normal function, that we, as addicts have put off or not used because we have our little helper to take care of it for us.  Now the little helper is gone.

What is this, Freudian breakdown?

I'd hate to have you "break me down". I actually pay someone to do that.

The guy was here, he left for whatever reasons, and now is back.

Some questions were raised and answered by him and even Loot.

Why does this have to keep going like the energized bunny? Guys not a Sith Lord...I hope

Let the man be. Let his actions here speak, and let him work out whatever struggles he is having.

This isn't AA, either. My Goodness.

Diesel...there is a reason I appreciate thor's post. Thor and I go back to the beginning and I know his struggles in not only tobacco but alcohol. Were it not for the fact he and have discussed this many a time in chat, I too could possibly blow this off.

But I can't. I know he knows of what he speaks from both perspeectives.

Let me give you an insight into what's going on with me right now, because this does actually fit right in with what mj says.

Here are my primary stressors right now. Please remember in a previous post I said that none, by themselves, are that big a deal. However, added up, I've been struggling.

First, for you old timers, you remember a couple of years ago I went through a few months of serious neck issues. The issues are back with a vengeneance. I am in pain every waking moment of the day. However, my wife has a herniated disc and will likely need surgery in the fall. Therefore, can't even risk a doctor's visit because I don't want the prognosis.

Second, when I took this special assignment at work, I was told when it was over I would come back to my old job. Now, a year and half later, my boss tells me I still got a job, but he doesn't know where. That wasn't the original agreement and now the uncertainty and distrust is causing major anxiety.

Next, I have ballooned to 210 pounds from 182. In the old days, mid meal snacking was replaced with dip. Now as I become bloated Elvis, there is a dark side telling me I can kill my appetite by dipping.

My spiritual life has become quite shallow. My blood pressure issues has gotten out of control again.

I don't say all of that because I expect anyone to actually care that much. I guess it just felt good to get all that out there and also demonstrate that mj is quite right. If I don't refocus on outlets, I will continue to struggle.

Actually, part of why I am back here. This place was one of the greatest outlets for me. Chat, fighting with newbs and vets alike. Getting involved in other people's quits. Staying involved is a big help.

And I do appreciate all the support from all of you. Like a 'newb', I drink it all in.

Enraged Thor?

[Instigator]

So now you are having trouble, but you've been clean for a while.  I think I know what is going on.  This is very common in AA, and is usually a critical point in sobriety.  It will make it or break it. 

People get in there, get cleaned up and do the first ten steps, everything seems honky dory.  The 12th step, passing it on is important in keeping AA alive, and keeps you on your toes.  The 11th step, many ignore.  This is "prayer and meditation".  Just keep reading.

The problem you are experiencing is that for many years you relied on a drug to keep you calm, help you think etc.  Now it is gone and you have not replaced it.

Nature abhores a vaccuum and that is what you now have, so many of the problems the drug solved for you are continuing.  These are not outside issues, they are inside issues.  Dealing with stress and anxiety etc.  It isn't always a "hostile" stress or anxiety either.  My most dangerous times for my sobriety are when things are good.  I want to make them better and what could do a better job then a large frosted glass of St. Pauli Girl Dark...

Enough of the problem, now for a solution.  I mentioned the eleventh step of AA for a reason.  This incorporates a new coping mechanism.  My weapons of choice are meditation, and the gym.  The meditation is a foundation of my spiritual/religious beliefs and so is suprisingly the gym.  To have a healthy mind, you must have a healthy body.  Both of these increase endorphines which help you deal with stress and anxiety. 

Basically, add something to your life that will help you deal with the stress.  This is a normal function, that we, as addicts have put off or not used because we have our little helper to take care of it for us.  Now the little helper is gone.

What is this, Freudian breakdown?

I'd hate to have you "break me down". I actually pay someone to do that.

The guy was here, he left for whatever reasons, and now is back.

Some questions were raised and answered by him and even Loot.

Why does this have to keep going like the energized bunny? Guys not a Sith Lord...I hope

Let the man be. Let his actions here speak, and let him work out whatever struggles he is having.

This isn't AA, either. My Goodness.

Diesel...there is a reason I appreciate thor's post. Thor and I go back to the beginning and I know his struggles in not only tobacco but alcohol. Were it not for the fact he and have discussed this many a time in chat, I too could possibly blow this off.

But I can't. I know he knows of what he speaks from both perspeectives.

Let me give you an insight into what's going on with me right now, because this does actually fit right in with what mj says.

Here are my primary stressors right now. Please remember in a previous post I said that none, by themselves, are that big a deal. However, added up, I've been struggling.

First, for you old timers, you remember a couple of years ago I went through a few months of serious neck issues. The issues are back with a vengeneance. I am in pain every waking moment of the day. However, my wife has a herniated disc and will likely need surgery in the fall. Therefore, can't even risk a doctor's visit because I don't want the prognosis.

Second, when I took this special assignment at work, I was told when it was over I would come back to my old job. Now, a year and half later, my boss tells me I still got a job, but he doesn't know where. That wasn't the original agreement and now the uncertainty and distrust is causing major anxiety.

Next, I have ballooned to 210 pounds from 182. In the old days, mid meal snacking was replaced with dip. Now as I become bloated Elvis, there is a dark side telling me I can kill my appetite by dipping.

My spiritual life has become quite shallow. My blood pressure issues has gotten out of control again.

