Diesel's Intro Page

[Diesel2112]

150 days...kind of a neat number of days. Like most things in life though, more than some and less than others.

How do I feel? Proud, Strong, Educated, Equipped...Good.

Am I still an addict? HATE the term, but yes.

Will I ever be cured? Nope. Can I live with that? Yep.

When I first quit did I ever think I'd make it this far? No.

When did I REALLY think I could "do this"? 70-80 days in

Why 70-80 days in? Doing "normal" things in life and sippin more ktc kool aide

Do I think I can remain quit forever? Maybe, but most concerened about tomorrow.

One thing I could see bringing me back and most on guard for? Curiosity and complacency

How do I guard against those things? By using all the tools in my quit tool box and leaning on the support of KTC.

Is my quit tool box full? No and it probably never will be. There will always be room for more tools.

Do I consider quitting a "daily struggle" now? No, I have a rough day now and then but not daily and I don't look at it as a "struggle" anymore.

Do I still fear the "nic bitch"? Not really but I know she's lurking

Thing thats improved most from day 1? Ability to think of things other than dip/quitting

Have I had a day when I did not think about dip/quitting? No but I look forward to that day because I know its coming. 150 days is still a baby quit compared to 15 yrs.

Do I think this post is too long? Maybe but I don't care.

How do I feel about Ktc now? Some days I read a lot and want to help every newb and other days I just post roll and run.

How long will I continue to post roll? I don't know, til the cows come home.

Was all the struggle and "suck" worth it? FUCKING A RIGHT!!!

[Wt57]

Just got back from 20yr high school reunion.  Had my first sip of alcohol in 133 days (was buzzing after 2 beers).  Went outside with "the smokers" many times, a couple guys were dipping.  Funny thing is I literally had no thought or urge to partake, almost like I forgot I used to do that and I SHOULD be feeling a crave or something.  In fact it wasn't until I was driving home that it dawned on me that I was around a "dipper"

New guys...hang in there.  Things get better.  If my wussy ass can get to this state of mind in 133 days,  so can you. 

I know the battles not over nor have I "won" but tonight was a nice payoff to a lot of hard work.  To me anyway...pretty damn proud of myself.

After re-reading this,  this sounds a little gay, hope nobody laughs at me. Shut up people,  let me have my moment!!!

Ok I'm drunk.  Going to bed.

Good thing is you will wake up hung over and still quit.

Effin proud of you bro!!!!!!!!! Well done!!!! 'Cheers'

Ain't no laughing here, I'm proud to be quit with you!

[kana]

Just got back from 20yr high school reunion.  Had my first sip of alcohol in 133 days (was buzzing after 2 beers).  Went outside with "the smokers" many times, a couple guys were dipping.  Funny thing is I literally had no thought or urge to partake, almost like I forgot I used to do that and I SHOULD be feeling a crave or something.  In fact it wasn't until I was driving home that it dawned on me that I was around a "dipper"

New guys...hang in there.  Things get better.  If my wussy ass can get to this state of mind in 133 days,  so can you. 

I know the battles not over nor have I "won" but tonight was a nice payoff to a lot of hard work.  To me anyway...pretty damn proud of myself.

After re-reading this,  this sounds a little gay, hope nobody laughs at me. Shut up people,  let me have my moment!!!

Ok I'm drunk.  Going to bed.

Good thing is you will wake up hung over and still quit.

Effin proud of you bro!!!!!!!!! Well done!!!! 'Cheers'

[eric71]

Just got back from 20yr high school reunion. Had my first sip of alcohol in 133 days (was buzzing after 2 beers). Went outside with "the smokers" many times, a couple guys were dipping. Funny thing is I literally had no thought or urge to partake, almost like I forgot I used to do that and I SHOULD be feeling a crave or something. In fact it wasn't until I was driving home that it dawned on me that I was around a "dipper"

New guys...hang in there. Things get better. If my wussy ass can get to this state of mind in 133 days, so can you.

I know the battles not over nor have I "won" but tonight was a nice payoff to a lot of hard work. To me anyway...pretty damn proud of myself.

After re-reading this, this sounds a little gay, hope nobody laughs at me. Shut up people, let me have my moment!!!

Ok I'm drunk. Going to bed.

Good thing is you will wake up hung over and still quit.

[Diesel2112]

Just got back from 20yr high school reunion. Had my first sip of alcohol in 133 days (was buzzing after 2 beers). Went outside with "the smokers" many times, a couple guys were dipping. Funny thing is I literally had no thought or urge to partake, almost like I forgot I used to do that and I SHOULD be feeling a crave or something. In fact it wasn't until I was driving home that it dawned on me that I was around a "dipper"

New guys...hang in there. Things get better. If my wussy ass can get to this state of mind in 133 days, so can you.

I know the battles not over nor have I "won" but tonight was a nice payoff to a lot of hard work. To me anyway...pretty damn proud of myself.

After re-reading this, this sounds a little gay, hope nobody laughs at me. Shut up people, let me have my moment!!!

