Day 16 of my 2nd quit.

[worktowin]

As you can tell I journal a lot. I donÂ’t know if itÂ’s a good or bad thing. I say whatÂ’s on my mind then I try and move on with my day. Been doing pretty good lately. I just want to talk about the goofy moods or weird moods I can get in. Usually in the morning or when I am by myself. ItÂ’s like I start having pity parties but for short stretches. I have them more when I wake up and am laying around and have nothing to do for a bit. ItÂ’s like I donÂ’t know how to occupy my time and then my mind starts racing or wandering. Or if I have any kind of dream then I wake up and donÂ’t know how to handle it. I have been dreaming a lot lately and I donÂ’t know why? ItÂ’s been weird because I have never dreamed this much before. Anybody got any thoughts on anything I said let me know!

Wake up your wife and have some crazy hot wild wake up sex. YouÂ’ll forget all about your weird dreams or bummed out mood. Works 100% of the time.

Trust me on this one Bubba.

[BubbaM]

As you can tell I journal a lot. I donÂ’t know if itÂ’s a good or bad thing. I say whatÂ’s on my mind then I try and move on with my day. Been doing pretty good lately. I just want to talk about the goofy moods or weird moods I can get in. Usually in the morning or when I am by myself. ItÂ’s like I start having pity parties but for short stretches. I have them more when I wake up and am laying around and have nothing to do for a bit. ItÂ’s like I donÂ’t know how to occupy my time and then my mind starts racing or wandering. Or if I have any kind of dream then I wake up and donÂ’t know how to handle it. I have been dreaming a lot lately and I donÂ’t know why? ItÂ’s been weird because I have never dreamed this much before. Anybody got any thoughts on anything I said let me know!

[BubbaM]

Still have thoughts about dip. They are not overwhelming like before. The thought is usually like... would I dip now if I could? It would be nice now? Why am I down now? Man IÂ’m happy now it would be a good time for a dip? Man that pisses me off, I wanna dip? Then I just quietly remind myself that I am not dipping today!

[wildirish317]

Thursday! Freaking kidding me! Working all day in the rain! Then I get a text that a dude I have been talking to caved! What? What do you mean? Did the dip in your lip help at all? IÂ’m the one that should cave? There is no medical conditions that is causing me to quit. Dammit! DonÂ’t get me wrong! The point of this is to reach out and help people! Then they cave! That doesnÂ’t help my quit. This is the 2nd dude who I have been talking to that decides itÂ’s cool to chew. Help people it will help your quit! Seriously? WhoÂ’s idea was this? How about I help no one on the rainy Thursday! When I am digging holes in the muddy earth. Great idea! Join a website that you post a promise and help people, BUT, they donÂ’t have to post or keep a promise! BS! I could keep going on and on. I will leave it at that.

Your rage is 100% justified, Bubba. At KTC, all that we have is our word. We give it, we keep it. Not everyone wants to win bro... unfortunately some people do not honor their word. I cannot and will not defend that, but I will promise you this - I gave my word this morning, and by God I will keep it today.

I'm still honored to quit with you.

You can't save the world, if they don't want to be saved.

Now you know what it feels like to be shite upon.

Don't shite on others. That's all I got.

[worktowin]

Thursday! Freaking kidding me! Working all day in the rain! Then I get a text that a dude I have been talking to caved! What? What do you mean? Did the dip in your lip help at all? IÂ’m the one that should cave? There is no medical conditions that is causing me to quit. Dammit! DonÂ’t get me wrong! The point of this is to reach out and help people! Then they cave! That doesnÂ’t help my quit. This is the 2nd dude who I have been talking to that decides itÂ’s cool to chew. Help people it will help your quit! Seriously? WhoÂ’s idea was this? How about I help no one on the rainy Thursday! When I am digging holes in the muddy earth. Great idea! Join a website that you post a promise and help people, BUT, they donÂ’t have to post or keep a promise! BS! I could keep going on and on. I will leave it at that.

Your rage is 100% justified, Bubba. At KTC, all that we have is our word. We give it, we keep it. Not everyone wants to win bro... unfortunately some people do not honor their word. I cannot and will not defend that, but I will promise you this - I gave my word this morning, and by God I will keep it today.

I'm still honored to quit with you.

[BubbaM]

Thursday! Freaking kidding me! Working all day in the rain! Then I get a text that a dude I have been talking to caved! What? What do you mean? Did the dip in your lip help at all? IÂ’m the one that should cave? There is no medical conditions that is causing me to quit. Dammit! DonÂ’t get me wrong! The point of this is to reach out and help people! Then they cave! That doesnÂ’t help my quit. This is the 2nd dude who I have been talking to that decides itÂ’s cool to chew. Help people it will help your quit! Seriously? WhoÂ’s idea was this? How about I help no one on the rainy Thursday! When I am digging holes in the muddy earth. Great idea! Join a website that you post a promise and help people, BUT, they donÂ’t have to post or keep a promise! BS! I could keep going on and on. I will leave it at that.

[Gromo]

Rainy day quit, just letting you know I had an appointment with the psychiatrist. He wanted to get me on meds because I have small emotional outbursts. I said no, I understand my brain is healing from this still. I have been doing great things with my family and kids. Sometimes I get emotional. Is this normal? YES! Because I am not numbing my body.

There is one thing I need to admit, sometimes I feel bad about this but I have a panic bag. It usually goes everywhere with me. In it I have seeds, gum, jolly ranchers, mints, fake dip, and lorazepam. I havenÂ’t used the meds in a very long time. My next hurdle is not taking the bag everywhere. Or taking something out of the bag. One at a time. Thoughts?

