Long time coming...

[srans]

wow. i actually feel like crap just from reading strangers replies. Ive posted in roll and have not touched my can all day. im going to do this.

Everyone here will be more than glad to support you now that you've decided to post roll and quit. Now you are part of ktc. While you were knuckle deep in a can you were on the outside looking in. Glad to have you.

Its going to be tough for a while, but its worth it and you can do it. I'm 164 days quit and so happy about my decision.

Now you mentioned you like drinking a bit on the weekends. How bad do you want this? You have to reeeeaaaally want this in order to succeed. Alcohol will kill a quit quick. Succeeding may cost a few weekends of sobriety. What are you willing to do? You have to take your life back, the poison is not just going to give it back.

If you need anything shoot me a pm. Glad to be quit with you.

I strongly advocate this site not being so anti drinking for the first 100 days nicotine free. I would have freaking gone crazy the first 2 weeks without drinking on my quit.
I am 29 days quit and will never cave! I have gone thru hell the past several weeks.
This shit ain't fun and only pussy's dont quit!!!!!

Dixon.... While I am glad that you have been able to drink and stay quit, We warn against it because we have seen probably hundreds if not thousands of people cave because they got too drunk and gave into there urge to put poison in there bodies. I love to drink and do so regularly, but I also know that it lowers resolve and you have to use caution. I think most people who are new in there quit, struggle with drinking and should avoid it until they get some strength behind there quit! Do whatever works for you but understand that it is an issue that needs to be cautioned!

Dixson... I'm gonna add to Jake's post here. Loose the frat boy attitude, toot sweet. 29 days is awesome but you still got shit you need to deal with and encounter. Booze has wrecked more quits than you know. My opinion... Trying to fill the hole that dip has left, with alcohol, is just about the most dumbass thing you can do! Don't try to be cool... Don't try to defy our tried and true suggestions. Be smart... Be quit.

DD911.... I'm sorry that I have to use your thread to say the following because I know it does nothing to help your quit....

DIXON..... You have been a member for almost a month and I cannot see anywhere that you EVER posted roll in ANY group! You have 2 posts to your name in 27 days! You are not to be posting in the intros unless you have posted roll for the day! Until you follow the rules of the site, you need to leave your advice about changing site topics to yourself! You have not earned the right yet. Go post roll and be quit! If you want to reply to this post, feel free to copy and paste the conversation over to my thread.

[jake frawley]

wow. i actually feel like crap just from reading strangers replies. Ive posted in roll and have not touched my can all day. im going to do this.

Everyone here will be more than glad to support you now that you've decided to post roll and quit. Now you are part of ktc. While you were knuckle deep in a can you were on the outside looking in. Glad to have you.

Its going to be tough for a while, but its worth it and you can do it. I'm 164 days quit and so happy about my decision.

Now you mentioned you like drinking a bit on the weekends. How bad do you want this? You have to reeeeaaaally want this in order to succeed. Alcohol will kill a quit quick. Succeeding may cost a few weekends of sobriety. What are you willing to do? You have to take your life back, the poison is not just going to give it back.

If you need anything shoot me a pm. Glad to be quit with you.

I strongly advocate this site not being so anti drinking for the first 100 days nicotine free. I would have freaking gone crazy the first 2 weeks without drinking on my quit.
I am 29 days quit and will never cave! I have gone thru hell the past several weeks.
This shit ain't fun and only pussy's dont quit!!!!!

Dixon.... While I am glad that you have been able to drink and stay quit, We warn against it because we have seen probably hundreds if not thousands of people cave because they got too drunk and gave into there urge to put poison in there bodies. I love to drink and do so regularly, but I also know that it lowers resolve and you have to use caution. I think most people who are new in there quit, struggle with drinking and should avoid it until they get some strength behind there quit! Do whatever works for you but understand that it is an issue that needs to be cautioned!

Dixson... I'm gonna add to Jake's post here. Loose the frat boy attitude, toot sweet. 29 days is awesome but you still got shit you need to deal with and encounter. Booze has wrecked more quits than you know. My opinion... Trying to fill the hole that dip has left, with alcohol, is just about the most dumbass thing you can do! Don't try to be cool... Don't try to defy our tried and true suggestions. Be smart... Be quit.

