Stressed out Mom and Quitting

[chewife]

So I didnt know where to post a random topic so Ill just post it here.
I wanted to thank all you people who responded to my posts when I was at my worst. 36 wonderful encouraging replies! I didnt think Id be able to do it but I did and now Im at day 5 and I really couldnt have done it without this site! I was skeptical about roll call at first and wasnt gonna do it but I sure did change my mind!
I didnt understand what everyone meant about "fog" until now. Looking back at days 1-3 I wonder, was I even conscious? Seriously all I can remember is being extremely angry and eating everything in site.
Oh and guess what? Husband is on day 4!! So to whoever bet 3:1 that hed give up by monday was wrong wrong wrong! and yay right! Im really glad he lost that bet!!
I wanted to see if anyone else has had this symptom though. He has multiple little white pimple like bumps in rows down either side on the underside of his tongue. We dont know if its because hes been eating a TON of lifesaver wintergreens or maybe its some subconcious thing hes doing with his tongue?? Any input? Hes only gotten them since hes QUIT.
I had a DREAM last night that me and Husband decided to just have one chew on the boat and right after I put it in I had the worst overwhelming guilt of my life. I felt like I had committed adultery ! I quick got it out and was spitting out all those nasty little piecse and the whole time I was just thinking" oh no how am I gonna post roll now???!!" Ha Ha Ha!
Anyway Im so happy I AM FREE OF THE NICBITCH!! And listen up all you super- newbies, you can do it!!! oh and...
Between me and Hub---
8 cans of wintergreen grizzly a week=$33.60
$33.60 times 4=$134.40 a month
We are going to save $1,612.80 in a year! Yet another incentive to quit!!!

[nicofiend]

Welcome aboard chewife, I know you can do this, because if I can YOU CAN!! One day at a time! Embrace the SUCK and stay strong! Proud to be quit with you ! greg

[loot]

LOOT may have missed this...but is the husband posting Roll here or just running his mouth to his wife?

Naw, he ain't as strong as the little lady.

Figures...LOOT lays 3:1 odds he's finger bangin a can by Monday.

And Mrs. Chewife....you just lead by example. Show him who's got the sack in the family, and not the one you keep in your purse.

Don't let his weakness detract from your quit. YOU do what YOU need to do for YOU. It;s all about YOU.

Post Roll Call every day...as early in the day as you can. Be a person of honor and keep your word to us.

It won't be easy...but we've all done it. And we will be here for you.

[Parputt]

LOOT may have missed this...but is the husband posting Roll here or just running his mouth to his wife?

Naw, he ain't as strong as the little lady.

[loot]

LOOT may have missed this...but is the husband posting Roll here or just running his mouth to his wife?

[Radman]

No man likes to "lose." Especially to their wife.

I occassionally like to lose to my wife....

Oops... wrong forum for that, sorry! :unsure:

In seriousness, I'm glad to see you here. You can do this. Your hubby will hopefully come around. If he doesn't, you must stay the course. Own this war. Win it one daily battle at a time. It gradually gets easier. Slowly, cautiously, let your pride drive you, but remain cautious. Craves will come, so we must all be ready for them. My wife has never had an addiction, but was still one of my biggest allies outside my KTC group. Congratulations on the decision to reclaim your life.

[Leather Apron]

The thing it took me the longest to realize is that I had to quit because I wanted to quit. It won't work if somebody else wants you to quit. I dipped for 16 years. Alot. I also quit alot. Sometimes several times a day. Now I'm a week into my quit, and I'm living with a roommate who dips Red Seal constantly, have a dad and a brother who dip constantly but I don't let that shit bother me. If you're husband is ready, he'll quit. But if he's not ready, don't let that discourage you. I'm living proof that you can stay quit while living with a dipper. And make no mistake, if you stay quit and your hubby caves, it'll piss him off. No man likes to "lose." Especially to their wife. Stay supportive and we'll eventually have him posting roll with u. If you need anything, I'm right here with these other wingnuts. PM me.

[Parputt]

I see you posted a day 4 in December. This is huge. No turning back now. If you cave you will have to go through days 1-3 all over again. One day at a time, you can do this. We can do this.

