My good cave

[Wt57]

Day 475
I need to record feelings I've been dealing with lately.  I've been falling into a depressed state very gradually over several weeks.  Recognizing and trying to overcome I noticed my thoughts of dipping and some degree of craving started taking up too much of my thoughts.  I know I used nicotine to 'escape' in the past.  I have the tools to stay quit but I don't have the tools to cope with deteriorating mental state.  Thus the conflict; the tool I used for depression was removed from the toolbox and hasn't been replaced with a substitute.  Just saying I recognize I have a huge void which was part of my life for 4 decades, replacing it will take effort and won't happen overnight.  KTC is a tool that has been helpful in filling hours of my time but I need more now.  It's my opinion that I'm not alone, it seems that those that cave after long pauses haven't replaced their past nicotine usage with a suitable replacement and fall back on what they knew from the past that fulfilled the need.  I'm working on finding the answers and replacement activities.  I'm open to suggestions.

Back to basics WT. You are allowing the old lies of the nic bitch to be whispered back into your ear.

Nicotine fills no voids in your life, it creates them.

You don't need that shit to fill any voids in your life. You want something to keep your idle hands and mind busy, get a new hobby. Start needlepoint, widdling wood, reading the good book, playing silly video games, crossword puzzles, model making, SOMETHING other than posioning yourself again. You know damn well that shit is only going to lead to more problems.

Also, is it not true that you said previous that USING nicotine caused you depression? In fact was that not the title of your HOF speech, "The missing warning label...this product may cause depression and thoughs of suicide"? I may be wrong as I'm going by pure memory here, but usually my mind/memory is pretty spot on.

Now you are saying nicotine was the tool you used to deal with depression and has been removed from the toolbox? YOU are the one who told ME that brain chemistry is a tricky thing and it was in fact modern medicine that kept your depression in check and that I should investigate the same thing as I became depressed when I quit...and I did, and it worked and may have saved my fucking life . Was/is that not a tool you should be using to deal with that issue, and not nicotine? Have you been diligent on that front of late?

I think you're daydreaming WT. I think youre feeling a little blue, perhaps a little bored and have that falsified gaze of thinking nic can cure what ails ya

BLINK. OR, I'M CLAPPING AS HARD AS I CAN RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE ....WAKE UP!!!

You say guys cave after a long time because they haven't found a suitable replacement for the nic bitch. You really believe that? I don't fully.

I believe guys cave after a long time because they start to believe the lies again. That nic is going to make things better, that they can handle just one now and they aren't addicts anymore, that the reward outweighs the risk. In fact I believe I have heard YOU say such things. Again, I could be mistaken but like I said, my memory serves me pretty well and you have taught me A LOT, and when you speak my ears perk up and I listen.

475 days is a long time to be quit, but after 40 years of use I don't think its uncommon to have thoughts like this. In fact its probably very natural and perhaps even healthy for you.

It gives you yet another chance to step back and see nicotine addiction for what it really is. A pack of bullshit lies that will continually pop into your noggin from time to time.

Not sure I helped you much but just putting down how I honestly feel. Hopefully others will do the same and you will have some good stuff to draw from to help get you back to feeling occupied.

We all know damn sure, nicotine ain't the answer.

Diesel out.

Spot on advice. I think I know the void you are talking about, besides time though what void ? Sitting and spitting, walking and spitting etc you know the different activities you partook and chewed.

Do not believe the lies your addicted mind tells you. The task is to find enjoyment in your life again.

If I can help you let me know. I will say a prayer for you brother.

475 days, wow. Do you, or have you ever played guitar?? It is something i started doing about 10 years ago. something I have really enjoyed and you will be surprised how much time it kills. When you first start learning the time and places your mind travels are amazing.

Wait, i'm to old for the guitar. False!

Wait, I can't because my fingers are to chubby. False!

Wait, I can't because my fingers are to short. False!

There is also a lot of instruments out there that will help if guitar doesn't suit you.

Keyboard, violin, harmonica, cello. These are just a few. I could see you playing a violin,, sure.

Just throwing this out there. You may be an accomplished instrumentalist already. Glad to be quit with you WT...

Good idea. I hear wedge plays a mean Hungarian crotch bugle. Maybe he can give you some lessons?

Thanks guys. That's why I posted, I needed a kick in the nuts to wake me up. Not in danger of caving and never was just feeling sorry for myself. That damn bitch always knows and recognizes our weak moments. Lets all have a great quit weekend! Out!!