DD911.... I'm sorry that I have to use your thread to say the following because I know it does nothing to help your quit....

DIXON..... You have been a member for almost a month and I cannot see anywhere that you EVER posted roll in ANY group! You have 2 posts to your name in 27 days! You are not to be posting in the intros unless you have posted roll for the day! Until you follow the rules of the site, you need to leave your advice about changing site topics to yourself! You have not earned the right yet. Go post roll and be quit! If you want to reply to this post, feel free to copy and paste the conversation over to my thread.

[AppleJack]

wow. i actually feel like crap just from reading strangers replies. Ive posted in roll and have not touched my can all day. im going to do this.

Everyone here will be more than glad to support you now that you've decided to post roll and quit. Now you are part of ktc. While you were knuckle deep in a can you were on the outside looking in. Glad to have you.

Its going to be tough for a while, but its worth it and you can do it. I'm 164 days quit and so happy about my decision.

Now you mentioned you like drinking a bit on the weekends. How bad do you want this? You have to reeeeaaaally want this in order to succeed. Alcohol will kill a quit quick. Succeeding may cost a few weekends of sobriety. What are you willing to do? You have to take your life back, the poison is not just going to give it back.

If you need anything shoot me a pm. Glad to be quit with you.

I strongly advocate this site not being so anti drinking for the first 100 days nicotine free. I would have freaking gone crazy the first 2 weeks without drinking on my quit.
I am 29 days quit and will never cave! I have gone thru hell the past several weeks.
This shit ain't fun and only pussy's dont quit!!!!!

Dixon.... While I am glad that you have been able to drink and stay quit, We warn against it because we have seen probably hundreds if not thousands of people cave because they got too drunk and gave into there urge to put poison in there bodies. I love to drink and do so regularly, but I also know that it lowers resolve and you have to use caution. I think most people who are new in there quit, struggle with drinking and should avoid it until they get some strength behind there quit! Do whatever works for you but understand that it is an issue that needs to be cautioned!

Dixson... I'm gonna add to Jake's post here. Loose the frat boy attitude, toot sweet. 29 days is awesome but you still got shit you need to deal with and encounter. Booze has wrecked more quits than you know. My opinion... Trying to fill the hole that dip has left, with alcohol, is just about the most dumbass thing you can do! Don't try to be cool... Don't try to defy our tried and true suggestions. Be smart... Be quit.

[jake frawley]

wow. i actually feel like crap just from reading strangers replies. Ive posted in roll and have not touched my can all day. im going to do this.

Everyone here will be more than glad to support you now that you've decided to post roll and quit. Now you are part of ktc. While you were knuckle deep in a can you were on the outside looking in. Glad to have you.

Its going to be tough for a while, but its worth it and you can do it. I'm 164 days quit and so happy about my decision.

Now you mentioned you like drinking a bit on the weekends. How bad do you want this? You have to reeeeaaaally want this in order to succeed. Alcohol will kill a quit quick. Succeeding may cost a few weekends of sobriety. What are you willing to do? You have to take your life back, the poison is not just going to give it back.

If you need anything shoot me a pm. Glad to be quit with you.

I strongly advocate this site not being so anti drinking for the first 100 days nicotine free. I would have freaking gone crazy the first 2 weeks without drinking on my quit.
I am 29 days quit and will never cave! I have gone thru hell the past several weeks.
This shit ain't fun and only pussy's dont quit!!!!!

Dixon.... While I am glad that you have been able to drink and stay quit, We warn against it because we have seen probably hundreds if not thousands of people cave because they got too drunk and gave into there urge to put poison in there bodies. I love to drink and do so regularly, but I also know that it lowers resolve and you have to use caution. I think most people who are new in there quit, struggle with drinking and should avoid it until they get some strength behind there quit! Do whatever works for you but understand that it is an issue that needs to be cautioned!

DD911.... I'm sorry that I have to use your thread to say the following because I know it does nothing to help your quit....

DIXON..... You have been a member for almost a month and I cannot see anywhere that you EVER posted roll in ANY group! You have 2 posts to your name in 27 days! You are not to be posting in the intros unless you have posted roll for the day! Until you follow the rules of the site, you need to leave your advice about changing site topics to yourself! You have not earned the right yet. Go post roll and be quit! If you want to reply to this post, feel free to copy and paste the conversation over to my thread.

