Quitting

[FMBM707]

Update: surgery 'went well' but tumor found in middle of throat, gets to go home Friday or Saturday but has to come back in 2 weeks for another surgery to remove left lymph node and possibly the thyroid.

This could have been/ could be any of us. And for what? A fucking weed.

[AppleJack]

To clarify a few things:

He was still dipping.

He started losing a bunch of weight and noticed a huge lump in his neck.

3 weeks ago he got it checked out.

2 weeks ago they said it's cancer.

He quit dipping.

Today he has surgery, then he starts chemo and radiation

A sobering reminder of just one of the reasons we are here everyday. I haven't posted here since you came back Steve but I am glad you sacked up and are here again. For good I hope. I'll quit for you and J today bro.

My boss of 20 years retired 6 months ago... officially began his retirement 2 months ago after training his replacement and easing the transition.

He died last night.

Cancer.

Fuck cancer.

Prayers and good vibes to your friend and his fam.

[rdad]

To clarify a few things:

He was still dipping.

He started losing a bunch of weight and noticed a huge lump in his neck.

3 weeks ago he got it checked out.

2 weeks ago they said it's cancer.

He quit dipping.

Today he has surgery, then he starts chemo and radiation

A sobering reminder of just one of the reasons we are here everyday. I haven't posted here since you came back Steve but I am glad you sacked up and are here again. For good I hope. I'll quit for you and J today bro.

[FMBM707]

To clarify a few things:

He was still dipping.

He started losing a bunch of weight and noticed a huge lump in his neck.

3 weeks ago he got it checked out.

2 weeks ago they said it's cancer.

He quit dipping.

Today he has surgery, then he starts chemo and radiation

[FMBM707]

June 14th, 2016

Woke up today to a text that a friend of mine is having surgery for throat cancer. Fucking throat cancer.

This guy is married, has 3 young kids, is tremendously successful, extremely intelligent, great soccer player, a great guy and cancer doesn't give two shits about any of that.

He's been a long time user of smokeless tobacco. I use the word smokeless tobacco because like many of us we've abused that shit in all different kinds of forms and he was no different (snus, dip, pouches etc.).

I moved from the StL 5 years ago so I don't see or talk to him as much as I used to so I can't say if he did end up quitting in the past couple of years or not. When I have seen him or talked to him that isn't something that's discussed.

I can say I know he's tried to quit before and the times I remember were always using NRTs. It was always with patches or nic gum. Those things did stop him from dipping for awhile but he always ended up back to dipping. Because no matter what the 'research' says from those companies that have spent billions of dollars developing and marketing NRTs that fact remains NRTs are an ineffective method to quit and more importantly to REMAIN quit. I know plenty of people who have tried using NRTs to quit. I know of no one that it worked for any sort of extended time. Conversely, look around these pages of cold turkey quitters.

I've read the stories, the well documented ones like the heart wrenching Jenny and Tom Kern's story, the sad story of Randy and His Cancer numerous times and many others and can't help feeling how this is going to play out.

Guard those quits. Pray for my friend J and his family. Talk to a buddy today that you know dips/chews and let them know if they ever think about quitting to check out KTC.

You never think this shit is going to hit close to home until it does.

[CavMan83]

"Success IS THE SUM of small efforts REPEATED DAY IN and DAY OUT" R. Collier

Today I'm committing to making small positive efforts.

It was about a year ago when I said fuck it and caved. A year. I didn't abuse nicotine everyday in that year but I did abuse it enough and it was getting worse. For seem reason posting 37 days today it struck me how fast the quit days are piling up.

I ask "Can I really be on day 37 already? I just quit in May." I find myself double checking to make sure it's right and sure enough those singular days have added up to over a month. That one day, that singular activity repeated over time is what adds up to success.

These small efforts can be made in more than just quitting. It can be done with diet, exercise, work, relationships, learning a new skill etc. Skip the soda, drink a water instead. Change out 30 minutes on the computer or in front of the TV and go for a walk or a jog. Get into work 15 minutes earlier or for those who work too much, knock off 15 minutes early.

With all of these the singular act may not make an immediate noticeable positive result but over time the results will be there.

THE RESULTS I'M SEEKING WILL FIND ME
I'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow. I know if I focus on the process of making small positive steps today the results will be there. I know that if I continue to make these small efforts every damn day, tomorrow will take care of itself because the results I'm seeking will find me.

