This one time at band camp

[SirDerek]

Tomorrow is my first dentist appointment since my quit 136 days ago. My last visit was the last time I quit 4 years ago, and I recall hearing "we'll have to watch these receding gums, you may need a graft" and "we'll have to watch this on your cheek, if that doesn't heal we may need to check it out" which essentially means check for cancer. I was convinced it would heal. I think it's healed. I worry about it. I also worry about the next crap i'm gonna take, hoping it's not a bowling pin, but regardless i'm worried about the dentist. At least I am quit. Whatever they have for me tomorrow, I won't be making it worse with poison turds.

good luck man, I am awaiting my time to return to the dentist as well....

[Kubiak]

Tomorrow is my first dentist appointment since my quit 136 days ago. My last visit was the last time I quit 4 years ago, and I recall hearing "we'll have to watch these receding gums, you may need a graft" and "we'll have to watch this on your cheek, if that doesn't heal we may need to check it out" which essentially means check for cancer. I was convinced it would heal. I think it's healed. I worry about it. I also worry about the next crap i'm gonna take, hoping it's not a bowling pin, but regardless i'm worried about the dentist. At least I am quit. Whatever they have for me tomorrow, I won't be making it worse with poison turds.

[Kubiak]

Asshats, attention whores and stubborn bastards. That's what I see. I won't name names, but I think if any of us aren't careful, we could end up as one of these three:

1. Asshats - just generally an asshole, but not covered by pants. You wear your ass on your head for all to see.

2. Attention whores - you go away just long enough for people to notice you're gone, and then come back bit by bit in ways that people notice you're back. If no one notices, do something outrageous to get noticed.

3. Stubborn bastards - post roll only once in awhile so people know you haven't caved, but be stubborn enough to not follow the program. Make sure you get the help you need here, but also quit your own way.

All of these people drive me fucking crazy. I will admit that I have fallen into the asshat category, but that is another topic - HYPOCRITE. He was one of the founders of modern medicine and we can all look up to him.

[Kubiak]

No Cave Here!!! The best part of going through a funk, or a crave, or a "wow i am a piece of shit addict" phase is that when you get through it, and believe me you do get through it, is the the other side is GLOOOOORIOUS!!!

Religion preaches that difficult times strengthen your faith. Putting fire to steel and beating on it with a hammer makes the steel stronger. Same goes for quit.

[Scowick65]

It felt wrong to put this directly into SWJ's intro thread, but this is still my opinion so I have to say it...

I just found this thread on my day 129.  Sure those stories are funny, but also long and self-absorbed.  I'm really happy that I never read this early in my quit, because the moral of the story is that no matter how much support you get, no matter how much you want to quit, it's still easy to cave.  And I didn't need the negativity early on.  I would not have done well seeing how much people looked up to this guy for being funny ha ha quit story guy. 

I feel like now, the timing is perfect, because I just went through a monumental funk, not a depression funk but a 3-day crave that was set off with a vivid dip dream so real that i swear i actually caved in my sleep and woke up with a day 1.  So just like a dip dream, i get to read how bad it would suck to cave, how shitty it would be to shit all over your quit brothers and come crawling back in here to try and justify another quit.  How much of a shitstorm is caused when half your fellow quitters have a hard time forgiving you.

Thank you funny afro guy for letting me know how shitty it is to cave.

this thread

Good post, but I disagree that it's 'easy to cave'. For me, it would be hard as fuck to cave. Sure it's easy to go buy a can and throw one in, but that's not what I'm talking about. Facing my 'inner circle' would be impossible...i couldn't do it. Not the shit storm I would get from the site because, to be honest, most of the ones who would be throwing stones have done shit for my quit. But the Mcarmo's, bwb's, Roam's, 2mch's, Swede's, Sud's, Evil's, Crockett's, Morgan's and more importantly myself that I would have to face and I don't want to put myself in that situation. The shame/hurt and betrayal that I felt when one close to me drifted and cave, I just couldn't do that to them, I couldn't do it to myself.

Caving is a decision, staying quit is a decision. Both are easy to make, the difference is what's inside...