[Evil_Won]

What date did you cave on? See below...your post. I sifted through a lot of bullshit. See the stuff in RED. Freedom will come through honesty.

Where to begin?

Last night (July 31, 2013) was a complete fucking disaster. I fucked up.
With this chew I enslave myself
to a lifetime of addiction.
While I canÂ’t promise to always love you,
I do promise to obey every craving and
support my addiction to you
no matter how expensive you become.
I will let no husband or wife,
no family member or friend,
no doctor or any other health professional,
no employer or government policy,
no stench, no sore tongue or gums,
no cancer or heart attack or stroke,
no threat of loss of life or limbs,
come between us.

I will chew you forever
from this day forth,
for better or worse,
whether richer or poorer,
in sickness and in health,
till death do us part!


I give up my quit. Quitting is impossible and I cannot do it. I love dipping more than I love myself. I care about dipping more than I care about my personal health. I love dipping more than I love my family. I know this addiction will kill me, and I ACCEPT that fact. I enjoy spending time alone with my can more than I enjoy spending time with anyone else on the planet. I look forward to losing my jaw, my tongue, my throat, my life - it's worth it. When I am lying in my hospital bed fighting a losing battle against cancer I will feel a sense of satisfaction knowing that this is the path I CHOSE. My only regret will be that I didn't start dipping earlier in life. I will feel sorrow for my familyÂ’s heartbreak and suffer untold pain, but I know you must sacrifice for the things you truly love.

I know ALL the consequences of my actions and I accept them fully and without regret. I hereby choose to give my life to this addiction - I do so with a smile on face.

Signature: __DippinDave911___
Date: ___07/31/2013____
I had a rough night. I convinced myself that I would quit quitting. I regret not having this in my wallet. This isnt about regrets though.


______________________________________________________________

I was exhausted. The bitch came to me in my delusional thoughts. She begged me to come back to her. She promised she could make everything better. She could put everything back where it goes. All I had to do was dip one more time. One dip, and I could have my life back. Im weak. I let her in. Im a pussy. I couldnt say no to her.

I bought a can. I knew it was wrong, but I wanted it. She wanted it. And I made it so. I brought the can home. I set the can beside me and loaded up live chat. I needed help. I wanted help. But it was already to late. My Her mind was already made up. She broke me. I would cave. She would humiliate me in front of my brothers and sisters. She used me. Like she has for the past 7 years. She told my brothers and sisters what they wanted to hear. Tell them off. Appease them.[/s] She had already won.

I lied to you all. I lied on top of lies. I knew I was going to dip. I sat reading while you all thought I was flushing my poison. One of you saw through the ruse, but others still talked you out of the idea. Lies, Lies, Lies, Lies, LIES! I LIED TO YOU ALL!

I left chat. I stuck around the site a little longer. I looked at everything. Cancer pictures. Read stories of life and of death. Tried imagining myself looking like a ghoul or zombie. Tried to get this bitch out of my head. Tried. There is no trying. Only doing. I DID nothing. I accepted the bitch with open arms.

I fingered the can of poison for a while. Rolled it around in my hands. Weighed it against what I knew was the right thing to do. I thought about what I was about to do. About why I was going to do it. She convinced me everything was fine. This was the right thing to do. My life would be better. She said I would sleep. She said I would feel better physically. Emotionally. She promised me.

I broke the seal. I popped the lid. I went knuckle deep. I pinched. I felt a rush of pure ecstasy. Something I hadnt felt for years, even while active. I felt alive. I felt...guilt.

I betrayed myself. I betrayed you. My brothers and sisters in this fight. I had caved, after only five days. Five days. Five weeks. Five months. Five years. One day without this poison is truly freedom. And I caved. I am a pussy. I am weak.

And She lied to me. She said I would sleep. I stayed awake all night staring at roll call. My name wasnt on the list. It couldnt be on the list. I was weak. I caved. Cavers dont get to be on the list. My body ached. My head was pounding. She said everything would be fine, but She lied to me. Like she has been for the past 7 years. And I believed her.

