My Quit

[miles]

Miles – 239 – I wanted to dress up as Buffalo Bill Cody (not the ‘put the lotion in the basket’ serial killing Buff Bill) but I never could get my Buffalo to chill the fuck out enough for me to saddle him up. I dressed up as Buffalo Bill last year (the serial killing one) and rode Roy (my buffalo) around the neighborhood. People were honking and asking for pictures. I told them to piss off before I skin their asses and wear them as an overcoat. THAT got their attention. Next thing you know, I go the po-po jacking me up asking about insurance on my Buffalo. I told the police that I was unaware that insurance was required to ride a buffalo on public roadways in the State of Georgia…well buddy let me tell you what. Insurance IS required in this state to operate a buffalo on public roadways and a violation is punishable up to 200 days in the slammer and $1000. I got off with a warning. Whew…close call. Next year I’m dressing up as a Buffalo. Gotta stick with the theme.

[Souliman]

I've decided to copy and paste my story telling to my intro. That way my psychiatrist only has to refer to one thread on here..LOL


Miles - 235 - Have you guys ever used goat skin rubbers? They were invented by some crazy middle eastern dudes but Husker perfected the design by removing the large intestines from the goat FIRST. Of course Husker now prefers the traditional method of wearing goat skin rubbers. I have a goat skin blanket that's pretty warm. That reminds me of the time I got stuck on the wrong side of the Eisenhower Tunnel (Colorado) and they closed the road to all traffic. I was almost out of gas and had to crank my 1982 Volvo 240DL up every half hour or so. Damn it was cold that night. I hunted down and killed a goat. It's pelt saved my life. Every time I see a goat, I thank them.


Miles - 2*3=6 - Quit with a 5k today. Speaking of 5k's, that reminds me of the time I got lost in TJ (Tijuana Meheecoh). I had a guy offer me a woman and the donkey she was riding for 5k. Keep in mind she was hanging upside down from said donky so I was a little confused as to who was riding whom but that doesn't matter right? ANyhow, I told the lil 'Migo that I was fresh outta dough because I blew it on MExican Blackbirds and BJ's at the local brothel. He offered to 'save' this deal for me if I could come up with the cash but I just turned and ran away. I have no use for a donkey or the whore that was riding. The funny thing was the chicks name was sister Sarah and she was wanting to trade for two mules but she got stuck with the donkey...I don't know if she could handle some two mule DP but this crazy whore was gonna try..oh Lord, I think I've said too much...I apologize.


Miles – 238 – I won a game of checkers one time by jumping every single one of my opponent’s game pieces in the second move of the game. He moved his red checker up one space and then I wrecked his shit with my black checker. I remember the incredulous look on his face. He was like “What the fuck are you doing?” I just smiled back at him and said “Prepare for world domination clown shoes!” His Mom walked into the room and offered milk, cookies and a look down her blouse and I of course smacked her on the ass and told her to bake me a fucking pie. My friend kinda blushed because he was embarrassed about the whole situation. I told him to go to his room and do my math homework. He said “but I am already in my room”. Touché

Your a weird guy Ace, weird guy!

That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my affairs. :P

I dig me some Miles' rants day or night.

[miles]

I've decided to copy and paste my story telling to my intro. That way my psychiatrist only has to refer to one thread on here..LOL


Miles - 235 - Have you guys ever used goat skin rubbers? They were invented by some crazy middle eastern dudes but Husker perfected the design by removing the large intestines from the goat FIRST. Of course Husker now prefers the traditional method of wearing goat skin rubbers. I have a goat skin blanket that's pretty warm. That reminds me of the time I got stuck on the wrong side of the Eisenhower Tunnel (Colorado) and they closed the road to all traffic. I was almost out of gas and had to crank my 1982 Volvo 240DL up every half hour or so. Damn it was cold that night. I hunted down and killed a goat. It's pelt saved my life. Every time I see a goat, I thank them.


Miles - 2*3=6 - Quit with a 5k today. Speaking of 5k's, that reminds me of the time I got lost in TJ (Tijuana Meheecoh). I had a guy offer me a woman and the donkey she was riding for 5k. Keep in mind she was hanging upside down from said donky so I was a little confused as to who was riding whom but that doesn't matter right? ANyhow, I told the lil 'Migo that I was fresh outta dough because I blew it on MExican Blackbirds and BJ's at the local brothel. He offered to 'save' this deal for me if I could come up with the cash but I just turned and ran away. I have no use for a donkey or the whore that was riding. The funny thing was the chicks name was sister Sarah and she was wanting to trade for two mules but she got stuck with the donkey...I don't know if she could handle some two mule DP but this crazy whore was gonna try..oh Lord, I think I've said too much...I apologize.


