Struggling to continue

[eric71]

Brain keeps throwing things at me, giving me reasons to cave. It's really annoying. I want to be able to justify cigars. It's not that I want a cigar right the fuck now. Don't get me wrong I do want a cigar right the fuck now. But I keep thinking if I stay quit if I am zero tolerance to myself I wont be able to smoke a cigar when my nephew is born, then that makes me think what about When I have a son. When that son kills his first buck, I wont be able to smoke a cigar with him for the first time. Wont be able to smoke with him when he graduates. at his wedding day. when he has a son.

I want those memories badly. Those are some great memories I have smoking a cigar with my dad, sitting around the campfire, talking about the hunt. My brain wants me to think I can't have those memories without cigars in them. Why can't it be whiskey? Why can't instead of breaking out a handful of 50$ cigars I dont just break out a bottle of high quality whiskey?

I dont know why I want those but I am worried about those days. I'm terrified of the cave, I'm terrified of waking up at day one in my 40's... when the desire for those memories are too strong on a drunken night of celebrating. It makes me sad to not be able to have those memories in my future, how I ruined the possibilities of those memories by putting that poison in my lip. If I could have just left it to a cigar here and there I wouldn't be where I sit today.

Weird head space today. Anyway...just wanted to type out the thoughts maybe I can leave them on paper. All these hypotheticals trying to get me to cave. If we wanna go hypotheticals lets say I have a son and I dont cave...lets say he gets married and I stay clean. Lets say he has a son...wouldn't it be better for me to see the memories he gets to make with his own son then make some romanticized unimportant memories that realistically are just mind games my nicotine obsessed brain is trying to mind fuck me with...better than laying under the dirt and him saying to his son "Well this is your grandpa, boy I remember all those fun nights sitting around a campfire smoking cigars...wasn't so fun at the hospital" Like I said weird head-space. Not caving, not even close to caving. Just...dunno...trapped in my own fucking head.

Oh dude... take a deep breath.

First things first... nicotine doesnÂ’t make memories with your dad. Or you future son. Dude I promise you that you know non cigar smoking sons and fathers that have great memories of times with each other. Nicotine doesnÂ’t make life easier. Or more fun. It doesnÂ’t make you smarter. Or happier. It gives you a quick buzz and then tricks you into thinking it makes you happy. How you feel right now is what nicotine really does to you. And one day soon you are gonnacread your post and think... whoa James, you sound like one mega fucked up junkie.

Second, we donÂ’t quit for tomorrow. Or for Grandna SallyÂ’s 100th Birthday. Or your future sons birth. We quit for today. And only for today. We canÂ’t change the past, so there is no point worrying about the past. We canÂ’t control the future, so why worry about that? But we can and do own and focus on our actions today - and today we fucking own our behavior and we celebrate our win!

You know what would make your dad happy? Imagine sitting around the fire and telling him, after a successful hunt, that you have fought your biggest opponent and won. That you are accomplishing something that only the strongest 20% of people accomplish. That you have quit nicotine. That is a moment of pride. That is winning.

Imagine looking at that future baby son and knowing that you own your decisions and choices, and you are making healthy choices that will allow you to be alive and with a jaw at his graduation and wedding. And you wonÂ’t have a big fucking lip of poison with drool running down your face while you feed him a bottle. Because James, that is what losing looks like. Losing.

Fuck nicotine. It does NOTHING for you. But it does a lot TO you. Think about that and stop romanticizing it. Exercise, sex, lots of water and healthy food, repeat. ThereÂ’s some romantic stuff there that is nicotine free. Put your passions to work and start enjoying the win.

To magnify W2W (who is a bad ass mother trucker)....... One thought that kills me is when my first son was just born 3 years ago. I was amazed.... I was exalted... I was star struck.... I was fucking tired. My beautiful wife was working her ass off taking care of our newborn. I tried to help as much as I could, but I was NOT a good baby guy. I remember sitting in his room, rocking him, reading to him, obviously with a dip in, trying to get him to fall asleep so mama could get a few more hours rest. My wife and I tried for 9 years to have children on our own to no avail... finally we made the decision for IVF and were blessed with our first son. I am sitting there, feeling blessed, thinking about all the hardship we went through, thinking about the exorbitant amount of money we spent to be parents..... and next... in this moment... this special moment... I had to spit. I put him down, he cried and I spit. Fucking selfish, fucking stupid, and I will take that moment to my grave. I am quit, you are my quit brotha and you fucking call me before a cig, a dip, a cigar, or a fucking vap. We both have way too many positive memories to make together to alleviate all the bad ones we have made with poison in our mouths. I think of every damn picture of the last 18 years and I had a freaking dip in. Always here brotha... reach out and let's do this.