I lied to you all. I made friends under false pretenses. You would all go to hell and back for me. You all opened your hearts to me. You answered my cry for help. And I shit on you. I lied to you. I probably lost a trust that I will never regain in my lifetime. I called you brother. I called you sister. You were my friends. I do not hold any hopes that any of you will ever talk to me again. I have lost my support. And it is no ones fault but my own.

I want to apologize to each and every one of you. I am sorry that I lied to you. I am sorry that I am weak. I am sorry that I am a pussy. I am sorry for wasting your time. I am sorry.

Im not asking for forgiveness. Im not asking for reassurance. Yell at me. Call me names. Hate me. I am a traitor. I am weak and I allowed the Bitch to control me. Give it to me. Dont hold back. Come on, make me feel weaker. Insignificant. Make me just a number. Make me feel more guilty than I already do. PISS ME OFF!

One day at a time.

Im not going to try this time. Im not going to hope this time. No. This time im going to DO.

One day at a time this Bitch is going to have less and less of a grasp on me.

One day at a time I am going to fight to earn back the trust that was shattered by a moment of weakness.

One day at a time I am going to thank each and every one of you for believing in me.

One day at a time I am going to kick this addiction.

One day at a time I am going to pay it forward. All I've known for the past 7 years is take, take and more take. You have all helped me when I needed it. I am going to pay it forward, making myself stronger in the process.

One day at a time.

I may be a pussy. I may be weak. I may be an asshole. I may be a liar. I may be an addict. I may be lots of things. I am lots of things. But I am also a quitter.

I am a quitter. And I intend to stay quit. The past is behind me. I can only move on from here. I cannot and will not look back. What happened in the past is just that. The past. I am looking forward. To a bright, poison free future. Standing proud next to my brothers and sisters. I like what I see. I am proud. I want that.

One day at a time. I am quit.

Still confused? how about this reminder:

Pre Hof
November 2013

Today is: Wednesday, July 31st, 2013

Question Of The Day: How many fellow quitters numbers do you have in your phone???

Quitters

(nomore)DippinDave911- Day 5 Sleep would be great (3 contacts)

How many of those contacts did you use? None.

here

[jake frawley]

wow. i actually feel like crap just from reading strangers replies. Ive posted in roll and have not touched my can all day. im going to do this.

Everyone here will be more than glad to support you now that you've decided to post roll and quit. Now you are part of ktc. While you were knuckle deep in a can you were on the outside looking in. Glad to have you.

Its going to be tough for a while, but its worth it and you can do it. I'm 164 days quit and so happy about my decision.

Now you mentioned you like drinking a bit on the weekends. How bad do you want this? You have to reeeeaaaally want this in order to succeed. Alcohol will kill a quit quick. Succeeding may cost a few weekends of sobriety. What are you willing to do? You have to take your life back, the poison is not just going to give it back.

If you need anything shoot me a pm. Glad to be quit with you.

I strongly advocate this site not being so anti drinking for the first 100 days nicotine free. I would have freaking gone crazy the first 2 weeks without drinking on my quit.
I am 29 days quit and will never cave! I have gone thru hell the past several weeks.
This shit ain't fun and only pussy's dont quit!!!!!

Dixon.... While I am glad that you have been able to drink and stay quit, We warn against it because we have seen probably hundreds if not thousands of people cave because they got too drunk and gave into there urge to put poison in there bodies. I love to drink and do so regularly, but I also know that it lowers resolve and you have to use caution. I think most people who are new in there quit, struggle with drinking and should avoid it until they get some strength behind there quit! Do whatever works for you but understand that it is an issue that needs to be cautioned!

[dixon]

wow. i actually feel like crap just from reading strangers replies. Ive posted in roll and have not touched my can all day. im going to do this.

Everyone here will be more than glad to support you now that you've decided to post roll and quit. Now you are part of ktc. While you were knuckle deep in a can you were on the outside looking in. Glad to have you.

Its going to be tough for a while, but its worth it and you can do it. I'm 164 days quit and so happy about my decision.

Now you mentioned you like drinking a bit on the weekends. How bad do you want this? You have to reeeeaaaally want this in order to succeed. Alcohol will kill a quit quick. Succeeding may cost a few weekends of sobriety. What are you willing to do? You have to take your life back, the poison is not just going to give it back.

