Oldschool introduction

[Keith0617]

1375 days quit and free.

Seems like yesterday since my last post in my introduction but it has been over 200 days.  I remember thinking how would I ever get to 100 days nicotine free, and now the days just whip on by!  This blog has helped me tremendously over the years.  It was really a relief at times to be able share my thoughts especially in those early difficult days.  I hope that my posts may have helped someone get through a tough time as well.

I visited family in Wisconsin over the July 4th holiday.  It was approaching nightfall and we were getting ready to start a bonfire.  My Brother in-law asked all of us if anyone wanted a cigar.  I immediately declined and said, "I can never have nicotine again."  My wife smiled at me, and I felt empowered.  I still have craves.  I know the damage that nicotine has done to my brain. I know that I don't have that choice anymore.  Stay quit and remain free.

I think it is time to retire my introduction...
oldschool

Appreciate you Rich. Glad to know you are still in my corner @oldschool   

[oldschool]

1375 days quit and free.

Seems like yesterday since my last post in my introduction but it has been over 200 days.  I remember thinking how would I ever get to 100 days nicotine free, and now the days just whip on by!  This blog has helped me tremendously over the years.  It was really a relief at times to be able share my thoughts especially in those early difficult days.  I hope that my posts may have helped someone get through a tough time as well.

I visited family in Wisconsin over the July 4th holiday.  It was approaching nightfall and we were getting ready to start a bonfire.  My Brother in-law asked all of us if anyone wanted a cigar.  I immediately declined and said, "I can never have nicotine again."  My wife smiled at me, and I felt empowered.  I still have craves.  I know the damage that nicotine has done to my brain. I know that I don't have that choice anymore.  Stay quit and remain free.

I think it is time to retire my introduction...
oldschool

[oldschool]

1164 Quit and Free.

If you haven't quit yet and are reading this; Throw that shit out, quit today, and post your promise not to use nicotine.

If you are just recently quit, then hopefully this message might give insight and/or hope.  Early on in my quit it was minute by minute and just fighting to get through the day.  As time went on, withdrawal symptoms would come and go, but front and center was dealing with anxiety (something nicotine masked prior to my quit).  The one encouraging thing I can say is that with time, life gets a lot better and quitting gets easier.

Early in November I had some dental work done resulting in one temporary crown.  Dentist told me not to east anything too hard or sticky, so I quit chewing gum (sugar free peppermint) because I didn't want the crown to fall off.  I had some issues with the fitting of the permanent crown, so I went the whole month of November without chewing gum, which was one of my tools for controlling my anxiety.  At the same time, my work responsibilities had ramped up immensely, which also didn't help my anxiety.  To say November was challenging is quite the understatement, but an interesting (and good) thing happened at the same time.   Once my permanent crown was installed, I was able to chew gum again. Curiously, I have only chewed 2 pieces of gum since the new crown, and I no longer feel the need to constantly chomp on a piece of gum for 8 hours a day.  It is quite amazing that if you quit something one day at a time how easy it is to change your life for the better.

When you are in the throws of withdrawals, it can be depressing when you don't see instant improvement.  Later when the quitting is getting easier and then you hit a major funk, you may wonder does this ever end?  Will I ever feel better?  What I can say is we are never cured.  We will always be addicted to nicotine.  The other thing I can say is it does get better.  A lot better.  Just quit for the day, and repeat.  It will get better.

oldschool
Quit and Free

[bubblehed668]

1061. Quit. Free. Here.

I had an interesting dip dream last night; this was the first dream where I did not actually put the crap in my mouth. I was in a social setting, and I could feel my anxiety taking control. That anxiety was fueling an intense crave. I felt a can in my pocket. I reached in and felt a can of dip.

It was the can of dip that was strange. It had a heavy, metallic, solid feel to it. Like the can was special; a can of dip with importance. The crave became more and more intense. I kept reaching for and holding that can longer and longer.

I then woke up. Fairly anti-climatic, but strange that I am still thinking that nicotine and the dipping process helps my anxiety.  We are never cured. 

oldschool.

You just never know when that nic biotch will sneak up on you and tap you on the shoulder.

[oldschool]

1061. Quit. Free. Here.

I had an interesting dip dream last night; this was the first dream where I did not actually put the crap in my mouth. I was in a social setting, and I could feel my anxiety taking control. That anxiety was fueling an intense crave. I felt a can in my pocket. I reached in and felt a can of dip.

