250 days quit. Not bad for a pussy like me. But...like everything in life, always someone with more and someone with less. Was reflecting on how bad the early days were for me and how I, thanks to the help of those on this site, was able to dig myself out. That's when I kind of compared my quit to tending to a garden.
When we start out we have this a FUCKED UP plot of rock hard dirt full of shit. Mine had weeds 15 feet tall, roots 3 feet in diameter, tree stumps, old buried tires, car frames, rocks, boulders and was just a total mess.
I wanted to clean it up and turn it into something beautiful, but I had no tools. All I had was my hands, and every time I looked at that fucked up garden I wanted nothing to do with it. In fact at one point I ran, I left KTC all together. That's how bad my plot was, or more like how big a pussy I was.
Luckily Wedge reached out to me, even after I left the reservation, and offered me up one of those mini spade shovels, and I came back. My garden was still fucked up but I got down on my knees and just started digging with that little shovel.
It still sucked as every time I looked at the garden I thought, no fucking way will I ever be able to fix this bitch up. But...eventually total strangers like WT, Skoal Monster, Ready, and countless others offered me up some other tools.
Eventually I had a rake, a hoe (not that kind but I do like them), an actual shovel, an axe, a pick, etc...and I continued to churn that garden up.
Still though, as grateful as I was for the new tools I acquired from these strange people I was seeing little progress in my garden, even though it was there.
Every time I looked at it the weeds still seemed 5 feet high, the stumps weren't coming out, the roots were still too thick, and the mother fucking tires and the rest of the rocks, boulders, and car frames were just to heavy. I was pissed! No way I could turn this shit around. But at the advice of the guys who gave me the tools, I just kept digging.
Then some weird shit started happening. I actually saw some progress in my garden. The weeds were a lot shorter, I cut through a couple roots, I pulled a few tires and boulders out. The real heavy stuff was still there but holy shit, I thought I had an actual chance to turn this bitch into something beautiful. So I just kept churning the dirt.
I kept active on the site and acquired some new tools. Even bought some MYSELF. Got the $$$ form my CONFIDENCE Bank.
Next thing I knew, I was BULL DOZING that mother fucking plot, like a fucking BOSS. I had my arm dangling out the window of that 5 ton dozer, and was PLOWING all that shit out of my plot. Tires were flying everywhere, stumps were getting pushed around like twigs, car frames were getting flipped repeatedly and those rocks and boulders were getting crushed into dust!!! I was spittin sun flower seeds out window and wasn't wearing a safety hat either. I was loving it!!! I was FINALLY fucking shit up. It WAS all worth the wait!!!
Once all that shit was cleared out and my plot was freshly churned fertile soil, I jumped out of my dozer...took a good look around, deeply inhaled the fresh air and thought to myself..."Time to plant some beautiful ass shit"
So I did. I started dropping serious quit seeds that would take strong ass roots and grow like jacks fucking beanstalk.
They didn't just grow on their own. Oh no. I still had to water them daily. Some of the weeds came back and I had to pull them again. I found a few more stumps buried beneath the surface. Even had to borrow some tools from the KTC store again to get some of the stubborn buggers out. But I maintained it.
Today as I look at my garden, it is plush and beautiful...to me. Like I said previously, there is always gonna be someone with a more beautiful garden and someone with a garden more fucked up than mine was in the beginning.
Right now though, I am really digging my garden and the maintenance required to maintain it is getting less and less. Even though I know the work will never go away totally, weeds may pop up from time to time, I can live with it because I take pride in maintaining my quit garden and have done much heavier work before.
I also am starting to take pride in helping others try and flip their garden and eventually make it a thing of beauty. I try to lend out my tools as much as possible, and I think others with well maintained gardens should do the same.
While I say it's a "garden", this really is a life or death matter. If Wedge hadn't given me that little shovel at the begging who knows, I could literally be Dead. I keep that shovel buffed to a high polish and display it proudly on my mantle.
Tend your garden, boys and girls.