[Diesel2112]

Day 475
I need to record feelings I've been dealing with lately.  I've been falling into a depressed state very gradually over several weeks.  Recognizing and trying to overcome I noticed my thoughts of dipping and some degree of craving started taking up too much of my thoughts.  I know I used nicotine to 'escape' in the past.  I have the tools to stay quit but I don't have the tools to cope with deteriorating mental state.  Thus the conflict; the tool I used for depression was removed from the toolbox and hasn't been replaced with a substitute.  Just saying I recognize I have a huge void which was part of my life for 4 decades, replacing it will take effort and won't happen overnight.  KTC is a tool that has been helpful in filling hours of my time but I need more now.  It's my opinion that I'm not alone, it seems that those that cave after long pauses haven't replaced their past nicotine usage with a suitable replacement and fall back on what they knew from the past that fulfilled the need.  I'm working on finding the answers and replacement activities.  I'm open to suggestions.

Back to basics WT. You are allowing the old lies of the nic bitch to be whispered back into your ear.

Nicotine fills no voids in your life, it creates them.

You don't need that shit to fill any voids in your life. You want something to keep your idle hands and mind busy, get a new hobby. Start needlepoint, widdling wood, reading the good book, playing silly video games, crossword puzzles, model making, SOMETHING other than posioning yourself again. You know damn well that shit is only going to lead to more problems.

Also, is it not true that you said previous that USING nicotine caused you depression? In fact was that not the title of your HOF speech, "The missing warning label...this product may cause depression and thoughs of suicide"? I may be wrong as I'm going by pure memory here, but usually my mind/memory is pretty spot on.

Now you are saying nicotine was the tool you used to deal with depression and has been removed from the toolbox? YOU are the one who told ME that brain chemistry is a tricky thing and it was in fact modern medicine that kept your depression in check and that I should investigate the same thing as I became depressed when I quit...and I did, and it worked and may have saved my fucking life . Was/is that not a tool you should be using to deal with that issue, and not nicotine? Have you been diligent on that front of late?

I think you're daydreaming WT. I think youre feeling a little blue, perhaps a little bored and have that falsified gaze of thinking nic can cure what ails ya

BLINK. OR, I'M CLAPPING AS HARD AS I CAN RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE ....WAKE UP!!!

You say guys cave after a long time because they haven't found a suitable replacement for the nic bitch. You really believe that? I don't fully.

I believe guys cave after a long time because they start to believe the lies again. That nic is going to make things better, that they can handle just one now and they aren't addicts anymore, that the reward outweighs the risk. In fact I believe I have heard YOU say such things. Again, I could be mistaken but like I said, my memory serves me pretty well and you have taught me A LOT, and when you speak my ears perk up and I listen.

475 days is a long time to be quit, but after 40 years of use I don't think its uncommon to have thoughts like this. In fact its probably very natural and perhaps even healthy for you.

It gives you yet another chance to step back and see nicotine addiction for what it really is. A pack of bullshit lies that will continually pop into your noggin from time to time.

Not sure I helped you much but just putting down how I honestly feel. Hopefully others will do the same and you will have some good stuff to draw from to help get you back to feeling occupied.

We all know damn sure, nicotine ain't the answer.

Diesel out.

Spot on advice. I think I know the void you are talking about, besides time though what void ? Sitting and spitting, walking and spitting etc you know the different activities you partook and chewed.

Do not believe the lies your addicted mind tells you. The task is to find enjoyment in your life again.

If I can help you let me know. I will say a prayer for you brother.

475 days, wow. Do you, or have you ever played guitar?? It is something i started doing about 10 years ago. something I have really enjoyed and you will be surprised how much time it kills. When you first start learning the time and places your mind travels are amazing.

Wait, i'm to old for the guitar. False!

Wait, I can't because my fingers are to chubby. False!

Wait, I can't because my fingers are to short. False!

There is also a lot of instruments out there that will help if guitar doesn't suit you.

Keyboard, violin, harmonica, cello. These are just a few. I could see you playing a violin,, sure.

Just throwing this out there. You may be an accomplished instrumentalist already. Glad to be quit with you WT...

Good idea. I hear wedge plays a mean Hungarian crotch bugle. Maybe he can give you some lessons?

