Finally going to do this...

[omahaflyer]

You sir, cast a giant shadow with your attitude about life. Give yourself a well deserved pat on the back from me. Nice Job !

Now join me, and KTC tomorrow when we quit again.

[Its_Got2Happen]

HOF day kinda sucked in all regards except gaining that status.  I'm a proud quitter regardless.  Bleekerdogs, CB-Man, Guido, and Gonzo, I'm proud to join with you today.  Even prouder to join with those that joined before me. 

HOF day was a shitty day for me, but it had nothing to do with dip.  It was just shitty.  I go to bed proud, however, that it was one shitty day in a new lifetime of freedom.  For everybody that has supported me vocally, I thank you (and I'll do better than that when I have time to write a speech.)  For those who never expressed their support, I know from the makeup of this site that you supported me and everybody else that has ever sought the freedom this site affords, even if your support was silent.  This brotherhood does not need to voice its support to be recognizable. 

Today was a bad day in real life but an awesome day to be quit.  Tomorrow will be better.

I love my new attitude on life.  It wasn't there 100 days ago.  We quit here, and we gain a brand new life.  Frankly, I love even the shitty days because I know feeding my addiction would only make them shittier.  I quit with thousands of you today because thousands of you quit with me. 

And yes, I cried when I wrote that.  I'll need a good bit of terry cloth when I write my speech. 

QUITTING ROCKS, PEOPLE!!!  Where else in this world can you really ever hope to achieve Hall of Fame status while being famous only to those that love you?  Quit nicotine and you are a Hall of Famer in the eyes of the people that understand what that really means. 

Quitters are real life Hall of Famers.  Glad I'm one of them.

Well, congrats on the HOF. The place of champions. Its a well deserved crown, you now wear.

Sounds like you had a shitty day. Hopefully over the past 100 days you've learned that they happen. Nic related or not life is gonna throw some shit at you.

Not everything in life is dip related...remember that. I had and still have a hard time with that fact.

I still give it too much credit. I have to remember my world no longer orbits around a tin. I killed the can.

Some days life kicks me in the balls and I think to myself "stupid kodiak". But now I catch myself. I think, "why am I even bringing that shit into the equation? I haven't used it in 10 months, I have no craving for it, and it has nothing to do with anything "

I used it as a crutch when I was chin dipping like a moron and even though I haven't used it in 334 days I use it as a crutch when I don't feel well or I have a bad day.

Everyday life does not know dip exists. We MADE it a part of everyday life. That was easy. Now we have to remind ourselves that sometimes life just happens and not every day will be great just because we quit. That's been the hard part for me.

Anyway ...I'm rambling. GREAT JOB ON THE HOF. Hope you have a better day tomorrow. I have a feeling you will.

Congrats Dlee, proud to be quit you. I agree with diesel, we have shitty days and we have to take them along with the good. As a former nic user you just have to train yourself how to deal with stress and turmoil without the fix. The dip never made your problems better, it only made you feel better.....................for about 30 min. Then you had to throw another one in. That is the lie man, that is the addiction.

In my adult life I never learned to experience emotions without the influence of nicotine. This has been the hardest part, (outside of the suck). Give it some time friend.

We have started on a great path, and I believe we conquered the steepest hill in the journey, (the first 100 days). I expect bumps and challenge on the journey to 2nd floor but now that we are becoming experts I expect it to be far easier. See you on the roll.

[Diesel2112]

HOF day kinda sucked in all regards except gaining that status. I'm a proud quitter regardless. Bleekerdogs, CB-Man, Guido, and Gonzo, I'm proud to join with you today. Even prouder to join with those that joined before me.

HOF day was a shitty day for me, but it had nothing to do with dip. It was just shitty. I go to bed proud, however, that it was one shitty day in a new lifetime of freedom. For everybody that has supported me vocally, I thank you (and I'll do better than that when I have time to write a speech.) For those who never expressed their support, I know from the makeup of this site that you supported me and everybody else that has ever sought the freedom this site affords, even if your support was silent. This brotherhood does not need to voice its support to be recognizable.

Today was a bad day in real life but an awesome day to be quit. Tomorrow will be better.

I love my new attitude on life. It wasn't there 100 days ago. We quit here, and we gain a brand new life. Frankly, I love even the shitty days because I know feeding my addiction would only make them shittier. I quit with thousands of you today because thousands of you quit with me.