If you need anything shoot me a pm. Glad to be quit with you.

I strongly advocate this site not being so anti drinking for the first 100 days nicotine free. I would have freaking gone crazy the first 2 weeks without drinking on my quit.
I am 29 days quit and will never cave! I have gone thru hell the past several weeks.
This shit ain't fun and only pussy's dont quit!!!!!

[Evil_Won]

What date did you cave on? See below...your post. I sifted through a lot of bullshit. See the stuff in RED. Freedom will come through honesty.

Where to begin?

Last night (July 31, 2013) was a complete fucking disaster. I fucked up.
With this chew I enslave myself
to a lifetime of addiction.
While I canÂ’t promise to always love you,
I do promise to obey every craving and
support my addiction to you
no matter how expensive you become.
I will let no husband or wife,
no family member or friend,
no doctor or any other health professional,
no employer or government policy,
no stench, no sore tongue or gums,
no cancer or heart attack or stroke,
no threat of loss of life or limbs,
come between us.

I will chew you forever
from this day forth,
for better or worse,
whether richer or poorer,
in sickness and in health,
till death do us part!


I give up my quit. Quitting is impossible and I cannot do it. I love dipping more than I love myself. I care about dipping more than I care about my personal health. I love dipping more than I love my family. I know this addiction will kill me, and I ACCEPT that fact. I enjoy spending time alone with my can more than I enjoy spending time with anyone else on the planet. I look forward to losing my jaw, my tongue, my throat, my life - it's worth it. When I am lying in my hospital bed fighting a losing battle against cancer I will feel a sense of satisfaction knowing that this is the path I CHOSE. My only regret will be that I didn't start dipping earlier in life. I will feel sorrow for my familyÂ’s heartbreak and suffer untold pain, but I know you must sacrifice for the things you truly love.

I know ALL the consequences of my actions and I accept them fully and without regret. I hereby choose to give my life to this addiction - I do so with a smile on face.

Signature: __DippinDave911___
Date: ___07/31/2013____
I had a rough night. I convinced myself that I would quit quitting. I regret not having this in my wallet. This isnt about regrets though.


______________________________________________________________

I was exhausted. The bitch came to me in my delusional thoughts. She begged me to come back to her. She promised she could make everything better. She could put everything back where it goes. All I had to do was dip one more time. One dip, and I could have my life back. Im weak. I let her in. Im a pussy. I couldnt say no to her.

I bought a can. I knew it was wrong, but I wanted it. She wanted it. And I made it so. I brought the can home. I set the can beside me and loaded up live chat. I needed help. I wanted help. But it was already to late. My Her mind was already made up. She broke me. I would cave. She would humiliate me in front of my brothers and sisters. She used me. Like she has for the past 7 years. She told my brothers and sisters what they wanted to hear. Tell them off. Appease them.[/s] She had already won.

I lied to you all. I lied on top of lies. I knew I was going to dip. I sat reading while you all thought I was flushing my poison. One of you saw through the ruse, but others still talked you out of the idea. Lies, Lies, Lies, Lies, LIES! I LIED TO YOU ALL!

I left chat. I stuck around the site a little longer. I looked at everything. Cancer pictures. Read stories of life and of death. Tried imagining myself looking like a ghoul or zombie. Tried to get this bitch out of my head. Tried. There is no trying. Only doing. I DID nothing. I accepted the bitch with open arms.

I fingered the can of poison for a while. Rolled it around in my hands. Weighed it against what I knew was the right thing to do. I thought about what I was about to do. About why I was going to do it. She convinced me everything was fine. This was the right thing to do. My life would be better. She said I would sleep. She said I would feel better physically. Emotionally. She promised me.

I broke the seal. I popped the lid. I went knuckle deep. I pinched. I felt a rush of pure ecstasy. Something I hadnt felt for years, even while active. I felt alive. I felt...guilt.

I betrayed myself. I betrayed you. My brothers and sisters in this fight. I had caved, after only five days. Five days. Five weeks. Five months. Five years. One day without this poison is truly freedom. And I caved. I am a pussy. I am weak.