[srans]

Day 475
I need to record feelings I've been dealing with lately.  I've been falling into a depressed state very gradually over several weeks.  Recognizing and trying to overcome I noticed my thoughts of dipping and some degree of craving started taking up too much of my thoughts.  I know I used nicotine to 'escape' in the past.  I have the tools to stay quit but I don't have the tools to cope with deteriorating mental state.  Thus the conflict; the tool I used for depression was removed from the toolbox and hasn't been replaced with a substitute.  Just saying I recognize I have a huge void which was part of my life for 4 decades, replacing it will take effort and won't happen overnight.  KTC is a tool that has been helpful in filling hours of my time but I need more now.  It's my opinion that I'm not alone, it seems that those that cave after long pauses haven't replaced their past nicotine usage with a suitable replacement and fall back on what they knew from the past that fulfilled the need.  I'm working on finding the answers and replacement activities.  I'm open to suggestions.

Back to basics WT. You are allowing the old lies of the nic bitch to be whispered back into your ear.

Nicotine fills no voids in your life, it creates them.

You don't need that shit to fill any voids in your life. You want something to keep your idle hands and mind busy, get a new hobby. Start needlepoint, widdling wood, reading the good book, playing silly video games, crossword puzzles, model making, SOMETHING other than posioning yourself again. You know damn well that shit is only going to lead to more problems.

Also, is it not true that you said previous that USING nicotine caused you depression? In fact was that not the title of your HOF speech, "The missing warning label...this product may cause depression and thoughs of suicide"? I may be wrong as I'm going by pure memory here, but usually my mind/memory is pretty spot on.

Now you are saying nicotine was the tool you used to deal with depression and has been removed from the toolbox? YOU are the one who told ME that brain chemistry is a tricky thing and it was in fact modern medicine that kept your depression in check and that I should investigate the same thing as I became depressed when I quit...and I did, and it worked and may have saved my fucking life . Was/is that not a tool you should be using to deal with that issue, and not nicotine? Have you been diligent on that front of late?

I think you're daydreaming WT. I think youre feeling a little blue, perhaps a little bored and have that falsified gaze of thinking nic can cure what ails ya

BLINK. OR, I'M CLAPPING AS HARD AS I CAN RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE ....WAKE UP!!!

You say guys cave after a long time because they haven't found a suitable replacement for the nic bitch. You really believe that? I don't fully.

I believe guys cave after a long time because they start to believe the lies again. That nic is going to make things better, that they can handle just one now and they aren't addicts anymore, that the reward outweighs the risk. In fact I believe I have heard YOU say such things. Again, I could be mistaken but like I said, my memory serves me pretty well and you have taught me A LOT, and when you speak my ears perk up and I listen.

475 days is a long time to be quit, but after 40 years of use I don't think its uncommon to have thoughts like this. In fact its probably very natural and perhaps even healthy for you.

It gives you yet another chance to step back and see nicotine addiction for what it really is. A pack of bullshit lies that will continually pop into your noggin from time to time.

Not sure I helped you much but just putting down how I honestly feel. Hopefully others will do the same and you will have some good stuff to draw from to help get you back to feeling occupied.

We all know damn sure, nicotine ain't the answer.

Diesel out.

Spot on advice. I think I know the void you are talking about, besides time though what void ? Sitting and spitting, walking and spitting etc you know the different activities you partook and chewed.

Do not believe the lies your addicted mind tells you. The task is to find enjoyment in your life again.

If I can help you let me know. I will say a prayer for you brother.

475 days, wow. Do you, or have you ever played guitar?? It is something i started doing about 10 years ago. something I have really enjoyed and you will be surprised how much time it kills. When you first start learning the time and places your mind travels are amazing.

Wait, i'm to old for the guitar. False!

Wait, I can't because my fingers are to chubby. False!

Wait, I can't because my fingers are to short. False!

There is also a lot of instruments out there that will help if guitar doesn't suit you.

Keyboard, violin, harmonica, cello. These are just a few. I could see you playing a violin,, sure.

Just throwing this out there. You may be an accomplished instrumentalist already. Glad to be quit with you WT...

[omahaflyer]

Day 475
I need to record feelings I've been dealing with lately.  I've been falling into a depressed state very gradually over several weeks.  Recognizing and trying to overcome I noticed my thoughts of dipping and some degree of craving started taking up too much of my thoughts.  I know I used nicotine to 'escape' in the past.  I have the tools to stay quit but I don't have the tools to cope with deteriorating mental state.  Thus the conflict; the tool I used for depression was removed from the toolbox and hasn't been replaced with a substitute.  Just saying I recognize I have a huge void which was part of my life for 4 decades, replacing it will take effort and won't happen overnight.  KTC is a tool that has been helpful in filling hours of my time but I need more now.  It's my opinion that I'm not alone, it seems that those that cave after long pauses haven't replaced their past nicotine usage with a suitable replacement and fall back on what they knew from the past that fulfilled the need.  I'm working on finding the answers and replacement activities.  I'm open to suggestions.