I have my panic bag too, But I basically use it as a mini purse now, just a cvs pharmacy plastic bag and it has inhaler, allegra, my escitalopram, my lorazepam, multi vitimin, fish oil pill, abriva for when that face herpes pops up, a razor and a bottle of shaving cream, a tooth brush and toothpaste, can of fake dip, never leave the house without it, its always either in my truck when I'm out and about, in my office at work or in my bathroom at home. You just start distancing yourself from it but I don't see anything wrong with having it, I used to damn near carry it with me for the first few weeks. And now as long as its in the truck when I'm at a restaurant or going for a hike or whatever I don't need it near me. A lot of the time now I actually am even leaving it at home, at least when I'm not staying long somewhere, grocery store, post office, gas etc etc. But whatever keeps you feeling good, who cares. If you gotta strap that thing around your waste and have it touching you at all times of the day and that makes you feel safe...then do it. Doesn't effect anyone else.

[BubbaM]

Rainy day quit, just letting you know I had an appointment with the psychiatrist. He wanted to get me on meds because I have small emotional outbursts. I said no, I understand my brain is healing from this still. I have been doing great things with my family and kids. Sometimes I get emotional. Is this normal? YES! Because I am not numbing my body.

There is one thing I need to admit, sometimes I feel bad about this but I have a panic bag. It usually goes everywhere with me. In it I have seeds, gum, jolly ranchers, mints, fake dip, and lorazepam. I havenÂ’t used the meds in a very long time. My next hurdle is not taking the bag everywhere. Or taking something out of the bag. One at a time. Thoughts?

[rdad]

Flip I will check it out. I will get it here in the future.

Days are better, way better, itÂ’s more of longings or just thoughts about dipping. Like when my days are boring or the same. Then I start thinking more about it. And itÂ’s not like IÂ’m going to go buy a can. I feel I have proven to myself now that if I post roll I am good for the day. But if I am not busy or around certain people or things, then I will think about it a lot more. Is this normal? I would say yes. My dad told me when he quit smoking it took him about a year before the thoughts would go away for some time.

Those thoughts you have... reminders that you are winning.

Bubba, there is a free online book by John Polito called Freedom from Nicotine, The Journey Home. It really helped me in my early quit. You are doing great. Hang in there. It gets so much better!

[worktowin]

Flip I will check it out. I will get it here in the future.

Days are better, way better, itÂ’s more of longings or just thoughts about dipping. Like when my days are boring or the same. Then I start thinking more about it. And itÂ’s not like IÂ’m going to go buy a can. I feel I have proven to myself now that if I post roll I am good for the day. But if I am not busy or around certain people or things, then I will think about it a lot more. Is this normal? I would say yes. My dad told me when he quit smoking it took him about a year before the thoughts would go away for some time.

Those thoughts you have... reminders that you are winning.

[BubbaM]

Flip I will check it out. I will get it here in the future.

Days are better, way better, itÂ’s more of longings or just thoughts about dipping. Like when my days are boring or the same. Then I start thinking more about it. And itÂ’s not like IÂ’m going to go buy a can. I feel I have proven to myself now that if I post roll I am good for the day. But if I am not busy or around certain people or things, then I will think about it a lot more. Is this normal? I would say yes. My dad told me when he quit smoking it took him about a year before the thoughts would go away for some time.

[FLLipOut]

I suggest you read Allen Carr's "Easy Way to Stop Smoking." Just replace "dipping" with "smoking" in your head because it is all about nicotine anyway. Nicotine does not relieve stress. It is a stimulant, in fact, it doesn't relax us at all. Nicotine creates the stressful feeling and then it momentarily relieves it when we dip or smoke - only to create the stressful feeling again as it leave our bodies. And around and around we go. And for years, we mistakenly figured that it was this wonder stress reliever. As my signature says...that is like saying wearing uncomfortable shoes must relieve pain - because every time I take them off, the pain goes away.

Quitting is still difficult to you because you still think that you are depriving yourself of things because you no longer dip. Think of this: people who have never dipped don't seem to feel deprived by not dipping. Because it's a lie, Bubba - right now your battle isn't about medication or stress or sleep or anything like that...it is about changing how you view nicotine and what you think it does for you. Because it does NOTHING for you. Once that really sinks in, all of this gets so much easier.

Consider picking up Mr. Carr's book. It really helped me in this area.

Would that be at any library? Or am I better off on amazon or google?

Not sure if it is at the library or not. Probably, because it has been a top seller for years. Google Allen Carr and it will come up. Hell, pm me your address and I will personally drive to Barnes and Noble and buy it and mail it to you. I will. Because I am rooting for you, friend, and I want this quit to be your last quit and the struggle to lessen.

[BubbaM]

IÂ’ve put this in here several times. You need to start recognizing and celebrating that you are winning. Fighting for 103 days is exhausting. If you take a few minutes to reflect and smile and remember that this is 103 straight days of win in a row, negative starts turning to positive. Try it Bubba. Winning feels good.

I am agreeing with you, Vacation was amazing with my family. Had a few ups and downs but more ups! Everything is getting easier to handle. I am beginning to live life again! ODAAT! I want to thank everyone for all of your support! Without this place I wouldnÂ’t be able to do it!

[worktowin]

IÂ’ve put this in here several times. You need to start recognizing and celebrating that you are winning. Fighting for 103 days is exhausting. If you take a few minutes to reflect and smile and remember that this is 103 straight days of win in a row, negative starts turning to positive. Try it Bubba. Winning feels good.

[Clint31]

You are a good man, my friend... keep pounding.