Oldschool introduction

[oldschool]

517 Days Nicotine Free!

Dropping like flies.... Quite a few quitters leaving KTC recently.  I, too, have pondered that question:  When do I stop posting my daily promise?

What pisses me off, quite frankly, are the quitters who "forget" to post roll. The quitters who post roll late.  The quitters who post and ghost and don't help with accountability.  The quitters who just care about themselves.  The quitters who get mad when they get called out.  The quitters who signed up to be apart of this community yet do everything possible to not take part in what makes this quitting process work.  It is demoralizing to me.  If you don't want to be in KTC, why are you here screwing with other people's quit?  Why can't you just post your promise as early in the day possible so other quitters don't have to waste there time tracking you down?

My wife and I had a date night last night.  Conversation turned to how well I have been managing my withdrawal symptoms.  We talked about how this site has helped me, and how I have tried (in my small way) to pay it forward.  We even talked about when will I not need to do this anymore.  The answer to that question, for me, is I do not know when I will stop posting.  I can't think that far into the future.  I can't let my addict mind try to convince me that I am cured.  Even though I feel so much better and don't think about nicotine all that much anymore, I know that I still do think about it - especially when i don't expect it.  I know that even though my withdrawal symptoms are not as intense they are still there, lurking, in the shadows.  I think that is the problem for me; I know how easy it would be for me to start using again.  Yes, I hate nicotine to my core.  Yes, I hate the process of dipping - the spit, the mess, the stink, the everything.  Despite all of the hate, I know there is a chance that I could be weak enough, stupid enough, or desperate enough to use nicotine again.

So, I posted my promise today as soon as I woke up.  The plan is to post tomorrow.  I haven't really thought much farther than that.

oldschool
Still quit.  Still free.

[Sand44]

480 Days Nicotine Free!


Still not really "feeling it".  Press on.

Maybe winter blues?  Move forward.

Feeling the effects of no sugar sweets since 2019?  Yes.  Deal with it.

One good thing I was able to do:  I encouraged and motivated a co-worker to quit nicotine.  This person waffled for so long and was so afraid of quitting that I thought she would back out.  I finally asked her would she rather have withdrawal symptoms and cravings every hour?  Or, would she rather feel like shit for a short time and start the road to being a healthier person?  She finally took the plunge, and it was interesting to see her go through the withdrawal stages.  Her first week was tough, but her excitement and good planning got her through.  This week is her third week, and like me, this has been a rough week for her.  She realized that she was not dealing with people that well, and came and talked to me about how to power through.  One day she asked if she could go home because she just couldn't deal with anything.  Of course, I said yes.  I am lucky that I am in a leadership position where I can shape a positive culture at work where work life balance is a value.  I wish my boss would have been there for me and more understanding during my difficult times last year....

I am definitely a work in progress.  I still have to figure out how to reduce stress.  I appreciate the people who are patient with me.

Still quit.  Still Free.

You rock Rich. Keep kicking ass and leading the way.

This right here ^^^ keep doing what you're doing. It continues to get better. Stay strong stay quit brother

Badass! Get her on roll!

Hard to believe we’re coming up on 500 days...couldn’t of done it without you Rich! What a rollercoaster.. 

[69franx]

480 Days Nicotine Free!


Still not really "feeling it".  Press on.

Maybe winter blues?  Move forward.

Feeling the effects of no sugar sweets since 2019?  Yes.  Deal with it.

One good thing I was able to do:  I encouraged and motivated a co-worker to quit nicotine.  This person waffled for so long and was so afraid of quitting that I thought she would back out.  I finally asked her would she rather have withdrawal symptoms and cravings every hour?  Or, would she rather feel like shit for a short time and start the road to being a healthier person?  She finally took the plunge, and it was interesting to see her go through the withdrawal stages.  Her first week was tough, but her excitement and good planning got her through.  This week is her third week, and like me, this has been a rough week for her.  She realized that she was not dealing with people that well, and came and talked to me about how to power through.  One day she asked if she could go home because she just couldn't deal with anything.  Of course, I said yes.  I am lucky that I am in a leadership position where I can shape a positive culture at work where work life balance is a value.  I wish my boss would have been there for me and more understanding during my difficult times last year....