Back to basics WT. You are allowing the old lies of the nic bitch to be whispered back into your ear.

Nicotine fills no voids in your life, it creates them.

You don't need that shit to fill any voids in your life. You want something to keep your idle hands and mind busy, get a new hobby. Start needlepoint, widdling wood, reading the good book, playing silly video games, crossword puzzles, model making, SOMETHING other than posioning yourself again. You know damn well that shit is only going to lead to more problems.

Also, is it not true that you said previous that USING nicotine caused you depression? In fact was that not the title of your HOF speech, "The missing warning label...this product may cause depression and thoughs of suicide"? I may be wrong as I'm going by pure memory here, but usually my mind/memory is pretty spot on.

Now you are saying nicotine was the tool you used to deal with depression and has been removed from the toolbox? YOU are the one who told ME that brain chemistry is a tricky thing and it was in fact modern medicine that kept your depression in check and that I should investigate the same thing as I became depressed when I quit...and I did, and it worked and may have saved my fucking life . Was/is that not a tool you should be using to deal with that issue, and not nicotine? Have you been diligent on that front of late?

I think you're daydreaming WT. I think youre feeling a little blue, perhaps a little bored and have that falsified gaze of thinking nic can cure what ails ya

BLINK. OR, I'M CLAPPING AS HARD AS I CAN RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE ....WAKE UP!!!

You say guys cave after a long time because they haven't found a suitable replacement for the nic bitch. You really believe that? I don't fully.

I believe guys cave after a long time because they start to believe the lies again. That nic is going to make things better, that they can handle just one now and they aren't addicts anymore, that the reward outweighs the risk. In fact I believe I have heard YOU say such things. Again, I could be mistaken but like I said, my memory serves me pretty well and you have taught me A LOT, and when you speak my ears perk up and I listen.

475 days is a long time to be quit, but after 40 years of use I don't think its uncommon to have thoughts like this. In fact its probably very natural and perhaps even healthy for you.

It gives you yet another chance to step back and see nicotine addiction for what it really is. A pack of bullshit lies that will continually pop into your noggin from time to time.

Not sure I helped you much but just putting down how I honestly feel. Hopefully others will do the same and you will have some good stuff to draw from to help get you back to feeling occupied.

We all know damn sure, nicotine ain't the answer.

Diesel out.

Spot on advice. I think I know the void you are talking about, besides time though what void ? Sitting and spitting, walking and spitting etc you know the different activities you partook and chewed.

Do not believe the lies your addicted mind tells you. The task is to find enjoyment in your life again.

If I can help you let me know. I will say a prayer for you brother.

[Diesel2112]

Day 475
I need to record feelings I've been dealing with lately.  I've been falling into a depressed state very gradually over several weeks.  Recognizing and trying to overcome I noticed my thoughts of dipping and some degree of craving started taking up too much of my thoughts.  I know I used nicotine to 'escape' in the past.  I have the tools to stay quit but I don't have the tools to cope with deteriorating mental state.  Thus the conflict; the tool I used for depression was removed from the toolbox and hasn't been replaced with a substitute.  Just saying I recognize I have a huge void which was part of my life for 4 decades, replacing it will take effort and won't happen overnight.  KTC is a tool that has been helpful in filling hours of my time but I need more now.  It's my opinion that I'm not alone, it seems that those that cave after long pauses haven't replaced their past nicotine usage with a suitable replacement and fall back on what they knew from the past that fulfilled the need.  I'm working on finding the answers and replacement activities.  I'm open to suggestions.

Back to basics WT. You are allowing the old lies of the nic bitch to be whispered back into your ear.

Nicotine fills no voids in your life, it creates them.

You don't need that shit to fill any voids in your life. You want something to keep your idle hands and mind busy, get a new hobby. Start needlepoint, widdling wood, reading the good book, playing silly video games, crossword puzzles, model making, SOMETHING other than posioning yourself again. You know damn well that shit is only going to lead to more problems.

Also, is it not true that you said previous that USING nicotine caused you depression? In fact was that not the title of your HOF speech, "The missing warning label...this product may cause depression and thoughs of suicide"? I may be wrong as I'm going by pure memory here, but usually my mind/memory is pretty spot on.

Now you are saying nicotine was the tool you used to deal with depression and has been removed from the toolbox? YOU are the one who told ME that brain chemistry is a tricky thing and it was in fact modern medicine that kept your depression in check and that I should investigate the same thing as I became depressed when I quit...and I did, and it worked and may have saved my fucking life . Was/is that not a tool you should be using to deal with that issue, and not nicotine? Have you been diligent on that front of late?