It was the can of dip that was strange. It had a heavy, metallic, solid feel to it. Like the can was special; a can of dip with importance. The crave became more and more intense. I kept reaching for and holding that can longer and longer.

I then woke up. Fairly anti-climatic, but strange that I am still thinking that nicotine and the dipping process helps my anxiety.  We are never cured. 

oldschool.   

[oldschool]

1020  Quit.  Free.  Here.

Went home to visit my mother, who unfortunately broke her leg.  After the hospital visit, my wife and I were driving back to my parents home reminiscing about the old neighborhood when we decided to stop by the liquor store.  Hard to find a good liquor store in my neck of the woods in Iowa, and this place has been around for well over 50 years.  A treasure trove hidden in the Chicago suburbs.  It was never the cheapest liquor store, but it always had the greatest selection of hard to find spirits.  I had been on the hunt for Cynar (or even better Sicilian bitters) a missing ingredient for one of my favorite cocktails: The Bentonhurst. 

We looked at the vast selection for quite awhile, and I was able to find everything I was looking for.  Went to go to the front to pay, and I just stopped.  It must have been the smell, but there in front of me was a big humidor.  I don't remember this place selling cigars, but there they were.  I don't know why I stared.  I don't know how I remembered the names and brands of the cigars in front of me.  I don't know why I didn't move.  I thought about what one of those cigars would taste like.

I turned to my right and there was my wife glaring at me.  That look like "stop being a jackass".  That look like, "You have come so far I will never let you go back".  And, off I went to pay, without giving those cancer sticks another thought.  I had made my promise early that day.  I made it to my quit circle, my wife, and most importantly to myself.  We never know when temptation will be there.  We don't know if we will be alone or with friends.  We have to be prepared to look temptation square in the face, honor that promise we made, and just walk away.

[oldschool]

12 guests right now are on KTC.  Why have you not signed up and starting your quit?  What are you waiting for?  Cancer?

Quitting is hard.  Quitting is not for the weak.  There is strength in numbers.  Be strong with me.  Quit today.

[bubblehed668]

942 days.

My last post just shy of 100 days ago, I had a impactful dip dream the night before. I tried to describe just how surreal yet comfortably normal the experience was for me, yet I didn't understand the full significance until much later.  I focused more on the result rather than the symptom:  The frightening act of succumbing to my addiction was so grotesque that my scope was small and narrow.  Do whatever you must do to not cave on day 942.

It was much later that I finally discovered the connection between that dip dream and the (then) status of my quit.  I wrote that I was at a crossroads.  My quit was becoming comfortable, and quite frankly, I was becoming bored.  I think that my dip dream was not on accident.  My subconscious was alerting me to the very real possibility that at any point I could be weak enough and cave in to my addiction.  Complacency kills many things; momentum, success and even hope.  That was my real enemy.  The dip dream was a potential foreshadowing of what could become if I continued on the path of complacent quitting.

Wake
Up
Piss and
Post

This is the cornerstone for remaining quit and free.  Promise not to use for that day.  Keep your word.  Do it again the next day.
But, daily posting might not be enough to ward off the silent quit killer:  Complacency.

I urge everyone to protect their quit from complacency.  Log on to the site mid-day and check to see if your brothers and sisters have posted their promise.  Hold them accountable if they start to drift, post late, or worse start missing days.  Post support for new quitters and groups.  Let them know that they can get to HOF and beyond.  Pay it forward.  You are quit because the KTC process works, and it only works if quitters stay involved and hold each other accountable to our daily promise to remain nicotine free.

I urge everyone reading this that if you are still killing yourself by using nicotine, Quit.  The decision is not hard.  Just throw that can away.  Quitting is not hard:  Make your promise not to use for the day.  Keep your promise.  Withdrawals are challenging to all, but there is a community of quitters at KTC who have gone through it and can help you get through it.

oldschool
quit and free

There are so many quitters in the 150-300 day range that need to read this.  Complacency is a quit killer. 
As you said...GET INVOLVED!  Take a struggling newbie under your wing and make a difference.
When you pay it forward, it reinforces your own quit.  Thanks oldschool for the above.

I agree that a person needs a wake up call sometimes during what ever day count they are in. The biggest thing that helps me is staying involved just like Steve said. Plus Steve told me that smashing my jewels in a drawer would be much better then caving no matter how many times I smash them. Thanks old school for being a vet who has made a difference in peoples lives.

