Well, I am closing in soon on the 50 day mark. I feel great and have been feeling great for a little while. I definitely hit a huge funk at the 30 day mark. I believe however that another funk is upon me. I wouldn't have recognized it had it not been for me reading what all the vets have written on the site. I keep hearing this little voice in my head telling me that I've got this shit kicked and I don't need to waste my time logging on and posting roll everyday. It tells me that I don't need to check up on October to see how things are going for them because they don't need me there. I hear it plain as day saying you are ready to do this on your own. You got what you needed now leave the rest and quit wasting your time.
Well I know it's the cold hearted nic bitch whispering those sweet nothings in my head and I don't plan on listening. I know she is a lying and treacherous little bitch. Thank you to all the vets who posted and gave me the knowledge to know how she attacks and the tools to fight her.
Days 50-100 can be some of the hardest days. As a group the Titans will witness epic caves, members falling from roll like they have no feet, and Titans will see others pass the 100 day count while the anxiously await their turn, or they hit the HOF and wait for "what is next".
I can say that I suffered many of these and being a brother from October 2013 we saw all of the above, but the core group of us still exist here and still post roll because we have learned that it is an easy 5 second defense against the Nic Bitch and Big Tobacco and all of their little whispering lies.
Be strong, keep on doing as you are with the journal and identifying all of the little secrets that you are being whispered. Your brain is still rewiring as is mine.
P
it is cyclic with each group, don't know why other than those who just don't reach out during the toughest times, or for those who just don't want it enough, as Oct 12 was the same as Oct13 and will most likely be the same for what you and your group will go through.
Best way to keep it even keel, is to keep giving your word and honoring it, keep making the contact and connection with those you have the numbers for, even if just to say hi, and look around to absorb as much information as you can to keep your tools sharp.
be good brother, you are doing this