With any journey the most important step is the first.

Quit on.

913 days into my quit and I still say, "has it really been that long?!" The thing is, I still take it one day at a time...and when you look at it that way, 24 hours is 24 hours whether you're on day 10 or day 1,000. So, in some sense, I don't pay attention to the number any more...I still just worry about being quit for me.

Stevo.....

I have to tell you I was genuinely shocked a year or so ago when you decided to go off the reservation, and was genuinely happy, not only for you, but for the rest of the KTC population, when you finally had that cranial-rectal extraction and came back. I also have to agree completely with Andy... it's less and less about the number, and more and more about the freedom. I just passed two years Friday, and while that seems huge, stop and compare it with the nearly FORTY I was a friggin' dumbass. The only day that truly counts, though, is today. And for today, you, he, and countless others on these pages are quit. Crushin' that addiction one day after the other. That's how quits are built.

Again, glad you're back....you were indispensable earlier on to so many others. You can be so again.

[Steakbomb18]

"Success IS THE SUM of small efforts REPEATED DAY IN and DAY OUT" R. Collier

Today I'm committing to making small positive efforts.

It was about a year ago when I said fuck it and caved. A year. I didn't abuse nicotine everyday in that year but I did abuse it enough and it was getting worse. For seem reason posting 37 days today it struck me how fast the quit days are piling up.

I ask "Can I really be on day 37 already? I just quit in May." I find myself double checking to make sure it's right and sure enough those singular days have added up to over a month. That one day, that singular activity repeated over time is what adds up to success.

These small efforts can be made in more than just quitting. It can be done with diet, exercise, work, relationships, learning a new skill etc. Skip the soda, drink a water instead. Change out 30 minutes on the computer or in front of the TV and go for a walk or a jog. Get into work 15 minutes earlier or for those who work too much, knock off 15 minutes early.

With all of these the singular act may not make an immediate noticeable positive result but over time the results will be there.

THE RESULTS I'M SEEKING WILL FIND ME
I'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow. I know if I focus on the process of making small positive steps today the results will be there. I know that if I continue to make these small efforts every damn day, tomorrow will take care of itself because the results I'm seeking will find me.

With any journey the most important step is the first.

Quit on.

913 days into my quit and I still say, "has it really been that long?!" The thing is, I still take it one day at a time...and when you look at it that way, 24 hours is 24 hours whether you're on day 10 or day 1,000. So, in some sense, I don't pay attention to the number any more...I still just worry about being quit for me.

[FMBM707]

"Success IS THE SUM of small efforts REPEATED DAY IN and DAY OUT" R. Collier

Today I'm committing to making small positive efforts.

It was about a year ago when I said fuck it and caved. A year. I didn't abuse nicotine everyday in that year but I did abuse it enough and it was getting worse. For seem reason posting 37 days today it struck me how fast the quit days are piling up.

I ask "Can I really be on day 37 already? I just quit in May." I find myself double checking to make sure it's right and sure enough those singular days have added up to over a month. That one day, that singular activity repeated over time is what adds up to success.

These small efforts can be made in more than just quitting. It can be done with diet, exercise, work, relationships, learning a new skill etc. Skip the soda, drink a water instead. Change out 30 minutes on the computer or in front of the TV and go for a walk or a jog. Get into work 15 minutes earlier or for those who work too much, knock off 15 minutes early.

With all of these the singular act may not make an immediate noticeable positive result but over time the results will be there.

THE RESULTS I'M SEEKING WILL FIND ME
I'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow. I know if I focus on the process of making small positive steps today the results will be there. I know that if I continue to make these small efforts every damn day, tomorrow will take care of itself because the results I'm seeking will find me.

With any journey the most important step is the first.

Quit on.

[AppleJack]

I'm sorry this happened to you man, but I'm glad we have had you in our group for better or worse, you've helped me personally quite a bit.

Also physiologically I think FMBM is right about your brain being permanently more receptive to the stuff, but I see diesels perspective too from a psychological standpoint. The question I have for you guys as someone only on day 13 is, if you follow diesels line of thinking, doesn't it become easier to become complacent/think you have won and drop your guard? I understand at a certain point it may feel good to say you're an ex-addict, I have just been repeatedly told that you will never truly win and that thinking you've won can be trouble. So I guess I just need some insight on that if you have a few free moment diesel. Thanks.