While you are absorbing all this wisdom, think about the day after the cigar.

Think about the coating of tar and nicotine on the inside of your mouth and throat, and lungs.

I always loved the taste of a good cigar while I was smoking it, for about 10 minutes. I paid the price for the next 24 hours trying to clean the shite off the walls of my mouth.

Nicotine is pure evil. There is no place for it in a celebration. Stay quit. Stay here.

It's all head trash my friend. Memories are made with people you care for, not addictions. Embracing the moment fully alive with no vice hanging around to taint it. If life were meant to be lived with nicotine, we'd all have come out smoking, dipping, etc. The moment you care more about having that moment with an addiction alongside, you minimize those you care for and compromise that relationship.

[wildirish317]

Brain keeps throwing things at me, giving me reasons to cave. It's really annoying. I want to be able to justify cigars. It's not that I want a cigar right the fuck now. Don't get me wrong I do want a cigar right the fuck now. But I keep thinking if I stay quit if I am zero tolerance to myself I wont be able to smoke a cigar when my nephew is born, then that makes me think what about When I have a son. When that son kills his first buck, I wont be able to smoke a cigar with him for the first time. Wont be able to smoke with him when he graduates. at his wedding day. when he has a son.

I want those memories badly. Those are some great memories I have smoking a cigar with my dad, sitting around the campfire, talking about the hunt. My brain wants me to think I can't have those memories without cigars in them. Why can't it be whiskey? Why can't instead of breaking out a handful of 50$ cigars I dont just break out a bottle of high quality whiskey?

I dont know why I want those but I am worried about those days. I'm terrified of the cave, I'm terrified of waking up at day one in my 40's... when the desire for those memories are too strong on a drunken night of celebrating. It makes me sad to not be able to have those memories in my future, how I ruined the possibilities of those memories by putting that poison in my lip. If I could have just left it to a cigar here and there I wouldn't be where I sit today.

Weird head space today. Anyway...just wanted to type out the thoughts maybe I can leave them on paper. All these hypotheticals trying to get me to cave. If we wanna go hypotheticals lets say I have a son and I dont cave...lets say he gets married and I stay clean. Lets say he has a son...wouldn't it be better for me to see the memories he gets to make with his own son then make some romanticized unimportant memories that realistically are just mind games my nicotine obsessed brain is trying to mind fuck me with...better than laying under the dirt and him saying to his son "Well this is your grandpa, boy I remember all those fun nights sitting around a campfire smoking cigars...wasn't so fun at the hospital" Like I said weird head-space. Not caving, not even close to caving. Just...dunno...trapped in my own fucking head.

Oh dude... take a deep breath.

First things first... nicotine doesnÂ’t make memories with your dad. Or you future son. Dude I promise you that you know non cigar smoking sons and fathers that have great memories of times with each other. Nicotine doesnÂ’t make life easier. Or more fun. It doesnÂ’t make you smarter. Or happier. It gives you a quick buzz and then tricks you into thinking it makes you happy. How you feel right now is what nicotine really does to you. And one day soon you are gonnacread your post and think... whoa James, you sound like one mega fucked up junkie.

Second, we donÂ’t quit for tomorrow. Or for Grandna SallyÂ’s 100th Birthday. Or your future sons birth. We quit for today. And only for today. We canÂ’t change the past, so there is no point worrying about the past. We canÂ’t control the future, so why worry about that? But we can and do own and focus on our actions today - and today we fucking own our behavior and we celebrate our win!

You know what would make your dad happy? Imagine sitting around the fire and telling him, after a successful hunt, that you have fought your biggest opponent and won. That you are accomplishing something that only the strongest 20% of people accomplish. That you have quit nicotine. That is a moment of pride. That is winning.

Imagine looking at that future baby son and knowing that you own your decisions and choices, and you are making healthy choices that will allow you to be alive and with a jaw at his graduation and wedding. And you wonÂ’t have a big fucking lip of poison with drool running down your face while you feed him a bottle. Because James, that is what losing looks like. Losing.

Fuck nicotine. It does NOTHING for you. But it does a lot TO you. Think about that and stop romanticizing it. Exercise, sex, lots of water and healthy food, repeat. ThereÂ’s some romantic stuff there that is nicotine free. Put your passions to work and start enjoying the win.

