Day 124
This is a rambling bit, but I wanted to share.
I have to admit that I'm surprised to be here at 124 days since my last iota of nicotine. I clearly remember how utterly impossible it seemed to be nic free, especially during moments that qualified as "special occasions". Sitting in a duck blind sans dip was quite literally inconceivable. After all, I had never done it before. The same goes for so many things in my life, from mowing the lawn to traveling for business. I was scared to face tempting circumstances when I quit. I was scared that I would cave (like so many times before) and that I would have to live with that guilt and shame. I refused, however, to avoid situations that would truly test my resolve. The more I looked at my life, I realized that I am completely surrounded by addicts. A bummed pinch is always within twenty steps of my office, an arm's reach in the duck blind, etc. I was either going to have to find a new job and new friends, or quit in the face of constant temptation.
What I found was that conquering each tempting situation gave me confidence and my quit started to gather momentum. Beers with dipping buddies, golf with dippers, road trips, bachelor parties, fine cigars with close friends on celebratory nights, cigars with my father in law, hostiing an event in a cigar club, hunting, fishing, clay shooting, yard work... Every nic dragon slayed made me stronger. After one particularly harrowing trip (bachelor party with over a dozen dippers) I realized that had found my groove and could conquer any tempting situation. Except I still have thoughts of "just one"...
I went goose hunting on Sunday with some friends that dip and it didn't even cross my mind until I realized that it was the first time I'd been in a layout/coffin blind without having to negotiate a way to spit. That was a nice first. I smiled and thought, "none today for any reason". My point, New Quitters, is that KTC can help you undo years of hard-wired habits in a (relative to the thousands of days you've chewed) very short time span. Before you know it, you won't even think of dip and when you do the thought of returning to a life of slavery will be inconceivable.