Day 16 of my 2nd quit.

[BubbaM]

I suggest you read Allen Carr's "Easy Way to Stop Smoking." Just replace "dipping" with "smoking" in your head because it is all about nicotine anyway. Nicotine does not relieve stress. It is a stimulant, in fact, it doesn't relax us at all. Nicotine creates the stressful feeling and then it momentarily relieves it when we dip or smoke - only to create the stressful feeling again as it leave our bodies. And around and around we go. And for years, we mistakenly figured that it was this wonder stress reliever. As my signature says...that is like saying wearing uncomfortable shoes must relieve pain - because every time I take them off, the pain goes away.

Quitting is still difficult to you because you still think that you are depriving yourself of things because you no longer dip. Think of this: people who have never dipped don't seem to feel deprived by not dipping. Because it's a lie, Bubba - right now your battle isn't about medication or stress or sleep or anything like that...it is about changing how you view nicotine and what you think it does for you. Because it does NOTHING for you. Once that really sinks in, all of this gets so much easier.

Consider picking up Mr. Carr's book. It really helped me in this area.

Would that be at any library? Or am I better off on amazon or google?

[BubbaM]

If the day comes where a dumb decision is made or I canÂ’t handle a stressful situation. Well we will handle that when it comes.

Come on Bubba, you're better than this. This isn't how a 100+ day quitter thinks. You are quit for today. As long as you post roll, dammit you are quit for that day. There is no what if. There is no worrying about tomorrow, there is no worry about anything other than right now. and you know this, because this entire intro has been supported by people trying to keep you on the straight and narrow. For some reason, you seem to continue down you're own path rather than crossing the track and riding the quit train we're all on. It's like you're fighting it; stop fighting it and man the F' up. Take the bull by its horns and be confident in your quit.

I get what your saying Steak, it usually helps me to say whatever is on my mind. Confidence varies in people. My is beginning to build. I am beginning to fully understand the true meaning of this place! People recover differently, and it helps me to say whatever is on my mind. I just choose to put Anything and everything on my intro. I have actually been reaching out and helping other quitters. One has said he likes my intro page because He can relate!

[Steakbomb18]

If the day comes where a dumb decision is made or I canÂ’t handle a stressful situation. Well we will handle that when it comes.

Come on Bubba, you're better than this. This isn't how a 100+ day quitter thinks. You are quit for today. As long as you post roll, dammit you are quit for that day. There is no what if. There is no worrying about tomorrow, there is no worry about anything other than right now. and you know this, because this entire intro has been supported by people trying to keep you on the straight and narrow. For some reason, you seem to continue down you're own path rather than crossing the track and riding the quit train we're all on. It's like you're fighting it; stop fighting it and man the F' up. Take the bull by its horns and be confident in your quit.

[FLLipOut]

I suggest you read Allen Carr's "Easy Way to Stop Smoking." Just replace "dipping" with "smoking" in your head because it is all about nicotine anyway. Nicotine does not relieve stress. It is a stimulant, in fact, it doesn't relax us at all. Nicotine creates the stressful feeling and then it momentarily relieves it when we dip or smoke - only to create the stressful feeling again as it leave our bodies. And around and around we go. And for years, we mistakenly figured that it was this wonder stress reliever. As my signature says...that is like saying wearing uncomfortable shoes must relieve pain - because every time I take them off, the pain goes away.

Quitting is still difficult to you because you still think that you are depriving yourself of things because you no longer dip. Think of this: people who have never dipped don't seem to feel deprived by not dipping. Because it's a lie, Bubba - right now your battle isn't about medication or stress or sleep or anything like that...it is about changing how you view nicotine and what you think it does for you. Because it does NOTHING for you. Once that really sinks in, all of this gets so much easier.

Consider picking up Mr. Carr's book. It really helped me in this area.

[BubbaM]

I got this out of the way so we can go have fun on vacation!

