Just Quit! Help?1?

[jdubthe2nd]

So, about a month or two ago, I realized I don't remember anything from before about 11 or 12. The things my brother yesterday made me understand why. I was abused. physically and emotionally. by my psychotic mother. so...there's that. don't know what to think or feel.

[jdubthe2nd]

I don't recall saying anything about coffee. It must have been an much earlier post. I don't drink coffee, at all. I only did in the marines when i got up at 3.
I understand your concern about my quit and doing it for my wife. And let me assure you, its not for her. It is for me. So that I can finally be the man I want to be, and be a good role model to my kids (when i have them) and so i can have a healthy relationship with my wife (even if my current wife never takes me back).

My addiction has caused me to do things i believe i normally would not do. And if i do not stop, I don't know where I'll end up.

[Skoal Monster]

You are going thru hell right now and for that, I'm sorry. I think you're going to need more than just us nic addicts to guide you they this. I suggest getting some professional help. I think we can all feel your sadness and pain by reading your words and I believe you need it. I still stand by you and will quit with you. I'm on day 8, so I'm not a vet but I'm here to talk to if you want. I was a chewer for 23 years so I'm going thru the suck too. Might as well do it together. Stay strong and remember every day gets a little better.

That's the way! JW2 I'm glad you're quitting pot too. It will be hard, as you know. Does your group in Jan 15 know you mean "no pot" too, when you post daily? It seems like this site's methods can help you with that too if you take advantage of it. You can do this, and good to help others learn from your mistake.

New beginnings, wiped the slate clean, from good and bad- you can create whatever you want now. It will be hard, but you will also be free so it can be great with time and persistence and realy continued effort by you. I'm pulling for you.

salutations

Google Cross addiction- I am suspicious that you used weed to replace nicotine. I'll take my speculations further and say you were partial to more stimulating strains- sativas as opposed to indicas. nicotine and weed both work on similar brain pathways. - look into it. Your body needs time to heal without you using substances that force endorphin release. IMO.

in addition- I hate to be the dick in the room but it seems to me that your quitting for your wife not you. If your marriage wasn't on the rocks, would you still be quitting? think hard on this before you reply.

The evil of Addiction is that it puts itself first, before health, before spouse and kids, before your job, before your marriage, before death. Chained to the can or the pipe you can never really live your life fully. It is too much work to feed that monkey day in and day out not to mention hiding it from the outside world.

Last I believe one of your first posts talks about coffee, lay off the fucking coffee. Nicotine counteracts caffeine. When you quit chewing you effectively doubled your dose of caffeine if your still using the same amount. The fact that you don't know this after a year of quitting on this site is a red flag.

Pull your shit together, the most important thing you need to do today is stay quit.

My mailbox is open if you want to discuss further.......... I've been there.

sM

[brettlees]

You are going thru hell right now and for that, I'm sorry. I think you're going to need more than just us nic addicts to guide you they this. I suggest getting some professional help. I think we can all feel your sadness and pain by reading your words and I believe you need it. I still stand by you and will quit with you. I'm on day 8, so I'm not a vet but I'm here to talk to if you want. I was a chewer for 23 years so I'm going thru the suck too. Might as well do it together. Stay strong and remember every day gets a little better.

That's the way! JW2 I'm glad you're quitting pot too. It will be hard, as you know. Does your group in Jan 15 know you mean "no pot" too, when you post daily? It seems like this site's methods can help you with that too if you take advantage of it. You can do this, and good to help others learn from your mistake.

New beginnings, wiped the slate clean, from good and bad- you can create whatever you want now. It will be hard, but you will also be free so it can be great with time and persistence and realy continued effort by you. I'm pulling for you.

[gooch44]

You are going thru hell right now and for that, I'm sorry. I think you're going to need more than just us nic addicts to guide you they this. I suggest getting some professional help. I think we can all feel your sadness and pain by reading your words and I believe you need it. I still stand by you and will quit with you. I'm on day 8, so I'm not a vet but I'm here to talk to if you want. I was a chewer for 23 years so I'm going thru the suck too. Might as well do it together. Stay strong and remember every day gets a little better.

[Done4Me]

Is there anyone on here that i can talk to about my drug addiction? the page for it is kinda empty

You can try jumping on chat. I used to smoke pot back in the day. Not so much the past 30 years. For me it was not a big deal. i just stopped. Tell me about your trials.

[jdubthe2nd]

Is there anyone on here that i can talk to about my drug addiction? the page for it is kinda empty

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

If you're quit and you're going strong, you might start to think that you have this beat. SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT.
I was quit for almost a year. and now I'm on day 3. Don't make the same mistake I did and get away from KTC! This is your only defense! You cannot trust yourself to make the right decision! I was fine. I thought I had this shit on lock. Nicotine couldn't touch me, that is until I picked her up. Without each other, we will be slaves forever. I am thankful that I was allowed to return. And i will not miss a day of posting. I will not leave the KTC. I'm going to the fucking hall of legends.

Any of you could be the next one to fall. I never thought I would. Don't be so stupid and proud. REACH OUT! Like I should have! The disappointment you face in yourself is ridiculous.
Please listen to me, you can't quit alone, thats why we are here. Don't think you can post, reach the HOF and be cured. YOU ARE NEVER CURED! That is why it's one day at a time.
I'll get off my soapbox now. Just learn from me and my mistake. I wish i was approaching a year of quit.

Well no shit dumbass! Glad you're back. Stick around this time.

