This Time Is For Real

[invader]

Happy birthday, old timer.

[danojeno]

My brother I understand wanting to hang on but dammit my friend you are killing yourself mentally. Move on there's other women out there looking for a man like you. And I will add it's easy for me to say this I'm not in your shoes. But remember those beautiful girls need there Dad. Head up candy, you will be fine, God will not put more on you than you can handle. Continue letting it out , it's not good to keep it in. I would look her straight in the eyes and say I want you to tell me it's over and also is there someone else? Be the man that you are. Prayers to you.

Pab, I am at the point were I am asking myself what is there to save, then my girls look at me. I realize they need to understand forgiveness and compassion, something that their mother has never learned or long since forgotten. I need lead by example, plain and simple.

I am out of ideas:

1. I have been applying to jobs like a mad man. I have one starting on Tuesday at a Toyota dealership, sales manager. I haven't stopped applying.
2. I have tried to be positive and understanding.
3. I have sought professional help.
4. I have been reading the bible and praying (thank you Rawls)
5. I have been trying to spend as much time with the girls as possible.
6. I have shared openly my feelings with her, like i do here.
7. I have tried to make sure I do the small things that she gets annoyed I dont do.

I am all ears...

I am seeing that you are making great strides my friend, lets look:

1 - You are being the good father and spending time with your girls. That in of itself should give you a great feeling to be with those who will look up to you.

2 - you have employment that you are seeking. It is a start, and might not be the long term answer of what you ultimately want, but you are a step to the positive.

3- From your postings here, I have seen a positive attitude, maybe a little down, but always a spark looking to the better (and even still helping others).

4 - Always to use prayer and the help of others when we feel we need. There is nothing wrong when it comes to that. We all came here to KTC when we needed help with quitting nicotine, and now with help needed in other areas in your life you are reaching out. Can be nothing smarter than what you are doing.

I say take a step back and look at what you are doing. This is all you. Do not worry about what the others may think as it is you and your reaction to how you are doing that means the world. Now I think looking at the 4 items I listed, that you are doing quite well and I think others would say the same for the effort you are giving. And I think if you look in the mirror you would probably come to the same conclusion, and if you do I would feel pretty good about yourself.

Just keep up the great work. I believe if you keep on doing what you are, everything will work out for the best in the end.

To me it's obvious what the problem is here. You have poured your heart out to this woman and for some reason or another she no longer wants or needs you. Once again I will say move on candy, to me you're wasting your time you could use elsewhere, she's not the only woman you are capable of loving. Remember it takes 2 and sometimes the harder you try ,the farther you're pushing her away. Sometimes a little time away makes my wife and myself think about things.

I'm going to repeat my recurring theme... Throw every bit of your energy into you. Including your new job. By the way... Congratulations!

You can't make her want to get back together. The harder you pull, the harder she pushes. Time to do a 180. Whatever you have been doing has not worked in this department so it's time to start mentally preparing to move on . We all know sometimes you have to fake it to make it, so put on the happy face. Start exuding confidence and just focus on you. Hit the gym, go out with the guys, keep slamming the job front, have some fun and just overall act like you aren't at a breaking point.

[worktowin]

My brother I understand wanting to hang on but dammit my friend you are killing yourself mentally. Move on there's other women out there looking for a man like you. And I will add it's easy for me to say this I'm not in your shoes. But remember those beautiful girls need there Dad. Head up candy, you will be fine, God will not put more on you than you can handle. Continue letting it out , it's not good to keep it in. I would look her straight in the eyes and say I want you to tell me it's over and also is there someone else? Be the man that you are. Prayers to you.

Pab, I am at the point were I am asking myself what is there to save, then my girls look at me. I realize they need to understand forgiveness and compassion, something that their mother has never learned or long since forgotten. I need lead by example, plain and simple.

I am out of ideas:

1. I have been applying to jobs like a mad man. I have one starting on Tuesday at a Toyota dealership, sales manager. I haven't stopped applying.
2. I have tried to be positive and understanding.
3. I have sought professional help.
4. I have been reading the bible and praying (thank you Rawls)
5. I have been trying to spend as much time with the girls as possible.
6. I have shared openly my feelings with her, like i do here.
7. I have tried to make sure I do the small things that she gets annoyed I dont do.

I am all ears...

I am seeing that you are making great strides my friend, lets look:

1 - You are being the good father and spending time with your girls. That in of itself should give you a great feeling to be with those who will look up to you.

