Unexpected Day #1

Started by harvestgirl, September 18, 2018, 04:53:16 PM

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FISHFLORIDA

Keep the faith HG. Prayers with you.
Just one is right back to where you were and where you were was desperately wishing you were where you are now.- Via Flip
"But KNOW that quitting every day means that eventually you'll have to quit on the day Lassie kicks the bucket" - ZAM
My Intro
My HOF Speech

pab1964

Quote from: Gassy
Quote from: Nomore1959
Quote from: harvestgirlDay 155 Part 2

Aunt is in ICU after a surgery to place a stint. She very obviously needs to make drastic lifestyle/diet/exercise changes. She's known that for years but refuses to believe that her health problems are of her own fault. She's an extreme hoarder, has some mental issues, and to be a realist, she won't change. This is a pattern with her.


My aunt on my dad's side got in contact with me tonight.
My cousin and his wife adopted three years ago. This is Marysue's story. That article is over a year old now. Since that publishing they've been battling some other health issues, even though she was declared cancer free.

Today it was confirmed that she's in total irreversible liver rejection/failure.

I feel like no one on here is going to believe me with all this shit.

Sometimes it rains. Sometimes it pours. Sometimes there's a hurricane. Sometimes there's a tsunami.
When it rains it pours... yes. so sorry to hear its raining on your family. Prayers all around.
Don't worry about who believes you. The ones that matter are standing behind you, here to support no matter how rough it gets.
Wow HG I don't want to believe you but I do and I am so sorry. Hang in there, we're all with you. Prayers to you and family.
Tobacco is so addictive it took me a year after a massive heart attack, in which doctor confirmed caused from dipping to finally put a lid on the bitch! ODAAT EDD

Gas

Quote from: Nomore1959
Quote from: harvestgirlDay 155 Part 2

Aunt is in ICU after a surgery to place a stint. She very obviously needs to make drastic lifestyle/diet/exercise changes. She's known that for years but refuses to believe that her health problems are of her own fault. She's an extreme hoarder, has some mental issues, and to be a realist, she won't change. This is a pattern with her.


My aunt on my dad's side got in contact with me tonight.
My cousin and his wife adopted three years ago. This is Marysue's story. That article is over a year old now. Since that publishing they've been battling some other health issues, even though she was declared cancer free.

Today it was confirmed that she's in total irreversible liver rejection/failure.

I feel like no one on here is going to believe me with all this shit.

Sometimes it rains. Sometimes it pours. Sometimes there's a hurricane. Sometimes there's a tsunami.
When it rains it pours... yes. so sorry to hear its raining on your family. Prayers all around.
Don't worry about who believes you. The ones that matter are standing behind you, here to support no matter how rough it gets.
Quit day: 9/23/16   HOF day: 12/31/16   2nd Floor: 4/10/17   3rd Floor: 7/19/17   1 Year: 9/23/17   4th Floor: 10/27/17   5th Floor: 2/4/18   6th Floor: 5/15/18   7th Floor: 8/23/18   2 Years: 09/23/18

Nomore1959

Quote from: harvestgirlDay 155 Part 2

Aunt is in ICU after a surgery to place a stint. She very obviously needs to make drastic lifestyle/diet/exercise changes. She's known that for years but refuses to believe that her health problems are of her own fault. She's an extreme hoarder, has some mental issues, and to be a realist, she won't change. This is a pattern with her.


My aunt on my dad's side got in contact with me tonight.
My cousin and his wife adopted three years ago. This is Marysue's story. That article is over a year old now. Since that publishing they've been battling some other health issues, even though she was declared cancer free.

Today it was confirmed that she's in total irreversible liver rejection/failure.

I feel like no one on here is going to believe me with all this shit.

Sometimes it rains. Sometimes it pours. Sometimes there's a hurricane. Sometimes there's a tsunami.
When it rains it pours... yes. so sorry to hear its raining on your family. Prayers all around.

harvestgirl

Day 155 Part 2

Aunt is in ICU after a surgery to place a stint. She very obviously needs to make drastic lifestyle/diet/exercise changes. She's known that for years but refuses to believe that her health problems are of her own fault. She's an extreme hoarder, has some mental issues, and to be a realist, she won't change. This is a pattern with her.


My aunt on my dad's side got in contact with me tonight.
My cousin and his wife adopted three years ago. This is Marysue's story. That article is over a year old now. Since that publishing they've been battling some other health issues, even though she was declared cancer free.