And yes, I cried when I wrote that. I'll need a good bit of terry cloth when I write my speech.

QUITTING ROCKS, PEOPLE!!! Where else in this world can you really ever hope to achieve Hall of Fame status while being famous only to those that love you? Quit nicotine and you are a Hall of Famer in the eyes of the people that understand what that really means.

Quitters are real life Hall of Famers. Glad I'm one of them.

Well, congrats on the HOF. The place of champions. Its a well deserved crown, you now wear.

Sounds like you had a shitty day. Hopefully over the past 100 days you've learned that they happen. Nic related or not life is gonna throw some shit at you.

Not everything in life is dip related...remember that. I had and still have a hard time with that fact.

I still give it too much credit. I have to remember my world no longer orbits around a tin. I killed the can.

Some days life kicks me in the balls and I think to myself "stupid kodiak". But now I catch myself. I think, "why am I even bringing that shit into the equation? I haven't used it in 10 months, I have no craving for it, and it has nothing to do with anything "

I used it as a crutch when I was chin dipping like a moron and even though I haven't used it in 334 days I use it as a crutch when I don't feel well or I have a bad day.

Everyday life does not know dip exists. We MADE it a part of everyday life. That was easy. Now we have to remind ourselves that sometimes life just happens and not every day will be great just because we quit. That's been the hard part for me.

Anyway ...I'm rambling. GREAT JOB ON THE HOF. Hope you have a better day tomorrow. I have a feeling you will.

[Dlee3]

HOF day kinda sucked in all regards except gaining that status. I'm a proud quitter regardless. Bleekerdogs, CB-Man, Guido, and Gonzo, I'm proud to join with you today. Even prouder to join with those that joined before me.

HOF day was a shitty day for me, but it had nothing to do with dip. It was just shitty. I go to bed proud, however, that it was one shitty day in a new lifetime of freedom. For everybody that has supported me vocally, I thank you (and I'll do better than that when I have time to write a speech.) For those who never expressed their support, I know from the makeup of this site that you supported me and everybody else that has ever sought the freedom this site affords, even if your support was silent. This brotherhood does not need to voice its support to be recognizable.

Today was a bad day in real life but an awesome day to be quit. Tomorrow will be better.

I love my new attitude on life. It wasn't there 100 days ago. We quit here, and we gain a brand new life. Frankly, I love even the shitty days because I know feeding my addiction would only make them shittier. I quit with thousands of you today because thousands of you quit with me.

And yes, I cried when I wrote that. I'll need a good bit of terry cloth when I write my speech.

QUITTING ROCKS, PEOPLE!!! Where else in this world can you really ever hope to achieve Hall of Fame status while being famous only to those that love you? Quit nicotine and you are a Hall of Famer in the eyes of the people that understand what that really means.

Quitters are real life Hall of Famers. Glad I'm one of them.

[Screw_the_Chew]

I know I've seen this somewhere on this site before, but in conversation today a friend asked me why it took me so long to start sleeping well. It was all the shit in dip, I said, but to prove it I quickly found this. This is good for all of us, but I did this for the newbs.

What are the ingredients in smokeless tobacco?

• Polonium 210 (nuclear waste)

• N-Nitrosamines (cancer-causing)

• Formaldehyde (embalming fluid)

• Nicotine (addictive drug)

• Cadmium (used in batteries and nuclear reactor shields)

• Cyanide (poisonous compound)

• Arsenic (poisonous metallic element)

• Benzene (used in insecticides and motor fuels)

• Lead (nerve poison)

'Nuff said, I presume.

Holly shit man. I knew it had some nasty stuff in it but what the fuck. If only they were required to put the ingredients on the tin.......why are the tobacco companies allowed to get away with it??

It's funny you mention taking a long time to start sleeping well.........since being off smokeless tobacco, I have haven't slept so good since before starting the shit back in high school.

[05wrxing]

I know I've seen this somewhere on this site before, but in conversation today a friend asked me why it took me so long to start sleeping well.  It was all the shit in dip, I said, but to prove it I quickly found this.  This is good for all of us, but I did this for the newbs.

What are the ingredients in smokeless tobacco?