I think you're daydreaming WT. I think youre feeling a little blue, perhaps a little bored and have that falsified gaze of thinking nic can cure what ails ya

BLINK. OR, I'M CLAPPING AS HARD AS I CAN RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE ....WAKE UP!!!

You say guys cave after a long time because they haven't found a suitable replacement for the nic bitch. You really believe that? I don't fully.

I believe guys cave after a long time because they start to believe the lies again. That nic is going to make things better, that they can handle just one now and they aren't addicts anymore, that the reward outweighs the risk. In fact I believe I have heard YOU say such things. Again, I could be mistaken but like I said, my memory serves me pretty well and you have taught me A LOT, and when you speak my ears perk up and I listen.

475 days is a long time to be quit, but after 40 years of use I don't think its uncommon to have thoughts like this. In fact its probably very natural and perhaps even healthy for you.

It gives you yet another chance to step back and see nicotine addiction for what it really is. A pack of bullshit lies that will continually pop into your noggin from time to time.

Not sure I helped you much but just putting down how I honestly feel. Hopefully others will do the same and you will have some good stuff to draw from to help get you back to feeling occupied.

We all know damn sure, nicotine ain't the answer.

Diesel out.

[Wt57]

Day 475
I need to record feelings I've been dealing with lately. I've been falling into a depressed state very gradually over several weeks. Recognizing and trying to overcome I noticed my thoughts of dipping and some degree of craving started taking up too much of my thoughts. I know I used nicotine to 'escape' in the past. I have the tools to stay quit but I don't have the tools to cope with deteriorating mental state. Thus the conflict; the tool I used for depression was removed from the toolbox and hasn't been replaced with a substitute. Just saying I recognize I have a huge void which was part of my life for 4 decades, replacing it will take effort and won't happen overnight. KTC is a tool that has been helpful in filling hours of my time but I need more now. It's my opinion that I'm not alone, it seems that those that cave after long pauses haven't replaced their past nicotine usage with a suitable replacement and fall back on what they knew from the past that fulfilled the need. I'm working on finding the answers and replacement activities. I'm open to suggestions.

[T-Cell]

HOF + 1 year!  HOF is an accomplishment that is achieved with determination and help from the brotherhood. 

H----help and aid in
O---overcoming and conquering my
F---fear of failure by living the KTC plan ODAAT

That 100 day accomplishment 1 year ago was a very exciting beginning to a very different life for me.  After over 14,000 days of being an addict (all of my adult life) living nicotine free has taken a lot of adjustment and is still a struggle at times.  It would be easier to fall back to the old ways of doing things rather than learning and growing.  I've learned to love the freedom, hate nicotine and what it stole from me.  I've learned to dwell on the here and now and let go of most of my past.  I still catch myself sneaking back into the past but have those that slap me back into today.  The same goes for thinking about the future, when I start questioning if I can make my commitment last I remember that I can do whatever I want TODAY!  Yesterday I went on a hike with my 5 yr old grandson, we climbed a steep hill and when we turned around to descend the hill he asked.  How do we get down?  The answer was as simple as quitting nicotine 'one step at a time.' 
Today is gone and I was successful in keeping my word.  Either late tonight or when I wake in the morning I will recommit to be nicotine free 1 more day.  464 days nicotine free have come and gone in my life, it seems like yesterday that I joined my BOQ.  I'll never forget the pain, when I start thinking it wasn't so bad I return to my intro and refresh my memory.  I can't begin to express how greatful I am to KTC and so many of you for expecting me to keep my word.  In some aspect  we are strangers but in othes we are companions experiencing the same journey that non-addict friends can never understand.  Thank you!

'worship'

Thanks wt,, you made today a breeze

'clap' 'clap' 'clap'

Bravo... encore!

Well said WT! I'll quit with you today and every day...

[omahaflyer]

HOF + 1 year!  HOF is an accomplishment that is achieved with determination and help from the brotherhood. 