Today it was confirmed that she's in total irreversible liver rejection/failure.

I feel like no one on here is going to believe me with all this shit.

Sometimes it rains. Sometimes it pours. Sometimes there's a hurricane. Sometimes there's a tsunami.
"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

Dylan Thomas
Quit Date: 9.26.16 HOF Date: 1.3.17 9th Floor: 3.14.19
Read my Intro.
Read my HOF Speech.

FLLipOut

Prayers going up...again. Damn, HG, I am so sorry!
Just one and you will be back to where you started, and where you started was desperately wishing you were where you are now.
"The best way out is always through." - Robert Frost
"I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you!" - Samwise Gamgee
HOF: 10.29.16 | FL 2: 02.06.17 | FL 3: 05.17.17 | Y1: 07.22.17 | FL 4: 08.25.17 | FL 5: 12.03.17 | FL 6: 03.13.18 | FL 7: 06.21.18 | Y2: 07.22.18 | FL 8: 09.29.18 | FL 9: 01.07.19 | COMMA , : 04.17.19 | Y3: 07.22.19 | FL 11: 07.26.19 | FL 12: 11.03.19 | FL 13: 02.11.20 | FL 14: 05.21.20 | Y4: 07.22.20 | FL 15: 08.29.20  | FL 16: 12.07.20 | FL 17: 03.17.21 | FL 18: 06.25.21 | Y5: 07.22.21 | FL 19: 06.25.21 | FL 20 ,, : 01.11.22 | FL 21: 04.21.22 | Y6: 07.22.22 | FL 22: 07.30.22 | FL 23: 11.07.22 | FL 24: 02.15.23 | FL 25: 05.26.23 | Y7: 07.22.23 | FL 26: 09.03.23 | FL 27: 12.12.23 | FL 28: 03.21.24 | FL 29: 06.29.24 | Y8: 07.22.24 | FL 30 ,,,: 10.07.24 | FL 31: 01.15.25 | FL 32: 04.25.25 | Y9: 07.22.23 | FL 33: 08.03.25 | FL 34: 11.11.25 | FL 35: 02.19.26 | FL 36: 05.30.26 | Y10 07.22.26 | FL 37: 09.07.26

harvestgirl

Day 155.

My mom just called. My aunt was airlifted from our hometown to Green Bay for a massive heart attack.

No real details yet.

Does this ever end?

This is my verbal promise. I quit today. I will stay quit today. One god damn moment at a time.
"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

Dylan Thomas
Quit Date: 9.26.16 HOF Date: 1.3.17 9th Floor: 3.14.19
Read my Intro.
Read my HOF Speech.

harvestgirl

Day 154

I should have written before.

Made it through being home in WI for Ray's funeral the best I could hope for. The 10 days I was fucking hell for the most part.
Life has its silver linings though, and one of my dearest closest friends had their first child, a little boy, the day I left for home. I got to spend a lot of time being Auntie Amanda, and oh, how I needed that. There's something just.... pure and innocent and okay with the world when you're holding a sleeping newborn. It puts things in perspective a little bit.

On the return trip home on my Day 145, I was asked by my boss to make a pit stop in Minneapolis to pick up an airplane propeller. I was able to coordinate a lunch/beer date with Viking, PMILS, and MNxE. This was my first time meeting any other quitters. We always hear "Go meet another quitter! It strengthens your quit! It helps you!" I thought I sort of understood the concept, but usually ignored at how emphatic people were over it.

Oh, how I was wrong on that. Meeting those three guys completely changed my perspective. It DID strengthen my quit. There's something that makes your quit totally different when you can put a legitimate name to a face, especially ones that have posted support for you, and ones that you've supported. It. was. amazing.

And then I made it home to Nebraska the next day.

So now I've been home for a little bit over a week- and it keeps on going.
More changes to the medication routine, hopefully for the better.
So I get to continue to play that game. No booze for the foreseeable future with the combination of stuff I have in my little pharmacy of post quit. I could make a hella wad of cash on the street with it all though.

I have never hated the nic bitch more.
I want my life back.
I hate the control I didn't know she had and the control she still has.
Because, fuck these lingering side effects.

And then there was today.
My mom let me know tonight that Ray's mom, Shirley, passed away today. Shirley also lost her brother last week. Shirley has been in a nursing home for quite awhile; this wasn't unexpected, and to be honest, I don't think anyone is surprised at her passing- especially now.