• Polonium 210 (nuclear waste)

• N-Nitrosamines (cancer-causing)

• Formaldehyde (embalming fluid)

• Nicotine (addictive drug)

• Cadmium (used in batteries and nuclear reactor shields)

• Cyanide (poisonous compound)

• Arsenic (poisonous metallic element)

• Benzene (used in insecticides and motor fuels)

• Lead (nerve poison)

'Nuff said, I presume.

Damn, I have never saw that before. Its a wonder this stuff didn't kill us after just a few dips. If they put those ingredients on the side of the can it may deture some people from ever using.

[Dlee3]

I know I've seen this somewhere on this site before, but in conversation today a friend asked me why it took me so long to start sleeping well. It was all the shit in dip, I said, but to prove it I quickly found this. This is good for all of us, but I did this for the newbs.

What are the ingredients in smokeless tobacco?

• Polonium 210 (nuclear waste)

• N-Nitrosamines (cancer-causing)

• Formaldehyde (embalming fluid)

• Nicotine (addictive drug)

• Cadmium (used in batteries and nuclear reactor shields)

• Cyanide (poisonous compound)

• Arsenic (poisonous metallic element)

• Benzene (used in insecticides and motor fuels)

• Lead (nerve poison)

'Nuff said, I presume.

[Dlee3]

Pre-HOF funk...  Yes, I knew what it was and I knew how to fight it, but I wanted to put what happened tonight into my intro.

Tonight my parents made good on a promise (for her birthday) to let the kid spend the night on a weeknight, feed her breakfast, take her to the bus tomorrow morning, etc. 

But damn it was a funk for me.  Funk = Crave.  Too much time on my hands and nothing to do with it.

I was without child from 6 pm til bedtime and it was the first time that a sleepover for the kid really, really sucked for me.  I tried to change my mindset to one that resembled those from the first 93 days, but it was NOT happening for a while. 

After 93 days, this was my biggest funk, and it came a week before I hit the hall.  Remember that newbies.  Funks DO NOT END. 

The question for me:  What caused it?  Time alone?  Check.  Housework taking precedence over fun TV watching?  Check.  Reality of addiction?  Check.

These first 93 days were almost too easy for me.  I knew it would crash on me at some point.  I'm good now.  I've spent the last three or four hours trying my damnedest to fight against something that hadn't put up a good fight for weeks.

Tonight sucked, but I won.  But I've spent the last few minutes putting that fight into words so I could read it at some point down the road.  I didn't think it possible at this point to crave so badly.  I was proved wrong tonight, even after reading all these stories of cravings well past my quit.  But, like everything else, I questioned why it happened now.

I think it started with me questioning whether or not something I value so completely (the HOF speech) needed to be written at 100 days.

A few days later, one of my earliest supporters and absolute BAD ASS quitter admitted to an addictive crave (but did not cave.) 

Put that together with one of the first nights that I have nothing on deadline, that impending benchmark that is the HOF, those idle hands, and that vet that craved when I didn't expect it, and you get the crave of a pre-HOFer. 

For the first time in weeks, I felt like an addict.  This shit has been too easy for a while.  I see it differently now.  Sixteen years an addict does not erase in 93 days. 

Tonight I feel like I did in the first ten days of my quit, but I succeeded then and I WILL succeed now.  Stay strong, quitters!!

I was climbing up the walls the first weekend I was all by myself in the house. I ended up having to really buckle down and take it minute by minute at times. I hadn't felt like that since Day 4 or 5! The mere fact that you came here to talk about your difficulties tells me that you are going to be just fine. Craves suck, but they will only get easier to deal with. Every victory makes you stronger.

Thanks for posting Dlee3. Speaking the truth man. Congrats on a great victory. I quit with you all day long.

Good stuff Dlee3,

You have the tools and you're using them!!! Way to go brother!! 'bang head'

Re-wiring takes awhile. I personally don't care if my re-wiring takes the rest of my life, NAFAR!!!

I'll quit today with your funk Sir!! 'zombie'

I quit with you too! Way to handle that craving.

good shit...

Honesty with our weaknesses can really help everyone out. The important thing was you stayed quit! good job

Thanks for the kudos, guys. I LOVE this damn site.

I'll clarify that this was NOT the first night I have had time on my hands and been alone. Dear Lord! A single daddy going 93 days (now 94, yay) without the kid out of the house would have nearly assured a cave. I would go mad without sleepovers. Instead, last night was the first night I had absolutely nothing to do but housework that could have been put off. I know why it happened (I'll always be an addict,) but it was a really shitty night.

