First Week

[ChickDip]

Congrats on that mighty fine half dangle Dusty. :wub:
Soooo glad you're here, fighting the fight with all of us!!

[suthern_gntlman]

Thank you for all the kind words and wave of support! Holy shit glad I have unlimited texting!! My phone has been blown up since all of this and that just shows the brotherhood and family strength here. I will continue to push forward one day at a time. I have things repaired with my wife which wouldn't have been possible if I would've hit the can and said fuck it. I have a long road ahead of me that was dark before, but all of you have provided the light I need to traverse it!!!!

The steps we've taken to overcome the hated girl dog nic, are the same ones we can utilize in almost all dilemmas.

One day at a time and start fresh each day.

You have the wisdom inside of you to overcome this, for that wisdom has helped many of us traverse difficulties.

I'm always available if you ever need to talk through those trials yourself.

[DWEIRICK]

Thank you for all the kind words and wave of support! Holy shit glad I have unlimited texting!! My phone has been blown up since all of this and that just shows the brotherhood and family strength here. I will continue to push forward one day at a time. I have things repaired with my wife which wouldn't have been possible if I would've hit the can and said fuck it. I have a long road ahead of me that was dark before, but all of you have provided the light I need to traverse it!!!!

[ChickDip]

None of us are safe.
We all have the struggles and demons to deal with, some worse than others, but all tough.
One thing that I believe saved you is that you know you are not alone and that your family and marriage is hugely important to you.
You will never be alone, even if you try.
Your people here care and would do anything for you.
You are a staple here in these halls and I know you are here for many others.
Stay strong, stay the course, stay connected. Love you brother.

[Tjschu]

I understand where you are coming from. I get stressed from my job and then tend to drink too much too often. I have been working on changing that behavior also. I am always here if you need anything.

[Candoit]

DW I have walked the same path a year ago. Put your faith in others to shoulder the burderns of day to day. Talk with your wife and be open and honest about everything. Divorce is a way out to avoid the hard. Marriage is not easy but it gives you the biggest blessings in your life.

My phone is always on.

[suthern_gntlman]

Ah man... I hurt for you!

If I could be so bold...

I know a lot of folks in here are scared of religion and religious tones, but it has always been my experience when I'm furthest away from God I'm furthest away from my family...

My thoughts are with you...

[Nomore1959]

Life goes on after we quit, no guarantee its all good things. I don't have much in the way of advice for you, but support I can offer.

[DWEIRICK]

Last night was the closest I've been to caving in my 497 days of quit. It was after 3am and no one was awake although I'm sure if I would've called someone they would've answered me.


Here's the back story:

I like many other people have an addictive personality some of those addictions are good fishing, volunteer firefighting and others are not so good gambling, alcohol  copious amounts most nights. I've struggled with this shit for many years the amount of money I've wasted on alcohol and scratch off tickets is sickening to say the least. I have an extremely stressful roller coaster job as I'm sure most of you know. All this has been building long before I quit chewing tobacco. I've been distant and at times verbally abusive to my wife. I didn't see it until last night when she asked me if we were breaking up and she didn't want the kids to suffer. I was sitting at work when this went down so I'm trying to keep my composure so I can do my job while I'm screaming on the inside. She was pretty serious about divorce and was worried about the kids and what was going to happen. I got off at 3am came home and she was asleep so I went to the one thing I knew would comfort me in my time of desperation. I hit the booze pretty hard, debated on eating a bullet, or buying a can of chew. If I'm going to lose my family then fuck it I might as well start dipping again why does it matter. I sat in my car buzzed fighting this monster in my head. She was a tough bastard and I decided to live my life without Nicotine like I promised. I know I'm well liked here and respected by tons of quitters. It feels good to be looked up to and I take pride in that, but last night I have no clue what stopped me from driving to the c store divine intervention hell I don't know. I was ready to throw all that away all of the work all of the relationships I've built here just like that.