A couple things...

1) This didn't "happen" to FMBM... he CHOSE to cave. He wasn't a victim, it was his choice. Huuuge difference.

2) D's state of mind comes with time and distance and, imo, is spot on. The further you remove yourself from the trauma you induced upon yourself through addiction, the stronger your mind becomes as its washed in freedom. Freedom you will NEVER relinquish. Right now, at your stage... don't worry about it. Fight your daily battle and don't look beyond that. It's not good for you. Everyone is different so find your own path and don't sweat a time frame... now is enough.

And... you CAN win.

Addiction does NOT define you.

What you do about it does.

We win every day.

Every. Day.

Stack enough of those up and that's your new norm.

I'm 1,128 days in and can say, without hesitation... I've won.

You'll get there, man. You will.

Thanks Med for the kind words about helping and being in the group. Keep up the good work you are doing for the guys in August as well! You are making a difference.

AppleJack is 100% right. It was a choice, it didn't happen to me. I made the choice to say fuck it and therefore I live with the consequences of that choice. That's why they make rearview mirrors so much smaller than windshields.

As for the thinking aspect of it. Believe what you need to believe at that particular time in your quit as long as it keeps the nicotine out of your body. Right now I don't have the perspective they have in relation to the # of quit days they have under their belt without using nicotine. They are going to see thing differently and I'm fucking glad to hear it.

My hope is when I get to that level of quit I feel the way they do.

Right now I continue to find myself reading the Tom Kern story and the Sean Marsee story. I've read both numerous times before but I read them again today along with some Jenny Kerns replies/posts etc. It reinforces the why.

Med- hit me up anytime I can help.

FMBM....I must say, it's refreshing to see your attitude instead of the usual whiney shit we usually see...

The victim excuse.

You're owning it without any of the typical bravado. I respect that.

Fully.

Owning it one day at a time, whether it be in a crotchety or a happy way.

Yep, now, get off my lawn!

[FMBM707]

I'm sorry this happened to you man, but I'm glad we have had you in our group for better or worse, you've helped me personally quite a bit.

Also physiologically I think FMBM is right about your brain being permanently more receptive to the stuff, but I see diesels perspective too from a psychological standpoint. The question I have for you guys as someone only on day 13 is, if you follow diesels line of thinking, doesn't it become easier to become complacent/think you have won and drop your guard? I understand at a certain point it may feel good to say you're an ex-addict, I have just been repeatedly told that you will never truly win and that thinking you've won can be trouble. So I guess I just need some insight on that if you have a few free moment diesel. Thanks.

A couple things...

1) This didn't "happen" to FMBM... he CHOSE to cave. He wasn't a victim, it was his choice. Huuuge difference.

2) D's state of mind comes with time and distance and, imo, is spot on. The further you remove yourself from the trauma you induced upon yourself through addiction, the stronger your mind becomes as its washed in freedom. Freedom you will NEVER relinquish. Right now, at your stage... don't worry about it. Fight your daily battle and don't look beyond that. It's not good for you. Everyone is different so find your own path and don't sweat a time frame... now is enough.

And... you CAN win.

Addiction does NOT define you.

What you do about it does.

We win every day.

Every. Day.

Stack enough of those up and that's your new norm.

I'm 1,128 days in and can say, without hesitation... I've won.

You'll get there, man. You will.

Thanks Med for the kind words about helping and being in the group. Keep up the good work you are doing for the guys in August as well! You are making a difference.

AppleJack is 100% right. It was a choice, it didn't happen to me. I made the choice to say fuck it and therefore I live with the consequences of that choice. That's why they make rearview mirrors so much smaller than windshields.

As for the thinking aspect of it. Believe what you need to believe at that particular time in your quit as long as it keeps the nicotine out of your body. Right now I don't have the perspective they have in relation to the # of quit days they have under their belt without using nicotine. They are going to see thing differently and I'm fucking glad to hear it.

My hope is when I get to that level of quit I feel the way they do.

Right now I continue to find myself reading the Tom Kern story and the Sean Marsee story. I've read both numerous times before but I read them again today along with some Jenny Kerns replies/posts etc. It reinforces the why.

Med- hit me up anytime I can help.

FMBM....I must say, it's refreshing to see your attitude instead of the usual whiney shit we usually see...

The victim excuse.

You're owning it without any of the typical bravado. I respect that.