But I think of Ray's two remaining brothers. They buried the best brother anyone could have, their mother, and an uncle.
Ray's four kids lost their dad and grandmother.
All within 12 days.
I know everything happens for a reason. Everyone's time on this Earth doesn't have a guarantee. I could be gone tomorrow suddenly. But, why? What's the reason for all this happening that side of the family? What's the fucking purpose? The "silver lining"?

So I'm craving like a mother fucker right now. I give my promise that I will not cave. I've texted my "squad" and vented to my League in January.
The major side effect right now of the new medication is the worst cotton mouth and dehydration I've ever had. It's so bad that it's damn impossible to use my TeaZa. The cinnamon toothpicks I've grown to love just soak up anything, and gum turns into concrete. I just tried cough drops and they just stick to my tongue. I've resorted to chomping on ice chips. To be honest, even the thought of having any chew packed in with this horrible of cotton mouth makes me gag. Good news, I know that this side effect is pretty temporary- in a few days this will go away.

Maybe this was a super disjointed post to follow. Maybe it doesn't make sense to anyone but me.

But, here's to day 154 of being fucking QUIT.
Tonight, I am damn proud to call myself a quitter.
I am a Quitter.
"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

Dylan Thomas
Quit Date: 9.26.16 HOF Date: 1.3.17 9th Floor: 3.14.19
Read my Intro.
Read my HOF Speech.

Richard C

Quote from: harvestgirlDay 141
2/13/2017
Brasswhole

You guys never heard the story of HG and the BAQ?

Once upon a time there was a quitter, and she was the greatest quitter in all the land.
This quitter, you see, wasn't any ordinary quitter. She was what some would call a "bad ass quitter."

Across the world you would find normal ass quitters who didn't know what it really meant.
They would walk around and say, "Hey, I'm a normal ass quitter."

And to the world, they were above all others, for they, you see, had "quit."

As they plowed the fields, and harvested the grain, the wore their nifty-wifty patch which substantiated them. For they, you see, were "quit".

Then one day, a brave women stepped upon her bale of hay and yelled, "HEY".

"You poser ass, nic-licking douche mother f'ers! I'm about to show y'all what it means to quit!" and she spit the last brown spit the world would ever see down on the peasantry below.

As the rain of kitty-kat turd hit the ground, the thundering clouds above dispersed.

Suddenly, a brilliant ray of light pierced the overcast vale above.

There stood a brilliant maven of Quit. A shield maiden of righteousness. A true symbol of the Quit.

Atop her combine she yelled: "One Day At A Time."

(cmark: Don't forget her bitching out the shitty South African employees .....)

The wretched peons below replied: "We are your League of Extraordinary Quitters!"

The unanimous roar of the spit from the final cat turds fell from their mouths.

The ground shuddered as the Big Tobacco industry wept.

The dismal gray of the land before began to fade.

The world turned bright as the new future was faced by the almighty quit goddess brought forth the new reality

"We shall not fail today!" she yelled, as the legions of her glory took up arms.

For today, we, as the mighty quit army venture forth, are quit. As we shall forever be. So today, brothers and sisters, we go forth, and we yell .... "ODAAT, ODAAT, ODAAT."

HG wanted a bed time story ... So I pulled out my favorite story for her - brasswhole
ODAAT.

harvestgirl

Day 141
2/13/2017
Brasswhole

You guys never heard the story of HG and the BAQ?

Once upon a time there was a quitter, and she was the greatest quitter in all the land.
This quitter, you see, wasn't any ordinary quitter. She was what some would call a "bad ass quitter."

Across the world you would find normal ass quitters who didn't know what it really meant.
They would walk around and say, "Hey, I'm a normal ass quitter."

And to the world, they were above all others, for they, you see, had "quit."

As they plowed the fields, and harvested the grain, the wore their nifty-wifty patch which substantiated them. For they, you see, were "quit".

Then one day, a brave women stepped upon her bale of hay and yelled, "HEY".

"You poser ass, nic-licking douche mother f'ers! I'm about to show y'all what it means to quit!" and she spit the last brown spit the world would ever see down on the peasantry below.

As the rain of kitty-kat turd hit the ground, the thundering clouds above dispersed.

Suddenly, a brilliant ray of light pierced the overcast vale above.

There stood a brilliant maven of Quit. A shield maiden of righteousness. A true symbol of the Quit.

Atop her combine she yelled: "One Day At A Time."

(cmark: Don't forget her bitching out the shitty South African employees .....)

