Slave no more..

[srans]

Back again! It has taken me several hours to rehash my past experience here. 68 days.. I made it without nicotine for 68 days. It has been over a year since that last day without nicotine and I can say without a doubt that it was the worst mistake I could of made. Now, the whole mess of starting over will have to be relived. The fog, the rage, the lack of sleep and all the other BS that goes along with quitting. And for what, a poison that has no doubt shortened my life once again.

Don't become complacent, never give in again to the power that nicotine wants over you. It is not worth the misery that will soon follow me down this path once more. Can't believe it, but here I am again on Day 1 for the last time. No more failure, no more giving in.....

I read your year old posts. Lined up with my quit. 20 to 30 sucked. The 60s were a mother. Read your post on quit group. Glad to be quit with you.

[Otter]

Back again! It has taken me several hours to rehash my past experience here. 68 days.. I made it without nicotine for 68 days. It has been over a year since that last day without nicotine and I can say without a doubt that it was the worst mistake I could of made. Now, the whole mess of starting over will have to be relived. The fog, the rage, the lack of sleep and all the other BS that goes along with quitting. And for what, a poison that has no doubt shortened my life once again.

Don't become complacent, never give in again to the power that nicotine wants over you. It is not worth the misery that will soon follow me down this path once more. Can't believe it, but here I am again on Day 1 for the last time. No more failure, no more giving in.....

[Otter]

So here we are at Day 50 and I wanted to relate something to those who are just starting this journey. The first 20-30 days really were horrific. There are no words to describe how awful it was to quit nicotine. Then there was a calm period in which there were no craves and life seemed to go rather smoothly. I even started to think my troubles were over and there would be no more hard days concerning my addiction to nicotine. I WAS WRONG!

Craves still happen and the past few days at an alarming frequency. But, its easier to brush them aside. There were times when I first quit that I didn't think I could make it and wanted to cave so badly. Now, when those feelings come, it is much easier to put my mind somewhere else, or remember that for the past 50 days, I have given my word to my wife, my daughters and to a bunch of strangers who are fighting along side me in this battle.

So don't give up and never give in. It does really get better and I can now say this from experience. Sure, I still crave, but now it is much easier to deal with than 50 days ago!

[Otter]

Wow, what a week! I really have not had one crave this week. Might have something to do with all my time being spent taking care of the wife and new born baby girl. Still, there is something inside of me now which knows that I can stay quit. Before it was more of a wanting to be able to quit for good. Now there is a quiet strength which won't allow doubt to come up to the surface. I realize that this feeling can and probably will go away, but for now life is good and its back to spending time with my baby girl. Stay quit.

[ChewCrewRetiree]

Great to hear you doing well, Otter! Look at us in the big picture, taking our lives back, but on a micro day by day scale. Keep it up my man, I quit with you today!

Crew

[wastepanel]

So far I have been through many phases of quitting including the suck, the fog, euphoria, invincible and many other feelings, but this weekend introduced me to something new. I felt as if I had lost something. Not something small, but as if I had lost someone or something dear to me. It actually welled-up inside of me and hurt to some extent. I really don't know how else to explain it. And once it hit me, I couldn't shake it and almost became like a zombie for several hours. Well, once that passed, I started noticing that I can't watch anymore shows or movies that have that nasty crap in them. I usually like to watch "Ax Men" on Sunday nights, but those guys are always packing a huge lip turd everytime they talk to the cameras, so no more of that for me.

Next week will be the first time in many years that I have completely stayed clean of nicotine. I am feeling better than I ever have and looking forward to the rest of my life, but I will never get away from one day at a time of staying quit, because it is working and why mess with something that works.

Best.Post.Ever.

[Otter]

So far I have been through many phases of quitting including the suck, the fog, euphoria, invincible and many other feelings, but this weekend introduced me to something new. I felt as if I had lost something. Not something small, but as if I had lost someone or something dear to me. It actually welled-up inside of me and hurt to some extent. I really don't know how else to explain it. And once it hit me, I couldn't shake it and almost became like a zombie for several hours. Well, once that passed, I started noticing that I can't watch anymore shows or movies that have that nasty crap in them. I usually like to watch "Ax Men" on Sunday nights, but those guys are always packing a huge lip turd everytime they talk to the cameras, so no more of that for me.

Next week will be the first time in many years that I have completely stayed clean of nicotine. I am feeling better than I ever have and looking forward to the rest of my life, but I will never get away from one day at a time of staying quit, because it is working and why mess with something that works.

[Souliman]

...I made a life decision to be a man of my word and to change my life for the better. I plan to keep my word and not lie anymore.

OUTFUCKINGSTANDING. This made my fucking day. Hot dog. I'm all jacked.

Be that guy. You are strong. You can fight this. You know who you are suppose to be. This is great stuff. Happy for you bro.

[ERDVM]

A bit of history why I am putting this entry in: Last night my wife smelled my fingers and accused me of dipping again. She now knows all the lies I told and the trust issue is a slow healing process on her part (totally understandable). I informed her that it was from the herbal chew I was doing to sometimes help with craves. She then asked why I couldn't quit like everyone else, which set me off because I believe that she should be my biggest supporter in my quit. Anyway, she apologized this morning and later I wrote her this email:

I know that in the past I have lied to you. As far as the nicotine goes, it was the addiction talking. It didnÂ’t matter what I had to do, as long as I had nicotine coursing through my veins, I thought I was good. I just didnÂ’t realize that what I was doing was putting myself into a never ending cycle of withdrawal from the nicotine. This is probably why I was having such crazy mood swings. The outbursts I am having now, they call rage moments and we (nicotine addicts) all go through them. I am trying very hard not to take things out on you and the girls, but sometimes it just happens and eventually they too shall pass. Please understand that I want to be normal again and that I am never putting that poison back into my body ever again. 23 days ago, I made a life decision to be a man of my word and to change my life for the better. I plan to keep my word and not lie anymore. And if I do, then I will be a man of God and will repent and let you and whoever it was that I lied to know that I did.

