Alright, so my idea for another thread is kinda broad but super interesting to me right now. I wanted to do something different this time because every other time I "stopped" dipping or drinking for three days, something always brought me back because I didn't do anything different than the time before except say, "I'm quitting for good this time."
So I wrecked my brain a few days ago wondering what I could do different. And that was my answer all along. I had to do something different every single day I stayed quit. It was just this idea to really LIVE and have a blast with it by doing something crazy or different or just awesome every day.
The idea kinda came about a couple of days before I quit for good. My wife and I played Apples to Apples with my daughter. Nothing special, just a game. She always loves it when we play games with her. And she's almost 12. Those days of her wanting to play games with daddy aren't going to be around too much longer. And it made me think, for the millionth time, how much time I've wasted drinking, dipping, and gambling that I'll never get back with my only daughter. It's an immense amount of guilt. I'm sure some of you are really familiar with the guilt. And it's not just the guilt of time lost with my daughter. It's time lost and tension between my wife and I. It's a guilt that my baby boy might lose his father too soon because of the damage I've already done to my body. I'm relatively healthy, but there's still damage done. It's the guilt. The guilt is pretty damn bad.
So I set out yesterday to just do something awesome every day. Again, different, crazy, awesome, whatever. Just different enough to feel alive. I had this idea to start a thread about what everybody on here did today that was just awesome. I was looking for both entertainment and well, ideas.
Anyway, here's my first two days:
Day one: I quit. That's awesome enough.
Day two: I bought my wife flowers. And was rewarded for doing so.
Day three: I did two things. We went to Red Robin for lunch and I acted like a kid beating all the kids to the giant chalkboard they have there. I wrote on the board that I loved my wife and just basically acted like a child keeping the chalk away the kids, erasing the stuff they wrote, etc. So just acting like a kid. Then we had to go to BJ's Warehouse Club to return something and I saw a sheet of paper on the counter that was there for somebody's last day at work and it said, "We're going to miss you Cindy!!" Naturally, I grabbed the paper and a pen and wrote "You're beautiful inside and out." And then my daughter and niece wrote messages to whoever Cindy is. It made me laugh real big when we left there!!!!
So I don't know if a thread about what people did to feel alive and awesome would be interesting to anybody, but it's fueled me for three days. I'm weird, I know. Luckily, my family knows it, too. Feel free to add it to my intro or just go the other way with the knowledge that I'm weird. Won't bother me. I'm going to keep doing some crazy shit in the days to come.