So today my parents got my kid on the bus and I basically met her at school for her field trip. I was with 150 screaming kids from 8:30 this morning until 8:00 tonight. Three months ago that ended with a much-needed dip.

Tonight I was unable to crave or cave. I'm too freaking tired to crave anything but sleep. Tonight I crave the freedom I worked so hard for: the freedom to go get in bed and read myself to sleep.

More than that, last night and today reinvigorated my perspective. Amongst all the chaos of 150 kids, I actually had the type of fun that comes with being a quitter. I was with my daughter, after all.

Thanks for posting roll for me, Evil.

[DanNoCan]

Pre-HOF funk...  Yes, I knew what it was and I knew how to fight it, but I wanted to put what happened tonight into my intro.

Tonight my parents made good on a promise (for her birthday) to let the kid spend the night on a weeknight, feed her breakfast, take her to the bus tomorrow morning, etc. 

But damn it was a funk for me.  Funk = Crave.  Too much time on my hands and nothing to do with it.

I was without child from 6 pm til bedtime and it was the first time that a sleepover for the kid really, really sucked for me.  I tried to change my mindset to one that resembled those from the first 93 days, but it was NOT happening for a while. 

After 93 days, this was my biggest funk, and it came a week before I hit the hall.  Remember that newbies.  Funks DO NOT END. 

The question for me:  What caused it?  Time alone?  Check.  Housework taking precedence over fun TV watching?  Check.  Reality of addiction?  Check.

These first 93 days were almost too easy for me.  I knew it would crash on me at some point.  I'm good now.  I've spent the last three or four hours trying my damnedest to fight against something that hadn't put up a good fight for weeks.

Tonight sucked, but I won.  But I've spent the last few minutes putting that fight into words so I could read it at some point down the road.  I didn't think it possible at this point to crave so badly.  I was proved wrong tonight, even after reading all these stories of cravings well past my quit.  But, like everything else, I questioned why it happened now.

I think it started with me questioning whether or not something I value so completely (the HOF speech) needed to be written at 100 days.

A few days later, one of my earliest supporters and absolute BAD ASS quitter admitted to an addictive crave (but did not cave.) 

Put that together with one of the first nights that I have nothing on deadline, that impending benchmark that is the HOF, those idle hands, and that vet that craved when I didn't expect it, and you get the crave of a pre-HOFer. 

For the first time in weeks, I felt like an addict.  This shit has been too easy for a while.  I see it differently now.  Sixteen years an addict does not erase in 93 days. 

Tonight I feel like I did in the first ten days of my quit, but I succeeded then and I WILL succeed now.  Stay strong, quitters!!

I was climbing up the walls the first weekend I was all by myself in the house. I ended up having to really buckle down and take it minute by minute at times. I hadn't felt like that since Day 4 or 5! The mere fact that you came here to talk about your difficulties tells me that you are going to be just fine. Craves suck, but they will only get easier to deal with. Every victory makes you stronger.

Thanks for posting Dlee3. Speaking the truth man. Congrats on a great victory. I quit with you all day long.

Good stuff Dlee3,

You have the tools and you're using them!!! Way to go brother!! 'bang head'

Re-wiring takes awhile. I personally don't care if my re-wiring takes the rest of my life, NAFAR!!!

I'll quit today with your funk Sir!! 'zombie'

I quit with you too! Way to handle that craving.

good shit...

Honesty with our weaknesses can really help everyone out. The important thing was you stayed quit! good job

[Wt57]

Pre-HOF funk...  Yes, I knew what it was and I knew how to fight it, but I wanted to put what happened tonight into my intro.

Tonight my parents made good on a promise (for her birthday) to let the kid spend the night on a weeknight, feed her breakfast, take her to the bus tomorrow morning, etc. 

But damn it was a funk for me.  Funk = Crave.  Too much time on my hands and nothing to do with it.

I was without child from 6 pm til bedtime and it was the first time that a sleepover for the kid really, really sucked for me.  I tried to change my mindset to one that resembled those from the first 93 days, but it was NOT happening for a while. 

After 93 days, this was my biggest funk, and it came a week before I hit the hall.  Remember that newbies.  Funks DO NOT END. 

The question for me:  What caused it?  Time alone?  Check.  Housework taking precedence over fun TV watching?  Check.  Reality of addiction?  Check.

