Somethiing I wanted on my intro page.
Some great words of wisdom from Redtrain14. - 2541
I remember it vividly to this dayÂ…..Day 75 quit. I was driving around in my truck during work, not really sure what I was doing. IÂ’m sure I had some work task that I was supposed to do but I found myself just driving aimlessly. I had two Gatorade bottles in my cup holders full of sunflower seeds, atomic fire ball wrappers all over the floor and I found myself fondling this pack of Extra gum like it was the last tin on Earth.
“What the hell is going on here?”
In my complete and total fog, I found myself thinking about my quit and this website. I was everywhere here and was just starting to find my voice. I hawked this place all day long waiting for the next new post and making sure all my quit buddies had posted for the day. I knew the posting patterns of at 6 different quit groups including all of the groups that had come after me. I knew who wasn’t there when they should be. I would send friendly notes saying, “hey…where you at”. Sometimes I would get a “oh…sorry, got sidetracked at work” or a “fuck off” or…..nothing. The nothings always bothered me. I just couldn’t understand how someone couldn’t be actively working on their quit.
At homeÂ….I was a big turd. At this point in my quit I was coming home and either spending my time on the computer in the basement on quit chat or, falling asleep about 6pm on the couch, waking up about 11pm then going to bed. No ambition for anything. I was a lazy piece of crap to be honest.
I was seriously fed up with everything do with quitting. Dip and this website were directly in my frontal lobe at all times. It consumed my every waking thought and entered my dreams at night. IÂ’d had enough. In addition, I was starting to grow tired of the BS on this site. Almost everything typed pissed me off. OhÂ….if I could only invent a keyboard that can convey tone and inflection on a computer screenÂ…but I digress.
Anyway, I was telling a veteran quitter all of this in chat one night and he made me realize something. I was tired, physically and emotionally drained. I spent so much time being consumed with trying to stay quit, I had exhausted myself. He pointed me to the very timeline that Frazzled posted earlier. Man, was that ever trueÂ…Â… times ten. He convinced me to pull back a bit and simply post roll until things leveled out for me. Best advice I ever received. Before long I was back at it picking up new quitters and sifting the most of the rest of the BS.
Well….I’m not really sure where I was going with this other than to say that this 70 – 90 period of time is a real bitch and proves itself to happen time and time again. Every quit group goes through this lull…..every quit group loses a few folks. If you have nothing to do on a weekend, go pick an old group and read it in its entirety. The pattern will reveal itself. What you will also see in that pattern is the healing.
Time some time to reflect, write your thoughts down and clear your heads. If you feel inclined, talk about what you are experiencing on the boards. If one of you is feeling it, chances are 10 others are too. Your one simple thought may be thought that turns the light bulb on for another quitter. Most of all continue to post your roll call daily and simply leave the rest if you need to. Once thing I do knowÂ…..this weird stretch will pass in time. I canÂ’t tell you when, but it willÂ….I promise.
RT
2541
Thank you Sir!