2 - you have employment that you are seeking. It is a start, and might not be the long term answer of what you ultimately want, but you are a step to the positive.

3- From your postings here, I have seen a positive attitude, maybe a little down, but always a spark looking to the better (and even still helping others).

4 - Always to use prayer and the help of others when we feel we need. There is nothing wrong when it comes to that. We all came here to KTC when we needed help with quitting nicotine, and now with help needed in other areas in your life you are reaching out. Can be nothing smarter than what you are doing.

I say take a step back and look at what you are doing. This is all you. Do not worry about what the others may think as it is you and your reaction to how you are doing that means the world. Now I think looking at the 4 items I listed, that you are doing quite well and I think others would say the same for the effort you are giving. And I think if you look in the mirror you would probably come to the same conclusion, and if you do I would feel pretty good about yourself.

Just keep up the great work. I believe if you keep on doing what you are, everything will work out for the best in the end.

To me it's obvious what the problem is here. You have poured your heart out to this woman and for some reason or another she no longer wants or needs you. Once again I will say move on candy, to me you're wasting your time you could use elsewhere, she's not the only woman you are capable of loving. Remember it takes 2 and sometimes the harder you try ,the farther you're pushing her away. Sometimes a little time away makes my wife and myself think about things.

I'm going to repeat my recurring theme... Throw every bit of your energy into you. Including your new job. By the way... Congratulations!

[pab1964]

My brother I understand wanting to hang on but dammit my friend you are killing yourself mentally. Move on there's other women out there looking for a man like you. And I will add it's easy for me to say this I'm not in your shoes. But remember those beautiful girls need there Dad. Head up candy, you will be fine, God will not put more on you than you can handle. Continue letting it out , it's not good to keep it in. I would look her straight in the eyes and say I want you to tell me it's over and also is there someone else? Be the man that you are. Prayers to you.

Pab, I am at the point were I am asking myself what is there to save, then my girls look at me. I realize they need to understand forgiveness and compassion, something that their mother has never learned or long since forgotten. I need lead by example, plain and simple.

I am out of ideas:

1. I have been applying to jobs like a mad man. I have one starting on Tuesday at a Toyota dealership, sales manager. I haven't stopped applying.
2. I have tried to be positive and understanding.
3. I have sought professional help.
4. I have been reading the bible and praying (thank you Rawls)
5. I have been trying to spend as much time with the girls as possible.
6. I have shared openly my feelings with her, like i do here.
7. I have tried to make sure I do the small things that she gets annoyed I dont do.

I am all ears...

I am seeing that you are making great strides my friend, lets look:

1 - You are being the good father and spending time with your girls. That in of itself should give you a great feeling to be with those who will look up to you.

2 - you have employment that you are seeking. It is a start, and might not be the long term answer of what you ultimately want, but you are a step to the positive.

3- From your postings here, I have seen a positive attitude, maybe a little down, but always a spark looking to the better (and even still helping others).

4 - Always to use prayer and the help of others when we feel we need. There is nothing wrong when it comes to that. We all came here to KTC when we needed help with quitting nicotine, and now with help needed in other areas in your life you are reaching out. Can be nothing smarter than what you are doing.

I say take a step back and look at what you are doing. This is all you. Do not worry about what the others may think as it is you and your reaction to how you are doing that means the world. Now I think looking at the 4 items I listed, that you are doing quite well and I think others would say the same for the effort you are giving. And I think if you look in the mirror you would probably come to the same conclusion, and if you do I would feel pretty good about yourself.

Just keep up the great work. I believe if you keep on doing what you are, everything will work out for the best in the end.

To me it's obvious what the problem is here. You have poured your heart out to this woman and for some reason or another she no longer wants or needs you. Once again I will say move on candy, to me you're wasting your time you could use elsewhere, she's not the only woman you are capable of loving. Remember it takes 2 and sometimes the harder you try ,the farther you're pushing her away. Sometimes a little time away makes my wife and myself think about things.

[SirDerek]

My brother I understand wanting to hang on but dammit my friend you are killing yourself mentally. Move on there's other women out there looking for a man like you. And I will add it's easy for me to say this I'm not in your shoes. But remember those beautiful girls need there Dad. Head up candy, you will be fine, God will not put more on you than you can handle. Continue letting it out , it's not good to keep it in. I would look her straight in the eyes and say I want you to tell me it's over and also is there someone else? Be the man that you are. Prayers to you.

