Day 16 of my 2nd quit.

[worktowin]

Can I wake up happy tomorrow? Can I have a good day tomorrow?

Yes.

You are winning. Winning isnÂ’t always easy. If it were, everyone would win.

Bro, take a breath. Look at your beautiful family. Focuscof them. When your mind goes to bad places, stop thinking about you and get on here and reach out to help someone else.

I’ve seen dozens of guys suffer from anxiety issues in my time here. They will all promise that it gets better. Let your doctor help you through the pharma issues, but let us help you with the “head games”. Nicotine is a nasty fuck. You will get better.

Smell the flowers. Eat some bacon. Have crazy sweaty sex with your hot wife. Life is good. Trust me.

[Doofus]

Yeh, you need to go read my day 78 and 86.....your experience right now is not special.....hell, it's not even different.....par for the course bro.....take your meds if you think that helps, sleep the day away if need be.....but you need to keep talking about it and continue posting and continue promising every day. Its gonna pass gotta be patient, keep crying it out, it wont hurt ya one bit.....hang in there bro.....read what Kybo said on my Day 86 too

[BubbaM]

Can I wake up happy tomorrow? Can I have a good day tomorrow?

[BubbaM]

Day 67

When is this over. When am I happy to be around my family. When does my brain flip a switch and be happy. It is wearing on me. The pain of being depressed. It is starting to feel like I will never change. And I will always feel this way. I know I love my family. But I withdrawal from them constantly. ItÂ’s not their fault. My girls have seen me crying now. I hope they are to young to remember as they get older.

My biggest problem is my mindset and my out look on life. People say that you need to be positive. Right now that is very hard for me to do.

I am Hungry and I am going to take one of my girls on a walk. Hopefully my brain will become happy.

[BubbaM]

Day 67
Woke up this morning. Went for a walk. Took a shower. Then started thinking about how I could end this and not feel the pain I feel. DonÂ’t worry. I talked to my wife about it. And IÂ’m not going to do anything drastic. I have to much to be thankful for and doing what I was thinking would be a selfish move. After church there was no relief. I started sobbing drastically after we got home. My wife wanted me to take the meds the doctor gave me and I refused. I went for a walk sobbing uncontrollably. My mom came and picked me up. My mom and Dad tried talking some sense into me. Told me to take meds. And if this mental health stuff keeps up then I need to go back to chewing. I took the meds. But I was basically sleeping the entire afternoon. I have been trying to find someone to talk to because my family seems like they are sick of it. I donÂ’t really know what to do or where to even begin. I have never cried like I did this morning. And I donÂ’t know why I did.

[Doofus]

Check your inbox.....I quit today too, day 120....it gets much much better, hang tight, ODAAT......read my intro, my dumb ass behavior will make you feel better.....you ain't alone

[BubbaM]

I have to get this off my chest. I wake up to another day. Make another promise. And I am down and pissed because I have to go through another day of complete mental torture. I try and be positive, but my outlook sucks today. I swear after this I will try and be positive but when does this stop. When can a guy get a day to be free from worry and free from being negative. I know a lot of you have said I need to have a positive outlook. What happens when you canÂ’t get out of that mode? And IÂ’m here slogging along. One day at a time.

[gifty]

Night 66

Went a bit better. Had supper with some friends. Kids got to play. Got home and gave baths and put kids to bed. Now relaxing on couch. I do have some anxiety about tomorrow and what that will bring. I donÂ’t know why I get this anxiety about the future but I do. I feel itÂ’s because I donÂ’t want to feel depressed or cry anymore. ThatÂ’s where the anxiety really comes from. Is that I donÂ’t want to feel that way. Same thing when I have down time. ThatÂ’s why I worry about down time because thatÂ’s when I will get emotional. I talked to my wife tonight. Let her know a few more things about how I am feeling. She is good. She is under a lot of stress too with our new baby. I am starting to wonder if I do all this to myself? If I work myself up? I donÂ’t have all the answers. When I go into bad moods I need to start calling relatives. Or people I love! I just never think of it because I am functioning in the butt of my brain. So I need to try and teach myself When IÂ’m in the butt of the brain. Then I need to try and deep breath or something until I think to call someone. Easier said then done because I usually cannot think of anything when I am in the butt of the brain.

I can't relate to your situation, but I know that "butt of the brain" state of mind. Just take it slow, take deep breaths and try to be the best version of yourself every day. I guarantee that the nicotine free version of yourself is the best version for your wife and children. I can't tell you what's going to help your anxiety but I'll throw some prayers your way and my number is in your inbox, feel free to use it if you just want to vent about anything. Good decision today making your promise and sticking to it. Wake up tomorrow, curb stomp your anxiety and do it all over again. Anybody can quit for one day and that's all you need to do.

