I'm A Douche

[SWJ]

Fuck LoPan.

How dare you, sir...

[Smokeyg]

I've been thinking a LOT about you and your return, so let me clear the air before we go too far along, and when I say that this is JUST becoming clear to me, I mean in like the past 2 minutes.

I'm fucking pissed at you.  I took your cave very, very hard. 

I'm pissed like a wife who just found out her husband was cheating on her when he went out to his Friday night poker game, only to tell her he's sorry, but keeps going out to his Friday night poker game.

I find your humor fucking hysterical, but you know what?  Too soon. 

Yea, I said it, and I think there are others who are thinking it.  Too fucking soon.

When I read your schtick now, I see no remorse.  I see that older guy who never stopped going to high school parties on weekends.  You know, the guy who never left his shitty town, maybe he was the football captain and hero, but now he's 28, and works at the Dollar Store, but LOVES the attention he gets when he crashes the weekend 'rager' and relives the glory days?  Maybe he even buys the booze. 

Now you say you've got your head and your ass wired right this time.  It's just too soon for me to be convinced 'just cuz you say so'. 

So excuse me for not jumping up and down and telling you how happy I am to have your shit back.  Cuz while I'm VERY happy you're back, I'm going to be pissed for a long, long time.

And you get no slack from me.

And, I'll tell you something else - I've kept my fingers off the keyboard as much as I can, but today was too much.

I'm not in the least going to discourage you from posting your thoughts here, you are free too, just as I am free to comment on them; however, you will not start a new topic when the wind blows.  I think you've been trying to guard your image, and hide what happened.  There will be no your image before, during, or after your cave. 

Yep, I've been merging them.  Don't get all butt hurt over it.  This is your intro page, and it's not better than mine.

You are not just a douche and tool, but you are quite possibly the whole fucking tool bag.

It's vets like you that keep me entertained by your sheer arrogance, stupidity and addiction to this site.

It's members like SWJ that keep me entertained by truly creative and hilarious posts.

Your rage and how you tie his humor and over the top bravado comedy schtik to his cave is almost childlike in a temper tantrum kind of way.

Very little on this site is worth commenting on, but your stupidity is definitely the exception.

Today I give thanks to SWJ for true comedy brilliance and to NOLAQ for true unintentional comedy ignorance!

Wait for it....be patient....


'libs2'

Wow. Just Wow.

I wouldn't call NOLAQ arrogant or ignorant for this comment. He's fucking dedicated. He knows this shit is no laughing matter. However, SWJ can be a funny fucker. He's not making light of his cave or his quit, he's just a funny fucker. Not too soon. SWJ, NOLAQ and CarolinaBS all speak their truth. Keep it really real bitches.

Fuck LoPan.

[Ready]

I've been thinking a LOT about you and your return, so let me clear the air before we go too far along, and when I say that this is JUST becoming clear to me, I mean in like the past 2 minutes.

I'm fucking pissed at you.  I took your cave very, very hard. 

I'm pissed like a wife who just found out her husband was cheating on her when he went out to his Friday night poker game, only to tell her he's sorry, but keeps going out to his Friday night poker game.

I find your humor fucking hysterical, but you know what?  Too soon. 

Yea, I said it, and I think there are others who are thinking it.  Too fucking soon.

When I read your schtick now, I see no remorse.  I see that older guy who never stopped going to high school parties on weekends.  You know, the guy who never left his shitty town, maybe he was the football captain and hero, but now he's 28, and works at the Dollar Store, but LOVES the attention he gets when he crashes the weekend 'rager' and relives the glory days?  Maybe he even buys the booze. 

Now you say you've got your head and your ass wired right this time.  It's just too soon for me to be convinced 'just cuz you say so'. 

So excuse me for not jumping up and down and telling you how happy I am to have your shit back.  Cuz while I'm VERY happy you're back, I'm going to be pissed for a long, long time.

And you get no slack from me.

And, I'll tell you something else - I've kept my fingers off the keyboard as much as I can, but today was too much.

I'm not in the least going to discourage you from posting your thoughts here, you are free too, just as I am free to comment on them; however, you will not start a new topic when the wind blows.  I think you've been trying to guard your image, and hide what happened.  There will be no your image before, during, or after your cave. 

Yep, I've been merging them.  Don't get all butt hurt over it.  This is your intro page, and it's not better than mine.

You are not just a douche and tool, but you are quite possibly the whole fucking tool bag.