I am definitely a work in progress.  I still have to figure out how to reduce stress.  I appreciate the people who are patient with me.

Still quit.  Still Free.

You rock Rich. Keep kicking ass and leading the way.

This right here ^^^ keep doing what you're doing. It continues to get better. Stay strong stay quit brother

[Keith0617]

480 Days Nicotine Free!


Still not really "feeling it".  Press on.

Maybe winter blues?  Move forward.

Feeling the effects of no sugar sweets since 2019?  Yes.  Deal with it.

One good thing I was able to do:  I encouraged and motivated a co-worker to quit nicotine.  This person waffled for so long and was so afraid of quitting that I thought she would back out.  I finally asked her would she rather have withdrawal symptoms and cravings every hour?  Or, would she rather feel like shit for a short time and start the road to being a healthier person?  She finally took the plunge, and it was interesting to see her go through the withdrawal stages.  Her first week was tough, but her excitement and good planning got her through.  This week is her third week, and like me, this has been a rough week for her.  She realized that she was not dealing with people that well, and came and talked to me about how to power through.  One day she asked if she could go home because she just couldn't deal with anything.  Of course, I said yes.  I am lucky that I am in a leadership position where I can shape a positive culture at work where work life balance is a value.  I wish my boss would have been there for me and more understanding during my difficult times last year....

I am definitely a work in progress.  I still have to figure out how to reduce stress.  I appreciate the people who are patient with me.

Still quit.  Still Free.

You rock Rich. Keep kicking ass and leading the way.

[oldschool]

480 Days Nicotine Free!


Still not really "feeling it".  Press on.

Maybe winter blues?  Move forward.

Feeling the effects of no sugar sweets since 2019?  Yes.  Deal with it.

One good thing I was able to do:  I encouraged and motivated a co-worker to quit nicotine.  This person waffled for so long and was so afraid of quitting that I thought she would back out.  I finally asked her would she rather have withdrawal symptoms and cravings every hour?  Or, would she rather feel like shit for a short time and start the road to being a healthier person?  She finally took the plunge, and it was interesting to see her go through the withdrawal stages.  Her first week was tough, but her excitement and good planning got her through.  This week is her third week, and like me, this has been a rough week for her.  She realized that she was not dealing with people that well, and came and talked to me about how to power through.  One day she asked if she could go home because she just couldn't deal with anything.  Of course, I said yes.  I am lucky that I am in a leadership position where I can shape a positive culture at work where work life balance is a value.  I wish my boss would have been there for me and more understanding during my difficult times last year....

I am definitely a work in progress.  I still have to figure out how to reduce stress.  I appreciate the people who are patient with me.

Still quit.  Still Free.

[oldschool]

460 Days Nicotine Free!

I do cherish my quit.  I give my promise everyday that i will remain quit.  The freedom I now experience is because i am quit.  why do I feel so.....meh?

I have been working on family/work/quit life balance, but I haven't found that secret sauce yet.  I think it may be more than that.  Do I make a difference?  Am I adding value?  Where should I put effort in my life?  Am I just burned out?

Not a great blog today...sorry about that.  Still quit.  Still Free.

@oldschool
Feel you brother. I just came out the other side of where you are and you will to. Take a break, rest up, and you will be kicking ass before you know it.

thanks Keith - you have always been there for me - appreciate, man.

[oldschool]

460 Days Nicotine Free!

I do cherish my quit.  I give my promise everyday that i will remain quit.  The freedom I now experience is because i am quit.  why do I feel so.....meh?

I have been working on family/work/quit life balance, but I haven't found that secret sauce yet.  I think it may be more than that.  Do I make a difference?  Am I adding value?  Where should I put effort in my life?  Am I just burned out?