These first 93 days were almost too easy for me.  I knew it would crash on me at some point.  I'm good now.  I've spent the last three or four hours trying my damnedest to fight against something that hadn't put up a good fight for weeks.

Tonight sucked, but I won.  But I've spent the last few minutes putting that fight into words so I could read it at some point down the road.  I didn't think it possible at this point to crave so badly.  I was proved wrong tonight, even after reading all these stories of cravings well past my quit.  But, like everything else, I questioned why it happened now.

I think it started with me questioning whether or not something I value so completely (the HOF speech) needed to be written at 100 days.

A few days later, one of my earliest supporters and absolute BAD ASS quitter admitted to an addictive crave (but did not cave.) 

Put that together with one of the first nights that I have nothing on deadline, that impending benchmark that is the HOF, those idle hands, and that vet that craved when I didn't expect it, and you get the crave of a pre-HOFer. 

For the first time in weeks, I felt like an addict.  This shit has been too easy for a while.  I see it differently now.  Sixteen years an addict does not erase in 93 days. 

Tonight I feel like I did in the first ten days of my quit, but I succeeded then and I WILL succeed now.  Stay strong, quitters!!

I was climbing up the walls the first weekend I was all by myself in the house. I ended up having to really buckle down and take it minute by minute at times. I hadn't felt like that since Day 4 or 5! The mere fact that you came here to talk about your difficulties tells me that you are going to be just fine. Craves suck, but they will only get easier to deal with. Every victory makes you stronger.

Thanks for posting Dlee3. Speaking the truth man. Congrats on a great victory. I quit with you all day long.

Good stuff Dlee3,

You have the tools and you're using them!!! Way to go brother!! 'bang head'

Re-wiring takes awhile. I personally don't care if my re-wiring takes the rest of my life, NAFAR!!!

I'll quit today with your funk Sir!! 'zombie'

I quit with you too! Way to handle that craving.

[30isEnuff]

Pre-HOF funk...  Yes, I knew what it was and I knew how to fight it, but I wanted to put what happened tonight into my intro.

Tonight my parents made good on a promise (for her birthday) to let the kid spend the night on a weeknight, feed her breakfast, take her to the bus tomorrow morning, etc. 

But damn it was a funk for me.  Funk = Crave.  Too much time on my hands and nothing to do with it.

I was without child from 6 pm til bedtime and it was the first time that a sleepover for the kid really, really sucked for me.  I tried to change my mindset to one that resembled those from the first 93 days, but it was NOT happening for a while. 

After 93 days, this was my biggest funk, and it came a week before I hit the hall.  Remember that newbies.  Funks DO NOT END. 

The question for me:  What caused it?  Time alone?  Check.  Housework taking precedence over fun TV watching?  Check.  Reality of addiction?  Check.

These first 93 days were almost too easy for me.  I knew it would crash on me at some point.  I'm good now.  I've spent the last three or four hours trying my damnedest to fight against something that hadn't put up a good fight for weeks.

Tonight sucked, but I won.  But I've spent the last few minutes putting that fight into words so I could read it at some point down the road.  I didn't think it possible at this point to crave so badly.  I was proved wrong tonight, even after reading all these stories of cravings well past my quit.  But, like everything else, I questioned why it happened now.

I think it started with me questioning whether or not something I value so completely (the HOF speech) needed to be written at 100 days.

A few days later, one of my earliest supporters and absolute BAD ASS quitter admitted to an addictive crave (but did not cave.) 

Put that together with one of the first nights that I have nothing on deadline, that impending benchmark that is the HOF, those idle hands, and that vet that craved when I didn't expect it, and you get the crave of a pre-HOFer. 

For the first time in weeks, I felt like an addict.  This shit has been too easy for a while.  I see it differently now.  Sixteen years an addict does not erase in 93 days. 

Tonight I feel like I did in the first ten days of my quit, but I succeeded then and I WILL succeed now.  Stay strong, quitters!!

I was climbing up the walls the first weekend I was all by myself in the house. I ended up having to really buckle down and take it minute by minute at times. I hadn't felt like that since Day 4 or 5! The mere fact that you came here to talk about your difficulties tells me that you are going to be just fine. Craves suck, but they will only get easier to deal with. Every victory makes you stronger.