Pab, I am at the point were I am asking myself what is there to save, then my girls look at me. I realize they need to understand forgiveness and compassion, something that their mother has never learned or long since forgotten. I need lead by example, plain and simple.

I am out of ideas:

1. I have been applying to jobs like a mad man. I have one starting on Tuesday at a Toyota dealership, sales manager. I haven't stopped applying.
2. I have tried to be positive and understanding.
3. I have sought professional help.
4. I have been reading the bible and praying (thank you Rawls)
5. I have been trying to spend as much time with the girls as possible.
6. I have shared openly my feelings with her, like i do here.
7. I have tried to make sure I do the small things that she gets annoyed I dont do.

I am all ears...

I am seeing that you are making great strides my friend, lets look:

1 - You are being the good father and spending time with your girls. That in of itself should give you a great feeling to be with those who will look up to you.

2 - you have employment that you are seeking. It is a start, and might not be the long term answer of what you ultimately want, but you are a step to the positive.

3- From your postings here, I have seen a positive attitude, maybe a little down, but always a spark looking to the better (and even still helping others).

4 - Always to use prayer and the help of others when we feel we need. There is nothing wrong when it comes to that. We all came here to KTC when we needed help with quitting nicotine, and now with help needed in other areas in your life you are reaching out. Can be nothing smarter than what you are doing.

I say take a step back and look at what you are doing. This is all you. Do not worry about what the others may think as it is you and your reaction to how you are doing that means the world. Now I think looking at the 4 items I listed, that you are doing quite well and I think others would say the same for the effort you are giving. And I think if you look in the mirror you would probably come to the same conclusion, and if you do I would feel pretty good about yourself.

Just keep up the great work. I believe if you keep on doing what you are, everything will work out for the best in the end.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

Sell those toyotas like a fucking mad man. A guy don't come in the lot unless he is looking to buy.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

My brother I understand wanting to hang on but dammit my friend you are killing yourself mentally. Move on there's other women out there looking for a man like you. And I will add it's easy for me to say this I'm not in your shoes. But remember those beautiful girls need there Dad. Head up candy, you will be fine, God will not put more on you than you can handle. Continue letting it out , it's not good to keep it in. I would look her straight in the eyes and say I want you to tell me it's over and also is there someone else? Be the man that you are. Prayers to you.

Pab, I am at the point were I am asking myself what is there to save, then my girls look at me. I realize they need to understand forgiveness and compassion, something that their mother has never learned or long since forgotten. I need lead by example, plain and simple.

I am out of ideas:

1. I have been applying to jobs like a mad man. I have one starting on Tuesday at a Toyota dealership, sales manager. I haven't stopped applying.
2. I have tried to be positive and understanding.
3. I have sought professional help.
4. I have been reading the bible and praying (thank you Rawls)
5. I have been trying to spend as much time with the girls as possible.
6. I have shared openly my feelings with her, like i do here.
7. I have tried to make sure I do the small things that she gets annoyed I dont do.

I am all ears...

[Candoit]

My brother I understand wanting to hang on but dammit my friend you are killing yourself mentally. Move on there's other women out there looking for a man like you. And I will add it's easy for me to say this I'm not in your shoes. But remember those beautiful girls need there Dad. Head up candy, you will be fine, God will not put more on you than you can handle. Continue letting it out , it's not good to keep it in. I would look her straight in the eyes and say I want you to tell me it's over and also is there someone else? Be the man that you are. Prayers to you.

Pab, I am at the point were I am asking myself what is there to save, then my girls look at me. I realize they need to understand forgiveness and compassion, something that their mother has never learned or long since forgotten. I need lead by example, plain and simple.

I am out of ideas:

1. I have been applying to jobs like a mad man. I have one starting on Tuesday at a Toyota dealership, sales manager. I haven't stopped applying.
2. I have tried to be positive and understanding.
3. I have sought professional help.
4. I have been reading the bible and praying (thank you Rawls)
5. I have been trying to spend as much time with the girls as possible.
6. I have shared openly my feelings with her, like i do here.
7. I have tried to make sure I do the small things that she gets annoyed I dont do.

I am all ears...

[Candoit]

408/21

I asked her if she called the counselor to set the appointment yet?

Mrs C: I have been too busy at work to do anything else, and when I get in the car, I just need time to decompress.

Me: Understandable

Mrs. C: I don't think you get it. My feelings are not going to change, and you wont believe me until you hear it from someone else.