Not a great blog today...sorry about that.  Still quit.  Still Free.

@oldschool
Feel you brother. I just came out the other side of where you are and you will to. Take a break, rest up, and you will be kicking ass before you know it.

For me personally, YES! You’ve both made a HUGE difference. Though I’m not always the best at putting my appreciation into words, I am forever grateful for your time spent being present, giving encouragement, saving me and many others!

thank You @ankape !  I needed that encouragement right now....

[ankape]

460 Days Nicotine Free!

I do cherish my quit.  I give my promise everyday that i will remain quit.  The freedom I now experience is because i am quit.  why do I feel so.....meh?

I have been working on family/work/quit life balance, but I haven't found that secret sauce yet.  I think it may be more than that.  Do I make a difference?  Am I adding value?  Where should I put effort in my life?  Am I just burned out?

Not a great blog today...sorry about that.  Still quit.  Still Free.

@oldschool
Feel you brother. I just came out the other side of where you are and you will to. Take a break, rest up, and you will be kicking ass before you know it.

For me personally, YES! You’ve both made a HUGE difference. Though I’m not always the best at putting my appreciation into words, I am forever grateful for your time spent being present, giving encouragement, saving me and many others!

[Keith0617]

460 Days Nicotine Free!

I do cherish my quit.  I give my promise everyday that i will remain quit.  The freedom I now experience is because i am quit.  why do I feel so.....meh?

I have been working on family/work/quit life balance, but I haven't found that secret sauce yet.  I think it may be more than that.  Do I make a difference?  Am I adding value?  Where should I put effort in my life?  Am I just burned out?

Not a great blog today...sorry about that.  Still quit.  Still Free.

@oldschool
Feel you brother. I just came out the other side of where you are and you will to. Take a break, rest up, and you will be kicking ass before you know it.

[oldschool]

460 Days Nicotine Free!

I do cherish my quit.  I give my promise everyday that i will remain quit.  The freedom I now experience is because i am quit.  why do I feel so.....meh?

I have been working on family/work/quit life balance, but I haven't found that secret sauce yet.  I think it may be more than that.  Do I make a difference?  Am I adding value?  Where should I put effort in my life?  Am I just burned out?

Not a great blog today...sorry about that.  Still quit.  Still Free.

[Ruthless]

440 Days Nicotine Free!

My dear old friend anxiety came back and hung out with me for awhile.  Some friends knock on the door quietly before they come in, but not my friend anxiety.  Oh no!  My friend anxiety knocks so hard the door flies off the hinges hitting me hard, like a freight train hard, square onto my head, back, and shoulders.  I must say with friends like anxiety, I don't have the want or need of any enemies.  I was trying to figure out why anxiety decided to visit as it hasn't come in quite awhile.  I voiced my concerns to my loving (and smarter than me) wife, and she quickly commented:  "Sheesh!  You have had a lot of stressful things happen the last couple of weeks. The big Customer visit with all the VP's and Sales people there.  The injury at work and all of the investigations, conference calls.  Thanksgiving and Christmas preparations.  You did so much!"  She was right - as always.  I was handling the stress until my brain couldn't handle it anymore and then it popped.  My dear friend anxiety decided to visit to let me know that I had to take it easy.  My dear friend anxiety let me know that I needed to learn how to get rid of  stress instead of collecting it and letting it weigh down my brain.  Oh, my dear friend anxiety you do have a painful way of teaching me lessons.

I had a dip dream this morning.  It was a short, relatively disgusting, half asleep half awake kind of dip dream.  Simply stated; I saw myself digging my fingers into an almost empty can of dip. Feverishly trying to get every bit of it onto my fingers so I could shove it into my mouth.  You know the kind of digging, scraping for dip that stains your fingers?  The kind of pinching that leaves tobacco all of your teeth?  The pit of your stomach feeling that you have no more dip and have to buy a can feeling?  Yes, I was disgusted when I had this dream, and thankful and blessed that I have not had this experience in 440 days.  Freedom!

