Author Topic: SKOAL MONSTER  (Read 9030 times)

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Offline copingwithoutcopen

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Re: SKOAL MONSTER
« Reply #252 on: July 01, 2014, 04:31:00 PM »
Quote from: Skoal
Quote from: razd611
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Skoal
Quote from: T-Cell
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Bradleyguy
Quote from: Skoal
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: razd611
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Quote from: brettlees
Quote from: derk40
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Its_Got2Happen
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Accountibility.

My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.

I am accountable to myself

I am accountable to my wife and kids

I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.

I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.

At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.

Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.

I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .


I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.


'sac' :scowick:



NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????

That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time  have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.

However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.

Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.



Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.

Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.

I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...

Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.

Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.

I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.

I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.

Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.

Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.

I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.

I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.

Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.

sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.

Quits evolve, people evolve.

This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Quote
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.


JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.

BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.

sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?



'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.

The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.

Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.

My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.

You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.

But you and I are having different discussions.

I'm asking what comes next? If anything?



How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Not why I should drift away Cope, But why members like me are still assets.

Tricky ground I agree. My post is very similar to addict speak, even as I wrote it I had to carefully soul search.


Roll call for me was a tool that taught me accountability.

Accountability is still what keeps me quit.

But I am accountable in a different way now.







Up above, tcope talks about payback. I owe this place a great debt.

I was accountable to myself for 25 years and it didn't mean squat. Now, here, with you all, it means everything. At some point, I guess the story is less about us and more about them.

Offline Skoal Monster

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Re: SKOAL MONSTER
« Reply #251 on: July 01, 2014, 04:22:00 PM »
Quote from: razd611
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Skoal
Quote from: T-Cell
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Bradleyguy
Quote from: Skoal
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: razd611
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Quote from: brettlees
Quote from: derk40
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Its_Got2Happen
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Accountibility.

My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.

I am accountable to myself

I am accountable to my wife and kids

I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.

I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.

At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.

Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.

I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .


I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.


'sac' :scowick:



NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????

That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time  have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.

However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.

Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.



Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.

Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.

I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...

Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.

Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.

I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.

I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.

Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.

Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.

I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.

I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.

Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.

sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.

Quits evolve, people evolve.

This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Quote
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.


JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.

BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.

sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?



'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.

The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.

Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.

My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.

You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.

But you and I are having different discussions.

I'm asking what comes next? If anything?



How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Not why I should drift away Cope, But why members like me are still assets.

Tricky ground I agree. My post is very similar to addict speak, even as I wrote it I had to carefully soul search.


Roll call for me was a tool that taught me accountability.

Accountability is still what keeps me quit.

But I am accountable in a different way now.
"CLOSE THE DOOR. In my opinion, it?s the single most important step in your final quit. There is one moment, THE moment, when you finally let go and surrender to the quit. After that moment, no temptation will be great enough, no lie persuasive enough to make you commit suicide by using tobacco."

Offline RAZD611

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Re: SKOAL MONSTER
« Reply #250 on: July 01, 2014, 04:03:00 PM »
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Skoal
Quote from: T-Cell
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Bradleyguy
Quote from: Skoal
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: razd611
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Quote from: brettlees
Quote from: derk40
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Its_Got2Happen
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Accountibility.

My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.

I am accountable to myself

I am accountable to my wife and kids

I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.

I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.

At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.

Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.

I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .


I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.


'sac' :scowick:



NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????

That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time  have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.

However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.

Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.



Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.

Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.

I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...

Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.

Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.

I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.

I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.

Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.

Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.

I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.

I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.

Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.

sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.

Quits evolve, people evolve.

This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Quote
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.


JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.

BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.

sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?



'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.

The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.

Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.

My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.

You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.

But you and I are having different discussions.

I'm asking what comes next? If anything?