Fully.

Owning it one day at a time, whether it be in a crotchety or a happy way.

[FMBM707]

I'm sorry this happened to you man, but I'm glad we have had you in our group for better or worse, you've helped me personally quite a bit.

Also physiologically I think FMBM is right about your brain being permanently more receptive to the stuff, but I see diesels perspective too from a psychological standpoint. The question I have for you guys as someone only on day 13 is, if you follow diesels line of thinking, doesn't it become easier to become complacent/think you have won and drop your guard? I understand at a certain point it may feel good to say you're an ex-addict, I have just been repeatedly told that you will never truly win and that thinking you've won can be trouble. So I guess I just need some insight on that if you have a few free moment diesel. Thanks.

A couple things...

1) This didn't "happen" to FMBM... he CHOSE to cave. He wasn't a victim, it was his choice. Huuuge difference.

2) D's state of mind comes with time and distance and, imo, is spot on. The further you remove yourself from the trauma you induced upon yourself through addiction, the stronger your mind becomes as its washed in freedom. Freedom you will NEVER relinquish. Right now, at your stage... don't worry about it. Fight your daily battle and don't look beyond that. It's not good for you. Everyone is different so find your own path and don't sweat a time frame... now is enough.

And... you CAN win.

Addiction does NOT define you.

What you do about it does.

We win every day.

Every. Day.

Stack enough of those up and that's your new norm.

I'm 1,128 days in and can say, without hesitation... I've won.

You'll get there, man. You will.

A-Jack is right. It definitely takes time and you being on day 13...just worry about winning the day.

You will only get complacent, if you let yourself. I'm closing in on 4 years. Am I complacent? I don't know. I'm simply quit and I must tell you...it's pretty fucking easy.

Addict or "EX Addict"...you should never forget your battle and where you came from. Not letting addiction define you, doesn't mean forgetting. Nicotine carved neuro pathways into your brain. Now it's time to carve a pathway of quit.

Being told you can never truly win at somethin sounds like a fucking drag. As if for the rest of your life...even if you never use nicotine again, you're still going to be dragging a ball and chain around. Like you're marked with a scarlet "A" for ADDICT and you will bare that for all to see for the rest of your days.

FUCK THAT SHIT. Like AJ said...win the day and over time you become a mother fucking WINNER. Not an addict.

Maybe over time you start to slip a little bit or maybe you get the "fuck its". That's when you draw on the "quit grooves" in your brain and remember the struggle it took to get here. You can also come back to this site and lean on it. Chronicle your struggles and triumphs here and then use them to brush up on your quit, if need be.

I was always told, you can accomplish ANYTHING if you put your mind to it. I don't remember anyone ever putting the caviar on it..."unless you try to beat addiction. You can never do that".

Fuck that. You can win. You WILL win.

Quit on...

I like it Diesel and by all means it feels like I'm winning everyday I don't use nicotine.

[Diesel2112]

I'm sorry this happened to you man, but I'm glad we have had you in our group for better or worse, you've helped me personally quite a bit.

Also physiologically I think FMBM is right about your brain being permanently more receptive to the stuff, but I see diesels perspective too from a psychological standpoint. The question I have for you guys as someone only on day 13 is, if you follow diesels line of thinking, doesn't it become easier to become complacent/think you have won and drop your guard? I understand at a certain point it may feel good to say you're an ex-addict, I have just been repeatedly told that you will never truly win and that thinking you've won can be trouble. So I guess I just need some insight on that if you have a few free moment diesel. Thanks.

A couple things...

1) This didn't "happen" to FMBM... he CHOSE to cave. He wasn't a victim, it was his choice. Huuuge difference.

2) D's state of mind comes with time and distance and, imo, is spot on. The further you remove yourself from the trauma you induced upon yourself through addiction, the stronger your mind becomes as its washed in freedom. Freedom you will NEVER relinquish. Right now, at your stage... don't worry about it. Fight your daily battle and don't look beyond that. It's not good for you. Everyone is different so find your own path and don't sweat a time frame... now is enough.

And... you CAN win.

Addiction does NOT define you.

What you do about it does.

We win every day.

Every. Day.

Stack enough of those up and that's your new norm.

I'm 1,128 days in and can say, without hesitation... I've won.

You'll get there, man. You will.

A-Jack is right. It definitely takes time and you being on day 13...just worry about winning the day.