Only the strong can quit.  There is strength in numbers.  Be strong with me.

Thanks for sharing this Rich. I have never struggled with anxiety historically until this past summer. Had one episode of racing heart in June which set off full blown anxiety despite passing an echocardiogram with flying colors. From then on, any ache or pain or slight feeling of discomfort has me feeling like I'm going to die. Add two small kiddos into the equation and the thought of anything happening to me increases the anxiety level. Deep down I know I am healthy and nothing is wrong but the irrational fears linger.

I'm glad to know I'm not in this additional fight alone. I know I need to find ways to stress less. I struggle with OCD and am an intense clean freak. I definitely need to find ways to manage my OCD/stress in a healthy way. ODAAT

Again, thanks for sharing. Damn proud to be quit with you today!

Wow, I could have easily written the exact same response as MNx...I mean exact same!  Anxiety is a fickle beast best handled like quitting; ODAAT.  Proud to quit with you Rich; and I enjoy the daily promises!

[MN_Engineer]

440 Days Nicotine Free!

My dear old friend anxiety came back and hung out with me for awhile.  Some friends knock on the door quietly before they come in, but not my friend anxiety.  Oh no!  My friend anxiety knocks so hard the door flies off the hinges hitting me hard, like a freight train hard, square onto my head, back, and shoulders.  I must say with friends like anxiety, I don't have the want or need of any enemies.  I was trying to figure out why anxiety decided to visit as it hasn't come in quite awhile.  I voiced my concerns to my loving (and smarter than me) wife, and she quickly commented:  "Sheesh!  You have had a lot of stressful things happen the last couple of weeks. The big Customer visit with all the VP's and Sales people there.  The injury at work and all of the investigations, conference calls.  Thanksgiving and Christmas preparations.  You did so much!"  She was right - as always.  I was handling the stress until my brain couldn't handle it anymore and then it popped.  My dear friend anxiety decided to visit to let me know that I had to take it easy.  My dear friend anxiety let me know that I needed to learn how to get rid of  stress instead of collecting it and letting it weigh down my brain.  Oh, my dear friend anxiety you do have a painful way of teaching me lessons.

I had a dip dream this morning.  It was a short, relatively disgusting, half asleep half awake kind of dip dream.  Simply stated; I saw myself digging my fingers into an almost empty can of dip. Feverishly trying to get every bit of it onto my fingers so I could shove it into my mouth.  You know the kind of digging, scraping for dip that stains your fingers?  The kind of pinching that leaves tobacco all of your teeth?  The pit of your stomach feeling that you have no more dip and have to buy a can feeling?  Yes, I was disgusted when I had this dream, and thankful and blessed that I have not had this experience in 440 days.  Freedom!

Only the strong can quit.  There is strength in numbers.  Be strong with me.

Thanks for sharing this Rich. I have never struggled with anxiety historically until this past summer. Had one episode of racing heart in June which set off full blown anxiety despite passing an echocardiogram with flying colors. From then on, any ache or pain or slight feeling of discomfort has me feeling like I'm going to die. Add two small kiddos into the equation and the thought of anything happening to me increases the anxiety level. Deep down I know I am healthy and nothing is wrong but the irrational fears linger.

I'm glad to know I'm not in this additional fight alone. I know I need to find ways to stress less. I struggle with OCD and am an intense clean freak. I definitely need to find ways to manage my OCD/stress in a healthy way. ODAAT

Again, thanks for sharing. Damn proud to be quit with you today!

[Aumegrad]

... My dear old friend anxiety came back and hung out with me for awhile ...

Ahh, the Cousin Eddie of feelings.  Just when you think you have a handle on things, Anxiety shows up on your driveway in a beat down “RV”, both unannounced and uninvited.  Thinking the visit will be fleeting, Anxiety tells you it’ll be around for much longer.  As you try to cope and perhaps identify a way to dispatch the unwanted guest, Anxiety tries to bring his friends fear, depression, and let’s not forget helplessness who was once cross eyed after falling in a well.  However, after getting kicked in the head by a mule ... ok I will stop this analogy now.