Thanks for posting Dlee3. Speaking the truth man. Congrats on a great victory. I quit with you all day long.

Good stuff Dlee3,

You have the tools and you're using them!!! Way to go brother!! 'bang head'

Re-wiring takes awhile. I personally don't care if my re-wiring takes the rest of my life, NAFAR!!!

I'll quit today with your funk Sir!! 'zombie'

[Its_Got2Happen]

Pre-HOF funk...  Yes, I knew what it was and I knew how to fight it, but I wanted to put what happened tonight into my intro.

Tonight my parents made good on a promise (for her birthday) to let the kid spend the night on a weeknight, feed her breakfast, take her to the bus tomorrow morning, etc. 

But damn it was a funk for me.  Funk = Crave.  Too much time on my hands and nothing to do with it.

I was without child from 6 pm til bedtime and it was the first time that a sleepover for the kid really, really sucked for me.  I tried to change my mindset to one that resembled those from the first 93 days, but it was NOT happening for a while. 

After 93 days, this was my biggest funk, and it came a week before I hit the hall.  Remember that newbies.  Funks DO NOT END. 

The question for me:  What caused it?  Time alone?  Check.  Housework taking precedence over fun TV watching?  Check.  Reality of addiction?  Check.

These first 93 days were almost too easy for me.  I knew it would crash on me at some point.  I'm good now.  I've spent the last three or four hours trying my damnedest to fight against something that hadn't put up a good fight for weeks.

Tonight sucked, but I won.  But I've spent the last few minutes putting that fight into words so I could read it at some point down the road.  I didn't think it possible at this point to crave so badly.  I was proved wrong tonight, even after reading all these stories of cravings well past my quit.  But, like everything else, I questioned why it happened now.

I think it started with me questioning whether or not something I value so completely (the HOF speech) needed to be written at 100 days.

A few days later, one of my earliest supporters and absolute BAD ASS quitter admitted to an addictive crave (but did not cave.) 

Put that together with one of the first nights that I have nothing on deadline, that impending benchmark that is the HOF, those idle hands, and that vet that craved when I didn't expect it, and you get the crave of a pre-HOFer. 

For the first time in weeks, I felt like an addict.  This shit has been too easy for a while.  I see it differently now.  Sixteen years an addict does not erase in 93 days. 

Tonight I feel like I did in the first ten days of my quit, but I succeeded then and I WILL succeed now.  Stay strong, quitters!!

I was climbing up the walls the first weekend I was all by myself in the house. I ended up having to really buckle down and take it minute by minute at times. I hadn't felt like that since Day 4 or 5! The mere fact that you came here to talk about your difficulties tells me that you are going to be just fine. Craves suck, but they will only get easier to deal with. Every victory makes you stronger.

Thanks for posting Dlee3. Speaking the truth man. Congrats on a great victory. I quit with you all day long.

[Tsmith17]

Pre-HOF funk... Yes, I knew what it was and I knew how to fight it, but I wanted to put what happened tonight into my intro.

Tonight my parents made good on a promise (for her birthday) to let the kid spend the night on a weeknight, feed her breakfast, take her to the bus tomorrow morning, etc.

But damn it was a funk for me. Funk = Crave. Too much time on my hands and nothing to do with it.

I was without child from 6 pm til bedtime and it was the first time that a sleepover for the kid really, really sucked for me. I tried to change my mindset to one that resembled those from the first 93 days, but it was NOT happening for a while.

After 93 days, this was my biggest funk, and it came a week before I hit the hall. Remember that newbies. Funks DO NOT END.

The question for me: What caused it? Time alone? Check. Housework taking precedence over fun TV watching? Check. Reality of addiction? Check.

These first 93 days were almost too easy for me. I knew it would crash on me at some point. I'm good now. I've spent the last three or four hours trying my damnedest to fight against something that hadn't put up a good fight for weeks.

Tonight sucked, but I won. But I've spent the last few minutes putting that fight into words so I could read it at some point down the road. I didn't think it possible at this point to crave so badly. I was proved wrong tonight, even after reading all these stories of cravings well past my quit. But, like everything else, I questioned why it happened now.

I think it started with me questioning whether or not something I value so completely (the HOF speech) needed to be written at 100 days.

A few days later, one of my earliest supporters and absolute BAD ASS quitter admitted to an addictive crave (but did not cave.)