[BubbaM]

Night 66

Went a bit better. Had supper with some friends. Kids got to play. Got home and gave baths and put kids to bed. Now relaxing on couch. I do have some anxiety about tomorrow and what that will bring. I donÂ’t know why I get this anxiety about the future but I do. I feel itÂ’s because I donÂ’t want to feel depressed or cry anymore. ThatÂ’s where the anxiety really comes from. Is that I donÂ’t want to feel that way. Same thing when I have down time. ThatÂ’s why I worry about down time because thatÂ’s when I will get emotional. I talked to my wife tonight. Let her know a few more things about how I am feeling. She is good. She is under a lot of stress too with our new baby. I am starting to wonder if I do all this to myself? If I work myself up? I donÂ’t have all the answers. When I go into bad moods I need to start calling relatives. Or people I love! I just never think of it because I am functioning in the butt of my brain. So I need to try and teach myself When IÂ’m in the butt of the brain. Then I need to try and deep breath or something until I think to call someone. Easier said then done because I usually cannot think of anything when I am in the butt of the brain.

[wildirish317]

Shift your focus, from quit to freedom. You are in a daily battle for freedom from your addiction. Don't post your days quit. Post your days free.

It might help.

[Steakbomb18]

Look, quit anxiety is a problem. Anxiety is a problem. Nicotine is a drug that you and almost all of us have used to self medicate and ease said problem. But at the end of the day, you have to remember this. Nicotine solves nothing. It fixes nothing. One problem + nicotine = 2 problems.

[Mack213]

Hey Bubba.

We haven't communicated a whole lot yet, so I dont want to step on your toes. But as an April 18 brother, i see you bud. It's obvious that your mental mind set isn't where you want it to be.

With that said, this is the only help I can try to give you. Keep in mind, I dont have every detail. Take what you want, leave the rest. Just wanna help if I can in any way.

Depression is a real thing. Therapists, doctors, they can help with this. But it all starts with you. Your outlook on things. Now, aside from waking up and feeling physically unwell, you control how positive or negative you want to be. If you want to be happy, optimistic, your going to be. If you want to be negative, pessimistic, thinking about how much you want a dip all day, your going to.

Me personally, with kids also, I see if I let this addiction take hold, they will be put through my bad decision. And the downward spiral starts. But this quit thing makes me feel positive and optimistic that maybe I fixed the problem before it took my life. More time with them, not dependent on anything. Winning.

I have days where maybe I'm grumpy or pissed at work, but I see them and the weight lifts. Then I think of my good decisions and it makes me feel good.

If there is so much more to the story and I dont understand, I apologize. I just hope that if you have the mental ability to choose how you view everyday when you wake up, I hope you find a way to choose happiness and optimism.

I'm quit with you on day 125. Hope your evening is filled with your families love. And it is mothers day weekend. Tell that nic bitch it's your wife's weekend, this weekend and everyone after. Not hers dammit.

Stay strong bro.

[Athan]

I don't have the words.
I don't have the magic pill.
I do know this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.....the whole site is pulling for you.
I correspond and text with quitters from all over the site. Everyone is following your plight. I hear they're even giving odds on you in Vegas (we got quitters there right now at the Trump towers).

I can't quit for you. I will quit with you. All day.

[BubbaM]

Day 66

SUCKS-wouldnÂ’t get out of bed because I was so depressed. Started crying to my wife. Got on KTC started ranting and raving. Was literally going bonkers and pissed because I didnÂ’t want to post roll. Not that I was going to go buy a can of dip but because I didnÂ’t want to post roll. I wanted to see I guess if I could make it without a promise. I eventually posted roll because a bunch of dudes started texting me. I took my daughter to soccer practice and started crying because all the support I was getting from complete strangers. Sometimes I just donÂ’t know what to think. Went to my LL game and that was a terrible game. Whole time I felt like I was dizzy and going to pass out. Now IÂ’m with my family. In a bit better spirits. I hope my night goes better. I will likely journal tonight how my night was. Here are my questions. Am I doing this to myself? Or is this all part of it? Why does this suck so much?

[Athan]

...When this is happening I am functioning out of the butt of my brain or the brain stem. This is the brains fight or flight area or mode. In order to get out of this mode or area of the brain you need to access your relationships. That is by either talking to someone face to face, relating to someone on the phone, looking at pictures on your phone of family. If you do this then you will stop functioning out of the butt of the brain and you will move your thought process up to the top of the brain. Your relationship area. ....

That is some VERY useful information. Never knew that. Another powerful tool. Gonna get mileage out of it.
Thanks for blogging it out faithfully. I'm sure a lot of folks will be reading your words for a long time.