You will only get complacent, if you let yourself. I'm closing in on 4 years. Am I complacent? I don't know. I'm simply quit and I must tell you...it's pretty fucking easy.

Addict or "EX Addict"...you should never forget your battle and where you came from. Not letting addiction define you, doesn't mean forgetting. Nicotine carved neuro pathways into your brain. Now it's time to carve a pathway of quit.

Being told you can never truly win at somethin sounds like a fucking drag. As if for the rest of your life...even if you never use nicotine again, you're still going to be dragging a ball and chain around. Like you're marked with a scarlet "A" for ADDICT and you will bare that for all to see for the rest of your days.

FUCK THAT SHIT. Like AJ said...win the day and over time you become a mother fucking WINNER. Not an addict.

Maybe over time you start to slip a little bit or maybe you get the "fuck its". That's when you draw on the "quit grooves" in your brain and remember the struggle it took to get here. You can also come back to this site and lean on it. Chronicle your struggles and triumphs here and then use them to brush up on your quit, if need be.

I was always told, you can accomplish ANYTHING if you put your mind to it. I don't remember anyone ever putting the caviar on it..."unless you try to beat addiction. You can never do that".

Fuck that. You can win. You WILL win.

Quit on...

[AppleJack]

I'm sorry this happened to you man, but I'm glad we have had you in our group for better or worse, you've helped me personally quite a bit.

Also physiologically I think FMBM is right about your brain being permanently more receptive to the stuff, but I see diesels perspective too from a psychological standpoint. The question I have for you guys as someone only on day 13 is, if you follow diesels line of thinking, doesn't it become easier to become complacent/think you have won and drop your guard? I understand at a certain point it may feel good to say you're an ex-addict, I have just been repeatedly told that you will never truly win and that thinking you've won can be trouble. So I guess I just need some insight on that if you have a few free moment diesel. Thanks.

A couple things...

1) This didn't "happen" to FMBM... he CHOSE to cave. He wasn't a victim, it was his choice. Huuuge difference.

2) D's state of mind comes with time and distance and, imo, is spot on. The further you remove yourself from the trauma you induced upon yourself through addiction, the stronger your mind becomes as its washed in freedom. Freedom you will NEVER relinquish. Right now, at your stage... don't worry about it. Fight your daily battle and don't look beyond that. It's not good for you. Everyone is different so find your own path and don't sweat a time frame... now is enough.

And... you CAN win.

Addiction does NOT define you.

What you do about it does.

We win every day.

Every. Day.

Stack enough of those up and that's your new norm.

I'm 1,128 days in and can say, without hesitation... I've won.

You'll get there, man. You will.

Thanks Med for the kind words about helping and being in the group. Keep up the good work you are doing for the guys in August as well! You are making a difference.

AppleJack is 100% right. It was a choice, it didn't happen to me. I made the choice to say fuck it and therefore I live with the consequences of that choice. That's why they make rearview mirrors so much smaller than windshields.

As for the thinking aspect of it. Believe what you need to believe at that particular time in your quit as long as it keeps the nicotine out of your body. Right now I don't have the perspective they have in relation to the # of quit days they have under their belt without using nicotine. They are going to see thing differently and I'm fucking glad to hear it.

My hope is when I get to that level of quit I feel the way they do.

Right now I continue to find myself reading the Tom Kern story and the Sean Marsee story. I've read both numerous times before but I read them again today along with some Jenny Kerns replies/posts etc. It reinforces the why.

Med- hit me up anytime I can help.

FMBM....I must say, it's refreshing to see your attitude instead of the usual whiney shit we usually see...

The victim excuse.

You're owning it without any of the typical bravado. I respect that.

Fully.

And AJ doesn't give props easily.

Yeah, I'm a crotchety old fart 'winker'

[ChristopherJ]

I'm sorry this happened to you man, but I'm glad we have had you in our group for better or worse, you've helped me personally quite a bit.

Also physiologically I think FMBM is right about your brain being permanently more receptive to the stuff, but I see diesels perspective too from a psychological standpoint. The question I have for you guys as someone only on day 13 is, if you follow diesels line of thinking, doesn't it become easier to become complacent/think you have won and drop your guard? I understand at a certain point it may feel good to say you're an ex-addict, I have just been repeatedly told that you will never truly win and that thinking you've won can be trouble. So I guess I just need some insight on that if you have a few free moment diesel. Thanks.