How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.
They are one in the same..
Never Again For Any Reason

Hurt Feelings Report
https://ibb.co/NCwvw7t

Offline RAZD611

  • Moderator (Retired)
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Re: SKOAL MONSTER
« Reply #249 on: July 01, 2014, 04:02:00 PM »
Quote from: Skoal
Quote from: T-Cell
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Bradleyguy
Quote from: Skoal
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: razd611
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Quote from: brettlees
Quote from: derk40
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Its_Got2Happen
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Accountibility.

My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.

I am accountable to myself

I am accountable to my wife and kids

I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.

I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.

At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.

Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.

I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .


I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.


'sac' :scowick:



NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????

That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time  have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.

However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.

Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.



Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.

Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.

I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...

Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.

Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.

I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.

I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.

Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.

Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.

I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.

I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.

Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.

sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.

Quits evolve, people evolve.

This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Quote
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.


JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.

BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.

sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?



'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.

The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.

Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.

My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.

You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.

But you and I are having different discussions.

I'm asking what comes next? If anything?



Peace with it all.........
Never Again For Any Reason

Hurt Feelings Report
https://ibb.co/NCwvw7t

Offline copingwithoutcopen

  • Quitting MoFo
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  • Posts: 13,659
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Re: SKOAL MONSTER
« Reply #248 on: July 01, 2014, 04:02:00 PM »
Quote from: Skoal
Quote from: T-Cell
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Bradleyguy
Quote from: Skoal
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: razd611
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Quote from: brettlees
Quote from: derk40
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Its_Got2Happen
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Accountibility.

My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.

I am accountable to myself

I am accountable to my wife and kids

I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.

I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.

At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.

Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.

I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .


I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.


'sac' :scowick:



NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????

That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time  have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.

However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.

Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.



Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.

Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.

I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...

Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.

Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.

I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.

I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.

Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.

Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.

I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.

I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.

Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.

sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.

Quits evolve, people evolve.

This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Quote
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.


JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.

BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.

sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?



'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.

The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.

Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.

My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.

You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.

But you and I are having different discussions.

I'm asking what comes next? If anything?



How do any of us know that? Tomorrow I will be making my promise if I'm able. The stakes are simply too high. The folks I text and support deserve it. I'd be remiss if I let my shit slip up after only two years. I'd also argue that your wisdom would be much better spent helping us quit then to argue why you should drift away.

Offline Skoal Monster

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Re: SKOAL MONSTER
« Reply #247 on: July 01, 2014, 03:57:00 PM »
Quote from: T-Cell
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Bradleyguy
Quote from: Skoal
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: razd611
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Quote from: brettlees
Quote from: derk40
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Its_Got2Happen
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Accountibility.

My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.

I am accountable to myself

I am accountable to my wife and kids

I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.

I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.

At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.

Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.

I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .


I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.


'sac' :scowick:



NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????

That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time  have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.

However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.

Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.



Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.

Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.

I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...

Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.

Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.

I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.

I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.

Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.

Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.

I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.

I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.

Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.

sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.

Quits evolve, people evolve.

This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Quote
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.


JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.

BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.

sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?



'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.

The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.

Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.

My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Cope , those are some good quotes from solid quitters.

You have to build accountability your right. I am not suggesting that roll call isn't a critical tool.

But you and I are having different discussions.

I'm asking what comes next? If anything?
"CLOSE THE DOOR. In my opinion, it?s the single most important step in your final quit. There is one moment, THE moment, when you finally let go and surrender to the quit. After that moment, no temptation will be great enough, no lie persuasive enough to make you commit suicide by using tobacco."

Offline Bruce

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Re: SKOAL MONSTER
« Reply #246 on: July 01, 2014, 03:56:00 PM »
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
I will not become complacent.

I will not think I ever have this beat.

I will not let myself forget the chains in which kept me constantly tied to a can.

I will not forget how bad the first few weeks sucked.

I will not forget how much healthier I feel now.

I will not forget that we are all one bad decision away from a 19 year cave.

I will not forget that I am an addict.