I'm turning a new leaf today somehow I'm going to be a better husband and Father. I don't know where this road leads since I refused to travel it for so long, but I have to strap in and just ride it out. I talked to the wife today and I've believe all is well for the time being, but I'm on thin ice and if it breaks I'm surely drowning.


Ashleylynn, Carl and koolaid thank you for your kind words today you guys kept me sane and I don't think you know it. I would do anything for any of the Samurai and I appreciate the support I get when I'm down and out.

[ChickDip]

Addressing the “I'm reminded of dip when I come here feeling”

I don't know about you, but I used for a long time from an early age about 11 or 12. I can't remember a time in my life without that shit in my mouth other than now. I'm fucking scared to forget that I'm an ex Nicotine user. If I'm not reminded daily I would easily forget the pain I put myself through, the money I wasted, the teeth and gums I destroyed, the lies to family about being quit and most importantly the pain of those Pre-Hof days trying to push through. I will not go back to that and I will not suffer an agonizing death because of a weed in a can. If I'm reminded of who I used to be everyday then I'm winning this battle. If I forget who I used to be then I become that person againÂ….. Never again for any reason NAFARÂ…...

That is the lamest excuse going for leaving the site and it drives me nuts.

Let's be honest, there are 1000 things that I run into in my life that remind me of dip. Every single gas station that I pass, for instance. A daily promise NOT to use is by far the least destructive reminder that I have.

Anyone making that argument isn't being honest with themselves about their temptations and is looking for an excuse to fail.

So.very. lame.
Anyone can find an excuse to leave, and when they do, they were searching for one....but none are worth it if you want to be held accountable daily.
If i hadn't found this site and tried to quit, again, like before, I'd have bought more cans, dipped more crap, just like before.
I want to think of it, ...cuz if i dont, I'll become complacent and think i can do it on my own, and dont need accountability.
This is fool proof, of you really want it.
Own it.

[DWEIRICK]

Just wanted to add this to the journal: PA meet was huge and I'm really glad I got to go and I'm honored that I got to meet some of the baddest quitters here!!! If you haven't met another quitter do it! I promise it will only strengthen your quit!

[pky1520]

Addressing the “I'm reminded of dip when I come here feeling”

I don't know about you, but I used for a long time from an early age about 11 or 12. I can't remember a time in my life without that shit in my mouth other than now. I'm fucking scared to forget that I'm an ex Nicotine user. If I'm not reminded daily I would easily forget the pain I put myself through, the money I wasted, the teeth and gums I destroyed, the lies to family about being quit and most importantly the pain of those Pre-Hof days trying to push through. I will not go back to that and I will not suffer an agonizing death because of a weed in a can. If I'm reminded of who I used to be everyday then I'm winning this battle. If I forget who I used to be then I become that person againÂ….. Never again for any reason NAFARÂ…...

That is the lamest excuse going for leaving the site and it drives me nuts.

Let's be honest, there are 1000 things that I run into in my life that remind me of dip. Every single gas station that I pass, for instance. A daily promise NOT to use is by far the least destructive reminder that I have.

Anyone making that argument isn't being honest with themselves about their temptations and is looking for an excuse to fail.

[DWEIRICK]

Addressing the “I'm reminded of dip when I come here feeling”

I don't know about you, but I used for a long time from an early age about 11 or 12. I can't remember a time in my life without that shit in my mouth other than now. I'm fucking scared to forget that I'm an ex Nicotine user. If I'm not reminded daily I would easily forget the pain I put myself through, the money I wasted, the teeth and gums I destroyed, the lies to family about being quit and most importantly the pain of those Pre-Hof days trying to push through. I will not go back to that and I will not suffer an agonizing death because of a weed in a can. If I'm reminded of who I used to be everyday then I'm winning this battle. If I forget who I used to be then I become that person againÂ….. Never again for any reason NAFARÂ…...

[ChickDip]

A passing flingÂ…..

