I quit again

[Keith0617]

MN/2,809 with Steve and y'all today. QLAMF ODAAT

Day 205.
ANXIETY!!!!!!! Bad anxiety again. Non stop anxiety. I don’t get it!!!!! I may consider some talk therapy but a big hard no on medication. Last thing I want to do is go through even more withdrawals getting off of some phych med. not gunna happen. I’m so fuckin tired of this nearly non stop suffering thinking and hoping that being a non dipper will be better. Im not going back to dip so don’t worry about that but I actually felt great when I was dipping. Only thing that bothered me was hiding it. It took so much energy and effort and lost quality family time away that I needed to get away from it. Never fathomed that it would have sucked this bad especially after zero withdrawal my last few stops. Had I known how bad it was going to be I think I would’ve just told my wife that I dip and just deal with it. I now have way to much suffering invested to give up and pick up a can so onward I go one day at a time. So there we are. No sugar coating. I said it like I see it. Any newbie’s who read this don’t give up because my suffering is so bad. Maybe yours won’t be as bad. Just take it one day at a time and promise not to dip today and that’s my promise.
Big tobacco you can go fuck yourselves for putting me through so much suffering.

I understand not wanting to go the medication route. I personally wouldn't want to either. But there are methods to deal with anxiety and depression that don't involve medication so consider pursuing those routes. I get the frustration and I'm sure it's demoralizing. But sometimes the right decisions aren't the easiest as you are experiencing here. I know you know that being nicotine free is the right decision. Keep fighting brother.

Keith0617 1916 ODAAT

[MN_Engineer]

MN/2,809 with Steve and y'all today. QLAMF ODAAT

Day 205.
ANXIETY!!!!!!! Bad anxiety again. Non stop anxiety. I don’t get it!!!!! I may consider some talk therapy but a big hard no on medication. Last thing I want to do is go through even more withdrawals getting off of some phych med. not gunna happen. I’m so fuckin tired of this nearly non stop suffering thinking and hoping that being a non dipper will be better. Im not going back to dip so don’t worry about that but I actually felt great when I was dipping. Only thing that bothered me was hiding it. It took so much energy and effort and lost quality family time away that I needed to get away from it. Never fathomed that it would have sucked this bad especially after zero withdrawal my last few stops. Had I known how bad it was going to be I think I would’ve just told my wife that I dip and just deal with it. I now have way to much suffering invested to give up and pick up a can so onward I go one day at a time. So there we are. No sugar coating. I said it like I see it. Any newbie’s who read this don’t give up because my suffering is so bad. Maybe yours won’t be as bad. Just take it one day at a time and promise not to dip today and that’s my promise.
Big tobacco you can go fuck yourselves for putting me through so much suffering.

I understand not wanting to go the medication route. I personally wouldn't want to either. But there are methods to deal with anxiety and depression that don't involve medication so consider pursuing those routes. I get the frustration and I'm sure it's demoralizing. But sometimes the right decisions aren't the easiest as you are experiencing here. I know you know that being nicotine free is the right decision. Keep fighting brother.

[Dipchit]

MN/2,809 with Steve and y'all today. QLAMF ODAAT

Day 205.
ANXIETY!!!!!!! Bad anxiety again. Non stop anxiety. I don’t get it!!!!! I may consider some talk therapy but a big hard no on medication. Last thing I want to do is go through even more withdrawals getting off of some phych med. not gunna happen. I’m so fuckin tired of this nearly non stop suffering thinking and hoping that being a non dipper will be better. Im not going back to dip so don’t worry about that but I actually felt great when I was dipping. Only thing that bothered me was hiding it. It took so much energy and effort and lost quality family time away that I needed to get away from it. Never fathomed that it would have sucked this bad especially after zero withdrawal my last few stops. Had I known how bad it was going to be I think I would’ve just told my wife that I dip and just deal with it. I now have way to much suffering invested to give up and pick up a can so onward I go one day at a time. So there we are. No sugar coating. I said it like I see it. Any newbie’s who read this don’t give up because my suffering is so bad. Maybe yours won’t be as bad. Just take it one day at a time and promise not to dip today and that’s my promise.
Big tobacco you can go fuck yourselves for putting me through so much suffering.

[MN_Engineer]

MN/2,809 with Steve and y'all today. QLAMF ODAAT

[Dipchit]

AJ... 3,912 and a Happy New Year to you dudes.

Rock the day, Steve.
We're with ya.

Day 204
I feel defeated and depressed but I will not dip today.