The wretched peons below replied: "We are your League of Extraordinary Quitters!"

The unanimous roar of the spit from the final cat turds fell from their mouths.

The ground shuddered as the Big Tobacco industry wept.

The dismal gray of the land before began to fade.

The world turned bright as the new future was faced by the almighty quit goddess brought forth the new reality

"We shall not fail today!" she yelled, as the legions of her glory took up arms.

For today, we, as the mighty quit army venture forth, are quit. As we shall forever be. So today, brothers and sisters, we go forth, and we yell .... "ODAAT, ODAAT, ODAAT."

HG wanted a bed time story ... So I pulled out my favorite story for her - brasswhole
"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

Dylan Thomas
Quit Date: 9.26.16 HOF Date: 1.3.17 9th Floor: 3.14.19
Read my Intro.
Read my HOF Speech.

Rawls

In my prayers girl.
Your right....Life isn't fair.
At times, Its hard to Be Still.
But.
Truth is like cream,
You keep churning...
It will rise.
And in it... Is the power to set us all Free.
I quit with you.
Rawls 816
I believe.....

Stranger999

Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: JB65So sorry for your loss HG. We are here 20,000 + strong for you EDD.

My hardest days were post HOF 125-about 160.... I mean real tough, just like you are going through. I really dove back into the INTROS and started helping newbies get rolling.. rededicated myself to the quit. Started posting in random older and even newer groups.

Just hang tough girl, you will get through this and all other problems that may come your way - NIC FREE. Thinking about you and praying for you and the family as well
Prayers Going up for you and yours HG. ❤?❤
Nicotine really sucks. It tries to give us a built in excuse to keep using it. Life will be hard regardless of nicotine. Keep kicking it to the curb every day.

Stay with us HG and keep winning! :)

ChickDip

Quote from: JB65So sorry for your loss HG. We are here 20,000 + strong for you EDD.

My hardest days were post HOF 125-about 160.... I mean real tough, just like you are going through. I really dove back into the INTROS and started helping newbies get rolling.. rededicated myself to the quit. Started posting in random older and even newer groups.

Just hang tough girl, you will get through this and all other problems that may come your way - NIC FREE. Thinking about you and praying for you and the family as well
Prayers Going up for you and yours HG. ❤?❤
July 2015 Jackals - House of WUPP
"....the load doesn't weigh me down at all, he ain't heavy he's my brother"
Try to believe that you are worth more than you think, and others are worth more than you think.
"If you haven't... Quit now......If you have... Stay that way " ~AppleJack
"Make It Through Today" WarE2013 (Rest Easy)
"I am quit... for today... with you... but not FOR you" ~LBP
"Endeavor to Persevere!" Lone Waite

my intro / my HOF speech / my comma club
Building a Strong Quit / My HOF Day

JB65

So sorry for your loss HG. We are here 20,000 + strong for you EDD.

My hardest days were post HOF 125-about 160.... I mean real tough, just like you are going through. I really dove back into the INTROS and started helping newbies get rolling.. rededicated myself to the quit. Started posting in random older and even newer groups.

Just hang tough girl, you will get through this and all other problems that may come your way - NIC FREE. Thinking about you and praying for you and the family as well

DonkeyMN

Quote from: harvestgirlBut there's that one little last nic voice whispering in the back of my head, "You felt so much better while chewing.You didn't have these side effects. You felt normal and sane. You can use me as a security blanket."

And I say to her, "Fuck you."
Yeah, fuck her. She doesn't care about you, your quit, your health, your family....

She isn't taking time from her day to say - "I'm sorry for your loss" or "Please know that it will get better"

We stand with you, behind you.
To remain quit requires focus
[spoiler=HOF Speech]https://ktcforum.org/index.php?topic=637.msg29622#msg29622[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Introduction]https://ktcforum.org/index.php?topic=8358.msg469441#msg469441[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Birth of Responsibility]"That we are no longer this poor little stranger and afraid in a world it never made. But that you are this universe and you are creating it in every moment. Because you see it starts now, it didn't begin in the past, there was no past. See, if the universe began in the past when that happened it was now; see, but it's still now â€" and the universe is still beginning now, and it's trailing off like the wake of a ship from now, and that wake fades out so does the past. You can look back there to explain things, but the explanation disappears. You'll never find it there. Things are not explained by the past, they are explained by what Happens Now. That Creates the past, and it begins here. That's the birth of responsibility." ~Alan Watts[/spoiler]