-bigbamadan
"Im too drunk to taste this chicken"- col sanders
Quit date: 11/21/11
HOF date: 2/28/12
Comma date: 8/16/14
It's a freedom thing


Caving is NOT an option

-"Now I can walk through walls and my quit can talk to god. That's right. Crazy voodoo magic quit" Souliman

-'Stop being a pussy and quit' Tarpon17

-"this is the gheyest place on earth, if you say it in here it might become someones signature" Bigwhitebeast

- "We Quit Like Fuck" - Coach Steve

Offline copingwithoutcopen

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Re: SKOAL MONSTER
« Reply #245 on: July 01, 2014, 03:53:00 PM »
I will not become complacent.

I will not think I ever have this beat.

I will not let myself forget the chains in which kept me constantly tied to a can.

I will not forget how bad the first few weeks sucked.

I will not forget how much healthier I feel now.

I will not forget that we are all one bad decision away from a 19 year cave.

I will not forget that I am an addict.

-bigbamadan

Offline copingwithoutcopen

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Re: SKOAL MONSTER
« Reply #244 on: July 01, 2014, 03:36:00 PM »
“The next major fact about quitting is that when we quit alone we are extremely vulnerable, but when we build accountability with each other our strength grows exponentially.” Keddy

“That slave still exists inside of each of us. She is waiting for you to slip, but this place can be your defense.” BG

“Three of my uncles died of cancer. Their brother (my father) died last year of cancer. My grandfathers died of cancer. My great aunt and uncle died of cancer. My sister got cancer (in remission) my mother is dying right now of cancer. I thought I would dodge that bullet. So far, I have.” NOLAQ

“Posting Roll - I choose to post roll every day. It's as normal as taking a dump or having a cup of coffee. Why do I continue to do this well into my 5th year of freedom from this addiction? For you newbies out there, I'll tell you.

1. I do it for myself. I know from being around this site for so long that posting roll is the cornerstone of a person's quit. It is EVERYTHING in the beginning and is a sense of comfort as you progress years into your quit. I'm 99.99% sure that I will NEVER, EVER use tobacco again. I keep coming back for that 0.01% because I know if I make that simple promise each day then I can and will remain free. I know you guys will hold me accountable. The only people that I know that cave are people that quit posting roll. It is that simple. I won't be one of those people.

2. Pay it back... you've heard the story a hundred times but i REALLY suffered in trying to quit this shit. I sincerely want to help someone else. I remember those days and how horrible they were. This site is the ONLY thing that made me successful in my quit. I OWE it something and that something is trying to be a very, very small piece of that amazing web of support and help.

3. Many of the closest friends that I have made in my life are in here.
Some of them I haven't even met in person. That sense of brotherhood is a big reason that I remain....

Whatever YOUR reasons for posting roll are I hope you continue to do it. In the early weeks/months of your quit it will be the MOST important thing you do each day. As you progress, I hope you see the value of continuing on. If not I'm sure I'll see you back in here with your tail between your legs as a caver and pure example of what happens when you quit posting roll.  That one small gest of posting roll that takes less than a minute a day can and will be the breaking line of if some of you make it or not.
Don't take the chance. Post up....”
My promise is here today in the form of a simple phrase:
TCOPE = 1900... today I promise not to use tobacco. One day at a time....

Offline T-Cell

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Re: SKOAL MONSTER
« Reply #243 on: July 01, 2014, 03:19:00 PM »
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Bradleyguy
Quote from: Skoal
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: razd611
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Quote from: brettlees
Quote from: derk40
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Its_Got2Happen
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Accountibility.

My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.

I am accountable to myself

I am accountable to my wife and kids

I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.

I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.

At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.

Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.

I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .


I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.


'sac' :scowick:



NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????

That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time  have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.

However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.

Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.



Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.

Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.

I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...

Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.

Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.

I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.

I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.

Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.

Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.

I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.

I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.

Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.

sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.

Quits evolve, people evolve.

This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Quote
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.


JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.

BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.

sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?



'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.

The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.

Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.

My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Gotta agree with both quitters above me here. As I approach 900 days I know I am a far different quitter than I was at 100 or 200 or 300 days. I use to worry about caving, I use to crave, I went through all the phases we all went through (fog, anger, etc). That isn't part of my quit any more. I still post every day I'm on the grid (occasionally off to fish) because: 1)KTC showed me how to quit, I owe the site a huge thanks, 2)KTC members new and old continue to support and need support, I don't want to abandon that brotherhood just yet, and finally 3)it works and it continues to work.
I remember pre-100 days when I thought the HOF was a big benchmark, a graduation of sorts. I also remember being dissapointed when I realized absolutely nothing changes at that point. SM has had a huge impact on many quitters, myself included (he and WP scared the crap out of me), so I won't cast that stone either. Would love to see something slightly different for those with a lot of quit time in...
Fish, eat, sleep. Repeat.
quit date 2/10/12
HOF date 5/19/12
1 Year 2/10/13
2 Years 2/10/14
8th Floor 4/19/14

Offline Bruce

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Re: SKOAL MONSTER
« Reply #242 on: July 01, 2014, 03:09:00 PM »
Quote from: wastepanel
Guys: why worry about it?

Today is all that matters. Tomorrow means shit if we overlook today.
Exactly. Priority one, quit. Priority two, unleash freedom upon Belgium. Murica
Quit date: 11/21/11
HOF date: 2/28/12
Comma date: 8/16/14
It's a freedom thing


Caving is NOT an option

-"Now I can walk through walls and my quit can talk to god. That's right. Crazy voodoo magic quit" Souliman

-'Stop being a pussy and quit' Tarpon17

-"this is the gheyest place on earth, if you say it in here it might become someones signature" Bigwhitebeast

- "We Quit Like Fuck" - Coach Steve

Offline Diesel2112

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Re: SKOAL MONSTER
« Reply #241 on: July 01, 2014, 02:53:00 PM »
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Bradleyguy
Quote from: Skoal
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: razd611
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Quote from: brettlees
Quote from: derk40
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Its_Got2Happen
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Accountibility.

My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.

I am accountable to myself

I am accountable to my wife and kids

I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.

I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.

At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.

Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.

I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .


I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.


'sac' :scowick:



NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????

That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time  have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.

However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.

Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.



Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.

Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.

I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...

Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.

Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.

I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.

I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.

Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.

Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.

I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.

I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.

Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.

sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.

Quits evolve, people evolve.

This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Quote
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.


JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.

BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.

sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?



'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.

The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.

Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.

My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
What he said ^^^
Quit 06/04/12
HOF 9/11/12
2nd floor 12/20/12
3rd floor 03/30/13
4th floor 07/08/13
5th floor 10/16/13
6th floor 01/24/14
7th floor 05/04/14
8th floor 08/12/14
9th floor 10/20/14
Comma 02/28/15
11th floor 06/08/15
12th floor 09/16/15
13th floor 12/25/15
14th floor 04/03/16
15th floor 7/11/16
16th floor 10/20/16
17th floor 01/27/17
18th floor 05/08/17
19th floor 08/14/17
20th floor 11/27/17
21st floor 03/11/18

"Celebrate the moment as it turns into one more"..
"You can fight without ever winning, but never ever win, win without a fight".
"Onion rings...funyons. A connection? Yeah. I fucking think so."
"Honest Abe had a fake jaw".
"In a world that seems so small, I can't stop thinking big"
"Someone set a bad example. Made surrender seem all right
The act of a noble warrior. Who lost the will to fight."

Offline Instigator

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Re: SKOAL MONSTER
« Reply #240 on: July 01, 2014, 02:51:00 PM »
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Bradleyguy
Quote from: Skoal
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: razd611
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Quote from: brettlees
Quote from: derk40
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Its_Got2Happen
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Accountibility.

My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.