A couple things...

1) This didn't "happen" to FMBM... he CHOSE to cave. He wasn't a victim, it was his choice. Huuuge difference.

2) D's state of mind comes with time and distance and, imo, is spot on. The further you remove yourself from the trauma you induced upon yourself through addiction, the stronger your mind becomes as its washed in freedom. Freedom you will NEVER relinquish. Right now, at your stage... don't worry about it. Fight your daily battle and don't look beyond that. It's not good for you. Everyone is different so find your own path and don't sweat a time frame... now is enough.

And... you CAN win.

Addiction does NOT define you.

What you do about it does.

We win every day.

Every. Day.

Stack enough of those up and that's your new norm.

I'm 1,128 days in and can say, without hesitation... I've won.

You'll get there, man. You will.

Thanks Med for the kind words about helping and being in the group. Keep up the good work you are doing for the guys in August as well! You are making a difference.

AppleJack is 100% right. It was a choice, it didn't happen to me. I made the choice to say fuck it and therefore I live with the consequences of that choice. That's why they make rearview mirrors so much smaller than windshields.

As for the thinking aspect of it. Believe what you need to believe at that particular time in your quit as long as it keeps the nicotine out of your body. Right now I don't have the perspective they have in relation to the # of quit days they have under their belt without using nicotine. They are going to see thing differently and I'm fucking glad to hear it.

My hope is when I get to that level of quit I feel the way they do.

Right now I continue to find myself reading the Tom Kern story and the Sean Marsee story. I've read both numerous times before but I read them again today along with some Jenny Kerns replies/posts etc. It reinforces the why.

Med- hit me up anytime I can help.

FMBM....I must say, it's refreshing to see your attitude instead of the usual whiney shit we usually see...

The victim excuse.

You're owning it without any of the typical bravado. I respect that.

Fully.

And AJ doesn't give props easily.

[AppleJack]

I'm sorry this happened to you man, but I'm glad we have had you in our group for better or worse, you've helped me personally quite a bit.

Also physiologically I think FMBM is right about your brain being permanently more receptive to the stuff, but I see diesels perspective too from a psychological standpoint. The question I have for you guys as someone only on day 13 is, if you follow diesels line of thinking, doesn't it become easier to become complacent/think you have won and drop your guard? I understand at a certain point it may feel good to say you're an ex-addict, I have just been repeatedly told that you will never truly win and that thinking you've won can be trouble. So I guess I just need some insight on that if you have a few free moment diesel. Thanks.

A couple things...

1) This didn't "happen" to FMBM... he CHOSE to cave. He wasn't a victim, it was his choice. Huuuge difference.

2) D's state of mind comes with time and distance and, imo, is spot on. The further you remove yourself from the trauma you induced upon yourself through addiction, the stronger your mind becomes as its washed in freedom. Freedom you will NEVER relinquish. Right now, at your stage... don't worry about it. Fight your daily battle and don't look beyond that. It's not good for you. Everyone is different so find your own path and don't sweat a time frame... now is enough.

And... you CAN win.

Addiction does NOT define you.

What you do about it does.

We win every day.

Every. Day.

Stack enough of those up and that's your new norm.

I'm 1,128 days in and can say, without hesitation... I've won.

You'll get there, man. You will.

Thanks Med for the kind words about helping and being in the group. Keep up the good work you are doing for the guys in August as well! You are making a difference.

AppleJack is 100% right. It was a choice, it didn't happen to me. I made the choice to say fuck it and therefore I live with the consequences of that choice. That's why they make rearview mirrors so much smaller than windshields.

As for the thinking aspect of it. Believe what you need to believe at that particular time in your quit as long as it keeps the nicotine out of your body. Right now I don't have the perspective they have in relation to the # of quit days they have under their belt without using nicotine. They are going to see thing differently and I'm fucking glad to hear it.

My hope is when I get to that level of quit I feel the way they do.

Right now I continue to find myself reading the Tom Kern story and the Sean Marsee story. I've read both numerous times before but I read them again today along with some Jenny Kerns replies/posts etc. It reinforces the why.

Med- hit me up anytime I can help.

FMBM....I must say, it's refreshing to see your attitude instead of the usual whiney shit we usually see...

The victim excuse.

You're owning it without any of the typical bravado. I respect that.

Fully.