350-So it finally came time to mow the lawn again in WNY this weekend. I changed the oil, sharpened the blade, got the gas can filled, and got the spreader and weed and feed. It was a nice sunny day with enough wind to keep me from breaking a sweat on Saturday, and the first mowing of the year is kinda fun. When I was still a slave I would dip while mowing, but I never thought it was a big trigger for me. Driving, after meals, or taking a dump would have been my guesses at the biggest triggers for me, and maybe they were, but last summer the hardest trigger for me to break; the one that kept fighting me the longest was mowing the damn lawn! The oral fixation thing was always there last summer when I had to mow. I used Bacc-off fake dip the first month, and then mainly sunflower seeds, but the seeds were a pain in the ass when lawn mowing and the fake dip wouldn't last long enough so I started chawing on a big wad of fresh mint when I mowed the lawn. By sept. I had stopped needing the seeds and fake dip, but I still felt the need to chaw on mint while mowing the lawn. It pissed me off! I had a cathartic moment the last mowing of the season when I spat a large clump of chewed over mint onto my lawn and ran it over with the lawnmower repeatedly, all the while shouting obscenities in a Tourette syndrome like manner loud enough that I could hear myself over the mower and my earplugs... It was a draining experience that left my weak and trembling, but I broke my oral fixation that day. So when I was mowing my lawn for the first time of the season sat. I was also mowing for the first time since my episode last fall, and I didn't even realize this until I read rdads' post about doing yard-work all day and not once thinking about the poison... All the hell I went through last summer, all the times it was a minute by minute struggle, days I spent reading and posting on KTC because it was the only thing keeping me from caving, and all the nic free things I stuffed in my gob to distract myself from the cravings and urges... it was all so worth it! All the things in my day to day life were triggers, and some of them lingered for months, but in the end they have all passed, and a normal day for me now is crave free even when I mow the lawn.