And She lied to me. She said I would sleep. I stayed awake all night staring at roll call. My name wasnt on the list. It couldnt be on the list. I was weak. I caved. Cavers dont get to be on the list. My body ached. My head was pounding. She said everything would be fine, but She lied to me. Like she has been for the past 7 years. And I believed her.

I lied to you all. I made friends under false pretenses. You would all go to hell and back for me. You all opened your hearts to me. You answered my cry for help. And I shit on you. I lied to you. I probably lost a trust that I will never regain in my lifetime. I called you brother. I called you sister. You were my friends. I do not hold any hopes that any of you will ever talk to me again. I have lost my support. And it is no ones fault but my own.

I want to apologize to each and every one of you. I am sorry that I lied to you. I am sorry that I am weak. I am sorry that I am a pussy. I am sorry for wasting your time. I am sorry.

Im not asking for forgiveness. Im not asking for reassurance. Yell at me. Call me names. Hate me. I am a traitor. I am weak and I allowed the Bitch to control me. Give it to me. Dont hold back. Come on, make me feel weaker. Insignificant. Make me just a number. Make me feel more guilty than I already do. PISS ME OFF!

One day at a time.

Im not going to try this time. Im not going to hope this time. No. This time im going to DO.

One day at a time this Bitch is going to have less and less of a grasp on me.

One day at a time I am going to fight to earn back the trust that was shattered by a moment of weakness.

One day at a time I am going to thank each and every one of you for believing in me.

One day at a time I am going to kick this addiction.

One day at a time I am going to pay it forward. All I've known for the past 7 years is take, take and more take. You have all helped me when I needed it. I am going to pay it forward, making myself stronger in the process.

One day at a time.

I may be a pussy. I may be weak. I may be an asshole. I may be a liar. I may be an addict. I may be lots of things. I am lots of things. But I am also a quitter.

I am a quitter. And I intend to stay quit. The past is behind me. I can only move on from here. I cannot and will not look back. What happened in the past is just that. The past. I am looking forward. To a bright, poison free future. Standing proud next to my brothers and sisters. I like what I see. I am proud. I want that.

One day at a time. I am quit.

Still confused? how about this reminder:

Pre Hof
November 2013

Today is: Wednesday, July 31st, 2013

Question Of The Day: How many fellow quitters numbers do you have in your phone???

Quitters

(nomore)DippinDave911- Day 5 Sleep would be great (3 contacts)

How many of those contacts did you use? None.

[AppleJack]

DD911,

Believe it or not, no one here wants you to fail again. There has been a lot of good advice given to you here and in Chat. If you were unwanted you would be ignored. You have posted roll every day which is great, but, you posted roll on the day you caved so your integrity took a big hit.

Answering the three questions is important to do. Thoughtful, deep, meaningful answers will not only help you to dig in for this long fight, but will also help others.  Being combative will get you nowhere, whether you start or just feed it with a response. Getting involved on KTC in constructive ways will strengthen your quit and reestablish your credibility over time.

i appreciate the positive replies but let it be known that i DID NOT post roll on the day i caved. i dont want to bring this back up but if thats what you guys think, you are wrong. i planned on caving. i waited until the next day and i did not post roll. i might not have had the respect for myself but i do have the respect for this site and its rules.

Edit:
Try pages 37-42 of roll call. Thats August 1, my cave date. I dont see my name. Not trying to be a dick but your right that that would hurt my integrity and if thats where all this negativity is coming from then it is very misplaced.

Are you doing everything you can to stay quit?

What aren't you willing to put with to be free?

I'm probably one of those mean guys you are talking about. And I'm not going to go all warm and fuzzy on you yet. But Evil is absolutely right, no one wants to see you fail here.
I read your answers to the three questions and your other posts and can't help but see addict speak all over them still. Because I am an addict, I know it when I see it. We've not yet seen much evidence that you are approaching this quit much differently than before. Your answers to the 3 questions show little promise of a quit being built. If you think simply posting roll most days (or every day) and not investing in the other tools will keep you quit, you haven't been paying attention.
I'm glad you are posting. Lose the attitude, spend time learning all the tools KTC has to offer. Use them.

Come on man, give me a hug....

