Had a little "pep in my step" today as I always do the Wed before Thanksgiving. For YEARS the tradition has been the same. Hoops with the old gang at my old high school at night, Lions game with my Uncles and Brothers on T giving and then over to my Aunts for an absolute FEAST and then my wife joins the mass of dumb dumbs and goes midnight shopping. She loves it though, so whatever.
I love every bit of it, and is one of my favorite times of the year, hence the extra pep today at work, but in the back of my mind I felt "something" was missing...oh yeah, my old friend "kodiak" had been part of all this for the past 15 years. In my addicted mind he was the ultimate "enhancer".
Basketball, Lions game, eat til you pass out, house to yourself as kids sleep and wife is gone...how could life get any better? Oh yeah load up the lip with some kodiak and make a great moment even better. What a bunch of bullshit that was. A complete and total fucking lie.
That crap didn't make ANY of that better, in fact, looking back it made it worse. Always scheming when I could get my dips in, planting cans in the basement and worrying if I found them all or if my wife would find one, constantly calling my wife asking her if she was okay and to call me when she was on her way home because I was worried about her...yeah right I just wanted the warning she was on her way home so I could clean up and hide my shit again. And oh yeah, always in the back of my mind was the fear of cancer and dieing, but don't let that stop you. Just keep "enhancing" the fun. What a slave I was, bottom of the barrel loser.
No "man" should live like that. That's a fucking COWARD way to live...but I lived it and am ashamed of it.
Not today bitches. I still had the extra bounce at work, I still am pumped to hoop tonight, I'm still excited to see the lions lose tomorrow with 4 of the favorite guys in my life, I will still call my wife asking if shes okay and to call me on her way home...but this time it will be because I really do care.
I don't need that shit. I never did. It hooked me BAAAD and tricked me for 15 years but this year I turn the tables. This year for the first time in 15 years I'm doing Thanksgiving as a MAN...and it feels fucking great. Fuck kodiak, fuck nicotine, fuck being a slave, fuck it all.
Be thankful. Be thankful for you're family, you're friends, you're huge quit balls, you're FREEDOM and your life!
Quit on brothers and happy Thanks fucking Giving.