I am accountable to myself

I am accountable to my wife and kids

I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.

I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.

At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.

Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.

I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .


I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.


'sac' :scowick:



NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????

That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time  have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.

However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.

Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.



Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.

Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.

I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...

Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.

Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.

I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.

I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.

Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.

Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.

I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.

I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.

Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.

sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.

Quits evolve, people evolve.

This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Quote
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.


JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.

BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.

sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?



'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.

The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.

Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.

My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
Dang...there is a pretty well reasoned, rational response.


Geddafugouddahere!!!!


'winker'
The Rozzers--Catching crims and locking them up...in your community

Offline Mthomas3824

  • Epic Quitter
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  • Posts: 10,487
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Re: SKOAL MONSTER
« Reply #239 on: July 01, 2014, 02:44:00 PM »
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Bradleyguy
Quote from: Skoal
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: razd611
Quote from: gmann
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: Mthomas3824
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Quote from: brettlees
Quote from: derk40
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Its_Got2Happen
Quote from: Skoal Monster
Accountibility.

My battles here have all been fought, my lessons learned. I will always be an addict, that truth is burned into my addled brain. But there is no more danger of me caving. I'm past that. I'm just done, and it's ok. No fanfare, no wondering , no craves, no thoughts, no nostalgia. Just relief and regret. Sometimes victorious old warriors lay down their sword and dream of other things.

I am accountable to myself

I am accountable to my wife and kids

I am accountable to all of you that came before me and so graciously beat a path that I could follow.

I am accountable to all of you that came after me because my words still echo on these boards.

At some point , the accountability changed from you lunatics, back to me and my loved ones. In that subtle shift was the door slamming shut.

Roll call was fundamental in getting me to my feet, over a thousand days and a thousand daily promises until I learned how to keep just one promise. To stay quit, and then I did.

I haven't regularly posted roll since. I had to use the quit tracker to remember what day I was on. I check in from time to time, care about the site, the quitters, the admins, and even the window licking mods ;) . I come back for an inoculation of quit , and for the entertainment, and to see if my Syndrome decoder ring came in the mail. Sometimes I pitch in, some times I take. Don't confuse my lack of posting with a lack of credibility or integrity, perhaps I'm guilty "of a lack of recent participation" .


I am glad that the site was here for you when you needed it. Also glad that you still stop by to contribute periodically. Take what you need and leave the rest. Personally I still need roll. At 540 in I still feel like an infant in this quit. Perhaps that could change someday? I am sure it is different for everyone.
Your semi-bi annual contributions are very much appreciated. It's heartwarming to know that, somewhere over the rainbow, we too will be cured one day.


'sac' :scowick:



NOLAQ's dad used to say everything after "but" is bullshit. Good Luck.
"But there is no more danger of me caving." ????

That sentence is total BS. I get that you are in a good place... you have put in some time  have been a monster of quit. You helped me find the path too quit and I appreciate that.

However, there is always a danger for an addict. No matter how small the danger. There is no cure for being an addict. No magic pill, no time period, no nothing... it just is.

Whether you post roll or not everyday... that is your call. Just don't say "there is no more danger". The danger is always there and never totally fades.



Glad you are back posting more, you are great with words and support. And -- I have to agree with Derk and hope that those words are not a slip of the tongue revealing an achilles heel of complacency. I sort of get what you must have intended, but complacency is tricky so I question whether the words reveal a weakness. Have to say it in case you can't see it. It's called trying to have your back.
I'm far from complacent about my quit, believe me. I'm not suggesting I'm cured either. Nor am I suggesting that I roll call is not important. But the reality is that people don't stay here and post for 2,000 -3,000 days. why not? clearly they are not cured. Do they all cave? or is it something else.
My two cents on this. I am 840 days quit. I think I understand skoals point that he is still accountable and protects his quit. I don't think he was telling us what to do, he was explaining why he posts and why he doesn't. However, I can't fully understand what he means until I am at 2,002 days quit. So to the newbies on the site and anyone under 2,002 days quit, keep posting daily. When you reach 2002 days quit come back and read this post. Maybe it will make more sense. Until then, SM has been a great teacher in my quit. He knows the science behind our experiences. He is still quit and I have faith it will stay that way.
You know, mthomas...you are wise beyond your years. I've had a busy morning and have been thinking about this and came to the same conclusion.