Bruce, thanks for the feedback. I think what I mean is that it is very easy to cave because deep down we are all still addicts, and unless we actively quit every day, it is very easy to cave. That guy made a choice to walk away from KTC with the intent of caving. He even told everyone that he could if he wanted to. So now that I think of it, this is where we put on our big boy pants and decide, do we really want to be quit, or are we gonna look for an excuse? That's where you decided it's easy to quit Bruce, your big boy pants are on and quitting. My big boy pants are still one size big and I'm growing into them. Which is fine, that means there's room to reach in and play a little.

Just remember Kubiak. You can only cave after talking to me. Until then keep up the great work.

PS.

FU nic.

Love,

Scodaddy.

[Kubiak]

It felt wrong to put this directly into SWJ's intro thread, but this is still my opinion so I have to say it...

I just found this thread on my day 129.  Sure those stories are funny, but also long and self-absorbed.  I'm really happy that I never read this early in my quit, because the moral of the story is that no matter how much support you get, no matter how much you want to quit, it's still easy to cave.  And I didn't need the negativity early on.  I would not have done well seeing how much people looked up to this guy for being funny ha ha quit story guy. 

I feel like now, the timing is perfect, because I just went through a monumental funk, not a depression funk but a 3-day crave that was set off with a vivid dip dream so real that i swear i actually caved in my sleep and woke up with a day 1.  So just like a dip dream, i get to read how bad it would suck to cave, how shitty it would be to shit all over your quit brothers and come crawling back in here to try and justify another quit.  How much of a shitstorm is caused when half your fellow quitters have a hard time forgiving you.

Thank you funny afro guy for letting me know how shitty it is to cave.

this thread

Good post, but I disagree that it's 'easy to cave'. For me, it would be hard as fuck to cave. Sure it's easy to go buy a can and throw one in, but that's not what I'm talking about. Facing my 'inner circle' would be impossible...i couldn't do it. Not the shit storm I would get from the site because, to be honest, most of the ones who would be throwing stones have done shit for my quit. But the Mcarmo's, bwb's, Roam's, 2mch's, Swede's, Sud's, Evil's, Crockett's, Morgan's and more importantly myself that I would have to face and I don't want to put myself in that situation. The shame/hurt and betrayal that I felt when one close to me drifted and cave, I just couldn't do that to them, I couldn't do it to myself.

Caving is a decision, staying quit is a decision. Both are easy to make, the difference is what's inside...

Bruce, thanks for the feedback. I think what I mean is that it is very easy to cave because deep down we are all still addicts, and unless we actively quit every day, it is very easy to cave. That guy made a choice to walk away from KTC with the intent of caving. He even told everyone that he could if he wanted to. So now that I think of it, this is where we put on our big boy pants and decide, do we really want to be quit, or are we gonna look for an excuse? That's where you decided it's easy to quit Bruce, your big boy pants are on and quitting. My big boy pants are still one size big and I'm growing into them. Which is fine, that means there's room to reach in and play a little.

[Bruce]

It felt wrong to put this directly into SWJ's intro thread, but this is still my opinion so I have to say it...

I just found this thread on my day 129. Sure those stories are funny, but also long and self-absorbed. I'm really happy that I never read this early in my quit, because the moral of the story is that no matter how much support you get, no matter how much you want to quit, it's still easy to cave. And I didn't need the negativity early on. I would not have done well seeing how much people looked up to this guy for being funny ha ha quit story guy.

I feel like now, the timing is perfect, because I just went through a monumental funk, not a depression funk but a 3-day crave that was set off with a vivid dip dream so real that i swear i actually caved in my sleep and woke up with a day 1. So just like a dip dream, i get to read how bad it would suck to cave, how shitty it would be to shit all over your quit brothers and come crawling back in here to try and justify another quit. How much of a shitstorm is caused when half your fellow quitters have a hard time forgiving you.