Ok I'm drunk. Going to bed.

[Dr_Dirt]

Yep, day 120+ funk. Trust me, this one last a good long while. And they come and go as you go on. I'm sure some guys with many more days can probably say more funks are incoming. Just don't give in, exercise, drink lots of water, etc.

Dude. That avatar. Is. Hypnotizing. Me.

[Diesel2112]

Damn!  I thought I just had a flu bug, unrelated to my quit,  that was my original point.  I don't feel like I'm in a funk.  I slept for 9 hrs straight and am feeling better now,  even gonna try to eat something as my stomach feels better.

Maybe it is the start of the dreaded "post HOF funk".  I hope not,  but if so I'm ready for it.

Post hof funk is mostly guys being disappointed that they magically don't feel cured after the hof. 100 days is a fucking HUGE accomplishment, but there is no finish line diesel . It's just a daily decision that gets easier to make over time. the funks get further and further apart and easier and easier to deal with. I can't tell you how much better 1,000 days is compared to 100. Tell you what , keep puttin up +1's and you'll see what I mean. Most days my quit is easier than gettin laid in a women's prison with a fistful of pardons. Occasionally it's not. But the 100's of easy days make up for the one or two tricky ones. Stay the course Diesel

Sm

Thanks for the advice. I will stay the course, no doubt about it. Also I'm tired of thinking EVERYTHING is related to my quit. Some days I might just have a cold and sore throat or my allergies might be bothering me or I may get a flu bug or just not feel well.

At 122 dayd quit I'm tired of feeling scared everytime one of those things happen and trying to relate it to my quit. Like, "oh shit my throat is sore it has to be related to dipping so long". No...you simply have a sore throat, probably caught it from one of my kids or family members.

I'm just sick of being scared period and I'm not going to give into it anymore. I know I haven't "won", I know there's no finish line, I know the road ahead wont always be smooth, but fuck it. Like SM says Ill gladly take a few days of funk or whatever in exchange for 100's of days feeling good.

Ive made it 122 days...on one hand I'm proud as hell on the other bfd, not like I get to slack off or Ive "won" anything. I do know my 122 day was WAAAAAY easier than say my 15th day and I am confident as Sm says day 1000 will be way easier than day 122 and I look forward to walking that journey. I'm just not going to walk it so scared anymore.

[Skoal Monster]

Damn! I thought I just had a flu bug, unrelated to my quit, that was my original point. I don't feel like I'm in a funk. I slept for 9 hrs straight and am feeling better now, even gonna try to eat something as my stomach feels better.

Maybe it is the start of the dreaded "post HOF funk". I hope not, but if so I'm ready for it.

Post hof funk is mostly guys being disappointed that they magically don't feel cured after the hof. 100 days is a fucking HUGE accomplishment, but there is no finish line diesel . It's just a daily decision that gets easier to make over time. the funks get further and further apart and easier and easier to deal with. I can't tell you how much better 1,000 days is compared to 100. Tell you what , keep puttin up +1's and you'll see what I mean. Most days my quit is easier than gettin laid in a women's prison with a fistful of pardons. Occasionally it's not. But the 100's of easy days make up for the one or two tricky ones. Stay the course Diesel

Sm

[Diesel2112]

Damn! I thought I just had a flu bug, unrelated to my quit, that was my original point. I don't feel like I'm in a funk. I slept for 9 hrs straight and am feeling better now, even gonna try to eat something as my stomach feels better.

Maybe it is the start of the dreaded "post HOF funk". I hope not, but if so I'm ready for it.

[Kubrick]

Yep, day 120+ funk. Trust me, this one last a good long while. And they come and go as you go on. I'm sure some guys with many more days can probably say more funks are incoming. Just don't give in, exercise, drink lots of water, etc.

[wastepanel]

Day 122 quit.  Griding along nicely but last night and into this morning ive felt like SHIT.  No cravings but Sweats, multiple runs to the bathroom, constant stomach ache, tired as hell, head ache,  etc..

I'm thinking fuck I'm regressing.  ive hit some major funk,  time to get back to basics so I start doing a ton of reading and working my "tough times" plan but still...I feel like shit.  Finally,  mater of factly, my wife says "maybe you just have the flu bug".

Damn...I think she is right.  My damn brain is so on guard over the last 4 months it never dawned on me that I could simply "get sick" and not everything is related to this quit.  What a fucking dumb ass. 

Took the day off to just rest and recover like a "normal" person.  Actually feels kind of good to have a "normal people" problem and realize that not every bad feeling you have is quit related.

Diesel, I'm always saying that I'm a dumb ass and one of our friend says "WT quit saying that your not a dumb ass", he's right none if us that come here everyday and post roll fit into the dumb ass category. We have taken control away from nicotine and are winning. The dumb asses are those fools that continue to dip or those that cave!
Easy to forget we have a life that isn't part of our quit, since that is all we've been doing day in and day out. Easy sometimes to blame everything on dip or quitting dip but in doing that we give up ownership of life and life's decisions. Even using withdrawal and quitting as excuses for being assholes, we are giving up some degree of ownership for our actions. Granted our early days are rough as hell and being an ass is hard to avoid! As time progresses though we can gradually assume that power back, that the miserable addiction has robbed from us. Learning to live life as nicotine free adults is new for most of us because we started in our youth! I quit with you everyday us crazies have got to stick together. 'Crazy'

Welcome to the post HOF funk.