To magnify W2W (who is a bad ass mother trucker)....... One thought that kills me is when my first son was just born 3 years ago. I was amazed.... I was exalted... I was star struck.... I was fucking tired. My beautiful wife was working her ass off taking care of our newborn. I tried to help as much as I could, but I was NOT a good baby guy. I remember sitting in his room, rocking him, reading to him, obviously with a dip in, trying to get him to fall asleep so mama could get a few more hours rest. My wife and I tried for 9 years to have children on our own to no avail... finally we made the decision for IVF and were blessed with our first son. I am sitting there, feeling blessed, thinking about all the hardship we went through, thinking about the exorbitant amount of money we spent to be parents..... and next... in this moment... this special moment... I had to spit. I put him down, he cried and I spit. Fucking selfish, fucking stupid, and I will take that moment to my grave. I am quit, you are my quit brotha and you fucking call me before a cig, a dip, a cigar, or a fucking vap. We both have way too many positive memories to make together to alleviate all the bad ones we have made with poison in our mouths. I think of every damn picture of the last 18 years and I had a freaking dip in. Always here brotha... reach out and let's do this.

While you are absorbing all this wisdom, think about the day after the cigar.

Think about the coating of tar and nicotine on the inside of your mouth and throat, and lungs.

I always loved the taste of a good cigar while I was smoking it, for about 10 minutes. I paid the price for the next 24 hours trying to clean the shite off the walls of my mouth.

Nicotine is pure evil. There is no place for it in a celebration. Stay quit. Stay here.

[Skolvikings]

Brain keeps throwing things at me, giving me reasons to cave. It's really annoying. I want to be able to justify cigars. It's not that I want a cigar right the fuck now. Don't get me wrong I do want a cigar right the fuck now. But I keep thinking if I stay quit if I am zero tolerance to myself I wont be able to smoke a cigar when my nephew is born, then that makes me think what about When I have a son. When that son kills his first buck, I wont be able to smoke a cigar with him for the first time. Wont be able to smoke with him when he graduates. at his wedding day. when he has a son.

I want those memories badly. Those are some great memories I have smoking a cigar with my dad, sitting around the campfire, talking about the hunt. My brain wants me to think I can't have those memories without cigars in them. Why can't it be whiskey? Why can't instead of breaking out a handful of 50$ cigars I dont just break out a bottle of high quality whiskey?

I dont know why I want those but I am worried about those days. I'm terrified of the cave, I'm terrified of waking up at day one in my 40's... when the desire for those memories are too strong on a drunken night of celebrating. It makes me sad to not be able to have those memories in my future, how I ruined the possibilities of those memories by putting that poison in my lip. If I could have just left it to a cigar here and there I wouldn't be where I sit today.

Weird head space today. Anyway...just wanted to type out the thoughts maybe I can leave them on paper. All these hypotheticals trying to get me to cave. If we wanna go hypotheticals lets say I have a son and I dont cave...lets say he gets married and I stay clean. Lets say he has a son...wouldn't it be better for me to see the memories he gets to make with his own son then make some romanticized unimportant memories that realistically are just mind games my nicotine obsessed brain is trying to mind fuck me with...better than laying under the dirt and him saying to his son "Well this is your grandpa, boy I remember all those fun nights sitting around a campfire smoking cigars...wasn't so fun at the hospital" Like I said weird head-space. Not caving, not even close to caving. Just...dunno...trapped in my own fucking head.

Oh dude... take a deep breath.

First things first... nicotine doesnÂ’t make memories with your dad. Or you future son. Dude I promise you that you know non cigar smoking sons and fathers that have great memories of times with each other. Nicotine doesnÂ’t make life easier. Or more fun. It doesnÂ’t make you smarter. Or happier. It gives you a quick buzz and then tricks you into thinking it makes you happy. How you feel right now is what nicotine really does to you. And one day soon you are gonnacread your post and think... whoa James, you sound like one mega fucked up junkie.

Second, we donÂ’t quit for tomorrow. Or for Grandna SallyÂ’s 100th Birthday. Or your future sons birth. We quit for today. And only for today. We canÂ’t change the past, so there is no point worrying about the past. We canÂ’t control the future, so why worry about that? But we can and do own and focus on our actions today - and today we fucking own our behavior and we celebrate our win!

You know what would make your dad happy? Imagine sitting around the fire and telling him, after a successful hunt, that you have fought your biggest opponent and won. That you are accomplishing something that only the strongest 20% of people accomplish. That you have quit nicotine. That is a moment of pride. That is winning.

