This Time Is For Real

[pab1964]

Poof

[pab1964]

Bullshit!

[pab1964]

404/18 -

I sold my truck today. I have owned that truck since June of 2005 paid 1800 for it then with 90,000 miles, today it had 180,000 miles and I sold it for 1800. That pained me more than I suspected. The oldest was upset with me. But that money is more important than a truck, it is for my family.

She still keeping me more than an arms distance away. It is making me angry and resentful towards her, I am trying my hardest to stay positive and hopeful. Cut and run easy to do, what she wants to do, what I am resentful for. A wee bit hypocritical but keep pressing forward.

Space is what she wants but will not fix the problems. If she was actually working on fixing the problems maybe, but from where I stand she still is trying to place blame on everyone else. It takes two for a marriage to break or work.

Candy read what you wrote, it takes 2 in marriage to make it work. Looks like a one man show. Give her room, she may realize grass is not always greener on the other side! You to good a man to go through this shit!

[Candoit]

404/18 -

I sold my truck today. I have owned that truck since June of 2005 paid 1800 for it then with 90,000 miles, today it had 180,000 miles and I sold it for 1800. That pained me more than I suspected. The oldest was upset with me. But that money is more important than a truck, it is for my family.

She still keeping me more than an arms distance away. It is making me angry and resentful towards her, I am trying my hardest to stay positive and hopeful. Cut and run easy to do, what she wants to do, what I am resentful for. A wee bit hypocritical but keep pressing forward.

Space is what she wants but will not fix the problems. If she was actually working on fixing the problems maybe, but from where I stand she still is trying to place blame on everyone else. It takes two for a marriage to break or work.

[Candoit]

BELIEF - AWARENESS - RESPECT - KINDNESS
B.A.R.K

BELIEF

Believe in yourself
Believe that you are important
Believe that you can accomplish anything
Believe that there are people who love you
Believe that you can make a difference in this world
Believe that there are people who want to help you
Believe you are the best !!!AWARENESS

Aware of your family
Aware of your community and friends
Aware of the goals you must set for yourself
Aware of the consequences to the decisions of the things you do
Aware of those who will help you achieve your goals
Aware that your life is what you make of it
Aware that there are people who love you!!!RESPECT

Respect yourself
Respect your family
Respect is earned each and every day
Respect the rights and decisions of others even if they are different than yours
Respect those who are older than you
Respect your school and teachers
Respect is the key to your futureKINDNESS

Do the right thing
Be helpful without being told to be
Offer to do things for free - volunteer to help
Be kind to yourself - You must learn to love yourself before you can love others
No one stands so tall when they stoop to help a child
Be kind to all people and kindness will find youBark covers and protects the giant redwood, it cannot grow without it. It is it's armor, malleable and porous, yet strong, waterproof and able to be repaired.

These are my only four rules. These are the rules I raise my childern by. This is the ruler I measure myself by. I don't need a long list of rules, live and practice these in here and you will do tremendous things out there.

[jimthins]

I have a Wisteria bush I found on freecycle about 6-7 years ago. Since I have owned it has never bloomed. I was talking with an old Italian nursey owner about this. Wondering if it was time to dig it out and toss it.

His reply surpised me: "Wisteria does not behave like many plants that need the right amount of TLC. Wisteria thrives on damage. It takes at least 6 years to establish itself. Additionally you need to prune the new growth at least twice a year. Then either cut a ring of bark off or stab the roots with a shovel in Jan/Feb. Until it is threathened and shocked it has no reason to grow."

As I am in my yard now looking at the plant. I remembered this conversation. It takes time to grow roots. The strong roots are necessary to grow, but so is a shock. It can only handle the shock if it has strong roots.

As long as things are stable and calm, we have no reason to grow. Yet the scars and wounds force this to grow, expand, and flourish.

Some good words right there Cando. One of those things you don't take the time to stop and think about. Dig a little deeper, and think a little longer at the true meanings. We sometimes get caught up in our day-to-day activities not appreciating the small stuff.

[Candoit]

I have a Wisteria bush I found on freecycle about 6-7 years ago. Since I have owned it has never bloomed. I was talking with an old Italian nursey owner about this. Wondering if it was time to dig it out and toss it.

His reply surpised me: "Wisteria does not behave like many plants that need the right amount of TLC. Wisteria thrives on damage. It takes at least 6 years to establish itself. Additionally you need to prune the new growth at least twice a year. Then either cut a ring of bark off or stab the roots with a shovel in Jan/Feb. Until it is threathened and shocked it has no reason to grow."

As I am in my yard now looking at the plant. I remembered this conversation. It takes time to grow roots. The strong roots are necessary to grow, but so is a shock. It can only handle the shock if it has strong roots.

As long as things are stable and calm, we have no reason to grow. Yet the scars and wounds force this to grow, expand, and flourish.

[pab1964]

400 times I said I quit. - that's bad ass. That and that alone makes my day.
Time to make the bed.
Do not ring the bell.
Dig in and fight.
Continue to practice the Basics
I do no longer Wake Up Piss Post, but I wake up, pray, piss, post.

Candoit - I'm extremely happy for you today. I saw the number 400 and couldn't be more excited. A number of milestones you've passed, and a number more. Each one ever so important. Way to keep strong every single day. Proud to be quit with you today.

"I do no longer Wake Up Piss Post, but I wake up, pray, piss, post."