Thank you funny afro guy for letting me know how shitty it is to cave.

this thread

Good post, but I disagree that it's 'easy to cave'. For me, it would be hard as fuck to cave. Sure it's easy to go buy a can and throw one in, but that's not what I'm talking about. Facing my 'inner circle' would be impossible...i couldn't do it. Not the shit storm I would get from the site because, to be honest, most of the ones who would be throwing stones have done shit for my quit. But the Mcarmo's, bwb's, Roam's, 2mch's, Swede's, Sud's, Evil's, Crockett's, Morgan's and more importantly myself that I would have to face and I don't want to put myself in that situation. The shame/hurt and betrayal that I felt when one close to me drifted and cave, I just couldn't do that to them, I couldn't do it to myself.

Caving is a decision, staying quit is a decision. Both are easy to make, the difference is what's inside...

[Kubiak]

It felt wrong to put this directly into SWJ's intro thread, but this is still my opinion so I have to say it...

I just found this thread on my day 129. Sure those stories are funny, but also long and self-absorbed. I'm really happy that I never read this early in my quit, because the moral of the story is that no matter how much support you get, no matter how much you want to quit, it's still easy to cave. And I didn't need the negativity early on. I would not have done well seeing how much people looked up to this guy for being funny ha ha quit story guy.

I feel like now, the timing is perfect, because I just went through a monumental funk, not a depression funk but a 3-day crave that was set off with a vivid dip dream so real that i swear i actually caved in my sleep and woke up with a day 1. So just like a dip dream, i get to read how bad it would suck to cave, how shitty it would be to shit all over your quit brothers and come crawling back in here to try and justify another quit. How much of a shitstorm is caused when half your fellow quitters have a hard time forgiving you.

Thank you funny afro guy for letting me know how shitty it is to cave.

this thread

[Kubiak]

If someone likes the busy-ness of chewing sunflower seeds but hates all the salt in it, and also likes the taste of coffee, try this... I've been nibbling on coffee beans while i'm driving. You can crack 'em in half like a sunflower seed but they taste like coffee instead of salt.

[Kubiak]

I come on this site at times when i'm craving or thinking about dip.  As a quitter, that probably shouldn't happen anymore, i should be so super stinkin quit that i never crave... well that's probably bullshit and if it isn't, that's just not me.  So anyway, i come to the site for wisdom from others who are wearing these same shitty shoes.

Tonight I'm using the family computer, on which no porn is conjured by my fingertips, and I noticed on the desktop a really sweet picture of my wife and i from two winters ago.  I'm dipping and she doesn't know it.  It may be a pouch, which i used for super-ninja days, or just a tiny one.  How sad that i used to plan what kind of dip to buy based on who where what how.

Anyway sometimes when i'm on here and i'm craving, i may or may not find something to make me smile.  when my tongue hurts and i'm worried about cancer, i'm not sure if reading anything will help, so i think of crazy ass shit to write.  I have never actually shoved anything up my own ass, that's really just a joke and/or fantasy, i haven't decided if that's something i would enjoy.  But i will write about it, post roll with it, tell jokes about it, whatever, because that's 30 more seconds that i'm not thinking about dip and it usually works in changing thought pattern.

Now that's a catch 22 isn't it... ya come on the site to stop thinking about dip but read lots of stories about dipping.  well why come on here at all then you say?  cuz my addict ass is thinking about dip anyway, so why not be reminded about why it's shitty and how awesome it is to be in control again!!!

Anyway, those are my thoughts, i'm gonna go see if my wife will shove a shampoo bottle up my ass and push it in and out at a medium pace.

that song used to make me laugh so fuckin hard. It gets my vote for one of the best love songs ever!

I'll quit with you today man.

I'm very proud of you.

What happened to the story about your ass? You tricked ol loot into reading the whole thing...waiting to see what inanimate object we'd be hidiing and it all hyped up and ended prematurely. That is wrong sir. Continue pleSe..

I've never stuck anything up my ass either. Yeah right.

End of story: Wife said no quit asking, nighty night... try again tomorrow.

[Smokeyg]

I come on this site at times when i'm craving or thinking about dip.  As a quitter, that probably shouldn't happen anymore, i should be so super stinkin quit that i never crave... well that's probably bullshit and if it isn't, that's just not me.  So anyway, i come to the site for wisdom from others who are wearing these same shitty shoes.