Miles – 238 – I won a game of checkers one time by jumping every single one of my opponent’s game pieces in the second move of the game. He moved his red checker up one space and then I wrecked his shit with my black checker. I remember the incredulous look on his face. He was like “What the fuck are you doing?” I just smiled back at him and said “Prepare for world domination clown shoes!” His Mom walked into the room and offered milk, cookies and a look down her blouse and I of course smacked her on the ass and told her to bake me a fucking pie. My friend kinda blushed because he was embarrassed about the whole situation. I told him to go to his room and do my math homework. He said “but I am already in my room”. Touché

Your a weird guy Ace, weird guy!

That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my affairs. :P

[steve1357]

I've decided to copy and paste my story telling to my intro. That way my psychiatrist only has to refer to one thread on here..LOL


Miles - 235 - Have you guys ever used goat skin rubbers? They were invented by some crazy middle eastern dudes but Husker perfected the design by removing the large intestines from the goat FIRST. Of course Husker now prefers the traditional method of wearing goat skin rubbers. I have a goat skin blanket that's pretty warm. That reminds me of the time I got stuck on the wrong side of the Eisenhower Tunnel (Colorado) and they closed the road to all traffic. I was almost out of gas and had to crank my 1982 Volvo 240DL up every half hour or so. Damn it was cold that night. I hunted down and killed a goat. It's pelt saved my life. Every time I see a goat, I thank them.


Miles - 2*3=6 - Quit with a 5k today. Speaking of 5k's, that reminds me of the time I got lost in TJ (Tijuana Meheecoh). I had a guy offer me a woman and the donkey she was riding for 5k. Keep in mind she was hanging upside down from said donky so I was a little confused as to who was riding whom but that doesn't matter right? ANyhow, I told the lil 'Migo that I was fresh outta dough because I blew it on MExican Blackbirds and BJ's at the local brothel. He offered to 'save' this deal for me if I could come up with the cash but I just turned and ran away. I have no use for a donkey or the whore that was riding. The funny thing was the chicks name was sister Sarah and she was wanting to trade for two mules but she got stuck with the donkey...I don't know if she could handle some two mule DP but this crazy whore was gonna try..oh Lord, I think I've said too much...I apologize.


Miles – 238 – I won a game of checkers one time by jumping every single one of my opponent’s game pieces in the second move of the game. He moved his red checker up one space and then I wrecked his shit with my black checker. I remember the incredulous look on his face. He was like “What the fuck are you doing?” I just smiled back at him and said “Prepare for world domination clown shoes!” His Mom walked into the room and offered milk, cookies and a look down her blouse and I of course smacked her on the ass and told her to bake me a fucking pie. My friend kinda blushed because he was embarrassed about the whole situation. I told him to go to his room and do my math homework. He said “but I am already in my room”. Touché

Your a weird guy Ace, weird guy!

[miles]

I've decided to copy and paste my story telling to my intro. That way my psychiatrist only has to refer to one thread on here..LOL


Miles - 235 - Have you guys ever used goat skin rubbers? They were invented by some crazy middle eastern dudes but Husker perfected the design by removing the large intestines from the goat FIRST. Of course Husker now prefers the traditional method of wearing goat skin rubbers. I have a goat skin blanket that's pretty warm. That reminds me of the time I got stuck on the wrong side of the Eisenhower Tunnel (Colorado) and they closed the road to all traffic. I was almost out of gas and had to crank my 1982 Volvo 240DL up every half hour or so. Damn it was cold that night. I hunted down and killed a goat. It's pelt saved my life. Every time I see a goat, I thank them.


Miles - 2*3=6 - Quit with a 5k today. Speaking of 5k's, that reminds me of the time I got lost in TJ (Tijuana Meheecoh). I had a guy offer me a woman and the donkey she was riding for 5k. Keep in mind she was hanging upside down from said donky so I was a little confused as to who was riding whom but that doesn't matter right? ANyhow, I told the lil 'Migo that I was fresh outta dough because I blew it on MExican Blackbirds and BJ's at the local brothel. He offered to 'save' this deal for me if I could come up with the cash but I just turned and ran away. I have no use for a donkey or the whore that was riding. The funny thing was the chicks name was sister Sarah and she was wanting to trade for two mules but she got stuck with the donkey...I don't know if she could handle some two mule DP but this crazy whore was gonna try..oh Lord, I think I've said too much...I apologize.