MN/2,808 - mental gymnastics can wreak havoc on the psyche. Again, I strongly encourage you to seek help. Explain to your family that you are experiencing anxiety/depression (which could stem from many things; you don't have to divulge your nicotine addiction) and find a psychologist or other mental help person to assist you in navigating these valleys. It's a new year; use it to continue to improve yourself.

Thanks for the advice. I’ll consider it.

[MN_Engineer]

AJ... 3,912 and a Happy New Year to you dudes.

Rock the day, Steve.
We're with ya.

Day 204
I feel defeated and depressed but I will not dip today.

MN/2,808 - mental gymnastics can wreak havoc on the psyche. Again, I strongly encourage you to seek help. Explain to your family that you are experiencing anxiety/depression (which could stem from many things; you don't have to divulge your nicotine addiction) and find a psychologist or other mental help person to assist you in navigating these valleys. It's a new year; use it to continue to improve yourself.

[Dipchit]

AJ... 3,912 and a Happy New Year to you dudes.

Rock the day, Steve.
We're with ya.

Day 204
I feel defeated and depressed but I will not dip today.

[AppleJack]

AJ... 3,912 and a Happy New Year to you dudes.

Rock the day, Steve.
We're with ya.

[Dipchit]

Happy New Year's Eve!! Can't wait to wrap up another entire year nicotine free. MN/2,807 Thankful and proud to be quit with Steve and everyone at KTC today.

Day 203
Deep depression today. No intrest in anything at all. Complete anhidonia. I promise not to dip today.

Keith0617 1914 ODAAT

I woke up at 4:00 AM and actually felt ok at best. I got up and drank a glass of water, pissed and went back to sleep. Woke up at 8:00 AM to deep black hopeless depression. What a fucking kick in the balls that was. I thought that my latest wave was possibly going away and that total recovery was starting to come. Once again I’m thrown back into the depths of depression hell. WTF is going on? Come on brain, fucking get it right already. Happy fucking new year to me…… Not!!!!! Maybe 2024 will possibly be better. At this rate I doubt it but who knows.

Happy new year everyone.

[Dipchit]

Happy New Year's Eve!! Can't wait to wrap up another entire year nicotine free. MN/2,807 Thankful and proud to be quit with Steve and everyone at KTC today.

Day 203
Deep depression today. No intrest in anything at all. Complete anhidonia. I promise not to dip today.

Keith0617 1914 ODAAT

I woke up at 4:00 AM and actually felt ok at best. I got up and drank a glass of water, pissed and went back to sleep. Woke up at 8:00 AM to deep black hopeless depression. What a fucking kick in the balls that was. I thought that my latest wave was possibly going away and that total recovery was starting to come. Once again I’m thrown back into the depths of depression hell. WTF is going on? Come on brain, fucking get it right already. Happy fucking new year to me…… Not!!!!! Maybe 2024 will possibly be better. At this rate I doubt it but who knows.

[Keith0617]

Happy New Year's Eve!! Can't wait to wrap up another entire year nicotine free. MN/2,807 Thankful and proud to be quit with Steve and everyone at KTC today.

Day 203
Deep depression today. No intrest in anything at all. Complete anhidonia. I promise not to dip today.

Keith0617 1914 ODAAT

[Dipchit]

Happy New Year's Eve!! Can't wait to wrap up another entire year nicotine free. MN/2,807 Thankful and proud to be quit with Steve and everyone at KTC today.

Day 203
Deep depression today. No intrest in anything at all. Complete anhidonia. I promise not to dip today.

[MN_Engineer]

Happy New Year's Eve!! Can't wait to wrap up another entire year nicotine free. MN/2,807 Thankful and proud to be quit with Steve and everyone at KTC today.

[worktowin]

Day 202
Bad anxiety still. Been trying breathing techniques and watching ASMR videos on YouTube. Bad apathy, I have lost interest in everything again. Just wandering through the day aimlessly like a robot. This withdrawal process has become nearly intolerable. I promise not to dip today.

Keith0617 1913 ODAAT with all of you. Working on a float today at the Rose Bowl.

MN/2,806 - thankful for the sunshine yesterday. looking forward to some football today.

Worktowin 4,024. Headed home from LV. Spent 4 days with my wife, Traumagnet wife (Steve I encourage you to read his intro if you haven’t) and her new boyfriend. Great trip.

[MN_Engineer]

Day 202
Bad anxiety still. Been trying breathing techniques and watching ASMR videos on YouTube. Bad apathy, I have lost interest in everything again. Just wandering through the day aimlessly like a robot. This withdrawal process has become nearly intolerable. I promise not to dip today.

Keith0617 1913 ODAAT with all of you. Working on a float today at the Rose Bowl.

MN/2,806 - thankful for the sunshine yesterday. looking forward to some football today.