Imagine looking at that future baby son and knowing that you own your decisions and choices, and you are making healthy choices that will allow you to be alive and with a jaw at his graduation and wedding. And you wonÂ’t have a big fucking lip of poison with drool running down your face while you feed him a bottle. Because James, that is what losing looks like. Losing.

Fuck nicotine. It does NOTHING for you. But it does a lot TO you. Think about that and stop romanticizing it. Exercise, sex, lots of water and healthy food, repeat. ThereÂ’s some romantic stuff there that is nicotine free. Put your passions to work and start enjoying the win.

To magnify W2W (who is a bad ass mother trucker)....... One thought that kills me is when my first son was just born 3 years ago. I was amazed.... I was exalted... I was star struck.... I was fucking tired. My beautiful wife was working her ass off taking care of our newborn. I tried to help as much as I could, but I was NOT a good baby guy. I remember sitting in his room, rocking him, reading to him, obviously with a dip in, trying to get him to fall asleep so mama could get a few more hours rest. My wife and I tried for 9 years to have children on our own to no avail... finally we made the decision for IVF and were blessed with our first son. I am sitting there, feeling blessed, thinking about all the hardship we went through, thinking about the exorbitant amount of money we spent to be parents..... and next... in this moment... this special moment... I had to spit. I put him down, he cried and I spit. Fucking selfish, fucking stupid, and I will take that moment to my grave. I am quit, you are my quit brotha and you fucking call me before a cig, a dip, a cigar, or a fucking vap. We both have way too many positive memories to make together to alleviate all the bad ones we have made with poison in our mouths. I think of every damn picture of the last 18 years and I had a freaking dip in. Always here brotha... reach out and let's do this.

[worktowin]

Brain keeps throwing things at me, giving me reasons to cave. It's really annoying. I want to be able to justify cigars. It's not that I want a cigar right the fuck now. Don't get me wrong I do want a cigar right the fuck now. But I keep thinking if I stay quit if I am zero tolerance to myself I wont be able to smoke a cigar when my nephew is born, then that makes me think what about When I have a son. When that son kills his first buck, I wont be able to smoke a cigar with him for the first time. Wont be able to smoke with him when he graduates. at his wedding day. when he has a son.

I want those memories badly. Those are some great memories I have smoking a cigar with my dad, sitting around the campfire, talking about the hunt. My brain wants me to think I can't have those memories without cigars in them. Why can't it be whiskey? Why can't instead of breaking out a handful of 50$ cigars I dont just break out a bottle of high quality whiskey?

I dont know why I want those but I am worried about those days. I'm terrified of the cave, I'm terrified of waking up at day one in my 40's... when the desire for those memories are too strong on a drunken night of celebrating. It makes me sad to not be able to have those memories in my future, how I ruined the possibilities of those memories by putting that poison in my lip. If I could have just left it to a cigar here and there I wouldn't be where I sit today.

Weird head space today. Anyway...just wanted to type out the thoughts maybe I can leave them on paper. All these hypotheticals trying to get me to cave. If we wanna go hypotheticals lets say I have a son and I dont cave...lets say he gets married and I stay clean. Lets say he has a son...wouldn't it be better for me to see the memories he gets to make with his own son then make some romanticized unimportant memories that realistically are just mind games my nicotine obsessed brain is trying to mind fuck me with...better than laying under the dirt and him saying to his son "Well this is your grandpa, boy I remember all those fun nights sitting around a campfire smoking cigars...wasn't so fun at the hospital" Like I said weird head-space. Not caving, not even close to caving. Just...dunno...trapped in my own fucking head.

Oh dude... take a deep breath.

First things first... nicotine doesnÂ’t make memories with your dad. Or you future son. Dude I promise you that you know non cigar smoking sons and fathers that have great memories of times with each other. Nicotine doesnÂ’t make life easier. Or more fun. It doesnÂ’t make you smarter. Or happier. It gives you a quick buzz and then tricks you into thinking it makes you happy. How you feel right now is what nicotine really does to you. And one day soon you are gonnacread your post and think... whoa James, you sound like one mega fucked up junkie.

Second, we donÂ’t quit for tomorrow. Or for Grandna SallyÂ’s 100th Birthday. Or your future sons birth. We quit for today. And only for today. We canÂ’t change the past, so there is no point worrying about the past. We canÂ’t control the future, so why worry about that? But we can and do own and focus on our actions today - and today we fucking own our behavior and we celebrate our win!

