I am a serial caver. I've quit using online support groups before and I haven't been able to maintain my quit. I stay committed for some time, several months, posting every day and living a healthy lifestyle but then I cave. My caves happen for three reasons:
1. Drifting away from my quit group. I get comfortable and overconfident thinking that I have this addiction beat. But it is never beat. Quitting requires a day after day commitment no matter if you are at 2 days or 200 days. I do know that it gets easier but it is never over. As much as I want to, I can't go back in time and remove the dips that I've taken. Once an addict, always an addict.
2. Alcohol. God dammit alcohol. I've come to accept that if I want to make quitting my top priority, I cannot drink alcohol. I've had my fun with alcohol and I've reached a point in my life where I need to do whatever I can to maintain my quit. I just can't risk my quit by having a few beers.
3. Just posting roll call and expecting to be quit just doesn't work. I need to put in more work, more effort, and sacrifice to make this work. I posted a few days ago day 1 and just left the site without reading stories and posting support for others on here. It doesn't work like that. I need to stay proactive with my quit.
Every day as a dipper, I've told myself that I will quit tomorrow. Such lies and bullshit! Below is a summary of themes that I've gleaned from other quitters and in my own experience.
1. Post roll every day, first thing in the morning.
2. Get involved with the quit group and other groups.
3. No alcohol.
4. Dipping is never an option.
5. There is no such thing as one dip.
6. Any craving for dip is a trick and I can't fall into the trap.
7. Cravings are temporary and things do get better.
8. I will always be an addict.
9. The process of quitting will spill over into other parts of my life, making me a better person.
10. Quitting is simple, it is a decision. It is hard but it is not rocket science.
11. There are a lot of things in life that I can't control. But I can control what I put into my mouth.
12. Failure is not an option, ever.
13. Just quit for today...do not worry about tomorrow.
14. Quit for yourself, I am quitting for myself.
15. Dipping does not make anything better. Dipping and going through withdrawal makes everything worse. Far worse.
I'm sure there are plenty more and I need to read more on the site to get in the quitting zone. I will help you all in your quits and I am here for support and to support others. November 17th is my day 1. I am posting in the February 2015 HOF group. Please stop in and offer support.
Thanks,
Tim
I dug this out of your what, 6 - 7 pages of excuse after excuse to show you why you failed, again, at 900. Tim, you have to understand that if you don't remain vigilant and use the tools this place provides, your addict brain will ALWAYS lead you back to caving. ALWAYS
I haven't looked yet to see if you posted your promise on the same day that you caved (any of those times). I sincerely hope that you didn't, because if you did, then we'd have to bring the whole concept of integrity up. I will go on record right here and tell you that if you don't have integrity, it almost certainly means that sooner or later, you're gonna fail again.
I'm not trying to be holier than thou....I'm trying to get you to pull your head out of your backside...
Just as I suspected, you let the alcohol cloud your judgement to the point you let it get to your integrity. You posted 908 at 9:17 central yesterday. This morning at 2:18 central you posted your "this is so hard to write" BS.....
Quitting is HARD. You know that. It's damn near IMPOSSIBLE if you can't figure out a way to stop lying to your quit brothers and your self.
I also noted that you posted a day 99 on the 29th day of May, 2014 and then vanished off the face of KTC until November.... kind of makes me wonder if you ever got to 100 the first time.
Tim, you're gonna have to figure out a way to regain your honor or integrity. If you can't do that, I can't see you ever being successful in a quit. That may sound harsh, but it is the truth, near as I can reckon.