Me: We still should at least sit down with a counselor and talk.

Mrs. C: You figure out what your doing for your birthday tomorrow?

Me: I would like to do something with my family.

Mrs. C: Thats fine take the girls out to dinner and I will find something else to do.

Why am I chasing this hurt?

Nicotine won't help you at all.

I recommend you ignore her starting immediately. Don't say a word and only give short answers if she asks questions. See what happens. Sounds like it's worth a shot.

But hey, I'm not dr drew here. Just some schlub on a message board.

Nicotine is off the table for today. And it will be for tomorrow. That part will never change.

I am not a petty or spiteful person, but the more she pushes me away the more petty and spiteful I become.

[Candoit]

408/21

I asked her if she called the counselor to set the appointment yet?

Mrs C: I have been too busy at work to do anything else, and when I get in the car, I just need time to decompress.

Me: Understandable

Mrs. C: I don't think you get it. My feelings are not going to change, and you wont believe me until you hear it from someone else.

Me: We still should at least sit down with a counselor and talk.

Mrs. C: You figure out what your doing for your birthday tomorrow?

Me: I would like to do something with my family.

Mrs. C: Thats fine take the girls out to dinner and I will find something else to do.

Why am I chasing this hurt?

You asked a good question at the end. Why are you? Kind of like when you quit, you need to dig deep and figure the answer out. The sooner, the better.

Not saying you are doing the wrong thing. Not saying to stop. But you need to understand your motives.

My motives are pure at this point. I need the truth so I can move on. I understand that I may never get the truth but all of these reasons can't be it.

You don't go from love - we need to focus on being co-parents in 3 weeks.

[pab1964]

My brother I understand wanting to hang on but dammit my friend you are killing yourself mentally. Move on there's other women out there looking for a man like you. And I will add it's easy for me to say this I'm not in your shoes. But remember those beautiful girls need there Dad. Head up candy, you will be fine, God will not put more on you than you can handle. Continue letting it out , it's not good to keep it in. I would look her straight in the eyes and say I want you to tell me it's over and also is there someone else? Be the man that you are. Prayers to you.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

Just to clarify. I would ignore her in an aloof way. Not a mean or rude way. Make her think you are happy and not desperate. It works on some chicks.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

408/21

I asked her if she called the counselor to set the appointment yet?

Mrs C: I have been too busy at work to do anything else, and when I get in the car, I just need time to decompress.

Me: Understandable

Mrs. C: I don't think you get it. My feelings are not going to change, and you wont believe me until you hear it from someone else.

Me: We still should at least sit down with a counselor and talk.

Mrs. C: You figure out what your doing for your birthday tomorrow?

Me: I would like to do something with my family.

Mrs. C: Thats fine take the girls out to dinner and I will find something else to do.

Why am I chasing this hurt?

Nicotine won't help you at all.

I recommend you ignore her starting immediately. Don't say a word and only give short answers if she asks questions. See what happens. Sounds like it's worth a shot.

But hey, I'm not dr drew here. Just some schlub on a message board.

[worktowin]

408/21

I asked her if she called the counselor to set the appointment yet?

Mrs C: I have been too busy at work to do anything else, and when I get in the car, I just need time to decompress.

Me: Understandable

Mrs. C: I don't think you get it. My feelings are not going to change, and you wont believe me until you hear it from someone else.

Me: We still should at least sit down with a counselor and talk.

Mrs. C: You figure out what your doing for your birthday tomorrow?

Me: I would like to do something with my family.

Mrs. C: Thats fine take the girls out to dinner and I will find something else to do.

Why am I chasing this hurt?

You asked a good question at the end. Why are you? Kind of like when you quit, you need to dig deep and figure the answer out. The sooner, the better.

Not saying you are doing the wrong thing. Not saying to stop. But you need to understand your motives.

[Candoit]

408/21

I asked her if she called the counselor to set the appointment yet?

Mrs C: I have been too busy at work to do anything else, and when I get in the car, I just need time to decompress.

Me: Understandable

Mrs. C: I don't think you get it. My feelings are not going to change, and you wont believe me until you hear it from someone else.

Me: We still should at least sit down with a counselor and talk.

Mrs. C: You figure out what your doing for your birthday tomorrow?

Me: I would like to do something with my family.

Mrs. C: Thats fine take the girls out to dinner and I will find something else to do.

Why am I chasing this hurt?