H----help and aid in
O---overcoming and conquering my
F---fear of failure by living the KTC plan ODAAT

That 100 day accomplishment 1 year ago was a very exciting beginning to a very different life for me.  After over 14,000 days of being an addict (all of my adult life) living nicotine free has taken a lot of adjustment and is still a struggle at times.  It would be easier to fall back to the old ways of doing things rather than learning and growing.  I've learned to love the freedom, hate nicotine and what it stole from me.  I've learned to dwell on the here and now and let go of most of my past.  I still catch myself sneaking back into the past but have those that slap me back into today.  The same goes for thinking about the future, when I start questioning if I can make my commitment last I remember that I can do whatever I want TODAY!  Yesterday I went on a hike with my 5 yr old grandson, we climbed a steep hill and when we turned around to descend the hill he asked.  How do we get down?  The answer was as simple as quitting nicotine 'one step at a time.' 
Today is gone and I was successful in keeping my word.  Either late tonight or when I wake in the morning I will recommit to be nicotine free 1 more day.  464 days nicotine free have come and gone in my life, it seems like yesterday that I joined my BOQ.  I'll never forget the pain, when I start thinking it wasn't so bad I return to my intro and refresh my memory.  I can't begin to express how greatful I am to KTC and so many of you for expecting me to keep my word.  In some aspect  we are strangers but in othes we are companions experiencing the same journey that non-addict friends can never understand.  Thank you!

'worship'

Thanks wt,, you made today a breeze

'clap' 'clap' 'clap'

Bravo... encore!

[Grizzly25]

HOF + 1 year!  HOF is an accomplishment that is achieved with determination and help from the brotherhood. 

H----help and aid in
O---overcoming and conquering my
F---fear of failure by living the KTC plan ODAAT

That 100 day accomplishment 1 year ago was a very exciting beginning to a very different life for me.  After over 14,000 days of being an addict (all of my adult life) living nicotine free has taken a lot of adjustment and is still a struggle at times.  It would be easier to fall back to the old ways of doing things rather than learning and growing.  I've learned to love the freedom, hate nicotine and what it stole from me.  I've learned to dwell on the here and now and let go of most of my past.  I still catch myself sneaking back into the past but have those that slap me back into today.  The same goes for thinking about the future, when I start questioning if I can make my commitment last I remember that I can do whatever I want TODAY!  Yesterday I went on a hike with my 5 yr old grandson, we climbed a steep hill and when we turned around to descend the hill he asked.  How do we get down?  The answer was as simple as quitting nicotine 'one step at a time.' 
Today is gone and I was successful in keeping my word.  Either late tonight or when I wake in the morning I will recommit to be nicotine free 1 more day.  464 days nicotine free have come and gone in my life, it seems like yesterday that I joined my BOQ.  I'll never forget the pain, when I start thinking it wasn't so bad I return to my intro and refresh my memory.  I can't begin to express how greatful I am to KTC and so many of you for expecting me to keep my word.  In some aspect  we are strangers but in othes we are companions experiencing the same journey that non-addict friends can never understand.  Thank you!

'worship'

Thanks wt,, you made today a breeze

'clap' 'clap' 'clap'

[srans]

HOF + 1 year!  HOF is an accomplishment that is achieved with determination and help from the brotherhood. 

H----help and aid in
O---overcoming and conquering my
F---fear of failure by living the KTC plan ODAAT

That 100 day accomplishment 1 year ago was a very exciting beginning to a very different life for me.  After over 14,000 days of being an addict (all of my adult life) living nicotine free has taken a lot of adjustment and is still a struggle at times.  It would be easier to fall back to the old ways of doing things rather than learning and growing.  I've learned to love the freedom, hate nicotine and what it stole from me.  I've learned to dwell on the here and now and let go of most of my past.  I still catch myself sneaking back into the past but have those that slap me back into today.  The same goes for thinking about the future, when I start questioning if I can make my commitment last I remember that I can do whatever I want TODAY!  Yesterday I went on a hike with my 5 yr old grandson, we climbed a steep hill and when we turned around to descend the hill he asked.  How do we get down?  The answer was as simple as quitting nicotine 'one step at a time.' 
Today is gone and I was successful in keeping my word.  Either late tonight or when I wake in the morning I will recommit to be nicotine free 1 more day.  464 days nicotine free have come and gone in my life, it seems like yesterday that I joined my BOQ.  I'll never forget the pain, when I start thinking it wasn't so bad I return to my intro and refresh my memory.  I can't begin to express how greatful I am to KTC and so many of you for expecting me to keep my word.  In some aspect  we are strangers but in othes we are companions experiencing the same journey that non-addict friends can never understand.  Thank you!

'worship'

Thanks wt,, you made today a breeze

[jaynellie]

HOF + 1 year! HOF is an accomplishment that is achieved with determination and help from the brotherhood.