Miles – 238 – I won a game of checkers one time by jumping every single one of my opponent’s game pieces in the second move of the game. He moved his red checker up one space and then I wrecked his shit with my black checker. I remember the incredulous look on his face. He was like “What the fuck are you doing?” I just smiled back at him and said “Prepare for world domination clown shoes!” His Mom walked into the room and offered milk, cookies and a look down her blouse and I of course smacked her on the ass and told her to bake me a fucking pie. My friend kinda blushed because he was embarrassed about the whole situation. I told him to go to his room and do my math homework. He said “but I am already in my room”. Touché

[azchief32]

This bears repeating though: I love dip rage! I was in traffic yesterday and rolled my window down to tell someone to get fucked. I don't recommend you do this unless you are prepared for fistucuffs or exchanging gunfire. Definitely stay in your car. I am already an asshole when it comes to dealing with traffic and dip rage will max my asshole meter out to an 11. I will choke slam your grandma if she is fucking up traffic in my vicinty and I will feel bad afterward. After the release of my hatred for someone else's dumbassery and stupidity, I feel awesome for at least a day though. It's that release..maybe I do need to see a therapist.Miles

This made me no shit laugh out loud. Yesterday, I was cussing out an older driver and my wife was like, "Be nice, they are just old people." In my dip rage, I replied, "Fuck em. I get that old and drive like shit, yank my license." Yes, the empathy for my elders was seeping out yesterday.

[Souliman]

Miles: Let me share the following with you. It's something I wrote in my group on my day 163 - close enough to your 177 to merit a connection, methinks.

The point of the following is twofold:

1. To show solidarity and familiarity...to show that I, too, was trounced with funk

2. To show that a funk doesn't matter at all. It can be beaten. I am on day 891 now. The funks STILL come. I beat them. You will, too, so long as you have balls.


"WHY does quitting need to be so fucking hard? Honest to God.

You bet your ass...waaaaaaaaaah. I am whining. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

But I do not care. I don't care which of my quit brothers are THA MAN who have this shit beaten...snapped up by the scruff of the neck and slaughtered.

I want to have a dip right now. I want to be possessed and owned by tobacco. I want to spit Skoal juice all over my dick and balls, add some kerosene, and set my jock on fire. All to distract myself from the fact that I have been quit for 163 days and still want to gut spit for a half hour and then puke into my keyboard.

Fuck it/you/your mom/everything. I will whine whine whine. And if you judge me or make fun of me or say I am weak, your ancestors will burn in eternal hellfire.

Whining is better than caving. So lick my penis head.

I also kinda want to shit in my pants right now, just for the fuck of it."

Where is the application for making Dean my life coach? I can't seem to find the link.

No application necessary, so long as you're not Chinese. I hate the Chinese.

Just my ruck.

[Radman]

Thanks Dean?  Bullshit.

I'm gonna *assume* you didn't intend for this to make me feel bad.

Hell no! Point was that both of y'all had some good points. I still owe you thanks from past moments of clarity you bestowed upon me.

[DeanTheCoot]

Thanks Dean?  Bullshit.

I'm gonna *assume* you didn't intend for this to make me feel bad.

[Radman]

Thanks Dean. I feel deep down like I still want a dip. As much as I hate nicotine now, I still have this nagging sensation to go buy a can and say fuck it. This is where I win. I've already said "I ain't caving today!" so it's pointless now for me to dwell on it. It's those days in the funk that make me really hate myself for dipping in the first place. There are no take backs, only takeaways. The nic bitch took a lot of my money, time and attention. She'll try and take your life if you let her. Fuck her.

On a side note, I told a random stranger that he was gonna die a horrible fucking death if he keeps dipping that shit. This guy was packing a can, climbing in his truck at the store a couple of weeks ago. He just looked at me like I was a pinko commie fag and drove off. I used to be that guy. Fuck me.

You're at a point now, Miles, where the funks are going to be more difficult. The mind is a strange creature. You hammered through 100 days on spirit alone. You did another 75 out of pride alone. It's very easy to ask yourself "Now what?" Well, homegirl, NOW you notch the days out of a commitment to yourself. Pure balls.