I love you and the girls and only want to make myself healthy so that I can provide you all with love, support, and whatever else you may need from a husband and father. Please stick with me and try to understand that whatever I may be doing right now, you might not understand, but I am doing all of it to better myself so that I can be the husband that you deserve and the father that my girls deserve. I love you.

You, my brother, are wise beyond your quit. :wub:


She then asked why I couldn't quit like everyone else, which set me off because I believe that she should be my biggest supporter in my quit.

Us quitters are the only ones who really understand quitting.

[Otter]

A bit of history why I am putting this entry in: Last night my wife smelled my fingers and accused me of dipping again. She now knows all the lies I told and the trust issue is a slow healing process on her part (totally understandable). I informed her that it was from the herbal chew I was doing to sometimes help with craves. She then asked why I couldn't quit like everyone else, which set me off because I believe that she should be my biggest supporter in my quit. Anyway, she apologized this morning and later I wrote her this email:

I know that in the past I have lied to you. As far as the nicotine goes, it was the addiction talking. It didnÂ’t matter what I had to do, as long as I had nicotine coursing through my veins, I thought I was good. I just didnÂ’t realize that what I was doing was putting myself into a never ending cycle of withdrawal from the nicotine. This is probably why I was having such crazy mood swings. The outbursts I am having now, they call rage moments and we (nicotine addicts) all go through them. I am trying very hard not to take things out on you and the girls, but sometimes it just happens and eventually they too shall pass. Please understand that I want to be normal again and that I am never putting that poison back into my body ever again. 23 days ago, I made a life decision to be a man of my word and to change my life for the better. I plan to keep my word and not lie anymore. And if I do, then I will be a man of God and will repent and let you and whoever it was that I lied to know that I did.

I love you and the girls and only want to make myself healthy so that I can provide you all with love, support, and whatever else you may need from a husband and father. Please stick with me and try to understand that whatever I may be doing right now, you might not understand, but I am doing all of it to better myself so that I can be the husband that you deserve and the father that my girls deserve. I love you.

[Otter]

Day 21:
I don't have many craves of late, just unbelievable pressure with work and the upcoming new addition to our family. I already have a heck of a time supporting two daughters and a wife and now I have to add another mouth to feed. That is some crazy pressure. I don't need the nicotine anymore, nor do I want it.

So my baby will be born on Tuesday February 21st in the morning (scheduled c-section) and I am pumped to be a father once again. The three girls part of the equation is crazy and I guess since I am such a joker, the good Lord decided to have some fun of his own. Guess one of the girls will have to be my hunting and fishing buddy. Really enjoying life right now and can't wait for the next bad situation or stressful moment in my life so that once again I can overcome my nicotine addiction.

[Otter]

On day 20 and I can honestly say that this quitting thing is tough business. Had this overwhelming feeling several days ago that I was over the hard part. It seriously felt like I had never picked the stuff up. Then this weekend it hit me, and it wasn't a 3 minute crave like they say in some literature. It was a long drawn out battle lasting all day that kept telling me to come back. Cigarette, dip, snus, whatever, just come on back to me. The pull was so strong, it almost seemed that I was going to give in several times. But then I started thinking about everyone here and all those that I have read about in their HoF speeches and that is what got me through. Baby on the way, she will be here in 2 weeks and I know that what I am doing now will be rewarded later when I can look at my daughters and my wife and know that I overcame my addictions. That I am not a liar anymore.

SWJ is the funniest man I have never met......

[Moondawggy]

Gettin all evangelical of late.

I like it.

Preach at it, brother.

[Otter]

So here we are at day 13 and the fight continues. I started this quit (my last) due to the sudden awareness through some health problems, that this addiction had stolen years of my life from me. That makes me so mad that I would allow a substance to rob me of life. So I am here, I am vigilant, and I pledge to daily retake my life back from this addiction, so that the rest of my life is mine. No more regrets, no more lack of control.
Another thing that I have noticed in the last few days is that many here believe that this addiction will be with us for the rest of our lives. This thinking I can not go along with. Don't get me wrong, I understand what they are saying, but deep down inside, I know that my faith in God is showing me another reality. There will come a day in this battle when He will say to me, "It is done!" and I will be released from any and all power this addiction has ever had on me. It might sound silly to some, yet I have seen it played out in my life numerous times. I put my trust in God and He helps me to overcome. Then it is on to the next trouble spot in my life. Bill Hicks said it best when saying, life is just a ride, it goes up and down and round and round, there are good times and bad, but it is still a ride, so get on and enjoy it while it lasts. Stay quit my brothers and sisters, we control our destiny today.

[tazmed]

There is something that I was thinking about this weekend and on the way to work this morning. Someone once said, "I won't remember what my enemies said about me, but rather the silence of my friends." This can be so relevant to our struggles here with nicotine addiction. We come here to help one another and some practice what I would call tough love. We must understand that these who practice this type of help are doing the utmost good. They have a passion for saving your life. They have been where you are right now and know how easy it would be for you to slip once again into slavery.

Let us all wake up and realize that those who have come before us are our guides. We wouldn't be here if we didn't need their support in this struggle we are going through. So get some thick skin and come to the realization that those who come to you with harsh or fighting words are doing good for you and your quit. They are fighting for your life. It really is crazy to think that someone you have never met is fighting for you! So let them and take the meat of what every one here says to you and spit out the bones. Keep quit!

Someone else who gets it... B)

Keep up the good work Otter.