It's vets like you that keep me entertained by your sheer arrogance, stupidity and addiction to this site.

It's members like SWJ that keep me entertained by truly creative and hilarious posts.

Your rage and how you tie his humor and over the top bravado comedy schtik to his cave is almost childlike in a temper tantrum kind of way.

Very little on this site is worth commenting on, but your stupidity is definitely the exception.

Today I give thanks to SWJ for true comedy brilliance and to NOLAQ for true unintentional comedy ignorance!

Wait for it....be patient....


'libs2'

Wow. Just Wow.

[tony]

I've been thinking a LOT about you and your return, so let me clear the air before we go too far along, and when I say that this is JUST becoming clear to me, I mean in like the past 2 minutes.

I'm fucking pissed at you.  I took your cave very, very hard. 

I'm pissed like a wife who just found out her husband was cheating on her when he went out to his Friday night poker game, only to tell her he's sorry, but keeps going out to his Friday night poker game.

I find your humor fucking hysterical, but you know what?  Too soon. 

Yea, I said it, and I think there are others who are thinking it.  Too fucking soon.

When I read your schtick now, I see no remorse.  I see that older guy who never stopped going to high school parties on weekends.  You know, the guy who never left his shitty town, maybe he was the football captain and hero, but now he's 28, and works at the Dollar Store, but LOVES the attention he gets when he crashes the weekend 'rager' and relives the glory days?  Maybe he even buys the booze. 

Now you say you've got your head and your ass wired right this time.  It's just too soon for me to be convinced 'just cuz you say so'. 

So excuse me for not jumping up and down and telling you how happy I am to have your shit back.  Cuz while I'm VERY happy you're back, I'm going to be pissed for a long, long time.

And you get no slack from me.

And, I'll tell you something else - I've kept my fingers off the keyboard as much as I can, but today was too much.

I'm not in the least going to discourage you from posting your thoughts here, you are free too, just as I am free to comment on them; however, you will not start a new topic when the wind blows.  I think you've been trying to guard your image, and hide what happened.  There will be no your image before, during, or after your cave. 

Yep, I've been merging them.  Don't get all butt hurt over it.  This is your intro page, and it's not better than mine.

You are not just a douche and tool, but you are quite possibly the whole fucking tool bag.

It's vets like you that keep me entertained by your sheer arrogance, stupidity and addiction to this site.

It's members like SWJ that keep me entertained by truly creative and hilarious posts.

Your rage and how you tie his humor and over the top bravado comedy schtik to his cave is almost childlike in a temper tantrum kind of way.

Very little on this site is worth commenting on, but your stupidity is definitely the exception.

Today I give thanks to SWJ for true comedy brilliance and to NOLAQ for true unintentional comedy ignorance!

Wait for it....be patient....


'libs2'

What are we waiting for?

[redtrain14]

I've been thinking a LOT about you and your return, so let me clear the air before we go too far along, and when I say that this is JUST becoming clear to me, I mean in like the past 2 minutes.

I'm fucking pissed at you.  I took your cave very, very hard. 

I'm pissed like a wife who just found out her husband was cheating on her when he went out to his Friday night poker game, only to tell her he's sorry, but keeps going out to his Friday night poker game.

I find your humor fucking hysterical, but you know what?  Too soon. 

Yea, I said it, and I think there are others who are thinking it.  Too fucking soon.

When I read your schtick now, I see no remorse.  I see that older guy who never stopped going to high school parties on weekends.  You know, the guy who never left his shitty town, maybe he was the football captain and hero, but now he's 28, and works at the Dollar Store, but LOVES the attention he gets when he crashes the weekend 'rager' and relives the glory days?  Maybe he even buys the booze. 

Now you say you've got your head and your ass wired right this time.  It's just too soon for me to be convinced 'just cuz you say so'. 

So excuse me for not jumping up and down and telling you how happy I am to have your shit back.  Cuz while I'm VERY happy you're back, I'm going to be pissed for a long, long time.

And you get no slack from me.

And, I'll tell you something else - I've kept my fingers off the keyboard as much as I can, but today was too much.

I'm not in the least going to discourage you from posting your thoughts here, you are free too, just as I am free to comment on them; however, you will not start a new topic when the wind blows.  I think you've been trying to guard your image, and hide what happened.  There will be no your image before, during, or after your cave. 