Tonight I'm using the family computer, on which no porn is conjured by my fingertips, and I noticed on the desktop a really sweet picture of my wife and i from two winters ago.  I'm dipping and she doesn't know it.  It may be a pouch, which i used for super-ninja days, or just a tiny one.  How sad that i used to plan what kind of dip to buy based on who where what how.

Anyway sometimes when i'm on here and i'm craving, i may or may not find something to make me smile.  when my tongue hurts and i'm worried about cancer, i'm not sure if reading anything will help, so i think of crazy ass shit to write.  I have never actually shoved anything up my own ass, that's really just a joke and/or fantasy, i haven't decided if that's something i would enjoy.  But i will write about it, post roll with it, tell jokes about it, whatever, because that's 30 more seconds that i'm not thinking about dip and it usually works in changing thought pattern.

Now that's a catch 22 isn't it... ya come on the site to stop thinking about dip but read lots of stories about dipping.  well why come on here at all then you say?  cuz my addict ass is thinking about dip anyway, so why not be reminded about why it's shitty and how awesome it is to be in control again!!!

Anyway, those are my thoughts, i'm gonna go see if my wife will shove a shampoo bottle up my ass and push it in and out at a medium pace.

that song used to make me laugh so fuckin hard. It gets my vote for one of the best love songs ever!

I'll quit with you today man.

I'm very proud of you.

What happened to the story about your ass? You tricked ol loot into reading the whole thing...waiting to see what inanimate object we'd be hidiing and it all hyped up and ended prematurely. That is wrong sir. Continue pleSe..

I've never stuck anything up my ass either. Yeah right.

[loot]

I come on this site at times when i'm craving or thinking about dip.  As a quitter, that probably shouldn't happen anymore, i should be so super stinkin quit that i never crave... well that's probably bullshit and if it isn't, that's just not me.  So anyway, i come to the site for wisdom from others who are wearing these same shitty shoes.

Tonight I'm using the family computer, on which no porn is conjured by my fingertips, and I noticed on the desktop a really sweet picture of my wife and i from two winters ago.  I'm dipping and she doesn't know it.  It may be a pouch, which i used for super-ninja days, or just a tiny one.  How sad that i used to plan what kind of dip to buy based on who where what how.

Anyway sometimes when i'm on here and i'm craving, i may or may not find something to make me smile.  when my tongue hurts and i'm worried about cancer, i'm not sure if reading anything will help, so i think of crazy ass shit to write.  I have never actually shoved anything up my own ass, that's really just a joke and/or fantasy, i haven't decided if that's something i would enjoy.  But i will write about it, post roll with it, tell jokes about it, whatever, because that's 30 more seconds that i'm not thinking about dip and it usually works in changing thought pattern.

Now that's a catch 22 isn't it... ya come on the site to stop thinking about dip but read lots of stories about dipping.  well why come on here at all then you say?  cuz my addict ass is thinking about dip anyway, so why not be reminded about why it's shitty and how awesome it is to be in control again!!!

Anyway, those are my thoughts, i'm gonna go see if my wife will shove a shampoo bottle up my ass and push it in and out at a medium pace.

that song used to make me laugh so fuckin hard. It gets my vote for one of the best love songs ever!

I'll quit with you today man.

I'm very proud of you.

What happened to the story about your ass? You tricked ol loot into reading the whole thing...waiting to see what inanimate object we'd be hidiing and it all hyped up and ended prematurely. That is wrong sir. Continue pleSe..

[wastepanel]

I come on this site at times when i'm craving or thinking about dip.  As a quitter, that probably shouldn't happen anymore, i should be so super stinkin quit that i never crave... well that's probably bullshit and if it isn't, that's just not me.  So anyway, i come to the site for wisdom from others who are wearing these same shitty shoes.

Tonight I'm using the family computer, on which no porn is conjured by my fingertips, and I noticed on the desktop a really sweet picture of my wife and i from two winters ago.  I'm dipping and she doesn't know it.  It may be a pouch, which i used for super-ninja days, or just a tiny one.  How sad that i used to plan what kind of dip to buy based on who where what how.