Ghey... In a good way though :)

[ParadigmDawg]

DD911,

Believe it or not, no one here wants you to fail again. There has been a lot of good advice given to you here and in Chat. If you were unwanted you would be ignored. You have posted roll every day which is great, but, you posted roll on the day you caved so your integrity took a big hit.

Answering the three questions is important to do. Thoughtful, deep, meaningful answers will not only help you to dig in for this long fight, but will also help others.  Being combative will get you nowhere, whether you start or just feed it with a response. Getting involved on KTC in constructive ways will strengthen your quit and reestablish your credibility over time.

i appreciate the positive replies but let it be known that i DID NOT post roll on the day i caved. i dont want to bring this back up but if thats what you guys think, you are wrong. i planned on caving. i waited until the next day and i did not post roll. i might not have had the respect for myself but i do have the respect for this site and its rules.

Edit:
Try pages 37-42 of roll call. Thats August 1, my cave date. I dont see my name. Not trying to be a dick but your right that that would hurt my integrity and if thats where all this negativity is coming from then it is very misplaced.

Are you doing everything you can to stay quit?

What aren't you willing to put with to be free?

I'm probably one of those mean guys you are talking about. And I'm not going to go all warm and fuzzy on you yet. But Evil is absolutely right, no one wants to see you fail here.
I read your answers to the three questions and your other posts and can't help but see addict speak all over them still. Because I am an addict, I know it when I see it. We've not yet seen much evidence that you are approaching this quit much differently than before. Your answers to the 3 questions show little promise of a quit being built. If you think simply posting roll most days (or every day) and not investing in the other tools will keep you quit, you haven't been paying attention.
I'm glad you are posting. Lose the attitude, spend time learning all the tools KTC has to offer. Use them.

Come on man, give me a hug....

[T-Cell]

DD911,

Believe it or not, no one here wants you to fail again. There has been a lot of good advice given to you here and in Chat. If you were unwanted you would be ignored. You have posted roll every day which is great, but, you posted roll on the day you caved so your integrity took a big hit.

Answering the three questions is important to do. Thoughtful, deep, meaningful answers will not only help you to dig in for this long fight, but will also help others.  Being combative will get you nowhere, whether you start or just feed it with a response. Getting involved on KTC in constructive ways will strengthen your quit and reestablish your credibility over time.

i appreciate the positive replies but let it be known that i DID NOT post roll on the day i caved. i dont want to bring this back up but if thats what you guys think, you are wrong. i planned on caving. i waited until the next day and i did not post roll. i might not have had the respect for myself but i do have the respect for this site and its rules.

Edit:
Try pages 37-42 of roll call. Thats August 1, my cave date. I dont see my name. Not trying to be a dick but your right that that would hurt my integrity and if thats where all this negativity is coming from then it is very misplaced.

Are you doing everything you can to stay quit?

What aren't you willing to put with to be free?

I'm probably one of those mean guys you are talking about. And I'm not going to go all warm and fuzzy on you yet. But Evil is absolutely right, no one wants to see you fail here.
I read your answers to the three questions and your other posts and can't help but see addict speak all over them still. Because I am an addict, I know it when I see it. We've not yet seen much evidence that you are approaching this quit much differently than before. Your answers to the 3 questions show little promise of a quit being built. If you think simply posting roll most days (or every day) and not investing in the other tools will keep you quit, you haven't been paying attention.
I'm glad you are posting. Lose the attitude, spend time learning all the tools KTC has to offer. Use them.

[traumagnet]

Crap, my intent wasn't to bring all this up again. I was just checking your intro and assumed you never came back since I didn't see you posting here.

I get why you are upset but I also see the other side of it.

On my quit 8 years ago, after being quit almost a full year, I had a similar situation. My quit group which were named the Fuck Turds (Different forum but very similar) and I were very close. I was out of town and had that "one dip", I got on the forum and confessed and took a beating worse than what you are taking. I got so mad that I quit the forum and I quit my quit. I guess I showed them...huh...?

Part of me has always thought that if they handled it differently and were more supportive and kind, I would have stopped after that one dip.

A different part of me realizes that it's just my addiction telling me that and I understand I will always look for an excuse why it's too hard to stay quit. It can't be my fault so I blame it on the mean guys.