@Thefranks5, Steve is correct about the jewels and caving and you are correct about wake up calls. @oldschool, even at 4800 days you never know what life will throw at you and that nic bitch is waiting around the corner to see if she can get a foot back in the door. I have been away for far too long and life threw me a curve ball and I recognized that needed to get my ass back. I started having cave dreams again and I knew that was her trying to get in. As long as I make my promise everyday then I know I am good. The other good thing I have working is that I also made a promise to a bunch of quitters that in order for me to cave I had to each and everyone of them and get their permission to do so. I have 20 some odd numbers and I knew that not one would say yes.

[Thefranks5]

942 days.

My last post just shy of 100 days ago, I had a impactful dip dream the night before. I tried to describe just how surreal yet comfortably normal the experience was for me, yet I didn't understand the full significance until much later.  I focused more on the result rather than the symptom:  The frightening act of succumbing to my addiction was so grotesque that my scope was small and narrow.  Do whatever you must do to not cave on day 942.

It was much later that I finally discovered the connection between that dip dream and the (then) status of my quit.  I wrote that I was at a crossroads.  My quit was becoming comfortable, and quite frankly, I was becoming bored.  I think that my dip dream was not on accident.  My subconscious was alerting me to the very real possibility that at any point I could be weak enough and cave in to my addiction.  Complacency kills many things; momentum, success and even hope.  That was my real enemy.  The dip dream was a potential foreshadowing of what could become if I continued on the path of complacent quitting.

Wake
Up
Piss and
Post

This is the cornerstone for remaining quit and free.  Promise not to use for that day.  Keep your word.  Do it again the next day.
But, daily posting might not be enough to ward off the silent quit killer:  Complacency.

I urge everyone to protect their quit from complacency.  Log on to the site mid-day and check to see if your brothers and sisters have posted their promise.  Hold them accountable if they start to drift, post late, or worse start missing days.  Post support for new quitters and groups.  Let them know that they can get to HOF and beyond.  Pay it forward.  You are quit because the KTC process works, and it only works if quitters stay involved and hold each other accountable to our daily promise to remain nicotine free.

I urge everyone reading this that if you are still killing yourself by using nicotine, Quit.  The decision is not hard.  Just throw that can away.  Quitting is not hard:  Make your promise not to use for the day.  Keep your promise.  Withdrawals are challenging to all, but there is a community of quitters at KTC who have gone through it and can help you get through it.

oldschool
quit and free

There are so many quitters in the 150-300 day range that need to read this.  Complacency is a quit killer. 
As you said...GET INVOLVED!  Take a struggling newbie under your wing and make a difference.
When you pay it forward, it reinforces your own quit.  Thanks oldschool for the above.

I agree that a person needs a wake up call sometimes during what ever day count they are in. The biggest thing that helps me is staying involved just like Steve said. Plus Steve told me that smashing my jewels in a drawer would be much better then caving no matter how many times I smash them. Thanks old school for being a vet who has made a difference in peoples lives.

[stillbrewing]

942 days.

My last post just shy of 100 days ago, I had a impactful dip dream the night before. I tried to describe just how surreal yet comfortably normal the experience was for me, yet I didn't understand the full significance until much later.  I focused more on the result rather than the symptom:  The frightening act of succumbing to my addiction was so grotesque that my scope was small and narrow.  Do whatever you must do to not cave on day 942.

It was much later that I finally discovered the connection between that dip dream and the (then) status of my quit.  I wrote that I was at a crossroads.  My quit was becoming comfortable, and quite frankly, I was becoming bored.  I think that my dip dream was not on accident.  My subconscious was alerting me to the very real possibility that at any point I could be weak enough and cave in to my addiction.  Complacency kills many things; momentum, success and even hope.  That was my real enemy.  The dip dream was a potential foreshadowing of what could become if I continued on the path of complacent quitting.

Wake
Up
Piss and
Post

This is the cornerstone for remaining quit and free.  Promise not to use for that day.  Keep your word.  Do it again the next day.
But, daily posting might not be enough to ward off the silent quit killer:  Complacency.

I urge everyone to protect their quit from complacency.  Log on to the site mid-day and check to see if your brothers and sisters have posted their promise.  Hold them accountable if they start to drift, post late, or worse start missing days.  Post support for new quitters and groups.  Let them know that they can get to HOF and beyond.  Pay it forward.  You are quit because the KTC process works, and it only works if quitters stay involved and hold each other accountable to our daily promise to remain nicotine free.

