Hi everyone.
My name is Dan.
I started dipping in the Fall of 1990 during Army basic training (OSUT). I began with wintergreen Skoal but within six months was was dipping a can or two of Cope a day.
That habit has lasted on and off for 26 years (mostly "on", though I've made half-hearted attempts to quit in the past I've never gone more than a day or two totally nicotine free).
I've kinda been trying to quit for the past year using cigars, the patch, and/or nicotine gum as "replacement therapy", always with a well-established plan to ween myself off it according to some schedule or another.
Yeah, that's never really worked out.
After a month, a few weeks, a couple of days, I was back to Cope and would be on it for a few weeks or months before I'd make another attempt.
I hide it from everyone (dip in my top lip and swallow so nobody knows it's there), lie to my wife and kids about it, sneak it whenever I can, try to mask the smell by constantly drinking coffee - whatever it takes.
And I'm tired of it.
Tired of lying, tired of hiding it, tired of being enslaved to it, tired of the expense, tired of the health risks.
My most recent "quit" began last weekend with patches and gum.
It lasted maybe three days.
I was hiding it today and the wife caught me.
Even though we just blew another $100 on patches and gum just the other day.
Even after she put together an elaborate Excel spreadsheet outlining the weening off process, which she'd worked on for hours.
Even after having told her, the dozen times she's asked me over the past week how it was going, "Going great, sticking to the plan".
Well, "the plan" doesn't work for me.
It seems that if I have it in my system, in any amount, in any form, I have absolutely no control over the fact that sooner or later I will be going back to Cope.
So beginning tomorrow morning, from the moment I wake up, I'm going to try to kick cold turkey for the first time.
I'd appreciate any help and support y'all could provide.
My first question is, where do I go next? I know that there are quit-date based groups where I can post a "roll call", but for the life of me I can't find the one I should be in.
Thanks.