I am five days into my quit and doing quite well. I am determined to make it permanent, but I am getting badgered, heckled, sworn at, called names, and I am not going to put up with this sort of activity. I have asked this person, twice to stop with the messages and he still continues. I don't need it! I didn't post in roll call because I left my home very early this morning to co-announce a pro rodeo at our state fair and I just got home. I was going to post in roll call tonight, but instead, I am deleting my account. I am a Christian man and quite frankly not going to be treated or talked to in the manner. If this is to be a support group, doing so in this manner is not the way to do it and certainly not how I am going to accept this type of messages. I have the loving support of my family, friends, and of my Lord. Goodbye KTC!
Alrighty boys and girls. Grab a cup of coffee. Its lesson time. I am the one referred to here by PPM. All you that step through the doors of KTC are hereby notified that this is an accountability group. Just like I informed PPM of when he hadn't posted roll on the 18th. Told him as an accountability group we 1) Quit with one another, 2) we walk through the suck of withdrawals together, 3) we watch over one another and that was why I messaged him about posting roll. He posted but then didn't respond back with a thank you, screw you, or anything. No problem. I went on to tell him what I would assume to be simply understood. And these words of advise are actually all over KTC. As addicts, the first thing we do when we wake up is to satisfy those nic withdrawals from sleeping. So we replace that behavior with the behavior of Quitting by posting roll first thing. Which is giving our promise to not use nic and leaves non of our day uncovered by our promise. I really figured that he received that info and would step up.
But no. Yesterday he did not post. I and others hit him up. No response. Until after 11 pm. He unloaded saying as a Christian he did not like the cursing by me or on KTC, that he was a Christian, and that he had been at rodeo announcing. So it seems my response back has caused him to walk out. I reminded him of what we do here, pointed out that he had been an addict for 38 years and as a Christian he sees the problem is cussing, not addiction, and that unless all that he had available all day was a rotary telephone the way I see it was he was not only making excuses but he is actually a fucking liar. He apparently didn't like conversing with me once he found out I am a Christian as well. I asked him to note all the scriptures about your body not being your own and then find all the scriptures about cussing. And he would soon find out that God is more concerned about our bodies not being slaves to nicotine. Or any thing else for that matter. I didn't out right call him a hypocrite but said folks that wave the Christian banner and can't tolerate a certain behavior when they obviously are holding on to a much bigger issue, are hypocrites. Its passing wrongful judgment.
I also told him that to borrow a biblical picture, addiction puts a veil up before I eyes. It hides the truth from us. Only after walking down the road of Quit for a while can we first begin to see all that this horrible addiction has done to us and stolen from us. I also told him, I, like him, spent years praying about this sinful addiction. But that nothing changed. I finally realized that God was not going to just take it away. And Im glad he didn't. He knew that not only was I actually capable of it on my own, ( with KTC of course) but that also that would deprive me of the joy, satisfaction, and pride of standing up and taking my freedom back. And Im sure God is proud of me for doing so. Wouldn't parents also desire the same steps by their own children in difficulties. The struggle develops, strengthens, and matures those that go through it. But he told me he wouldn't stand by and take someone putting his God down. Im not sure if that is a response of a severely self-righteous Christian or an addict. I guess both.
So, I am certainly not the wisest person here at KTC, but I've definitely learned some lessons on my personal road of Quit. And since I hit 3 years Quit in 5 days I think I have learned wisdom to share. I love KTC. I love this place for its brutal honesty and openness. I actually wish the Church were more like KTC. No pretense. No fakeness. We all know what each of us are. Addicts. Ive spent 35 years as an addict. Most of that in church. Even dipped in church. Heard many condemn nicotine addicts and then go out back for a dip/smoke. I would still be dealing with the addiction in that environment. Don't get me wrong, Im not preaching against the church. Im saying don't let that hypocrisy prevent you from being Quit. Not just Christians, but everyone needs to see and know that breaking the chains of addiction comes from stepping up and taking that Day 1. The nicotine addicts around us are going through life as zombies. They need to see real life examples of free people. Live this nightmare long enough and it doesn't seem possible. Do not put up any barriers to your success. Again, I liken KTC to what church should be, real people having each others backs for real.
Galatians 4:16 Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth ? In PPH's eyes that would be a yes. How about you?