That's why we can never forget this shit. Time does not heal us 100%.

The funks are shorter, and they are spaced further apart, but they come back every now and then and fuck your shit up.

In times of good, we learn tools to help us cope. In times of bad, we lean on our tools we learned.

You can do this. Don't forget what how bad it was and keep your promise today. This is a mere blip in your life and will be over shortly.

[Wt57]

Day 122 quit. Griding along nicely but last night and into this morning ive felt like SHIT. No cravings but Sweats, multiple runs to the bathroom, constant stomach ache, tired as hell, head ache, etc..

I'm thinking fuck I'm regressing. ive hit some major funk, time to get back to basics so I start doing a ton of reading and working my "tough times" plan but still...I feel like shit. Finally, mater of factly, my wife says "maybe you just have the flu bug".

Damn...I think she is right. My damn brain is so on guard over the last 4 months it never dawned on me that I could simply "get sick" and not everything is related to this quit. What a fucking dumb ass.

Took the day off to just rest and recover like a "normal" person. Actually feels kind of good to have a "normal people" problem and realize that not every bad feeling you have is quit related.

Diesel, I'm always saying that I'm a dumb ass and one of our friend says "WT quit saying that your not a dumb ass", he's right none if us that come here everyday and post roll fit into the dumb ass category. We have taken control away from nicotine and are winning. The dumb asses are those fools that continue to dip or those that cave!
Easy to forget we have a life that isn't part of our quit, since that is all we've been doing day in and day out. Easy sometimes to blame everything on dip or quitting dip but in doing that we give up ownership of life and life's decisions. Even using withdrawal and quitting as excuses for being assholes, we are giving up some degree of ownership for our actions. Granted our early days are rough as hell and being an ass is hard to avoid! As time progresses though we can gradually assume that power back, that the miserable addiction has robbed from us. Learning to live life as nicotine free adults is new for most of us because we started in our youth! I quit with you everyday us crazies have got to stick together. 'Crazy'

[Diesel2112]

Day 122 quit. Griding along nicely but last night and into this morning ive felt like SHIT. No cravings but Sweats, multiple runs to the bathroom, constant stomach ache, tired as hell, head ache, etc..

I'm thinking fuck I'm regressing. ive hit some major funk, time to get back to basics so I start doing a ton of reading and working my "tough times" plan but still...I feel like shit. Finally, mater of factly, my wife says "maybe you just have the flu bug".

Damn...I think she is right. My damn brain is so on guard over the last 4 months it never dawned on me that I could simply "get sick" and not everything is related to this quit. What a fucking dumb ass.

Took the day off to just rest and recover like a "normal" person. Actually feels kind of good to have a "normal people" problem and realize that not every bad feeling you have is quit related.

[916quit]

Helped my Granny move for the past 6 hrs. Moving sucks as it seems like I'm always helping someone move...and lifting all the heavy stuff. Last year I helped my buddy move and as a "thanks" he bought me a sleeve of kodiak that I hid in the compartment that held my jack in my car. Ninja move.

One of, if not the only thing I used to "like" about moving was that dip when u were driving between old place and new. It was like a reward for a job well done and doing some real manly shit...lifting couches, stoves, refridgetators, etc. Today as I drove from old place to new the thought crossed my mind...for about 5 seconds. Then I thought "you don't chew anymore" and just kept driving back and forth without thinking about it again.

Didn't think much of it then but as I sit here at home now, I'm kinda really proud of myself and almost mark this as one of my biggest "progress points" to date. Funny how the little shit can give you the most strength sometimes.

Anyway, that's my ghey little story for today.

sleeve of kodiak- thats a nice fuck you (hahahaha)
i have not moved anyone with out a chew yet. nice job pullilng it off

[Diesel2112]

Helped my Granny move for the past 6 hrs. Moving sucks as it seems like I'm always helping someone move...and lifting all the heavy stuff. Last year I helped my buddy move and as a "thanks" he bought me a sleeve of kodiak that I hid in the compartment that held my jack in my car. Ninja move.

One of, if not the only thing I used to "like" about moving was that dip when u were driving between old place and new. It was like a reward for a job well done and doing some real manly shit...lifting couches, stoves, refridgetators, etc. Today as I drove from old place to new the thought crossed my mind...for about 5 seconds. Then I thought "you don't chew anymore" and just kept driving back and forth without thinking about it again.

Didn't think much of it then but as I sit here at home now, I'm kinda really proud of myself and almost mark this as one of my biggest "progress points" to date. Funny how the little shit can give you the most strength sometimes.

Anyway, that's my ghey little story for today.