I urge everyone reading this that if you are still killing yourself by using nicotine, Quit.  The decision is not hard.  Just throw that can away.  Quitting is not hard:  Make your promise not to use for the day.  Keep your promise.  Withdrawals are challenging to all, but there is a community of quitters at KTC who have gone through it and can help you get through it.

oldschool
quit and free

There are so many quitters in the 150-300 day range that need to read this.  Complacency is a quit killer. 
As you said...GET INVOLVED!  Take a struggling newbie under your wing and make a difference.
When you pay it forward, it reinforces your own quit.  Thanks oldschool for the above.

[oldschool]

942 days.

My last post just shy of 100 days ago, I had a impactful dip dream the night before. I tried to describe just how surreal yet comfortably normal the experience was for me, yet I didn't understand the full significance until much later.  I focused more on the result rather than the symptom:  The frightening act of succumbing to my addiction was so grotesque that my scope was small and narrow.  Do whatever you must do to not cave on day 942.

It was much later that I finally discovered the connection between that dip dream and the (then) status of my quit.  I wrote that I was at a crossroads.  My quit was becoming comfortable, and quite frankly, I was becoming bored.  I think that my dip dream was not on accident.  My subconscious was alerting me to the very real possibility that at any point I could be weak enough and cave in to my addiction.  Complacency kills many things; momentum, success and even hope.  That was my real enemy.  The dip dream was a potential foreshadowing of what could become if I continued on the path of complacent quitting.

Wake
Up
Piss and
Post

This is the cornerstone for remaining quit and free.  Promise not to use for that day.  Keep your word.  Do it again the next day.
But, daily posting might not be enough to ward off the silent quit killer:  Complacency.

I urge everyone to protect their quit from complacency.  Log on to the site mid-day and check to see if your brothers and sisters have posted their promise.  Hold them accountable if they start to drift, post late, or worse start missing days.  Post support for new quitters and groups.  Let them know that they can get to HOF and beyond.  Pay it forward.  You are quit because the KTC process works, and it only works if quitters stay involved and hold each other accountable to our daily promise to remain nicotine free.

I urge everyone reading this that if you are still killing yourself by using nicotine, Quit.  The decision is not hard.  Just throw that can away.  Quitting is not hard:  Make your promise not to use for the day.  Keep your promise.  Withdrawals are challenging to all, but there is a community of quitters at KTC who have gone through it and can help you get through it.

oldschool
quit and free

[ankape]

846 days of Freedom!

I had a dip dream this morning; well, actually, a dream of me dreaming I had a dip dream, until...

The dream started out with me putting a dip in.  I could taste it.  My mouth was watering.  I spit.  Then, the realization that I caved.  The remorse.  The guilt.  The shame.

But then I had this feeling it was just a dream.  That I woke up and I was in my parents house in their bathroom.  I remember the thought that I could still post my number.  That putting the dip in was just a dream.  I was ok.  Until I spit juice into the sink of the bathroom.  I looked into the mirror.  I opened up my mouth.  I saw what had to be an entire can of dip in my mouth.  Tobacco everywhere.  Saliva, drool, and tobacco juice everywhere.  I tried to spit the tobacco out, but I couldn't.  I dug my finger into that glob and tried to get it out, but I couldn't.  I had just caved on day 942.

What is the significance of day 942?  What will be so special, terrible, or remarkable about day 942 that i cave?  I thought about how good my gums and cheeks feel as I ran my tongue across them.  What made me decide to put a dip in and give that up?  How am I going to tell my quit friends that I caved?  Then I woke up.  Went to the bathroom.  Looked into the mirror.  Opened up my mouth, and made sure there was no dip in there.  Fuck!

We all find ourselves at a crossroad.  Some of us visit that crossroad regularly.  We make a decision at that crossroad, and move on.  I have been thinking about moving on.  Change.  Growth.  KTC used to be the website I spent the most time on:  it was number one suggestion when I opened up a new browser tab.  Now, even Pornhub has taken over KTC's place in my web surfing.  Google,  Youtube.  Ebay.  And, yes, even Pornhub, all have more page views than KTC.  My anxiety is better.  The oral fixation is not as bad.  I don't have any triggers when I pass a c-store.  Why post everyday?

Well, at the crossroad today, I made a decision.  I will post at least until day 942.  And now, I move on.

oldschool.

Congrats on 847 days quit. That's huge!
Dip dreams are the worst, and yours sounded so vivid. No fun. I have definitely woken from a dip dream and ran into the bathroom to look in the mirror. Keep on quttin' like the bad M'Fer you are.

mcsnapper1- 5 years quit- I promise no nicotine today.