June Jackhammers! I do not have words to describe what you guys mean to me. This has been a struggle for me and you all know that. Thanks for putting up with me! I feel I was looking for an easy way out. So I turned to my doctors for help. The few months during that I have no idea how this quit survived. I feel meds made me worse. They made my emotional outbursts hard to bare. I took 3 different meds directed by my doctors. I feel they meant well. But they have never studied nicotine addiction and withdrawal. The best thing for a person is to just drink water and get quality sleep. If you can work out, then work out. I am still scared of the future. Now that I have I made it this long and I know the path to quit. My mind keeps telling me that I can go back. It wonÂ’t be a big deal. Like Rham said. For my 18 years of use I have never lived a day without my pacifier. Especially when I am struggling with stress. ThatÂ’s what it all stems from, is stress and how we handle it. ThatÂ’s why people struggle to quit. Because people always want to feel happy. As do I. But I am starting to realize that being a real man means you deal with shit on your own. You can pray, exercise, or talk to loved ones. I have also been going to therapy. There was a lot of crap in my life that I pushed aside that I feel contributed to these outbursts too. Well I am starting to gain pride in myself that I am meeting these things head on! I have already conquered a few! Anyways, time to wrap this up and enjoy 100 and enjoy vacation! I am going to try and stay around. I will still have trials and tribulations that I will need someone there for me. Make sure you pick up the phone. I lean on you guys when I need to vent or cry or just yell! I wish I could meet all of you in my lifetime. No promises from me here just ODAAT for awhile!

Bump!

[BubbaM]

Today, I woke up scared...scared of not going to be able to make it. I donÂ’t feel like crap. I am not down. Just woke up scared. I love my family. Love my kids. I want to be around. Once again this forever word is daunting. I have read a few things in the last few days. About people hitting the comma. I donÂ’t know why this image of nicotine in my head still sometimes makes everything better. Even tho I keep telling myself, everytime that it will kill me. I guess just repeated. And repeated repetition of telling myself it will kill me. Then maybe my head will stop believe it would make a few activities that I do better. For the love of the good lord. I have made it this long and have almost done everything I want to do without it. Everyday I keep saying no I am adding time to my life. ThatÂ’s how I am starting to gather this in my head. If the day comes where a dumb decision is made or I canÂ’t handle a stressful situation. Well we will handle that when it comes. Today ODAAT.

[FLLipOut]

Approaching the HOF I am hesitant to write a HOF Speech. Various reasons, I am not looking for sympathy, but I am way better but the confidence to stay quit is not their yet. Forever is a fear for me, I hate the word. I got to get used to it. I donÂ’t want to let people down. Even though I would be letting myself down the most. These are a few reasons. If I think of some more I will put them down. I have been getting better because I am not
Trying to get better. When I need to cry I cry. If I need to get mad I get mad. I still donÂ’t know if I have just thoughts our cravings all the time. But they are way easier to handle. Today is one day at a time and tomorrow is tomorrow. CanÂ’t worry about it. ThatÂ’s partly the reason why I donÂ’t want to write a HOF Speech right now. Because tomorrow is tomorrow. And anything in the future dealing with quitting make me go crazy inside. But thing are better!

Bubba, stick it out. There is a reason we say just ONE DAY AT A TIME. Because forever is too much. And it never happens, anyway, we only have today.

But here is a promise: If you keep racking up the +1s and stick to this, one day you will be okay with the thought of "forever." In fact, you will embrace it. You will celebrate it. Because nicotine will have finally lost its grip on you. It takes time though. Be patient with the process and be patient with yourself.

You have to really learn to HATE nicotine (read, read and read some more!) - and once you get there - you will stop romanticizing its delivery systems. I am nearing the 7th floor and I still have moments where I really crave a cigarette...but I no longer feel like I'm depriving myself by no longer smoking.

Congrats on your HUNDO today. And write your HOF whenever it feels right.

[worktowin]

Congrats on 100 days quit Bubba! I want you to know that there are better days ahead for sure.
keep fighting the good fight. Proud to be quit with you!

Bubba, proud as hell to quit with you today, brutha. Congrats on a day that you should feel 10' tall. Keep it up, better days ahead.

You are the man!

[BrianG]

Congrats on 100 days quit Bubba! I want you to know that there are better days ahead for sure.
keep fighting the good fight. Proud to be quit with you!

[worktowin]

Approaching the HOF I am hesitant to write a HOF Speech. Various reasons, I am not looking for sympathy, but I am way better but the confidence to stay quit is not their yet. Forever is a fear for me, I hate the word. I got to get used to it. I donÂ’t want to let people down. Even though I would be letting myself down the most. These are a few reasons. If I think of some more I will put them down. I have been getting better because I am not
Trying to get better. When I need to cry I cry. If I need to get mad I get mad. I still donÂ’t know if I have just thoughts our cravings all the time. But they are way easier to handle. Today is one day at a time and tomorrow is tomorrow. CanÂ’t worry about it. ThatÂ’s partly the reason why I donÂ’t want to write a HOF Speech right now. Because tomorrow is tomorrow. And anything in the future dealing with quitting make me go crazy inside. But thing are better!

