Day 121- quitters log. Not much to report, but it has been a while and I feel like I just want to log it in so I can leave it behind.
Not much change in my situation since last post, really. My quit is now boring. The nicbitch still whispers in my ear. I still am not going to be fooled by it. Complacency is still the enemy, and I am committed to not become complacent too. I am still dealing with some messy home life situations, and the upshot of all that is that I keep facing things that i would have used as justifications to really ramp up my nicotine consumption in the past. However, I have no interest in using nicotine to deal with that stress now. I guess some reprogramming has been successful, and i'm damned glad.
I continue to get almost daily affirmative reinforcement about how important the network of fellow quitters here is to me. There are bros that have literally helped me through some major shit where I really took a lot of comfort in someone giving a damn enough to reach out. And, I am accountable to them not to use nicotine. Easy enough tradeoff for me.
I still owe a HOF speech, and I'm waiting for the inspiration. Really, HOF has turned out to be no big deal at all to me. But I woudl like to eventually get something down in writing that may help someone else. In the meantime, I"m just stacking +1's, creating lasting connections, and helping others when I can. Also learning how to deal with life in real-time, directly, without the damned poison crutch that really wasn't a crutch.
Been reading today about a guy who wants to stop posting after 200 days. This doesn't make sense to me. I've tried to learn a lot from others, and i'm convinced that things get better and better, but don't get really great until much later in the game than 200 days. More like they really seem to start to open up at a year or so, then really good around 500 to 1000 days. Yet, I've noticed there are funks at almost predictable times along the way even that long quit, and random big craves can creep up any time. I can't imagine walking away so soon as 200 days, and honestly I admire some of the people that have been around for 2years+ that right now I"d like to be helping others like them when I reach that time period.
Well, thats it for now. Damn i'm wordy sometimes. Looking forward to quite a few other quits that I've followed hitting HOF in the next few weeks- that'll be fun!