Like you said: "I ain't caving today!" That's going to have to be good enough. It's You versus Nicotine, every day now, for the rest of your life.

I like the story of telling a random stranger that he was gonna die a horrible death if he kept dipping. To make things more interesting, I suggest you just tell the next stranger "You're gonna die a horrible death" for no particular reason...do not specify one.

It's really funny to say such a thing to an ordinary woman in her early 60s as she spills out of her Buick LeSabre to buy scratch tickets at the WaWa. She'll give you a look that exposes a mix of confusion and fear, but also a sort of worship, like she knows you have intimate, perhaps prophetic, knowledge of the future. For that moment, you are the most powerful person she has ever seen.

And that's why I hate myself for even starting this shit. There's no normal for a fucking addict is there? Always an addict....

Thanks for the pep talk Dean

This is an excellent read for a Friday when my work motivation is shot to shit anyway.

Thanks Dean? Bullshit. I say thanks to both of you. This ranting has helped me out today. It is a reminder of who I am... who WE are. Addicts. Up until almost 200 days, I absolutely was that guy in traffic yelling at every sumbitch that demonstrated their below-average IQ or insufficient grasp on traffic flow.

The diamond in this thread was Miles quote: "I used to be that guy. Fuck me."

Yes, indeed. We did this shit to ourselves. But, we're winning the daily battle. Now, I gotta go find that LeSabre at WW......

[miles]

Thanks Dean. I feel deep down like I still want a dip. As much as I hate nicotine now, I still have this nagging sensation to go buy a can and say fuck it. This is where I win. I've already said "I ain't caving today!" so it's pointless now for me to dwell on it. It's those days in the funk that make me really hate myself for dipping in the first place. There are no take backs, only takeaways. The nic bitch took a lot of my money, time and attention. She'll try and take your life if you let her. Fuck her.

On a side note, I told a random stranger that he was gonna die a horrible fucking death if he keeps dipping that shit. This guy was packing a can, climbing in his truck at the store a couple of weeks ago. He just looked at me like I was a pinko commie fag and drove off. I used to be that guy. Fuck me.

You're at a point now, Miles, where the funks are going to be more difficult. The mind is a strange creature. You hammered through 100 days on spirit alone. You did another 75 out of pride alone. It's very easy to ask yourself "Now what?" Well, homegirl, NOW you notch the days out of a commitment to yourself. Pure balls.

Like you said: "I ain't caving today!" That's going to have to be good enough. It's You versus Nicotine, every day now, for the rest of your life.

I like the story of telling a random stranger that he was gonna die a horrible death if he kept dipping. To make things more interesting, I suggest you just tell the next stranger "You're gonna die a horrible death" for no particular reason...do not specify one.

It's really funny to say such a thing to an ordinary woman in her early 60s as she spills out of her Buick LeSabre to buy scratch tickets at the WaWa. She'll give you a look that exposes a mix of confusion and fear, but also a sort of worship, like she knows you have intimate, perhaps prophetic, knowledge of the future. For that moment, you are the most powerful person she has ever seen.

And that's why I hate myself for even starting this shit. There's no normal for a fucking addict is there? Always an addict....

Thanks for the pep talk Dean

[DeanTheCoot]

Thanks Dean. I feel deep down like I still want a dip. As much as I hate nicotine now, I still have this nagging sensation to go buy a can and say fuck it. This is where I win. I've already said "I ain't caving today!" so it's pointless now for me to dwell on it. It's those days in the funk that make me really hate myself for dipping in the first place. There are no take backs, only takeaways. The nic bitch took a lot of my money, time and attention. She'll try and take your life if you let her. Fuck her.

On a side note, I told a random stranger that he was gonna die a horrible fucking death if he keeps dipping that shit. This guy was packing a can, climbing in his truck at the store a couple of weeks ago. He just looked at me like I was a pinko commie fag and drove off. I used to be that guy. Fuck me.

You're at a point now, Miles, where the funks are going to be more difficult. The mind is a strange creature. You hammered through 100 days on spirit alone. You did another 75 out of pride alone. It's very easy to ask yourself "Now what?" Well, homegirl, NOW you notch the days out of a commitment to yourself. Pure balls.

Like you said: "I ain't caving today!" That's going to have to be good enough. It's You versus Nicotine, every day now, for the rest of your life.

