500 Days. I don't have time for a huge update, but I'm pretty proud of this milestone.
I want to speak to the folks who cruise these Intros and think about quitting. Freedom is achievable and it is worth it. Quitting seems like this big, scary thing, something that you can't succeed at because you're somehow different or your circumstances make it tougher for you. You aren't. Every single one of us thought we couldn't do it at some point. I had basically accepted that dipping would just be the thing that kills me someday - everyone has to die from something right?
From my view on the fifth floor, I can see that all that addict bullshit we tell ourselves is one big lie. Freedom is achievable and it is worth it. Whatever "It" is for you, I can tell you that being a person who doesn't dip anymore is totally, unequivocally worth every minute of It. It's worth the fog, the craves, the lost sleep, the gained weight, the aches, the pains and the "loss." It's worth it because I can enjoy my life not being anchored to some plastic can of carcinogens. It's worth it because I don't always have to keep tabs on the cans hidden around the house. It's worth it because my brain no longer needs some extra substance to enjoy the things I should be able to enjoy on my own. My mood is no longer controlled by my access to a chemical. My health and integrity is no longer the price I have to pay to feel "normal." It's worth it.
It's also achievable. 500 days is stupid to a using addict. There's no frame of reference for what that is. It might as well be 50 years. I'm quit as fuck, but I'm also still very aware that the only reason I made it 500 days is because I actively quit on every single one of them. I know that if I want to be quit for 501 days, I need to stay actively quit. At this point it requires less vigilance and less work, but it still requires vigilance and work. Making that promise every day and keeping it. That keeps me quit today and it will keep me quit tomorrow. There's nothing special about me. I did it because I dug into the system here and made it work for me. The only difference between me and the people who come here and fail is that I picked up and used the tools available here and they chose not to. It's a simple choice. Get with the program and Quit, or don't get with the program and good luck on your own.
Thank you to all of the folks who have been a supportive force. There's always a focus on the negativity that can happen here, but the fact is, 99% of the interactions I've had here have been positive or at least constructive. This is a community of hard ass, quit as fuck, SOBs - that will drop everything to pick you up. If you put in, you will get back tenfold. Thank you all for helping to take me this far. Keep on quitting, stay focused and move forward.