Posted this on the Feb 12 quit thread, decided to copy here for future reference.
Srodman, I here you buddy. Yesterday was the first big test in terms of craves. First serious craves of the Quit, but I never wavered. I find if you embrace the fact that you're just going to deal with some serious shit...kinda like when you feel a bad cold or the flu coming on and you know their ain't shit you can do about it except deal with it...it's not THAT bad to just suck it up, take it like a man, and deal. Don't get me wrong: I was well aware of the fact that the nic bitch was screaming and pounding on my door begging for another romp like a cock-starved ex, but like my ex, I didn't even think about lettin' her in.
This may sound kinda fucked up, but I'm actually kinda relishing my quit. Embracing the suck if you will. I'm a highly competitive and somewhat masochistic sumbitch anyway, so when I feel those craves I get into a different head space. I turn on this FUCK YOU switch and roll with it.
I have to say last night DID suck. Woke up at 2 a.m. thinking about this fucking forum and just could not get the QUIT out of my head. I bet I tossed and turned for hours. I almost woke my girlfriend up to tell her what was going on, but I just don't have time to really talk it out after dropping a bomb on her (that I've been lying about my nicotine addiction since we met), so I'm going to hold off till Sunday when we both have more time to spend together. Then I'll come clean and the Quit will step up to another level. I'll have another person to be accountable to besides all you assholes.
Feeling GREAT today. Really starting to notice the difference on Day 4. I know I've got a long way to go, there will be ups and downs, but each day is a day of freedom, and so for that I'm grateful EVERY DAY.
