88-So not sure if Smokeyg was commenting about my nic bitch rant or not when he recently posted that personifying our addiction is lame, but just so we are clear the way Gollum is similar to me is that he finds this magic ring (a can of dip leaves a nice ring in your jeans pocket) and gets totally addicted to it even to the exclusion of all other things. With me so far? So then Bilbo shows up and takes the ring (no one took my dip away, I did that, but hang in there), and Gollum is a hot wet mess without it. Hell it was making him into a hot wet mess: bulging out his eyes, making his hair fall out, turning him into a frog looking mutant, etc., just generally bad for him in every way, but without it he is raging (see the connections?)! Gollum is an addict hard core, and he is looking for his fix. So I am just a couple chapters into book 4 of the LOTR series (3 novels were broken up into books) which deals with Frodo, Sam, and Gollum. Gollum is tracking the ring because he cannot stop craving it, but Frodo forces Gollum to help him as he bears the ring and can command him. He also has a sword (ok just background not really analogous). Once Gollum is forced to promise (see I knew I had a point! Promise!) his original persona is freed and we get Sméagol! Gollum is suffering from M.P.D.; he has an addict persona (Gollum) and his pre addiction persona (Sméagol) that vie for control. In the story Gollum has been an addict for centuries and therefor Sméagol is even weaker than my pre dipping self, and he is a caver for sure, but he tries for a bit to fight off the whisperings of Gollum, only he doesn't have internet access, and quitting magical rings of power support groups don't exist. I have KTC and internet access thank God. So I am Sméagol and the nic bitch is Gollum, but we are the same person. Again, not sure if Smokeyg was referencing my nic bitch rant or not, but his post on his intro got me thinking that maybe my earlier rant was not clearly stating my thoughts.
As to the visual aide of the nic bitch as a bug eyed, pancake tittied, dirty loin cloth wearin', frog woman mutant looking female version of Gollum: what can I say? I like to have a clear mental image of what a vile disgusting thing I would be hooking up with if I ever cave. I can type out a dissertation longer than the affordable (cough... cough) health care (Gollum! Gollum Gollum!) act, but when I have a crave I need a concise mental image to snap up in my mind so I can beat it back. Logic and words are great when I am cruising along on my road of quit, but when it comes to a point where I an fighting a sudden hard crave I need a quick response of revultion and anger against that part of me that is craving dip. Besides, one of the reasons I read Smokegs' thread (other than the fact that he is a bad assed quit machine) is the fact that he is funny as can be, and I try to make myself laugh when I rant here. Lets face it anyone who has seen the movies will find a female version of Gollum revoltingly funny, and 'deflated pancake titties' makes me giggle...
God, I just proof read this, and I sound like a slightly touched in the head nerd boy... Oh well hope this helps some.