Rich, you have touched on a topic that effects us all to varying degrees.  Initially, it was a feeling that could be subdued by our addiction.  Now without that cover, we feel exposed and vulnerable.  But it is all simply that, feelings.  I suppose there are many ways to combat this, however for me, I found my strength to combat this from above (1 Peter 5:6-7 comes to mind).

I appreciate you openly speaking of this Rich.  Anxiety was a struggle early in my quit and for a while, I thought Cousin Eddie only visited me.  Turns out, he is kin to us all.  Knowing this and that I wasn’t unique, it has forced me to work on being a better Aumegrad.  While I am eons from being a “masterpiece”, I know for certain that I am quit!  Appreciate you and the strength you provide me to do so!

Aumegrad 519

[oldschool]

440 Days Nicotine Free!

My dear old friend anxiety came back and hung out with me for awhile.  Some friends knock on the door quietly before they come in, but not my friend anxiety.  Oh no!  My friend anxiety knocks so hard the door flies off the hinges hitting me hard, like a freight train hard, square onto my head, back, and shoulders.  I must say with friends like anxiety, I don't have the want or need of any enemies.  I was trying to figure out why anxiety decided to visit as it hasn't come in quite awhile.  I voiced my concerns to my loving (and smarter than me) wife, and she quickly commented:  "Sheesh!  You have had a lot of stressful things happen the last couple of weeks. The big Customer visit with all the VP's and Sales people there.  The injury at work and all of the investigations, conference calls.  Thanksgiving and Christmas preparations.  You did so much!"  She was right - as always.  I was handling the stress until my brain couldn't handle it anymore and then it popped.  My dear friend anxiety decided to visit to let me know that I had to take it easy.  My dear friend anxiety let me know that I needed to learn how to get rid of  stress instead of collecting it and letting it weigh down my brain.  Oh, my dear friend anxiety you do have a painful way of teaching me lessons.

I had a dip dream this morning.  It was a short, relatively disgusting, half asleep half awake kind of dip dream.  Simply stated; I saw myself digging my fingers into an almost empty can of dip. Feverishly trying to get every bit of it onto my fingers so I could shove it into my mouth.  You know the kind of digging, scraping for dip that stains your fingers?  The kind of pinching that leaves tobacco all of your teeth?  The pit of your stomach feeling that you have no more dip and have to buy a can feeling?  Yes, I was disgusted when I had this dream, and thankful and blessed that I have not had this experience in 440 days.  Freedom!

Only the strong can quit.  There is strength in numbers.  Be strong with me.

[oldschool]

420 day nicotine free!

Thanksgiving was great. I hope yours was too.  For the first time in a long time we stayed home.  Our 13 year old Lab is slowing down and we wanted her to enjoy the Holiday without being boarded, etc.  How great is it that I didn't have to try to sneak a dip?  How great is it that I was able to enjoy my family's company without having a crave or nicotine whispering in my ear every hour?  How great is it that i could drive my parents 2.5 hours back to their house and not worry about stashing a can and gutting a dip?  Thanksgiving was pretty awesome this year.

Advice for the people who are thinking about quitting:  Just quit already.  Do it.  Throw away the cancer.  Quit

Advice for new quitters who may be struggling:  It get better.  You may be tired of fighting your withdrawal symptoms - It gets much better.  You may be thinking that it's easier to dip instead of dealing with withdrawal symptoms ?  Well, that is just nicotine trying desperately to get back into your life.  Would you rather have withdrawal symptoms every hour?  Or would you rather be able to go days without thinking about nicotine?  It get much, much better.  Have faith.  Keep faith.  Surround yourself with people who want to help you stay quit.  Help others stay quit.  I promise, it gets better.

Only the strong can quit.  There is strength in numbers.  Be strong with me.

Freedom!