Put that together with one of the first nights that I have nothing on deadline, that impending benchmark that is the HOF, those idle hands, and that vet that craved when I didn't expect it, and you get the crave of a pre-HOFer.

For the first time in weeks, I felt like an addict. This shit has been too easy for a while. I see it differently now. Sixteen years an addict does not erase in 93 days.

Tonight I feel like I did in the first ten days of my quit, but I succeeded then and I WILL succeed now. Stay strong, quitters!!

I was climbing up the walls the first weekend I was all by myself in the house. I ended up having to really buckle down and take it minute by minute at times. I hadn't felt like that since Day 4 or 5! The mere fact that you came here to talk about your difficulties tells me that you are going to be just fine. Craves suck, but they will only get easier to deal with. Every victory makes you stronger.

[Dlee3]

Pre-HOF funk... Yes, I knew what it was and I knew how to fight it, but I wanted to put what happened tonight into my intro.

Tonight my parents made good on a promise (for her birthday) to let the kid spend the night on a weeknight, feed her breakfast, take her to the bus tomorrow morning, etc.

But damn it was a funk for me. Funk = Crave. Too much time on my hands and nothing to do with it.

I was without child from 6 pm til bedtime and it was the first time that a sleepover for the kid really, really sucked for me. I tried to change my mindset to one that resembled those from the first 93 days, but it was NOT happening for a while.

After 93 days, this was my biggest funk, and it came a week before I hit the hall. Remember that newbies. Funks DO NOT END.

The question for me: What caused it? Time alone? Check. Housework taking precedence over fun TV watching? Check. Reality of addiction? Check.

These first 93 days were almost too easy for me. I knew it would crash on me at some point. I'm good now. I've spent the last three or four hours trying my damnedest to fight against something that hadn't put up a good fight for weeks.

Tonight sucked, but I won. But I've spent the last few minutes putting that fight into words so I could read it at some point down the road. I didn't think it possible at this point to crave so badly. I was proved wrong tonight, even after reading all these stories of cravings well past my quit. But, like everything else, I questioned why it happened now.

I think it started with me questioning whether or not something I value so completely (the HOF speech) needed to be written at 100 days.

A few days later, one of my earliest supporters and absolute BAD ASS quitter admitted to an addictive crave (but did not cave.)

Put that together with one of the first nights that I have nothing on deadline, that impending benchmark that is the HOF, those idle hands, and that vet that craved when I didn't expect it, and you get the crave of a pre-HOFer.

For the first time in weeks, I felt like an addict. This shit has been too easy for a while. I see it differently now. Sixteen years an addict does not erase in 93 days.

Tonight I feel like I did in the first ten days of my quit, but I succeeded then and I WILL succeed now. Stay strong, quitters!!

[Dlee3]

Yep, I am indeed a dipshit. So thankful every damn day that I'm in the company of other dipshits.

After reading all of these replies (thanks for that,) I think I failed to consider, as Diesel said, "the structure of this site." I've thought about this all day. HOF here means something different than a freaking sports HOF. It's part of the journey; it's part of the backbone of how things are done here. Who am I to disagree with something so many have used to find success in quitting?

Another thing I failed to consider was the value in looking back for months and years to reread that raw emotion that came with that first 100 days. I wholeheartedly see the value in that. HOFers in sports are done with their careers when awarded that status. We're literally never going to stop being quitters in order to maintain our HOF status.

In other words, I guess it comes with the pressure tsmith talked about, the struggle jbradley talked about, the accomplishment and reflection smokeyg talked about, and pretty much everything Diesel and WT said. What I got from all of that was that basically, like quitting itself, I'm still doing this for ME. If anybody reads my speech and it helps them, great, but I can't make anybody else quit. I was seeing this speech as a way of possibly helping others quit, and if that happens I'll be ecstatic, but this speech is for me. You guys helped me see that.

I'm now looking forward to it. I wrote about my wife in a journal for about a year after she died so that my daughter would somehow "know" her mother. Since then I've written in it every couple of months when I remember something I want my daughter to know. But I did all of that for her. This speech is for me. A lot of it will probably be about what she and fatherhood mean to me, but I need to finally sit down and write this for me. She never knew she lost me because I was always here, but I was lost before she was ever born.

I will finally write this speech in eleven days, when I am a KTC Hall of Famer. Thanks guys!!