100 isn't the end, and for me wasn't even the first mental milestone. I won't tell you when I reached that, but it isn't far off. I didn't write my HOF until after 100. I needed to feel like I was winning instead of fighting. When that day comes, and it will, then you should think about writing a speech. Until then, keep doing what you are doing.

Look back at where you where. There are signs of winning starting to emerge. You'll get there. I promise.

[BubbaM]

Approaching the HOF I am hesitant to write a HOF Speech. Various reasons, I am not looking for sympathy, but I am way better but the confidence to stay quit is not their yet. Forever is a fear for me, I hate the word. I got to get used to it. I donÂ’t want to let people down. Even though I would be letting myself down the most. These are a few reasons. If I think of some more I will put them down. I have been getting better because I am not
Trying to get better. When I need to cry I cry. If I need to get mad I get mad. I still donÂ’t know if I have just thoughts our cravings all the time. But they are way easier to handle. Today is one day at a time and tomorrow is tomorrow. CanÂ’t worry about it. ThatÂ’s partly the reason why I donÂ’t want to write a HOF Speech right now. Because tomorrow is tomorrow. And anything in the future dealing with quitting make me go crazy inside. But thing are better!

[worktowin]

Alright, I knew this was coming. Just didnÂ’t expect me to get upset and sad about it. My aunt passed away tonight. She had a bacterial infection for some time and hospice was called in. I spent a lot of time with her in my middle school years. Then they moved away when they retired. I just had a lot of good memories come back from my childhood. The hardest part tonight was praying with my girls before bed and praying to God that she has a safe trip to Heaven! My 3 year
old didnÂ’t really understand. But my 8 year old knew why daddy was upset about praying for that. Aunt Lonnie, I hope to see you one day again! I will keep you in our prayers and I will keep your family in our prayers!

By the way...her son Jimmy is a bad ass quitter that did it on his own! Going to be good to see him because I had a nice conversation with him like 2 months ago about quitting!

My sympathies on your loss Bubba. It sounds like your aunt likely knew the challenge that quitting really is. And I bet that she was proud of her son for winning at this challenge. The best way for you to honor her memory would be to continue that familial quit win chain.

Be proud of what youÂ’ve accomplished sir.

[BubbaM]

Alright, I knew this was coming. Just didnÂ’t expect me to get upset and sad about it. My aunt passed away tonight. She had a bacterial infection for some time and hospice was called in. I spent a lot of time with her in my middle school years. Then they moved away when they retired. I just had a lot of good memories come back from my childhood. The hardest part tonight was praying with my girls before bed and praying to God that she has a safe trip to Heaven! My 3 year
old didnÂ’t really understand. But my 8 year old knew why daddy was upset about praying for that. Aunt Lonnie, I hope to see you one day again! I will keep you in our prayers and I will keep your family in our prayers!

By the way...her son Jimmy is a bad ass quitter that did it on his own! Going to be good to see him because I had a nice conversation with him like 2 months ago about quitting!

[BubbaM]

The 90Â’s have been well...annoying. Always whispers in my ears. But not making days totally worthless. The 80Â’s were exciting fun actually had a good mindset. Why do the 90Â’s suck but not that bad? 90Â’s make me
Question things a lot? Why?

90Â’s are dumb. 90Â’s are boring. Maybe this is boring? Maybe I need a vacation...man...is it just me or am I the only one still complaining about this shit...

Anxiety has been way better. Can manage it. Starts in morning if it comes. I think because I am unsure about the day.

Lately here is my problem, I have been running myself ragged just trying to stay busy so I donÂ’t have downtime. Is that normal? My wife has really been noticing it.

Been on KTC a lot lately? Is that normal? I probly have the highest usage on the site.

Answer all questions if you respond. Not just one.

[BubbaM]

Alright, I am going on vacation next week and should be ok because I should have cell service. Also, I havenÂ’t had any therapy the last few weeks because my therapist is on vacation and then IÂ’m going on vacation. So if I lean on boards a bit more I am sorry. Here are my thoughts.

-Why is my only topic of conversation about quitting. I tell everyone and I canÂ’t stop myself. Am I looking for attention? I get freaked about that because Rham said thatÂ’s what he did on his first
Quit. Answer as you may...

-I feel like I have been doing better, even yesterday I lost it a bit but it is controllable. To me, this is just to me, donÂ’t take this wrong. I feel that my brothers are doing better? Or able to move on quicker? Or just better at the quitting thing? Answer as you may...

Expectations! I know, I need to lose them. I think I have started to let go of them and thatÂ’s why I am doing better from day to day.

Anyways Mambo and Mariners, you guys deserve 100! I hope your enjoy your day!