Maybe, someday, I'll feel I have my addiction under control and won't need to post roll. But that's not important now. I need roll now, and I know that. I know that because I once had 3 years under my belt and still failed. I failed because I didn't keep my tools sharpened and ready.

I stopped posting roll the first time I was here around 150 days. It was a tumultuous time. My mom was dying from cancer. My wife and I were struggling with each other. Professionally, I had taken quite a hit to the ego and I was mulling over my next job. I got through these without failing (and roll), and I figured I had this. Time to concentrate on other things...

Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.

Roll is the same. It's you turning the key and verifying your quit will run when you need it.

I've failed before. Never again.
Personally, I don't like the fact that this discussion is necessary. Only because new guys read it and they don't need to be thinking about any day other than right this minute. But I guess it is necessary. It's obvious that some folks stop posting daily at some point, and people question. I questioned big time. The first time I questioned was when loot announced another sabbatical from the site and I was probably at day 200 to one year. He assured me his nic quit was safe and he was fine. I knew he'd also just recently quit the booze, so I implored him to text me his roll daily and he agreed. Worked out well and that's where our friendship developed. My attitude has always been that I disagree with the decision to not post daily (or at least text it in) and do all I can to get them to reconsider. If they won't agree to be here daily, I try to get them to text me their roll call. If they don't want to do that, I figure I have done everything I can do. Can't quit for them. Can't hold them accountable when they say they don't need it or want it.

I don't think I have ever missed roll call. If I have, it was only one or two days and I thought I had posted and didn't realize until the next day that I never actually hit roll call.

Yes, the guys who have made a habit of not roll calling daily, or taken breaks, sabbaticals, whatever, have no right to come back and preach EDD to a new guy. But I don't think it makes loot or skoal monster or gaytor a hypocrite necessarily, because they needed EDD when they were a new guy and they are now passing on what they know works. I know others disagree with the hypocrite part, and that's fine. Whether it is okay to ever stop posting daily, at what point, etc., is probably better for thread other than an intro. As I said above, my preference is to not mention it at all because new guys will find it. But if there is interest, maybe someone has a good suggestion of a place to continue the discussion. I'm not saying it can't continue here, I'm just sayin...
I thought intros were the exact place to record your quit progression and thoughts.

Some think they have found peace with their quit and don't think they need this place everyday anymore. Hopefully they are right. Yet we see monthly examples of those that were wrong with a fresh Day1.

I personally need this place on a daily basis. Sm has my number. He has many. I trust he will use them if needed.
True, Razd. Can't really hide it in the end anyway.

I don't know my future, but, right now I'm QLF EDD and NAFAR and hitting roll call EDD.

Did I miss any acronyms?
Just your membership to NAMBLA.
http://blog.ung.edu/hist3220/files/2012 ... -800wi.jpg SFW
Very interesting discussion you started here SM! Have been missing your intellect lately.
Further proof of my theory that you can only run the jackhammer for so long.

sM has helped me more than he will ever know. Whether he's here every day or checks in from time to time, that will NEVER change.

Quits evolve, people evolve.

This shouldn't scare the new guys, it should inspire them.
Quote
Every fall I put my law mower away after a season of use. It logs 3-4 hours a week summer through fall. We bought it 10 years ago and I've only had one instance that I had to send it in for repair work. It starts every time...well, except for those first few times each spring. I'm bad about starting it in the winter to assure smooth starting in the spring. I end up having to jump it, clean out the filters, change the oil, and wash off that junk I was too lazy to wash up before packing it away. In other words, my first On my way! is expletive laced and stressful. It takes me 3 times as long to get it done than normal, and my wife just sits inside shaking her head.