Read this several times now, dang...I can almost feel your panic… I totally get what you’re saying...and I too have felt that immense relief that I could still post my number as well.

[mcsnapper1]

846 days of Freedom!

I had a dip dream this morning; well, actually, a dream of me dreaming I had a dip dream, until...

The dream started out with me putting a dip in.  I could taste it.  My mouth was watering.  I spit.  Then, the realization that I caved.  The remorse.  The guilt.  The shame.

But then I had this feeling it was just a dream.  That I woke up and I was in my parents house in their bathroom.  I remember the thought that I could still post my number.  That putting the dip in was just a dream.  I was ok.  Until I spit juice into the sink of the bathroom.  I looked into the mirror.  I opened up my mouth.  I saw what had to be an entire can of dip in my mouth.  Tobacco everywhere.  Saliva, drool, and tobacco juice everywhere.  I tried to spit the tobacco out, but I couldn't.  I dug my finger into that glob and tried to get it out, but I couldn't.  I had just caved on day 942.

What is the significance of day 942?  What will be so special, terrible, or remarkable about day 942 that i cave?  I thought about how good my gums and cheeks feel as I ran my tongue across them.  What made me decide to put a dip in and give that up?  How am I going to tell my quit friends that I caved?  Then I woke up.  Went to the bathroom.  Looked into the mirror.  Opened up my mouth, and made sure there was no dip in there.  Fuck!

We all find ourselves at a crossroad.  Some of us visit that crossroad regularly.  We make a decision at that crossroad, and move on.  I have been thinking about moving on.  Change.  Growth.  KTC used to be the website I spent the most time on:  it was number one suggestion when I opened up a new browser tab.  Now, even Pornhub has taken over KTC's place in my web surfing.  Google,  Youtube.  Ebay.  And, yes, even Pornhub, all have more page views than KTC.  My anxiety is better.  The oral fixation is not as bad.  I don't have any triggers when I pass a c-store.  Why post everyday?

Well, at the crossroad today, I made a decision.  I will post at least until day 942.  And now, I move on.

oldschool.

Congrats on 847 days quit. That's huge!
Dip dreams are the worst, and yours sounded so vivid. No fun. I have definitely woken from a dip dream and ran into the bathroom to look in the mirror. Keep on quttin' like the bad M'Fer you are.

mcsnapper1- 5 years quit- I promise no nicotine today.

[mcsnapper1]

*poof*

[oldschool]

846 days of Freedom!

I had a dip dream this morning; well, actually, a dream of me dreaming I had a dip dream, until...

The dream started out with me putting a dip in.  I could taste it.  My mouth was watering.  I spit.  Then, the realization that I caved.  The remorse.  The guilt.  The shame.

But then I had this feeling it was just a dream.  That I woke up and I was in my parents house in their bathroom.  I remember the thought that I could still post my number.  That putting the dip in was just a dream.  I was ok.  Until I spit juice into the sink of the bathroom.  I looked into the mirror.  I opened up my mouth.  I saw what had to be an entire can of dip in my mouth.  Tobacco everywhere.  Saliva, drool, and tobacco juice everywhere.  I tried to spit the tobacco out, but I couldn't.  I dug my finger into that glob and tried to get it out, but I couldn't.  I had just caved on day 942.

What is the significance of day 942?  What will be so special, terrible, or remarkable about day 942 that i cave?  I thought about how good my gums and cheeks feel as I ran my tongue across them.  What made me decide to put a dip in and give that up?  How am I going to tell my quit friends that I caved?  Then I woke up.  Went to the bathroom.  Looked into the mirror.  Opened up my mouth, and made sure there was no dip in there.  Fuck!

We all find ourselves at a crossroad.  Some of us visit that crossroad regularly.  We make a decision at that crossroad, and move on.  I have been thinking about moving on.  Change.  Growth.  KTC used to be the website I spent the most time on:  it was number one suggestion when I opened up a new browser tab.  Now, even Pornhub has taken over KTC's place in my web surfing.  Google,  Youtube.  Ebay.  And, yes, even Pornhub, all have more page views than KTC.  My anxiety is better.  The oral fixation is not as bad.  I don't have any triggers when I pass a c-store.  Why post everyday?

Well, at the crossroad today, I made a decision.  I will post at least until day 942.  And now, I move on.

oldschool.