I like the story of telling a random stranger that he was gonna die a horrible death if he kept dipping. To make things more interesting, I suggest you just tell the next stranger "You're gonna die a horrible death" for no particular reason...do not specify one.

It's really funny to say such a thing to an ordinary woman in her early 60s as she spills out of her Buick LeSabre to buy scratch tickets at the WaWa. She'll give you a look that exposes a mix of confusion and fear, but also a sort of worship, like she knows you have intimate, perhaps prophetic, knowledge of the future. For that moment, you are the most powerful person she has ever seen.

[DeanTheCoot]

Miles: Let me share the following with you. It's something I wrote in my group on my day 163 - close enough to your 177 to merit a connection, methinks.

The point of the following is twofold:

1. To show solidarity and familiarity...to show that I, too, was trounced with funk

2. To show that a funk doesn't matter at all. It can be beaten. I am on day 891 now. The funks STILL come. I beat them. You will, too, so long as you have balls.


"WHY does quitting need to be so fucking hard? Honest to God.

You bet your ass...waaaaaaaaaah. I am whining. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

But I do not care. I don't care which of my quit brothers are THA MAN who have this shit beaten...snapped up by the scruff of the neck and slaughtered.

I want to have a dip right now. I want to be possessed and owned by tobacco. I want to spit Skoal juice all over my dick and balls, add some kerosene, and set my jock on fire. All to distract myself from the fact that I have been quit for 163 days and still want to gut spit for a half hour and then puke into my keyboard.

Fuck it/you/your mom/everything. I will whine whine whine. And if you judge me or make fun of me or say I am weak, your ancestors will burn in eternal hellfire.

Whining is better than caving. So lick my penis head.

I also kinda want to shit in my pants right now, just for the fuck of it."

Where is the application for making Dean my life coach? I can't seem to find the link.

No application necessary, so long as you're not Chinese. I hate the Chinese.

[Souliman]

Miles: Let me share the following with you. It's something I wrote in my group on my day 163 - close enough to your 177 to merit a connection, methinks.

The point of the following is twofold:

1. To show solidarity and familiarity...to show that I, too, was trounced with funk

2. To show that a funk doesn't matter at all. It can be beaten. I am on day 891 now. The funks STILL come. I beat them. You will, too, so long as you have balls.


"WHY does quitting need to be so fucking hard? Honest to God.

You bet your ass...waaaaaaaaaah. I am whining. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

But I do not care. I don't care which of my quit brothers are THA MAN who have this shit beaten...snapped up by the scruff of the neck and slaughtered.

I want to have a dip right now. I want to be possessed and owned by tobacco. I want to spit Skoal juice all over my dick and balls, add some kerosene, and set my jock on fire. All to distract myself from the fact that I have been quit for 163 days and still want to gut spit for a half hour and then puke into my keyboard.

Fuck it/you/your mom/everything. I will whine whine whine. And if you judge me or make fun of me or say I am weak, your ancestors will burn in eternal hellfire.

Whining is better than caving. So lick my penis head.

I also kinda want to shit in my pants right now, just for the fuck of it."

Where is the application for making Dean my life coach? I can't seem to find the link.

[Keddy]

Day 177 and let me tell you, I've had a rough couple of days. Felt like I was in a funk. I'm the type of guy who is all calm and collected on the outside but internally I am all fucked up sometimes. Seems like every time a funk comes, I get emotionally fucked up for a few days but it doesn't stay long. Is everyone else kinda half-fucked up or is it just me? I probably need to see a damn therapist.

This bears repeating though: I love dip rage! I was in traffic yesterday and rolled my window down to tell someone to get fucked. I don't recommend you do this unless you are prepared for fistucuffs or exchanging gunfire. Definitely stay in your car. I am already an asshole when it comes to dealing with traffic and dip rage will max my asshole meter out to an 11. I will choke slam your grandma if she is fucking up traffic in my vicinty and I will feel bad afterward. After the release of my hatred for someone else's dumbassery and stupidity, I feel awesome for at least a day though. It's that release..maybe I do need to see a therapist.

I believe I'm developing a bit of a crush on you, Miles.

I saw this coming from a Miles away.

Haha..I used to get asked how many Miles I can run...good times.

I'm taken Per...sorry :wub:

The funks come and go; cancer usually comes to stay . . . .

We recognize the funks for what they are and with some thunderous dip rage we give the nic bitch the finger and move on.

No more for me, baby!! So fuck off!!