Most of those mean guys would have laid their life down for me so guess who the loser really was.

The good news is that I stayed away from forums such as this and got to dip 8 more years because I was good at hiding from strangers who cared about me...WIN....not.....

well said PDawg...these same mean guys have always been there when the plan has been followed. Post roll daily give us your word you will not use for the day. Hard times hit I am grabbing my phone and texting these mean guys and guess what they hang with me til the moment that is testing my resolve is over. The site is the way it is for a reason as PDawg stated we are addicts we can smell an out exit loop hole whatever you want to call it ...its the burn the bridge and the piers too approach if all that is taken away then all you can do is quit.

The main part of what I am trying to say is that everything is in place to help keep quit, all you have to do is pull the trigger.... makes people angry here that there number was in your phone or well at least some should be and you didn't use it you didn't even bother didn't even take the time to send a shout out. Caving is hard on everyone hard on you hard on guys that have reached out to you its a ripple effect some caves send out waves that upset the balance. Rambling now but these same mean guys are here for you anytime.

PM me if you don't have numbers and I will give you mine...

[wastepanel]

DD911,

Believe it or not, no one here wants you to fail again. There has been a lot of good advice given to you here and in Chat. If you were unwanted you would be ignored. You have posted roll every day which is great, but, you posted roll on the day you caved so your integrity took a big hit.

Answering the three questions is important to do. Thoughtful, deep, meaningful answers will not only help you to dig in for this long fight, but will also help others.  Being combative will get you nowhere, whether you start or just feed it with a response. Getting involved on KTC in constructive ways will strengthen your quit and reestablish your credibility over time.

i appreciate the positive replies but let it be known that i DID NOT post roll on the day i caved. i dont want to bring this back up but if thats what you guys think, you are wrong. i planned on caving. i waited until the next day and i did not post roll. i might not have had the respect for myself but i do have the respect for this site and its rules.

Edit:
Try pages 37-42 of roll call. Thats August 1, my cave date. I dont see my name. Not trying to be a dick but your right that that would hurt my integrity and if thats where all this negativity is coming from then it is very misplaced.

Are you doing everything you can to stay quit?

What aren't you willing to put with to be free?

[ParadigmDawg]

Crap, my intent wasn't to bring all this up again. I was just checking your intro and assumed you never came back since I didn't see you posting here.

I get why you are upset but I also see the other side of it.

On my quit 8 years ago, after being quit almost a full year, I had a similar situation. My quit group which were named the Fuck Turds (Different forum but very similar) and I were very close. I was out of town and had that "one dip", I got on the forum and confessed and took a beating worse than what you are taking. I got so mad that I quit the forum and I quit my quit. I guess I showed them...huh...?

Part of me has always thought that if they handled it differently and were more supportive and kind, I would have stopped after that one dip.

A different part of me realizes that it's just my addiction telling me that and I understand I will always look for an excuse why it's too hard to stay quit. It can't be my fault so I blame it on the mean guys.

Most of those mean guys would have laid their life down for me so guess who the loser really was.

The good news is that I stayed away from forums such as this and got to dip 8 more years because I was good at hiding from strangers who cared about me...WIN....not.....

[DippinDave911]

DD911,

Believe it or not, no one here wants you to fail again. There has been a lot of good advice given to you here and in Chat. If you were unwanted you would be ignored. You have posted roll every day which is great, but, you posted roll on the day you caved so your integrity took a big hit.

Answering the three questions is important to do. Thoughtful, deep, meaningful answers will not only help you to dig in for this long fight, but will also help others.  Being combative will get you nowhere, whether you start or just feed it with a response. Getting involved on KTC in constructive ways will strengthen your quit and reestablish your credibility over time.

i appreciate the positive replies but let it be known that i DID NOT post roll on the day i caved. i dont want to bring this back up but if thats what you guys think, you are wrong. i planned on caving. i waited until the next day and i did not post roll. i might not have had the respect for myself but i do have the respect for this site and its rules.

Edit:
Try pages 37-42 of roll call. Thats August 1, my cave date. I dont see my name. Not trying to be a dick but your right that that would hurt my integrity and if thats where all this negativity is coming from then it is very misplaced.