Yep, I've been merging them.  Don't get all butt hurt over it.  This is your intro page, and it's not better than mine.

You are not just a douche and tool, but you are quite possibly the whole fucking tool bag.

It's vets like you that keep me entertained by your sheer arrogance, stupidity and addiction to this site.

It's members like SWJ that keep me entertained by truly creative and hilarious posts.

Your rage and how you tie his humor and over the top bravado comedy schtik to his cave is almost childlike in a temper tantrum kind of way.

Very little on this site is worth commenting on, but your stupidity is definitely the exception.

Today I give thanks to SWJ for true comedy brilliance and to NOLAQ for true unintentional comedy ignorance!

Wait for it....be patient....


'libs2'

[G]

Day #4 started today. Days 1-3 were easier than I thought they would be, but today is tough. I miss my Grizzly. I miss the taste, I miss the slight buzz, I miss the smell of a brand new, freshly opened can, I miss that first pinch, and the ridiculous little amount of excitement that I got when I realized that this can was fresher and more moist than the last can. God, I could use a dip right now...

I don't think I'll do it though -

First, I told myself that I wouldn't. Second, I told all of you that I wouldn't. I haven't told my wife that I've stopped yet, but my plan was to wait until I got an entire week under my belt to tell her. Third, I don't need the dip. I want it, but I don't need it.

Short term...? Quitting sucks. I hate quitting and I miss dipping.
Long term...? It's the right thing to do  I'd much rather The Quit suck a little bit, than suck a LOT because I'm going to die. I don't really want to quit, but I don't want to die even more.

For my own sake, I'm going to go through writing down my reasons for quitting again - You can read them, but right now they're for me - If I don't write these down again, I'm afraid I will go directly to the convenience store for the Grizzly, so here they are:

1. I don't want my wife to marry someone else because I died from this shit.
2. I don't want some other dude living in my house because I died from this shit.
3. I don't want anyone else taking care of my 7 year old little boy. I am the only person on earth who knows how to love him the best.
4. My twelve year old son needs me - I promised him that I would be around for a long, long time  I don't want him asking some other guy some day why I lied to him.
5. My wife deserves better. I am ashamed of having lied to her all this time and I am going to be the man she deserves me to be.
6. I don't want to think about some other dude laughing and joking with his friends about dating my wife because he heard that her first husband was some kind of an idiot and killed himself with dip...
7. My wife and I made our family - Without the 2 of us, there would be no 4 of us.
8. I love my family and they love me.
9. Without me though, some other man would eventually come into their lives.
10. My family needs me and I need them - Nothing is more important to us than each other and the three of them deserve to be proud of me instead of ashamed and embarassed
11. My wife deserves the marriage that she always wanted - Tobacco is the ONE thing that has come between us and THAT is OVER.

I DON'T CARE IF I HAVE TO WRITE THIS OVER AND OVER EVERY DAY FOR THE NEXT YEAR. I am THROUGH with tobacco - I miss it, but I no longer care more about that than I do about the important things: Love, family, health, wisdom, and so on. Grizzly, Kodiak, whatever - There is NO way that they compare with the things that are important to me now.

The hold that tobacco had on me is slipping away and the habit is losing its grip.
It will undoubtedly catch someone else today and start the struggle anew, but the struggle here is DONE.

There is no way that tobacco can step to my Ninja willpower.

Bump. Notice the date, men. He's got some trust to earn back.

[carolinaBS]

I've been thinking a LOT about you and your return, so let me clear the air before we go too far along, and when I say that this is JUST becoming clear to me, I mean in like the past 2 minutes.

I'm fucking pissed at you.  I took your cave very, very hard. 

I'm pissed like a wife who just found out her husband was cheating on her when he went out to his Friday night poker game, only to tell her he's sorry, but keeps going out to his Friday night poker game.

I find your humor fucking hysterical, but you know what?  Too soon. 

Yea, I said it, and I think there are others who are thinking it.  Too fucking soon.

When I read your schtick now, I see no remorse.  I see that older guy who never stopped going to high school parties on weekends.  You know, the guy who never left his shitty town, maybe he was the football captain and hero, but now he's 28, and works at the Dollar Store, but LOVES the attention he gets when he crashes the weekend 'rager' and relives the glory days?  Maybe he even buys the booze. 

Now you say you've got your head and your ass wired right this time.  It's just too soon for me to be convinced 'just cuz you say so'. 

