Congrats on the 500th bro, proud to quit with you EDD!! 'clap'
Congrats on 500 my quit brother and day twin. I am glad to have you as a brother and friend.
DITTO!!!
I wouldn't be here still without your support Brett. Congrats Brother!
You guys all rock- thank you! I was reflecting last night. It's amazing to be quit this long, because it's amazing the craves, triggers, and obstacles i've learned how to overcome or get through. I would have caved so many times-- life deals you things that the addiction will teach you to treat as a trigger, an excuse to have "just one" and then we all know what happens.
I never made it before in attempting to quit because I never had (1) a support network and (2) enough knowledge about the enemy i was fighting. It always tricked me, and nobody who knew what i was going through was there to help. This is the difference and why it works here. Newer quitters, you make this happen by jumping in, with both feet. Make friends here. Lots of them. People with all lengths of quits. They will hold you up. It's how it works. Also, get all the knowledge you can. This is a nasty, evil addiction. Hard-core, hard-wired messing with your brain, and you have to know the sorts of tricks it can try.... it will try them all, over time.
I'm still fighting. Just the past couple of days i've had some pretty strong "emptiness" sensations that i recognize used to send me straight to a can, even for "just one" if i had been stopped for a while. I don't always know why these come, but they sometimes just show up. Other times they can come with a trigger i can predict, but not always. What keeps me quit lately is a text group i'm in---- but i built those relationships by working the program here very hard- making connections, learning what i'm fighting, helping others and letting them help me. Meeting others in person is huge too... i honestly believe there are several guys who would hunt me down if i went missing- so I guess I followed in P's footsteps from the quote in my signature line.
The craves still come- i remember 380s being another tough spell for no apparent reason, just like the last few days. But regardless of the feelings that USED to be triggers, I have no interest in the damned weed anymore. It doesn't help me. I have the tools to beat any crave. All i have to do is use them. I also have the knowledge that these tools have gotten me through some pretty darned extreme circumstances in my quit time, so I know there is no reason for failure.
Along the way, I am learning how to live a life with out that ball and chain addiction weighing me down. I am learning how to have self esteem that is untarnished by a dirtly little secret habit and the shame of that. I am learning how to deal with stressors, lonliness as it comes, and anything else iwithout numbing it. I am learning how to be truly free. You all help me so much! The can, the addiction, used to be my perceived friend through it all. I took the jump, and those of you who support me or who come sign in in Jan 13 have taken the place of that old reliable.... bitch of an addiction tricking me into killing myself. You all are the gift i received for taking the risk of really quitting. Thank you for all the help along the way---LET'S KEEP KILLING THIS SNEAKY, SCARY, F-ED UP ADDICTION, and FIGHTING ALL THE POLITICAL AND FINANCIAL SYSTEM PLAYERS THAT ARE KEEPING IT KILLING GOOD PEOPLE BY TRICKING THEM INTO SLAVERY!!
