In full disclosure...I posted a smart alec post late last night mentioning klark. klark and I were in chat together last night and we blew each other off. I got pissed and posted that post. That was wrong of me. There are legit reasons klark won't talk to me. There are legit reasons mj and most of the mods are looking at me with a great deal of intensity. I apologize to them and to klark.
As to everything else, my stressors and triggers aren't major...i.e. no relative dying of some disease or anything. I do have a lot going on at once right now. Things that, individually, would be no big thing. However, I have found thoughts creeping through my head when things happen like, "God I could use a dip," or "One won't hurt."
It scares the piss out of me, I will not lie.
I know there is a fair amount of hypocrisy to be had in coming back here. It wasn't an easy decision. I was a jackass that said bad things and did bad things. All I can do is apologize.
But I will not cave.
Mj, I was wrong earlier in my post to you. I do need a mod. That is, I need and want anyone on here to call me out when my focus gets shifted. If I'm being a douche in here or on chat, lay me out. Quitting is the only reason I am back and that is where I need to stay.
Thanks for listening.
Most of us on this site have been dicks to each other at some point or another. It's part of being a family. All you can do is forgive from your side. If it is not reciprocated, it's on them. Let them carry the angst. It's their burden. Not yours bro. Let it go from your side and move on with life.
Personally, LOOT's all but forgotten why you once made his shit list and frankly has no interest in dredging it up. Your current intentions will reveal themselves in due time. If your intentions are impure, you, like others before you, will find yourself on the outside looking in, permanently.
Just do yourself a favor. Identify those that are going to hate irregardless and steer clear. We find ourselves with much of the same hate club bro, you are in good company...the difference is LOOT can poke with a stick...you can't. Don't engage the haters, in your intro or in chat. If it finds its way in here from outside your keyboard, it can and will be cleaned up.
Families are awesome most of the time. They can be a bummer at others. Just remember, it takes two bro. You have to be a willing participant either way.
If you need an ear, LOOT will turn on your PM long enough to get you an email addy so we can talk outside the public eye. Just say the word. The last thing we need is for you to be an active addict.
There...that's LOOT's nugget for you today. Heed it or don't, your call.
PS. You've apologized enough. Move on. Let the haters hate.