You know what would make your dad happy? Imagine sitting around the fire and telling him, after a successful hunt, that you have fought your biggest opponent and won. That you are accomplishing something that only the strongest 20% of people accomplish. That you have quit nicotine. That is a moment of pride. That is winning.

Imagine looking at that future baby son and knowing that you own your decisions and choices, and you are making healthy choices that will allow you to be alive and with a jaw at his graduation and wedding. And you wonÂ’t have a big fucking lip of poison with drool running down your face while you feed him a bottle. Because James, that is what losing looks like. Losing.

Fuck nicotine. It does NOTHING for you. But it does a lot TO you. Think about that and stop romanticizing it. Exercise, sex, lots of water and healthy food, repeat. ThereÂ’s some romantic stuff there that is nicotine free. Put your passions to work and start enjoying the win.

[Gromo]

Brain keeps throwing things at me, giving me reasons to cave. It's really annoying. I want to be able to justify cigars. It's not that I want a cigar right the fuck now. Don't get me wrong I do want a cigar right the fuck now. But I keep thinking if I stay quit if I am zero tolerance to myself I wont be able to smoke a cigar when my nephew is born, then that makes me think what about When I have a son. When that son kills his first buck, I wont be able to smoke a cigar with him for the first time. Wont be able to smoke with him when he graduates. at his wedding day. when he has a son.

I want those memories badly. Those are some great memories I have smoking a cigar with my dad, sitting around the campfire, talking about the hunt. My brain wants me to think I can't have those memories without cigars in them. Why can't it be whiskey? Why can't instead of breaking out a handful of 50$ cigars I dont just break out a bottle of high quality whiskey?

I dont know why I want those but I am worried about those days. I'm terrified of the cave, I'm terrified of waking up at day one in my 40's... when the desire for those memories are too strong on a drunken night of celebrating. It makes me sad to not be able to have those memories in my future, how I ruined the possibilities of those memories by putting that poison in my lip. If I could have just left it to a cigar here and there I wouldn't be where I sit today.

Weird head space today. Anyway...just wanted to type out the thoughts maybe I can leave them on paper. All these hypotheticals trying to get me to cave. If we wanna go hypotheticals lets say I have a son and I dont cave...lets say he gets married and I stay clean. Lets say he has a son...wouldn't it be better for me to see the memories he gets to make with his own son then make some romanticized unimportant memories that realistically are just mind games my nicotine obsessed brain is trying to mind fuck me with...better than laying under the dirt and him saying to his son "Well this is your grandpa, boy I remember all those fun nights sitting around a campfire smoking cigars...wasn't so fun at the hospital" Like I said weird head-space. Not caving, not even close to caving. Just...dunno...trapped in my own fucking head.

[eric71]

Keep going brother! No one will ever tell you that they regretted quitting tobacco regardless of how hard the first few weeks were. 24 hours and one day at a time. You can do this!

The stronger the suck, the stronger the quitter. Embrace it! Problem = one, problem + nic= 2 problems

[Stranger999]

Keep going brother! No one will ever tell you that they regretted quitting tobacco regardless of how hard the first few weeks were. 24 hours and one day at a time. You can do this!

[Gromo]

'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'trainwreck'
'jerk' 'jerk' 'blowup' 'blowup' 'blowup' 'blowup' 'shock' 'shock' 'spin' 'spin' :fbmiddle: :fbmiddle:

[Gromo]

I swear to God...one more thing I'm gonna fuckin murder someone today lol. First a pipe breaks. Have to shut off all water to the house...luckily I cought it in about two minutes. Bought a new welcome mat and it saved me several Gs on buying a new pump.... Then the fridge that I got fucking fixed Today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is leaking water again. And I gotta wait til tomorrow to fucking yell at someone.

There are days that just suck. Sure sounds like yesterday was one of them!

Nicotine doesnÂ’t help fix pipes or refrigerators. It will help you withdraw from reality for a few minutes, and it will kill you if you use it long enough. Life is a roller coaster full of ups and downs. Nicotine dulls both the highs and the lows. It seems so hard at first to face these challenging moments (lows) and joyous moments (highs) because our brain isnÂ’t used to these emotions. One day at a time youÂ’ll get there.

Good luck with the repairs today.