H----help and aid in
O---overcoming and conquering my
F---fear of failure by living the KTC plan ODAAT

That 100 day accomplishment 1 year ago was a very exciting beginning to a very different life for me. After over 14,000 days of being an addict (all of my adult life) living nicotine free has taken a lot of adjustment and is still a struggle at times. It would be easier to fall back to the old ways of doing things rather than learning and growing. I've learned to love the freedom, hate nicotine and what it stole from me. I've learned to dwell on the here and now and let go of most of my past. I still catch myself sneaking back into the past but have those that slap me back into today. The same goes for thinking about the future, when I start questioning if I can make my commitment last I remember that I can do whatever I want TODAY! Yesterday I went on a hike with my 5 yr old grandson, we climbed a steep hill and when we turned around to descend the hill he asked. How do we get down? The answer was as simple as quitting nicotine 'one step at a time.'
Today is gone and I was successful in keeping my word. Either late tonight or when I wake in the morning I will recommit to be nicotine free 1 more day. 464 days nicotine free have come and gone in my life, it seems like yesterday that I joined my BOQ. I'll never forget the pain, when I start thinking it wasn't so bad I return to my intro and refresh my memory. I can't begin to express how greatful I am to KTC and so many of you for expecting me to keep my word. In some aspect we are strangers but in othes we are companions experiencing the same journey that non-addict friends can never understand. Thank you!

'worship'

[Wt57]

HOF + 1 year! HOF is an accomplishment that is achieved with determination and help from the brotherhood.

H----help and aid in
O---overcoming and conquering my
F---fear of failure by living the KTC plan ODAAT

That 100 day accomplishment 1 year ago was a very exciting beginning to a very different life for me. After over 14,000 days of being an addict (all of my adult life) living nicotine free has taken a lot of adjustment and is still a struggle at times. It would be easier to fall back to the old ways of doing things rather than learning and growing. I've learned to love the freedom, hate nicotine and what it stole from me. I've learned to dwell on the here and now and let go of most of my past. I still catch myself sneaking back into the past but have those that slap me back into today. The same goes for thinking about the future, when I start questioning if I can make my commitment last I remember that I can do whatever I want TODAY! Yesterday I went on a hike with my 5 yr old grandson, we climbed a steep hill and when we turned around to descend the hill he asked. How do we get down? The answer was as simple as quitting nicotine 'one step at a time.'
Today is gone and I was successful in keeping my word. Either late tonight or when I wake in the morning I will recommit to be nicotine free 1 more day. 464 days nicotine free have come and gone in my life, it seems like yesterday that I joined my BOQ. I'll never forget the pain, when I start thinking it wasn't so bad I return to my intro and refresh my memory. I can't begin to express how greatful I am to KTC and so many of you for expecting me to keep my word. In some aspect we are strangers but in othes we are companions experiencing the same journey that non-addict friends can never understand. Thank you!

[JRizzle]

At this time 1 year ago I was about half way to HOF and facing annual stress that I feared would be my downfall.  Turned out I was on a adrenaline high that made the craving and triggers seem like minor distractions.  Lately I've been struggling with those seasonal activities and stresses that have always been dealt with by hiding behind a can of dip.  I have no desire to use nicotine but I also don't have the adrenaline pulling me through the stressful days.  I find myself vulnerable to being drawn in by an activity that would dull the stress.  Impulsive eating in the late evening has become an escape.  Unlike so many others i didn't overeat or gain weight when I quit.  In fact I lost 30# but the in just the past week i've gained 10#.  My mind has been working overtime trying to make those adjustments to deal with life.  I recognize what is going on but really not coping well with it.  If I had quit any other time of year I would have had to deal with these seasonal pressures the first time around. In about 1 month along with my long days I'm going on a 3 day Boy Scout council camp, they are expecting 10,000 boys to attend.  I still get panic attacks in crowds of people.    I know I need to find positive activities, attitudes and coping skills.  I'm just not quite sure how to do it, life has always been ruled by nicotine.  I'm open to any suggestions.

WT, there have been several occasions over the past four months where you have said you have been inspired by ME. Well, YOU have been one of the main dudes who inspire me. I can't offer anything more than Diesel, Jay, Kana, Phil, SirDerek, or IG2H have offered, but I can ask you to inspire me once again.

INSPIRE ME, WT!! There are days I still need it and I don't see that going away. Diesel used the word fear with one hell of an acronym. You are NOT scared of quitting anymore, nor are you scared of those triggers.

INSPIRE ME, WT!!