So excuse me for not jumping up and down and telling you how happy I am to have your shit back.  Cuz while I'm VERY happy you're back, I'm going to be pissed for a long, long time.

And you get no slack from me.

And, I'll tell you something else - I've kept my fingers off the keyboard as much as I can, but today was too much.

I'm not in the least going to discourage you from posting your thoughts here, you are free too, just as I am free to comment on them; however, you will not start a new topic when the wind blows.  I think you've been trying to guard your image, and hide what happened.  There will be no your image before, during, or after your cave. 

Yep, I've been merging them.  Don't get all butt hurt over it.  This is your intro page, and it's not better than mine.

You are not just a douche and tool, but you are quite possibly the whole fucking tool bag.

It's vets like you that keep me entertained by your sheer arrogance, stupidity and addiction to this site.

It's members like SWJ that keep me entertained by truly creative and hilarious posts.

Your rage and how you tie his humor and over the top bravado comedy schtik to his cave is almost childlike in a temper tantrum kind of way.

Very little on this site is worth commenting on, but your stupidity is definitely the exception.

Today I give thanks to SWJ for true comedy brilliance and to NOLAQ for true unintentional comedy ignorance!

[G]

Simply put, my intention is to stay close.  To here.  To June.

Previously, as long as I was here...posting roll...staying in touch...I was fine.

I, however, didn't stay.  I didn't post.  I didn't stay in touch.  And I failed.

I know from before that it does get easier  I'm looking forward to that.

Between now and then, I plan to recommit every single day and make that commitment public every single day.

By staying here...

Hey Brother you are quit today and all of us in June are quit with you. keep it up and keep the funny shit rolling, it helps me get through the day.

I agree with nutbutter. SWJ admitted his mistakes and is taking his licks. Give him props for having the balls to come back and take the heat. I don't think he owes any more apologies.

Let him spew humor or whatever he wishes. It helps folks and we all enjoy it; dude has a gift. I quit with SWJ and all of you today.

.... and let the people who are pizzd off get it out. Only way to move forward.

Dr phil

I rarely have any serious cravings anymore, just the random thought that quickly disappears because I've made my promise to all of you.

But when I do have thoughts, I don't think about some assclown caver who happens to be funny. I think of all those in April 11 who have gone through the same shit with me. Who give their word each day and keep it.

I love this thread and the humor in here is timeless. I've sent many others to this thread as well. But when I need a man in the trench with me, it ain't this guy. I'm not trying to be a dick, but his word don't mean jack sheet right now.

Carry on.

[DW3]

Simply put, my intention is to stay close.  To here.  To June.

Previously, as long as I was here...posting roll...staying in touch...I was fine.

I, however, didn't stay.  I didn't post.  I didn't stay in touch.  And I failed.

I know from before that it does get easier  I'm looking forward to that.

Between now and then, I plan to recommit every single day and make that commitment public every single day.

By staying here...

Hey Brother you are quit today and all of us in June are quit with you. keep it up and keep the funny shit rolling, it helps me get through the day.

I agree with nutbutter. SWJ admitted his mistakes and is taking his licks. Give him props for having the balls to come back and take the heat. I don't think he owes any more apologies.

Let him spew humor or whatever he wishes. It helps folks and we all enjoy it; dude has a gift. I quit with SWJ and all of you today.

.... and let the people who are pizzd off get it out. Only way to move forward.

Dr phil

[rgross298]

Simply put, my intention is to stay close.  To here.  To June.

Previously, as long as I was here...posting roll...staying in touch...I was fine.

I, however, didn't stay.  I didn't post.  I didn't stay in touch.  And I failed.

I know from before that it does get easier  I'm looking forward to that.

Between now and then, I plan to recommit every single day and make that commitment public every single day.

By staying here...

Hey Brother you are quit today and all of us in June are quit with you. keep it up and keep the funny shit rolling, it helps me get through the day.

I agree with nutbutter. SWJ admitted his mistakes and is taking his licks. Give him props for having the balls to come back and take the heat. I don't think he owes any more apologies.

Let him spew humor or whatever he wishes. It helps folks and we all enjoy it; dude has a gift. I quit with SWJ and all of you today.

[penutbuter]

Simply put, my intention is to stay close. To here. To June.

Previously, as long as I was here...posting roll...staying in touch...I was fine.

I, however, didn't stay. I didn't post. I didn't stay in touch. And I failed.