[jdubthe2nd]

If you're quit and you're going strong, you might start to think that you have this beat. SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT.
I was quit for almost a year. and now I'm on day 3. Don't make the same mistake I did and get away from KTC! This is your only defense! You cannot trust yourself to make the right decision! I was fine. I thought I had this shit on lock. Nicotine couldn't touch me, that is until I picked her up. Without each other, we will be slaves forever. I am thankful that I was allowed to return. And i will not miss a day of posting. I will not leave the KTC. I'm going to the fucking hall of legends.

Any of you could be the next one to fall. I never thought I would. Don't be so stupid and proud. REACH OUT! Like I should have! The disappointment you face in yourself is ridiculous.
Please listen to me, you can't quit alone, thats why we are here. Don't think you can post, reach the HOF and be cured. YOU ARE NEVER CURED! That is why it's one day at a time.
I'll get off my soapbox now. Just learn from me and my mistake. I wish i was approaching a year of quit.

[Done4Me]

I'm glad you're reading this. Just saw you post in January. Lot of shit going down but the only person the can pull you out of it is the man in the mirror. Win the nic battle, then move to priority 2.

[Done4Me]

I actually think you're in a good situation. No where to go but up. You feel awful now at how things have worked out but they will get better.

Use this site to build a quit that strengthens you in other areas. If I'm in your shoes, I focus all of my energies on a long term quit. You beat the nic demon and you will be invigorated to tackle other problem areas.

Be true to yourself.

[jdubthe2nd]

Thanks Menace. I'm grateful for you guys. I live in NC, where my wife is from. I don't know anybody here. My wife is kicking me out. I'm moving to Memphis to work with my brother as an electrician. It may be the best thing for me to do. So i have to be responsible for myself. I'm hoping my wife will give me one last chance to prove I can do this. All of it. Quit pot, nic, lying, wasting money and time. I spend most of my time in tears and my house is empty (she's at her moms). I havent felt this alone since my dad died when i was 11.

[Menace]

I've gone to get help, our marriage counselor refuses to see me alone because she thinks i need a substance abuse counselor. But i cant even afford that shit. and i dont have insurance. I need anti depressants. moderate-severe derpession runs in my family. Im finally going to put pot down too. I havent smoke pot since saturday. I finally want to do it for me and not her. She gave me the ultimatum many times and i ignored it. Well now i finally get it, and i want to stop...but she's gone. Im hoping we can work things out.
and to Pinched, No the smoke didnt help at all.

Well Josh, it sounds like your marriage counselor might be right about the substance abuse but since I only know what you have put here in this intro, it would be difficult to say without background. I can tell you that I have seen lots of people smoke pot "harmlessly" and before they know it, their life is in the shitter. Its all great it your late teens and early 20's but unfortunately we all get older. The problem with any mind altering substance is that it can effect your dopamine and neuro-pathway's which ultimately can cause long term issues such as depression. This is because you have been feeding your brain that dopamine from an outside source and it stopped producing its own or backed way off. Not saying that is the case with you as I would need more information but just some food for thought. I am glad to hear that you are stopping marijuana now as well and are getting back on the quit train as well. Not trying to dog you here, just trying to provide the little insight I have to you and anyone else who might give a shit. Hang in there and for sure go see a professional regardless if your insurance covers it. You mental health is worth it dude!

[jdubthe2nd]

THE THREE

Sorry for the short replies. I had to use my phone. now on a computer.

So, yea I caved. My wife and I had problems with me smoking pot. I couldn't stop and stop hiding it from her. She finally had enough and left. I was/am in despair. I wanted anything that could make the pain stop. The decision to accept that cigarette from that neighbor was an impulse. The fact is, I didn't think about it, it just happened. before I knew it, I had a pack in my hand. Maybe the reason was I was lonely and smoking can be a social interaction. I had almost no problem throughout this year staying quit until now. I broke because I am weak. I broke because the first time I tried, my wife was with me. she was my strength and motivation. and I felt like it really didn't matter anymore. Why should I care about myself? I thought immaturely. And I knew I was wrong after I took that first hit, but I didn't stop. And I kept on because I didn't want to go through The Suck again. I was afraid of how it would affect me in my current emotional state. I can't fucking believe I threw away almost a year of being quit. And it did me no good. My wife came to visit me at work and smelled the smoke. She was furious and I've just pushed her away that much more. I want to quit nicotine for good so I can manage to live a long healthy life, hopefully with my wife.

I had gotten away from KTC and the text group I was a part of. My phone ended up broken and got another one. I never had retrieved the phone numbers I collected. Very stupid of me. And yes, piss poor planning. I should've been ready to reach out. I should've turned that smoke down. And I should've quit smoking pot long ago.

So brothers, I know I dishonored myself and broke my word. But I would ask you let me be quit with you. This time I quit nicotine. This time I quit Marijuana. No excuses, no crutches. Just a warm welcome to withdrawal and the hard times to come. I will reach out this time. I will stay active, I will post EVERY DAMN DAY. I will quit like fuck! For myself and you all. I will show you that change is possible. That failing once doesn't mean you will always fail. I cannot do this alone. I need my brothers in quit. My head is pounding and my heart is broken. Theres no where to go but up.

[jdubthe2nd]

I've gone to get help, our marriage counselor refuses to see me alone because she thinks i need a substance abuse counselor. But i cant even afford that shit. and i dont have insurance. I need anti depressants. moderate-severe derpession runs in my family. Im finally going to put pot down too. I havent smoke pot since saturday. I finally want to do it for me and not her. She gave me the ultimatum many times and i ignored it. Well now i finally get it, and i want to stop...but she's gone. Im hoping we can work things out.
and to Pinched, No the smoke didnt help at all.