BTW, the student did NOT just become the teacher. I wrote half of that for me. You, WT, are still the teacher. And I'll bet Diesel's house, too. :)

Thanks everyone! You are all right, I've got this and all my success should have me living a life of confidence. The years of failure and slavery left me with a low self esteem. I guess I'm not alone, many of us are experiencing such dramatic changes that only time can make our healing possible. D, I'm no more of a teacher than you or anyone else. We all wear multiple hats in our membership here at KTC. Watching so many addicts come and go I see that activity (giving and taking advise, just immersion in the site) is directly proportional to success in quitting and staying quit. A couple hundred days ago I thought I should be able to remove myself from the site and be "cured". It was about that time that 2 close KTC friends caved, one at 205 days and another at 2 years. Reality finally set in that I was still a newbie. Like the invincibility that led us to using nicotine when we were 'young' is very similar to the false sense of security in our quit that leads so many 'new' quitters (under 2 years) to cave. I believe many that quit and leave the site remain quit just like many addicts quit completely on their own. How they are different from me is a mystery. I don't need that answer, all I need is what works for me and the tools that I need to remain quit. Just sharing experiences and having others respond is one of those powerful tools. Each of us find our own niche, the activity online that helps us most.

Great read wt. I appreciate you brother. I can't give you to much advice, but I will throw some out there.

I know your going to do this, but let me just say. Meet them obstacles head on WT. Don't even give it another thought. If you want to paint your house, plan and paint. I get up sometimes and I feel like krap, but once I'm up and moving around i'm fine. Same thing with those obstacles WT. Once you get out there and start them, the thinking about it will be over and you will find that they are just another day in Quitville.

I'm so glad your in my corner WT, you and others are the reason I'm hear. I literally feel like I owe some of ya'll my life. Thanks. Glad to be quit with you.

Repeat this my friend...out loud....100 times...while looking in the mirror....then tell me how you feel....

Now I am the Voice.

I will LEAD, not follow.

I will BELIEVE, not doubt.

I will CREATE, not destroy.

I am a FORCE for God.

I am a LEADER.

That is really good stuff CleanFuel. I don't know why there is power in hearing something as well as saying it, but there is.

[Mthomas3824]

I Hate a Cave and always have and always will!
Most of us probably feel the same way.  Most of us have probably been there, years of addiction placed me in that stupid position of caving hundreds of times.  The fight or race of winning against nicotine can be so overwhelming without a crowd cheering us on.  A poem that expresses the tenacity that an addict should have:  The Race.

I will usually jump in and give a caver shit for giving in to the weakness that could be averted if only they followed the KTC plan.  Lately we've seen some really stupid falls.  I'm here to join in the crowd that is on the sideline cheering them on to see if they will pick theirselves up and continue the race.  Too many times when I fell down I waited for the runners in the next race to encourage me to get up.  Laying on the ground in self pity was my way of coping till I found a audience of others in the same race encouraging me along.  I'm not caving and I'm running like hell.  That isn't to say that at times I don't get one of those stupid craves.  These stumbles can slow me down or give me encouragement because I've successfully fought that urge off.  I hear the crowd cheering me on and choose to continue the race daily.  If you listen close I'll be there beside you cheering you on.  Thank you for cheering me on, I'm winning with all your encouragement.

I've missed all the caves but sounds like a rash of caving broke out. I still think it comes down the phrase..."It's not the dog in the fight that counts, its the fight in the dog." Some of these addicts are just submissive bitches.

This plan works if you really want to quit and follow it with exactness. There is no mystery to a cave. A cave is ALWAYS planned. It usually starts when the addict starts to think about his quit past today. They become weakened in the "quit forever" thinking then act on impulse....Sad really. So I feel sorry for them, but for me, I love that I hate the poison and have no crave or want for it. I still have other battles but this one...as long as I keep to the plan, is a cake walk.

[Wt57]

I Hate a Cave and always have and always will!
Most of us probably feel the same way. Most of us have probably been there, years of addiction placed me in that stupid position of caving hundreds of times. The fight or race of winning against nicotine can be so overwhelming without a crowd cheering us on. A poem that expresses the tenacity that an addict should have: The Race.

I will usually jump in and give a caver shit for giving in to the weakness that could be averted if only they followed the KTC plan. Lately we've seen some really stupid falls. I'm here to join in the crowd that is on the sideline cheering them on to see if they will pick theirselves up and continue the race. Too many times when I fell down I waited for the runners in the next race to encourage me to get up. Laying on the ground in self pity was my way of coping till I found a audience of others in the same race encouraging me along. I'm not caving and I'm running like hell. That isn't to say that at times I don't get one of those stupid craves. These stumbles can slow me down or give me encouragement because I've successfully fought that urge off. I hear the crowd cheering me on and choose to continue the race daily. If you listen close I'll be there beside you cheering you on. Thank you for cheering me on, I'm winning with all your encouragement.