Anyway sometimes when i'm on here and i'm craving, i may or may not find something to make me smile.  when my tongue hurts and i'm worried about cancer, i'm not sure if reading anything will help, so i think of crazy ass shit to write.  I have never actually shoved anything up my own ass, that's really just a joke and/or fantasy, i haven't decided if that's something i would enjoy.  But i will write about it, post roll with it, tell jokes about it, whatever, because that's 30 more seconds that i'm not thinking about dip and it usually works in changing thought pattern.

Now that's a catch 22 isn't it... ya come on the site to stop thinking about dip but read lots of stories about dipping.  well why come on here at all then you say?  cuz my addict ass is thinking about dip anyway, so why not be reminded about why it's shitty and how awesome it is to be in control again!!!

Anyway, those are my thoughts, i'm gonna go see if my wife will shove a shampoo bottle up my ass and push it in and out at a medium pace.

that song used to make me laugh so fuckin hard. It gets my vote for one of the best love songs ever!

I'll quit with you today man.

I'm very proud of you.

[mich 34]

I come on this site at times when i'm craving or thinking about dip. As a quitter, that probably shouldn't happen anymore, i should be so super stinkin quit that i never crave... well that's probably bullshit and if it isn't, that's just not me. So anyway, i come to the site for wisdom from others who are wearing these same shitty shoes.

Tonight I'm using the family computer, on which no porn is conjured by my fingertips, and I noticed on the desktop a really sweet picture of my wife and i from two winters ago. I'm dipping and she doesn't know it. It may be a pouch, which i used for super-ninja days, or just a tiny one. How sad that i used to plan what kind of dip to buy based on who where what how.

Anyway sometimes when i'm on here and i'm craving, i may or may not find something to make me smile. when my tongue hurts and i'm worried about cancer, i'm not sure if reading anything will help, so i think of crazy ass shit to write. I have never actually shoved anything up my own ass, that's really just a joke and/or fantasy, i haven't decided if that's something i would enjoy. But i will write about it, post roll with it, tell jokes about it, whatever, because that's 30 more seconds that i'm not thinking about dip and it usually works in changing thought pattern.

Now that's a catch 22 isn't it... ya come on the site to stop thinking about dip but read lots of stories about dipping. well why come on here at all then you say? cuz my addict ass is thinking about dip anyway, so why not be reminded about why it's shitty and how awesome it is to be in control again!!!

Anyway, those are my thoughts, i'm gonna go see if my wife will shove a shampoo bottle up my ass and push it in and out at a medium pace.

that song used to make me laugh so fuckin hard. It gets my vote for one of the best love songs ever!

[Kubiak]

I come on this site at times when i'm craving or thinking about dip. As a quitter, that probably shouldn't happen anymore, i should be so super stinkin quit that i never crave... well that's probably bullshit and if it isn't, that's just not me. So anyway, i come to the site for wisdom from others who are wearing these same shitty shoes.

Tonight I'm using the family computer, on which no porn is conjured by my fingertips, and I noticed on the desktop a really sweet picture of my wife and i from two winters ago. I'm dipping and she doesn't know it. It may be a pouch, which i used for super-ninja days, or just a tiny one. How sad that i used to plan what kind of dip to buy based on who where what how.

Anyway sometimes when i'm on here and i'm craving, i may or may not find something to make me smile. when my tongue hurts and i'm worried about cancer, i'm not sure if reading anything will help, so i think of crazy ass shit to write. I have never actually shoved anything up my own ass, that's really just a joke and/or fantasy, i haven't decided if that's something i would enjoy. But i will write about it, post roll with it, tell jokes about it, whatever, because that's 30 more seconds that i'm not thinking about dip and it usually works in changing thought pattern.

Now that's a catch 22 isn't it... ya come on the site to stop thinking about dip but read lots of stories about dipping. well why come on here at all then you say? cuz my addict ass is thinking about dip anyway, so why not be reminded about why it's shitty and how awesome it is to be in control again!!!

Anyway, those are my thoughts, i'm gonna go see if my wife will shove a shampoo bottle up my ass and push it in and out at a medium pace.