[Wild_Bill]

QUOTE (chewife @ Sep 4, 2011, 5:07 pm)
Wow. I never expected so much support and so many responses! You all are so nice(andnot so nice i a good way)lol
Last night after reading outloud all my posts and replies my husband got up announced he was done. He then dumped 3/4 of a can of chew in the garbage! I told him hes better spit on it . And he did. And for good measure he smushed it against a poo diaper.
So, today has been interesting. Were both very snappish and have to give eachother lots of space. Today is a cookout in a house with tons of people. I dont know how Ill do it without growling and biting. There is 2 men there who chew and have very strong arguments for not quitting. "I been chewin' fer 30 years and Im just fine!" Uh-huh. Sure you are. Im not worried about it cause they wont ask me, but they will him. Poor guy I hope he can do it.
Ive also come to realize a can of chew is a living breathing thing. With a voice. And feelings. He is bipolar though. Totally sweet and caring one minute and a little conniving bitch the next. I dont need people like that in my life.

Chewife,

The last line of the above is critically important. You're right. You don't need people like that in your life. Anyone who can even attempt to justify ussing tobacco in any form is: 1. So insecure in his own skin that he is afraid to ever attempt quitting. 2: Has a feew screws loose. 3. Is an idiot. 4. All of the above.

You and your hubby can do this. Welcome to the quit.

Quit with us today, won't you?

whsii - 25

[Justinblake2188]

Wow. I never expected so much support and so many responses! You all are so nice(andnot so nice i a good way)lol
Last night after reading outloud all my posts and replies my husband got up announced he was done. He then dumped 3/4 of a can of chew in the garbage! I told him hes better spit on it . And he did. And for good measure he smushed it against a poo diaper.
So, today has been interesting. Were both very snappish and have to give eachother lots of space. Today is a cookout in a house with tons of people. I dont know how Ill do it without growling and biting. There is 2 men there who chew and have very strong arguments for not quitting. "I been chewin' fer 30 years and Im just fine!" Uh-huh. Sure you are. Im not worried about it cause they wont ask me, but they will him. Poor guy I hope he can do it.
Ive also come to realize a can of chew is a living breathing thing. With a voice. And feelings. He is bipolar though. Totally sweet and caring one minute and a little conniving bitch the next. I dont need people like that in my life.

I'm So proud of you!! Keep up the good work and rest assured it does get so much easier!!! Hang in there and if you need anything, I'm here for you too!!

[Gump]

Holy shit what a BEAR. 'help'  He's currently on day one and Im on day 2. He is way more touchy than I was yesterday and thats saying alot.
He said (snapped) "Itd be alot easier if you werent all""oh what are you feeling and this is what you could be feeling"" and I was just alone."
WELL IM SORRY!!!!!!!!!!! I thought the little facts about quitting chewing were interesting and encouraging.Like how your blood pressure goes back to normal after 2 hours and trouble concentrating is a normal withdrawal symptom.
But nooooo. I guess that just makes it harder for hiiiim. PBBTTHHHH! Thats what I have to say about that. He went to the stupid cookout by himself and now he can be ALONE.(without ((nagging))wife)
Now I know why my mom is relieved when my dad picks up a cig after a few days of trying to quit.
I know I sound awful but Im really just venting I do want him to stay quit. Oh and he will have nothing to do with this site. I already asked, but apparently Im not allowed to speak.

You can NOT allow him to weaken your own Quit....He is fighting the support and he will have to fight the temptations alone. However, Do not let it get you down if and when you find out that those 2 friends enabled him to go back to the can. Right now you are the only one that is trying to hold him accountable. The Nic Bitch just succeeded by leaving you out of the Equation today...He will have to make his choices alone and you need to just focus on your strength and your Quit for the rest of the day. We can NOT force anyone to Stay Quit...it's a personal deciision. No matter how bad or argumentative he gets with you or vice versa...just give some space...drink lots of water and maybe go for a walk to clear your head....this behavior is temporary while you go through this process. Come here and vent all about it...just do not take it out on him or anyone else..we understand here as only an addict would. You are doing great!!!

I have to second SamCat's words. Your Quit is YOURS, not mine, not SamCat's, and not your husband's.

Nobody craves because of what anyone else says, thinks or does. We crave because we are ADDICTS.

