At Day 90 I'm amazed at how my mood changes from being extremely depressed during some parts of my day to being a happy camper during other parts. Like today for example, started out in an extremely bad mood and didn't feel like myself at all...but about mid morning, over the course of an hour, it just slowly changed to feeling pretty dam good the rest of the day.
My brain doesn't seem healed yet either. I mean, it just feels "off." I can definitely tell things have gotten better...but to be honest, I feel a long ways from feeling normal again. The cravings are somewhat manageable...granted they can sometimes last for hours, but smokey mountain and exercise still seem effective there.
Fuck, shit, GOD DAMM MOTHER FUCKIN A, COCK SUCKER, FUCK, FUCK, SHIT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT!!!!!!! WHEN WILL IT MOTHER FUCKING END!!!!!!!
Ok, I feel better now. I'll gladly take some advice.
First piece of advice...
You're at 90 days... you're not cured. You're well into recovery, but you're not at the "end of the line".
You won't be "cured" at 100 days.
You won't be "cured" at 500 days.
You won't be "cured" at 1,000 days.
You won't be "cured" at 2,000 days.
I think you get my point.
I'm sitting here today at 3,222 days quit and I don't consider myself "cured". I'm WAY better off than I was at 100 days, and I'm better off that I was yesterday as I'm one more day away from nicotine. But the reason we post roll DAILY here is because we take things one day at a time. You'll have good days. You'll have bad days. But here's the thing... you'll never be done. This is a daily battle where some battles are easy and some are fucking WARS.
That may sound bleak and I'm sorry if it bums you out, but it's the truth.
But here's some more truth... it gets better.
Your bad days will come further and further apart. They'll be less and less intense. And you'll one day look back and realize that it's been months, hell maybe years, since the last time you've had anythign you'd consider a crave. You'll look back and realize that you've felt "normal" for months. And you'll realize that your NEW "normal" doesn't contain nicotine in any form.
And THAT my friend... is freedom.
I promise you this... keep posting, keep adding days. And you'll get there. I can't tell you when, but I can promsie you that you'll get there.
Proud to be quit with you today.
Chewie