I know from before that it does get easier  I'm looking forward to that.

Between now and then, I plan to recommit every single day and make that commitment public every single day.

By staying here...

Hey Brother you are quit today and all of us in June are quit with you. keep it up and keep the funny shit rolling, it helps me get through the day.

[SWJ]

Yea, man, that's some funny stuff right there, yuk, yuk, yuk.

Too bad you couldn't have made that list up before you caved.

Oh, and you will struggle...it's coming...so you might want to keep this shit close to your chest funny man.

Just so you know, having a sense of humor isn't why I failed the first time.

I'm aware of what caused me to fail the first time and my intention to see this through is as genuine as it can be.

And I'll keep coming here and posting my thoughts.

Clearly because it helps me to do so, and not because you'll find them entertaining.

So what are you doing differently this time SWJ?

Simply put, my intention is to stay close. To here. To June.

Previously, as long as I was here...posting roll...staying in touch...I was fine.

I, however, didn't stay. I didn't post. I didn't stay in touch. And I failed.

I know from before that it does get easier  I'm looking forward to that.

Between now and then, I plan to recommit every single day and make that commitment public every single day.

By staying here...

[Nolaq]

Yea, man, that's some funny stuff right there, yuk, yuk, yuk.

Too bad you couldn't have made that list up before you caved.

Oh, and you will struggle...it's coming...so you might want to keep this shit close to your chest funny man.

Just so you know, having a sense of humor isn't why I failed the first time.

I'm aware of what caused me to fail the first time and my intention to see this through is as genuine as it can be.

And I'll keep coming here and posting my thoughts.

Clearly because it helps me to do so, and not because you'll find them entertaining.

I've been thinking a LOT about you and your return, so let me clear the air before we go too far along, and when I say that this is JUST becoming clear to me, I mean in like the past 2 minutes.

I'm fucking pissed at you. I took your cave very, very hard.

I'm pissed like a wife who just found out her husband was cheating on her when he went out to his Friday night poker game, only to tell her he's sorry, but keeps going out to his Friday night poker game.

I find your humor fucking hysterical, but you know what? Too soon.

Yea, I said it, and I think there are others who are thinking it. Too fucking soon.

When I read your schtick now, I see no remorse. I see that older guy who never stopped going to high school parties on weekends. You know, the guy who never left his shitty town, maybe he was the football captain and hero, but now he's 28, and works at the Dollar Store, but LOVES the attention he gets when he crashes the weekend 'rager' and relives the glory days? Maybe he even buys the booze.

Now you say you've got your head and your ass wired right this time. It's just too soon for me to be convinced 'just cuz you say so'.

So excuse me for not jumping up and down and telling you how happy I am to have your shit back. Cuz while I'm VERY happy you're back, I'm going to be pissed for a long, long time.

And you get no slack from me.

And, I'll tell you something else - I've kept my fingers off the keyboard as much as I can, but today was too much.

I'm not in the least going to discourage you from posting your thoughts here, you are free too, just as I am free to comment on them; however, you will not start a new topic when the wind blows. I think you've been trying to guard your image, and hide what happened. There will be no your image before, during, or after your cave.

Yep, I've been merging them. Don't get all butt hurt over it. This is your intro page, and it's not better than mine.

[wastepanel]

Yea, man, that's some funny stuff right there, yuk, yuk, yuk.

Too bad you couldn't have made that list up before you caved.

Oh, and you will struggle...it's coming...so you might want to keep this shit close to your chest funny man.

Just so you know, having a sense of humor isn't why I failed the first time.

I'm aware of what caused me to fail the first time and my intention to see this through is as genuine as it can be.

And I'll keep coming here and posting my thoughts.

Clearly because it helps me to do so, and not because you'll find them entertaining.

So what are you doing differently this time SWJ?

[Grizzly25]

Yea, man, that's some funny stuff right there, yuk, yuk, yuk.

Too bad you couldn't have made that list up before you caved.

Oh, and you will struggle...it's coming...so you might want to keep this shit close to your chest funny man.

Just so you know, having a sense of humor isn't why I failed the first time.

I'm aware of what caused me to fail the first time and my intention to see this through is as genuine as it can be.

And I'll keep coming here and posting my thoughts.

Clearly because it helps me to do so, and not because you'll find them entertaining.

Keep your crazy entertaining thought comming if this is part of your release great for you and all of us who read these random thoughts of awesomness!