Both you and your husband are addicted to nicotine, like everyone here at KTC. You share the same space, but your addictions have nothing whatever to do with one another. If he Quits, it's his Quit, his decision, his fight. If he doesn't, that also is his to own.

Neither of those have anything to do with your Quit.

DO NOT try to make them have anything to do with your Quit, and the other way around too...DO NOT try to make your Quit have anything to do with your husband's addiction. Your husband has absolutely no ownership of your Quit, neither for nor against, regardless of anything he says, thinks or does, at any time, for any reason.

Meanwhile, way to go on Day 2. See you tomorrow.

[Parputt]

Keep fighting you got this. One day at a time.

[SamCat!!!]

Holy shit what a BEAR. 'help' He's currently on day one and Im on day 2. He is way more touchy than I was yesterday and thats saying alot.
He said (snapped) "Itd be alot easier if you werent all""oh what are you feeling and this is what you could be feeling"" and I was just alone."
WELL IM SORRY!!!!!!!!!!! I thought the little facts about quitting chewing were interesting and encouraging.Like how your blood pressure goes back to normal after 2 hours and trouble concentrating is a normal withdrawal symptom.
But nooooo. I guess that just makes it harder for hiiiim. PBBTTHHHH! Thats what I have to say about that. He went to the stupid cookout by himself and now he can be ALONE.(without ((nagging))wife)
Now I know why my mom is relieved when my dad picks up a cig after a few days of trying to quit.
I know I sound awful but Im really just venting I do want him to stay quit. Oh and he will have nothing to do with this site. I already asked, but apparently Im not allowed to speak.

You can NOT allow him to weaken your own Quit....He is fighting the support and he will have to fight the temptations alone. However, Do not let it get you down if and when you find out that those 2 friends enabled him to go back to the can. Right now you are the only one that is trying to hold him accountable. The Nic Bitch just succeeded by leaving you out of the Equation today...He will have to make his choices alone and you need to just focus on your strength and your Quit for the rest of the day. We can NOT force anyone to Stay Quit...it's a personal deciision. No matter how bad or argumentative he gets with you or vice versa...just give some space...drink lots of water and maybe go for a walk to clear your head....this behavior is temporary while you go through this process. Come here and vent all about it...just do not take it out on him or anyone else..we understand here as only an addict would. You are doing great!!!

[chewife]

Holy shit what a BEAR. 'help' He's currently on day one and Im on day 2. He is way more touchy than I was yesterday and thats saying alot.
He said (snapped) "Itd be alot easier if you werent all""oh what are you feeling and this is what you could be feeling"" and I was just alone."
WELL IM SORRY!!!!!!!!!!! I thought the little facts about quitting chewing were interesting and encouraging.Like how your blood pressure goes back to normal after 2 hours and trouble concentrating is a normal withdrawal symptom.
But nooooo. I guess that just makes it harder for hiiiim. PBBTTHHHH! Thats what I have to say about that. He went to the stupid cookout by himself and now he can be ALONE.(without ((nagging))wife)
Now I know why my mom is relieved when my dad picks up a cig after a few days of trying to quit.
I know I sound awful but Im really just venting I do want him to stay quit. Oh and he will have nothing to do with this site. I already asked, but apparently Im not allowed to speak.

[DennyX]

Wow. I never expected so much support and so many responses! You all are so nice(andnot so nice i a good way)lol
Last night after reading outloud all my posts and replies my husband got up announced he was done. He then dumped 3/4 of a can of chew in the garbage! I told him hes better spit on it . And he did. And for good measure he smushed it against a poo diaper.
So, today has been interesting. Were both very snappish and have to give eachother lots of space. Today is a cookout in a house with tons of people. I dont know how Ill do it without growling and biting. There is 2 men there who chew and have very strong arguments for not quitting. "I been chewin' fer 30 years and Im just fine!" Uh-huh. Sure you are. Im not worried about it cause they wont ask me, but they will him. Poor guy I hope he can do it.
Ive also come to realize a can of chew is a living breathing thing. With a voice. And feelings. He is bipolar though. Totally sweet and caring one minute and a little conniving bitch the next. I dont need people like that in my life.

That is AWESOME! Get him to post day 1 and make his promise. Neat how that works, then it's off the table to cave. It is NOT an option. Get numbers here, you and your husband, and USE them. They will save your life. They have mine.