I don't say all of that because I expect anyone to actually care that much. I guess it just felt good to get all that out there and also demonstrate that mj is quite right. If I don't refocus on outlets, I will continue to struggle.

Actually, part of why I am back here. This place was one of the greatest outlets for me. Chat, fighting with newbs and vets alike. Getting involved in other people's quits. Staying involved is a big help.

And I do appreciate all the support from all of you. Like a 'newb', I drink it all in.

[Mjollnir]

So now you are having trouble, but you've been clean for a while.  I think I know what is going on.  This is very common in AA, and is usually a critical point in sobriety.  It will make it or break it. 

People get in there, get cleaned up and do the first ten steps, everything seems honky dory.  The 12th step, passing it on is important in keeping AA alive, and keeps you on your toes.  The 11th step, many ignore.  This is "prayer and meditation".  Just keep reading.

The problem you are experiencing is that for many years you relied on a drug to keep you calm, help you think etc.  Now it is gone and you have not replaced it.

Nature abhores a vaccuum and that is what you now have, so many of the problems the drug solved for you are continuing.  These are not outside issues, they are inside issues.  Dealing with stress and anxiety etc.  It isn't always a "hostile" stress or anxiety either.  My most dangerous times for my sobriety are when things are good.  I want to make them better and what could do a better job then a large frosted glass of St. Pauli Girl Dark...

Enough of the problem, now for a solution.  I mentioned the eleventh step of AA for a reason.  This incorporates a new coping mechanism.  My weapons of choice are meditation, and the gym.  The meditation is a foundation of my spiritual/religious beliefs and so is suprisingly the gym.  To have a healthy mind, you must have a healthy body.  Both of these increase endorphines which help you deal with stress and anxiety. 

Basically, add something to your life that will help you deal with the stress.  This is a normal function, that we, as addicts have put off or not used because we have our little helper to take care of it for us.  Now the little helper is gone.

What is this, Freudian breakdown?

I'd hate to have you "break me down". I actually pay someone to do that.

The guy was here, he left for whatever reasons, and now is back.

Some questions were raised and answered by him and even Loot.

Why does this have to keep going like the energized bunny? Guys not a Sith Lord...I hope

Let the man be. Let his actions here speak, and let him work out whatever struggles he is having.

This isn't AA, either. My Goodness.

re-read it diesel.

[Diesel2112]

So now you are having trouble, but you've been clean for a while. I think I know what is going on. This is very common in AA, and is usually a critical point in sobriety. It will make it or break it.

People get in there, get cleaned up and do the first ten steps, everything seems honky dory. The 12th step, passing it on is important in keeping AA alive, and keeps you on your toes. The 11th step, many ignore. This is "prayer and meditation". Just keep reading.

The problem you are experiencing is that for many years you relied on a drug to keep you calm, help you think etc. Now it is gone and you have not replaced it.

Nature abhores a vaccuum and that is what you now have, so many of the problems the drug solved for you are continuing. These are not outside issues, they are inside issues. Dealing with stress and anxiety etc. It isn't always a "hostile" stress or anxiety either. My most dangerous times for my sobriety are when things are good. I want to make them better and what could do a better job then a large frosted glass of St. Pauli Girl Dark...

Enough of the problem, now for a solution. I mentioned the eleventh step of AA for a reason. This incorporates a new coping mechanism. My weapons of choice are meditation, and the gym. The meditation is a foundation of my spiritual/religious beliefs and so is suprisingly the gym. To have a healthy mind, you must have a healthy body. Both of these increase endorphines which help you deal with stress and anxiety.

Basically, add something to your life that will help you deal with the stress. This is a normal function, that we, as addicts have put off or not used because we have our little helper to take care of it for us. Now the little helper is gone.

What is this, Freudian breakdown?

I'd hate to have you "break me down". I actually pay someone to do that.

The guy was here, he left for whatever reasons, and now is back.

Some questions were raised and answered by him and even Loot.

Why does this have to keep going like the energized bunny? Guys not a Sith Lord...I hope

Let the man be. Let his actions here speak, and let him work out whatever struggles he is having.

This isn't AA, either. My Goodness.

[Mjollnir]

So now you are having trouble, but you've been clean for a while. I think I know what is going on. This is very common in AA, and is usually a critical point in sobriety. It will make it or break it.

People get in there, get cleaned up and do the first ten steps, everything seems honky dory. The 12th step, passing it on is important in keeping AA alive, and keeps you on your toes. The 11th step, many ignore. This is "prayer and meditation". Just keep reading.

The problem you are experiencing is that for many years you relied on a drug to keep you calm, help you think etc. Now it is gone and you have not replaced it.

Nature abhores a vaccuum and that is what you now have, so many of the problems the drug solved for you are continuing. These are not outside issues, they are inside issues. Dealing with stress and anxiety etc. It isn't always a "hostile" stress or anxiety either. My most dangerous times for my sobriety are when things are good. I want to make them better and what could do a better job then a large frosted glass of St. Pauli Girl Dark...

Enough of the problem, now for a solution. I mentioned the eleventh step of AA for a reason. This incorporates a new coping mechanism. My weapons of choice are meditation, and the gym. The meditation is a foundation of my spiritual/religious beliefs and so is suprisingly the gym. To have a healthy mind, you must have a healthy body. Both of these increase endorphines which help you deal with stress and anxiety.

Basically, add something to your life that will help you deal with the stress. This is a normal function, that we, as addicts have put off or not used because we have our little helper to take care of it for us. Now the little helper is gone.