That's what I'm Screaming! CONGRATS Brother on 400.

Moving Forward
Rawls 282

Awesome 400 man!

400 is badassery! Smile today Candy everywhere I've posted, I've seen nothing but love for you! Damn proud to be quit with you today my brother!

[Candoit]

Just a little thought for all of the underpaid and under respected teachers.

Doctor is a Latin word, and it was borrowed from Latin already formed, with a meaning, namely 'teacher'. The word is formed exactly the way teacher is:

a verb root (English teach-, Latin doc-),
plus an agentive suffix (English -er, Latin -tor).

It was used to refer to an especially learned person, one who was authorized and qualified to teach.

It wasn't until the Twelfth Century AD in Europe that the modern Western universities were invented. The first universities were Guilds, of Masters or Students, and the Masters were Doctors, i.e, authorized teachers.

Gradually the Bachelor's, Master's, and Doctor's degrees evolved from a guild structure of Apprentice, Journeyman, and Master.

[trigerhapy]

400 times I said I quit. - that's bad ass. That and that alone makes my day.
Time to make the bed.
Do not ring the bell.
Dig in and fight.
Continue to practice the Basics
I do no longer Wake Up Piss Post, but I wake up, pray, piss, post.

Candoit - I'm extremely happy for you today. I saw the number 400 and couldn't be more excited. A number of milestones you've passed, and a number more. Each one ever so important. Way to keep strong every single day. Proud to be quit with you today.

"I do no longer Wake Up Piss Post, but I wake up, pray, piss, post."

That's what I'm Screaming! CONGRATS Brother on 400.

Moving Forward
Rawls 282

Awesome 400 man!

[Rawls]

400 times I said I quit. - that's bad ass. That and that alone makes my day.
Time to make the bed.
Do not ring the bell.
Dig in and fight.
Continue to practice the Basics
I do no longer Wake Up Piss Post, but I wake up, pray, piss, post.

Candoit - I'm extremely happy for you today. I saw the number 400 and couldn't be more excited. A number of milestones you've passed, and a number more. Each one ever so important. Way to keep strong every single day. Proud to be quit with you today.

"I do no longer Wake Up Piss Post, but I wake up, pray, piss, post."

That's what I'm Screaming! CONGRATS Brother on 400.

Moving Forward
Rawls 282

[jimthins]

400 times I said I quit. - that's bad ass. That and that alone makes my day.
Time to make the bed.
Do not ring the bell.
Dig in and fight.
Continue to practice the Basics
I do no longer Wake Up Piss Post, but I wake up, pray, piss, post.

Candoit - I'm extremely happy for you today. I saw the number 400 and couldn't be more excited. A number of milestones you've passed, and a number more. Each one ever so important. Way to keep strong every single day. Proud to be quit with you today.

[Candoit]

400 times I said I quit. - that's bad ass. That and that alone makes my day.
Time to make the bed.
Do not ring the bell.
Dig in and fight.
Continue to practice the Basics
I do no longer Wake Up Piss Post, but I wake up, pray, piss, post.

[KingNothing]

Congratulations on 400 Candyman. Good things coming your way in the next 100. We've got your back and I'm proud as hell to quit with you today.

[jabr]

My deepest fear is giving all of me and it not being returned. I afraid that when all bets are off that I will have never been lived like I have given.

I challenge everyone to love with no conditions your spouse. I love my wife as much as I love my daughters. I gave of myself so completely, that the wells ran dry.

I have replenished the wells to only find that she didn't wait. Why? I cannot bear the burden of this alone. She is making me to be the bad guy, she is making me hurt, she is making me doubt.

I am seeking forgiveness for 100% of the err, when I should be seeking forgiveness for 50% of the err. Why is she not seeking forgiveness?

Candy I have been married 31 year's. I will be the first to tell you it hasn't always been a cakewalk and it's still not
I was told by my Grandfather a time a young age that marriage has got to be 50/50 and you can never be to proud to admit when you are wrong. Men and woman always have problems admitting there wrong or always have to get the last word in but rest assured my friend you didn't screw your marriage up by yourself. Head up son, and stay strong. Prayers to you and quit on my brother!

Brother, those first 2 sentences flashed me back to 2012. Those statements are a hard realization, but they're true. You may never get as good as you gave. What I realized is you've got to get to a place where you're ok with that.

You said it yourself here or somewhere else recently that love is an act and not a feeling/emotion. No, I never got as good as I gave. But I finally realized, and accepted, that I gave absolutely everything I could, and that was the only side I could control.

In the end, I couldn't pull it out of the ditch. Hurt like a mother. Took me a long time to convince myself it wasn't a failure. It wasn't what I wanted. The conclusion wasn't what she wanted either, but she also didn't want to invest enough to fix it.

You say you need to move forward. I say you're moving forward regardless. Time stops for no man nor his circumstances.

Looking back with the clarity of hindsight, it's easy for me to relate this to you. But, believe me when I say, I recall with vivid clarity the devastation, the uncertainty, the exhaustion, the emasculated feelings, and the utter helplessness.

I dare say the way you've portrayed yourself on this forum over 400 days is the real you. My opinion is you're a solid guy whose put a tremendous effort into improving himself and helping others.

The sun will rise tomorrow. The day may not look like we expect or want. But, it will have potential for each of us to improve ourselves.

Keep grinding, Candoit. You got this.