You never know when you're going to need your tools. I've luckily escaped so far. If I can't get it started, the shop has about a 4-5 week backlog. That means is have to beg and borrow or pay somebody $40 to mow the lawn twice a week. It won't be fun (especially of I have to wait to find out I need a new mower). I shouldn't take this chance when regular starting over the winter will alert me of issues beforehand and get it into the shop before I really need it.
I really like this NolaQ, Is it possible to take home the tools and learn to fix the lawnmower in the garage? or you think I'll connect the spark hammer to the doohickey?
I connected my doohickey to a spark hammer one time. It'll make yer kids be born nekkid.
I'm a little slow on the uptake... What I see here is a who's who of members who've actually, collectively posted about 20,000 consecutive days quit in a circle jerk about whether a fucking addict to a poisonous, deadly substance should promise to quit every day or just until he doesn't feel like it anymore.


JEEzousfuckingchrist, please make it stop.

BBJ over 7000 and he's still fucking here edd
Ready well over 3000 and he's still fucking here.
There's a shit ton of folks here well over 2000.

sM 1 post in May and you're all suckin him off like he's some sort of guru. What in the fuck is going on here?



'bj' Im just saying that I can't and won't throw stones until I reach 2,000+ days quit. Some quitters are in elementary school with their quits and go to recess and couldn't imagine school without recess. Then they go to Jr High and recess doesn't matter. High School and they stay late and practice a sport, on the debate team or in a play.

The point is, a kid in recess and a kid in highschool is not the same and comparing them is like comparing apples to oranges.

Now there is some evidence that if one person can abstain nicotine for five years. They will not behave like an addict. Is that a cure? I don't know but my quit is much different at 800 than is was under 100. I once wondered, "why fight" I'm going to cave some day. Today I don't think I will cave but the program isn't broke so why try to change or fix it. I still post because it works but I don't crave, dream or think like I did under 100 days.

My thoughts differ from SM but that's because I am on floor 8 and he is on floor 20. Our views are seeing the same view with different perspectives. Maybe he is so high up, he is in the clouds and full of shit. Maybe its clear and pretty bad ass up there. I don't know but before calling him a hypocrite, get to 2,000 days. Skoal monster is a guru and I won't back away from giving him his dues. But Its true, I wont get to 2k to call bull shit or agree if I don't quit and win today. 840 to Zero with nicotine this program works and I am only worried about today.
Quit And Be Free

HOF Speech

Offline wastepanel

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Re: SKOAL MONSTER
« Reply #238 on: July 01, 2014, 02:37:00 PM »
Guys: why worry about it?

Today is all that matters. Tomorrow means shit if we overlook today.
In the end I Surrender, I and I alone accept that I have and always will have a Nicotene ADDICTION. It is my choice to quit, but I can't do it alone. I get to go down this path one time, I want to do it right. I recognize that my word, my integrety to you is on the line and is only as good as my actions. Caving is not an option in this plan-Eafman 7/11

I am not cured. I will quit one day at a time. I will continue to do what works. Posting roll everyday. To do otherwise would be foolish on my part. You can do this-Ready 12/11

To overcome your addiction you must comprehend what it means to fail-Razd 3/12

Theres a lot of people that come here, especially vets, that WANT to be reminded that they are addicts.-Tarpon 6/12

Just as a building starts with architectural drawings. Your daily quit begins with a promise.-Scowick 2/13

Here and now, focused on today, minute by minute, whatever it takes, I promise to all my bros and myself not to become a negative stat and stay quit!-krok 1/15

I want everyone to be quit. Even the assholes.-Probe1957 1/18

Ignoring history or erasing history fixes nothing and leads you inevitably down the same path.-69franx 04/30/2021