I'm gonna need that luck. threw a bandaid on the pipe and got it fixed. Had to replace the damn thing anyway, so it just made it to first on the list. Just fried. No energy to do what needs to get done. Slacking off at work, gotta go yell at someone after work and I'm not even looking forward to it. LOL

[worktowin]

I swear to God...one more thing I'm gonna fuckin murder someone today lol. First a pipe breaks. Have to shut off all water to the house...luckily I cought it in about two minutes. Bought a new welcome mat and it saved me several Gs on buying a new pump.... Then the fridge that I got fucking fixed Today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is leaking water again. And I gotta wait til tomorrow to fucking yell at someone.

There are days that just suck. Sure sounds like yesterday was one of them!

Nicotine doesnÂ’t help fix pipes or refrigerators. It will help you withdraw from reality for a few minutes, and it will kill you if you use it long enough. Life is a roller coaster full of ups and downs. Nicotine dulls both the highs and the lows. It seems so hard at first to face these challenging moments (lows) and joyous moments (highs) because our brain isnÂ’t used to these emotions. One day at a time youÂ’ll get there.

Good luck with the repairs today.

[Gromo]

I swear to God...one more thing I'm gonna fuckin murder someone today lol. First a pipe breaks. Have to shut off all water to the house...luckily I cought it in about two minutes. Bought a new welcome mat and it saved me several Gs on buying a new pump.... Then the fridge that I got fucking fixed Today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is leaking water again. And I gotta wait til tomorrow to fucking yell at someone.

[wildirish317]

Where do I start? The The Law of Addiction is a good place.

Also, there's a quitter named Rawls. If you are lucky, he will bless you with his presence. If not, you can find him here.

Welcome to our journey. Stay with us. Quit for today, don't lose sight of today.

[worktowin]

I wanted to thank you guys for making me see the light and join a group.

'boob'

Heres some tits to show my appreciation.

If anyone ever needs to talk through shit or just wants to bullshit, I'll always respond to my inbox.

^^ glad you're on board, you will never regret quitting

I'm starting to finally realize I can't do it on my own because if I could I'd be 2-3-6-7-10 years clean right now. I've had the same exact results every time that I've attempted to quit. Every time. I get drunk I smoke a cigarette/cigar. its a one time thing wont happen again, a month down the road I get drunk smoke a cigarette, shit alright well its ok to smoke one when I'm drunk, a month down the road now I'm chain smoking when I drink. another couple weeks I'm smoking when I'm not drinking. a couple weeks I'm hiding spitters from my wife. a couple weeks later she finds one so I'm chewing in front of her after a couple hours of arguing. But only one a day, hardly counts righhtt? and then its only after work and after the gym. and then its only lunch after work and after the gym. then I'm back to a tin a day and slowly committing suicide. I honestly do not even know how I did not notice what the fuck I was doing. EACH TIME. Caving once makes it easier to cave the second, third, tenth fiftieth times...each growing exponentially easier to cave until your standing in line pointing out the right fucking can to the cashier and saying "Eh let me just get a log"

Quitting as a team is so much easier and more fun than quitting alone.

Welcome to a winning team, sir.

[Gromo]

I wanted to thank you guys for making me see the light and join a group.

'boob'

Heres some tits to show my appreciation.

If anyone ever needs to talk through shit or just wants to bullshit, I'll always respond to my inbox.

^^ glad you're on board, you will never regret quitting

I'm starting to finally realize I can't do it on my own because if I could I'd be 2-3-6-7-10 years clean right now. I've had the same exact results every time that I've attempted to quit. Every time. I get drunk I smoke a cigarette/cigar. its a one time thing wont happen again, a month down the road I get drunk smoke a cigarette, shit alright well its ok to smoke one when I'm drunk, a month down the road now I'm chain smoking when I drink. another couple weeks I'm smoking when I'm not drinking. a couple weeks I'm hiding spitters from my wife. a couple weeks later she finds one so I'm chewing in front of her after a couple hours of arguing. But only one a day, hardly counts righhtt? and then its only after work and after the gym. and then its only lunch after work and after the gym. then I'm back to a tin a day and slowly committing suicide. I honestly do not even know how I did not notice what the fuck I was doing. EACH TIME. Caving once makes it easier to cave the second, third, tenth fiftieth times...each growing exponentially easier to cave until your standing in line pointing out the right fucking can to the cashier and saying "Eh let me just get a log"

[Idaho Spuds]

I wanted to thank you guys for making me see the light and join a group.

'boob'

Heres some tits to show my appreciation.

If anyone ever needs to talk through shit or just wants to bullshit, I'll always respond to my inbox.

^^ glad you're on board, you will never regret quitting