Today I was sitting at my desk with KTC on my laptop and I began to think about the past and as in the past I mean those days when I was finger banging a can. Thoughts and memories flooded me instantly and I was hurled back into time. I was replaying all kinds of events in my head when I dipped riding in the rig to that car accident or house fire, when I dipped on my way to a cardiac arrest for someone who was checking out from end stage cancer due to tobacco, dipping while providing CPR instructions to a frantic mother who is watching her child turn blue and I felt a huge sadness fall upon me. For years I believed using that shit helped me cope with the situations I faced. I'm 29 years old I've been a volunteer fireman for 14 of those years and I've seen some pretty wicked shit and have had a few close calls inside buildings we shouldn't have been in. I've spent the last 7 years working as a 911 Dispatcher a very rewarding career even though we don't get paid as much as we should and we hardly ever get recognized since we sit in a room with no windows locked out from the outside world. Taking 911 calls for people having the absolute worst day is a stressful job most dispatchers smoke, dip or struggle with alcohol due to the stresses and the hours we work. I'm proud to say I've wrestled those demon's and I no longer need those vices to get by instead I hit the gym as much as possible instead of poisoning my body! My sadness turned into happiness today because I was one of the few that was able to overcome the madness and drop the Nicotine and I now watch many co-workers poison themselves and I feel sorry for them only because I remember how much of a slave I was. I'm relieved that isn't who I am anymore. Sometimes I forget how shitty it was to first quit and then I stumble across some writings in a new quit month and it punches me in the face and I remember that I will never go through that fucking hell again. I thought this was important to remember and if you're new and reading this you can do this, you can beat this addiction and you can live free just don't ever forget where you once were even if it sucks to remember! Day 407 and I will not be Nicotines bitch today!

^ghey......

But for real, you are the real deal clown.

Glad you found this place, glad you stayed with it and still going strong, glad you're here now.
Remembering what we did, where we were, and how far we've come is a certain strength. One should never mistake "thinkning of dip" as a weakness, a negative, or a reason not to come in here and post roll, it's just the opposite.
Peace  Strength

[Drewdrew]

A passing flingÂ…..

Today I was sitting at my desk with KTC on my laptop and I began to think about the past and as in the past I mean those days when I was finger banging a can. Thoughts and memories flooded me instantly and I was hurled back into time. I was replaying all kinds of events in my head when I dipped riding in the rig to that car accident or house fire, when I dipped on my way to a cardiac arrest for someone who was checking out from end stage cancer due to tobacco, dipping while providing CPR instructions to a frantic mother who is watching her child turn blue and I felt a huge sadness fall upon me. For years I believed using that shit helped me cope with the situations I faced. I'm 29 years old I've been a volunteer fireman for 14 of those years and I've seen some pretty wicked shit and have had a few close calls inside buildings we shouldn't have been in. I've spent the last 7 years working as a 911 Dispatcher a very rewarding career even though we don't get paid as much as we should and we hardly ever get recognized since we sit in a room with no windows locked out from the outside world. Taking 911 calls for people having the absolute worst day is a stressful job most dispatchers smoke, dip or struggle with alcohol due to the stresses and the hours we work. I'm proud to say I've wrestled those demon's and I no longer need those vices to get by instead I hit the gym as much as possible instead of poisoning my body! My sadness turned into happiness today because I was one of the few that was able to overcome the madness and drop the Nicotine and I now watch many co-workers poison themselves and I feel sorry for them only because I remember how much of a slave I was. I'm relieved that isn't who I am anymore. Sometimes I forget how shitty it was to first quit and then I stumble across some writings in a new quit month and it punches me in the face and I remember that I will never go through that fucking hell again. I thought this was important to remember and if you're new and reading this you can do this, you can beat this addiction and you can live free just don't ever forget where you once were even if it sucks to remember! Day 407 and I will not be Nicotines bitch today!

^ghey......

But for real, you are the real deal clown.